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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Sleepless in California

I'm having a hard time sleeping tonight. Probably because Brianna was having a hard time sleeping and I fell asleep with her at 8:30 and then woke up at midnight to an adrenaline rush from killing a huge cockroach in my bathroom!  But whatever the reason . . . here are some things on my mind:
  • I love rainstorms.  A really good rainstorm has always taken me back to Ricks College and dancing in the parking lot with my roommates, drenched through and through and LOVING it, splashing each other with mud puddles, laughing our heads off each and every time.  Today, though, I got a new rain memory.  My two-year-olds hearing the rain while they played in their room and running through the house to the back sliding glass door, anxiously asking me to please open the blinds and screaming with excitement as large raindrops turned to large puddles, which turned to a large-though-shallow lake across our patio, which turned to large splashes in the lake.  And once Brianna heard them, she crawled in as fast as she could and squealed with them, standing up next to the window, tapping the glass and laughing in excitement!  Once it was over, nothing could keep those two inside!  They begged me to let them jump on the trampoline, and after stripping them down to their diapers and pulling Abby's hair up, out they went!  They literally played until the huge 1" deep lake was all dried up.  And that memory - of them splashing and kicking water at each other, crawling under the trampoline and back out, throwing water from their little cup all over each other, stomping and squealing with glee and surprise every time they got splashed, etc. - will always bring a smile to my face!
  • I love a clean house!  In fact, there are few things that make me happier than sitting in my house with nothing to clean, enjoying the order and spirit and freshness and liberation of it all!
  • Tonight we read a few books on the sofa together - just me and my twins!  I treasure those moments! It never ceases to amaze me how much they are like little sponges, wanting to interact and interface with everything in sight!  They would seriously jump into every book we ever read if they could.  And they already ask questions to understand the story/pictures better -- but then again, Dr. Seuss invites questions sometimes, doesn't he? ;-D  And as we read the ABC book in English and I had them repeat the words in Spanish and they scurried off to find any objects in the book that they have in real life, I just smiled!  Our nighttime song tonight was "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" because X stands for Xylophone and they ran and got their xylophone - and that's the only song I have sat down to learn how to play on it!  And since they threw the stick under the stove where it just might stay forever . . . we played it with the hooves of Abby's "Forsey" (horsey).
  • I'll never get over cockroaches, no matter how many times I have to kill them - big or "small" (less big, but still BIG).  I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them.  And I know this is an irrational feeling towards such strange little bugs . . . but I really stopped caring a long time ago!  Yep - I am SOOOO over the fact that my hate is irrational!  And hate it truly, truly, truly is!
  • Simplicity.  Oh the power of that word!  I have grown to LOVE and SEEK simplicity!  Easy dinner of sliced lettuce, diced grilled chicken, cottage cheese, and salsa - sign me up!  Can I use the same plate and cup and utensils all day to avoid a ton of dishes?  Yes, yes I can!  Can I pack away clothes that are cute but we really don't need and/or get around to wearing and I realize that having them just gives me excuses to put off doing laundry and more laundry to do when I finally get around to it?  Yes, actually!  And I do so with GLEE!!!  Do I pack away toys that the kids only play with when they're throwing them out of the toy box in search of the toys they really want and I find myself spending more time cleaning them up than the kids spent dumping them out?  I do, I do, I really do!  And I don't feel bad when they discover the boxes/bags of said toys and throw a tantrum because I won't open them up and let them dump them all over the room/house again.  Nope - not one bit.  Why?  Because simplicity frees me up to enjoy more things - like story time on the sofa with my kids because dinner didn't take an hour to clean up after and the toys didn't take an extra fifteen minutes to get them to clean up after.  And it frees me to hold Brianna's hand and walk down the hall or across the room with her a few more times during the day.  And it lets me sit unabashed and watch my kids play in the water outside or *gulp* - and I'm still perfecting this one - go out and play WITH them.  And at the end of the day . . . everyone is just that much happier!
  • Brianna . . . oh my dear little angel girl!  There is only one room in the house she is really outlawed from entering un-accompanied.  And it is precisely that room that she hovers outside of in unsuspecting moments and crawls toward as fast as she can whenever she sees the open door opportunity, letting out squeals of delight that give her away and let me intercept her just as she finally makes it in: the Bathroom!  And today, she just started clapping and smiling whenever she hears someone say yay!  And we played like that for a while, me pretending to ignore her and then randomly screaming, "Yay!" and her face lighting up as she realized that was her cue to start clapping again!  It was really a fun game!  One I got a very tired girl to repeat for Daddy after much prodding at the dinner table tonight.  Now we're working on "Hip-hip Hooray!" with her arms high above her head!  And by working on it I mean that it's my focus of playtime tomorrow!
  • We bought all the stuff to make these really cute 4th of July 'Smore suckers I saw on The Idea Room website.  We invited people over to join the fun.  We made the 'smores and we melted the chocolate.  And it didn't melt like we had thought it would.  So Dave added some milk to smooth it out/liquify it a bit more so we could dip the 'smores in it and . . . you are already laughing?  So you realize that you should NEVER add milk to melted chocolate?  Why didn't you tell me?  And next time, we will freeze the 'smores and then stick the sticker stick in them and THEN try dipping them in our non-milky milk chocolate dipping sauce.  It'll be fabulous enough to take pictures!!!  And no, we didn't throw the chocolate out.  Dave is freezing it for one day in the future when we aren't on a no-sugar-besides-on-holidays kick and he can make his chocolate praline pecan cheesecake for some lucky friends to enjoy with us.  I really can't wait!
  • I really love brushing my teeth!  In fact, if I had time to brush my teeth five times a day, just to have that fresh, minty, clean feeling all day long, I would totally do it!  Well, if I wasn't watching money like a hawk and felt that doing so was quite unnecessary and even potentially wasteful.  Cuz I would think of something like that. :-)
  • Budgeting.  If budgeting were chocolate, my sister would be an addict.  And I would be the one sitting by, watching her eat, licking my lips and wishing I could have a bite - a morsel - a lick even some days!  But today I spent hours - for the umpteenth time this year - trying to work out a budget for the next year.  Knock on wood because EVERY SINGLE TIME I have done this in the last six months, something has happened that required enough money to completely blow my budget out of the water and send me back to the drawing board, resigned to the fact that we would never have money in savings again!  But this time -- this time I really hope it sticks!  We're trying to get back to grad school, hoping to move back to northern Idaho/Eastern Washington in the process and - try as I may to get around it - moving and grad school mean lots of sacrifices and money!  So I'm praying we can cut and shave and pinch and sell and make it. 
  • Friends are like . . . well there are a lot of phrases I could use to end that statement.  Chocolate. A sunny afternoon. A walk on the beach.  A pile of clean laundry.  But tonight I am thinking that friends are just plain good to have.  Cuz I'm a "people who need people" person, not gonna lie!  And not having people could quite possibly be one of the hardest things for me in this world!  And by people I mean friends!  Maybe it's because I fear that I could pass through an entire stage of my life completely unnoticed, no one caring I was there or missing my presence when I left.  I think anywhere you go, everywhere you live, everything you do, etc. - you need real friends.  Even if it is just one.  One golden friend who will accept you for who you are, not judge you when your house is a mess or your kids are bouncing off the walls and ceiling and kitchen sink and . . . . One golden friend who truly cares about what you are doing during the day, even if it really isn't anything at all.  One friend you are comfortable having drop by your house when you're still in your pajamas at 3:00 in the afternoon and your kids are running around in nothing but diapers or perched on the sofa watching Dora the Explorer for the fifth time that day.  Better still, one you can drop in on without feeling like an imposition, even if you might be one at the moment.  One golden friend who you gladly let use your bathroom without worrying that the entire world will hear that your toilet hasn't been cleaned in a while - or make microwave popcorn with without worrying that the spaghetti-splatted microwave you didn't have time to stop and clean in the moment and consequently haven't had triple the time to clean since will get you "the look".  And definitely a friend you can spend holidays with and, more importantly, cry with.  And after typing this I just realized that I am married to him.  And that makes me smile.  But that means I also have to change this entire paragraph to TWO friends!  You need TWO such friends! :-)

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Queen for a Day

This has been a really mixed-emotion weekend.  We attended a beautiful funeral for a dear girl in our ward today - Chloe Mohun.  Funerals have been an overarching theme of my 2011 experience, and each one brings the same mixture of gratitude, sorrow, fear, hope, love, desire to serve and lift and create days free of any regrets just in case -- a lot of emotions, really!

Second of all, today is my birthday.

My dear friend Emily sent me a gift card from Fandango for my birthday (movie theaters, if you are clueless like me and wondering what Fandango is).  So we took the kids to Cars 2 yesterday.  It was their first time in a movie theater.  We had a couple of meltdowns/tantrums when the popcorn made us all really thirsty and we were trying to be cheap and not buy a drink to go along with it.  But we made it through them and mostly it was just really fun!  Abby stood through almost all of it, shouting, "Yay, you did it!" when the 'good' cars got away from the 'bad' cars.  She and Brianna danced to all the music.  And Abby would randomly yell out, "This is fun, Mom!" or "Woo-hoo!  Good job!" and other encouraging bursts of two-year-old enthusiasm aimed at the characters on the screen.  Isaac mostly just sat, mesmerized by it all.  But then he spent the entire evening with his red toy car - which suddenly took on the name "Qween" - running away from the school bus and fire engine and ambulance and always victorious!  In fact, I am sure he'll be inseparably connected to that little red race car for a long time!

My mom sent me the cutest apple-themed Chore Chart with our pictures in small frames that hang below each person's list of chores to do.  She spent a lot of time on it, and it really is so worth it!!!

And Dave treated me to a day filled with everything special for me!  He went shopping this morning and bought two doughnuts to share with the kids and was good enough to NOT buy me one!  Instead, he got me a small bag of my favorite sugar-free cinnamon bears from the bulk section at WinCo!  They were fresh, too!  YUM!  Other food favorites that he splurged on for my birthday included ham steak - grilled on the grill outside, baked sweet potatoes, our first watermelon in a year, and some sugar-free ice cream and diet A&W Root Beer for root beer floats!  Top it off with my "cake" this year - a mostly-sugar-free mixed berry, jello, pudding, angel food cake trifle - and it was pretty much the perfect day!!!  Although we actually haven't eaten the watermelon or cake yet -- but it's a holiday weekend, so there's plenty of time to get around to all of that!  We are also splurging for the 4th of July and having corn on the cob!!!  I'm really excited!


More than anything, though - Dave just did a million small things today to make it special!  He even wrote this on my Facebook wall: "Happy birthday to the most awesome mother, coolest wife, most attractive English major, most deadly secret government agent and all around best person in the world!"  In case you were wondering, this was my reply, "Thanks Dave! I definitely couldn't do any of it without you . . . especially the secret government agent part. They would have found out a long time ago that my i.d. was fake and I have no idea how to use a gun if it weren't for your dashing good looks and smooth tongue that are always distracting them! I love you! Thanks for making it the best birthday and . . . every day . . . ever! I know, I know . . . you put up with a lot! ;-D"

I felt like a Queen today!  And if that is what it means to be 31 -- er -- 29 again -- then WELCOME, WELCOME!!!

I also got to have a couple of really good conversations with my brother and sister, and that always makes me feel good to know I have people who love me!  Perhaps particularly in lieu of the funeral today, that is THE most important gift I think you could get for your birthday!