Prayer of the Children

We just found out that Dave's nephew went in to have his wisdom teeth removed and had a seizure.  His wife, who also had her wisdom teeth removed, posted on Facebook to request prayers in his behalf.  I called all of the kids in to kneel down and say a prayer.  I showed them TJ's picture, Beau's daddy, and Shaylee's picture so they would know who they were.  Then I explained that TJ was sick and in the hospital and needed our prayers.  Of course, they ALL wanted to say it!  So we knelt in a family circle and I let each of the kids say a prayer for them.  We talked about praying for Shaylee as well that she would have peace.  Isaac asked me what peace was.  I explained that peace is happiness, when the Spirit touches you and helps you feel good and know that everything is going to be okay.

It never ceases to amaze me how mature my kids are.  That Isaac asked me what peace was and then took that prayer VERY SERIOUSLY!

Each prayer also touched me.

Isaac: Please bless that TJ will be okay and won't be sick anymore and that Shaylee will have happiness from the Spirit.

Abby: Please bless that TJ will get better and that Shaylee will be happy.  And please bless we can get in our new house and have flowers and horses.

Brianna: Please bless that TJ will get better and that Shaylee will have the peace.

Happiness from the Spirit.  That was Isaac's take-away understanding of peace. And isn't that so fitting?  And as he said it, he was sincere and focused -- no lightness or laughter in his voice like he often has when he's praying.  I guess maybe he feels like daily prayer is a dress-rehearsal or redundant.  But when it counts, he's present.

Abby remembers to ask for our new house and flowers and horses in EVERY prayer!  She is so focused on what she really wants and needs, and she takes it to Heavenly Father in faith every chance she gets.  It is no wonder that we have had miracle after miracle in the timing, signing, and closing of our new house.  Another example from my life of people saying, "It's impossible -- it probably won't happen -- be prepared," and things being POSSIBLE, HAPPENING, and getting prepared being a waste of energy and time. I am SO THANKFUL for that constant pattern in my life.  And that my kids are LEARNING it in theirs as well!

I was very touched and actually started to cry when my little 2-year-old was the only one that simply asked that they be blessed with peace.  I often think she is too little to understand and remember things.  She was the only one who didn't ask.  The only one who didn't jump in on the discussion about peace and clarifying language.  And after the discussion and two prayers from her older siblings, she still simply asked . . . for peace for them.  I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, except that I am amazed by her love.  I am amazed by her simple understanding.  I am amazed that she remembered and . . . obeyed isn't the right word, but something along those lines.  And I was amazed at her focused, humble, quiet, reverent tone. 

I love my children.  I am so thankful I get to be their mom.

Sunday with Daddy

The kids woke up around 5:30 this morning . . . which was actually 4:30 with the time change.  Isaac woke up Abby, and downstairs they went to take advantage of their new "freedom/talent": turning on the television and Netflix all by themselves.  It was a while before my tired mind cued into what was happening, and I got downstairs to bring them back up and put them in bed.  But Isaac never went back to sleep . . . Abby didn't sleep for long.  Brianna, who had been asleep in our bed since 3:00 with nightmares or who knows what, also woke up.  And Mommy never got back to sleep.

Two hours later, we realized there had ALSO been a time change.  So I went to church by myself; and Dave stayed home to put all the kids down for a nap.

When I got home, I found that NO ONE had slept yet!  Instead, they'd had a Daddy day:

They ate Daddy's homemade pumpkin/raisin muffins.

They read stories.

They learned to take pictures of each other.

They played Memory Match with the Animal Cards.

And they watched Veggie Tales.

It was a fantastic day!  When I got home, I had eyes peering down from the upstairs window and was greeted with huge hugs and bursts of excitement!  Now I know how Dave feels when he comes home every day.

We continued to play games.
And we had lunch.
And we ALL took a nap . . . all except Brianna.

Then Abby woke me up, asking if she could lay with me.  As we cuddled, she told me, "Mommy, did you know that I LOVE that there's a baby in your tummy?  And did you know that the baby in your tummy has a little egg around it to protect it?  Daddy showed us all the babies of the other Mommies in the book.  And they have an egg around them and are floating in water.  And then, they're going to come out of the egg.  Ummmm . . . I'm not exactly sure how they get out of there.  But the doctor takes them out, right Mommy?  And then we get to have a baby BROTHER!  I'm so excited for our new baby!  It's going to be SO CUTE!"  Dave bought a book on babies at D.I. and showed them all the pictures of what is happening inside my tummy!  And Abby is now ALL-KNOWING on all things baby!  Except how the doctor gets it out of there . . . . I think that one's going to remain a mystery for a while! :-)

After we cuddled and talked, we went down and played the matching game with Brianna.  And Daddy and Isaac sat on the sofa and talked and played games on the Tablet.  Until they watched a Living Scriptures DVD while Mommy and Daddy played Scrabble at the kitchen table.

We finished the night with baked sweet potatoes, steamed veggies, and grilled ham - everyone's favorite!

Before we put them to bed, Isaac started saying that there was a big, SCARY ghost in his room.  So Dave told him that tomorrow, for FHE, we are going to make "special necklaces" that keep ghosts away.

And then he said, "I think we need a story tonight.  Who's ready for a story?" This is a nightly tradition in our house - well, most nights at least.  Daddy reads or tells the kids a story before bed.

So they all gathered around to hear Daddy's bedtime story.  It started out, "Once upon a time, there was a man named Feklehump.  He had a wife - with a HUGE belly with a baby in it - and three kids:  One beautiful, sweet little girl with long, golden hair. One handsome little boy who liked to do things his own way.  And one adorable little toddler who was so much fun every time she got really tired.

One day, Feklehump turned into a ghost . . . . -- Um, Melinda?  Where is this story going?  I need a plot."

"I don't know - but it can't be scary or they'll have nightmares all night long.  Make it kind of funny like Casper."

"Oh - okay.  So Feklehump turned into a ghost.  And everyone knows that ghosts are supposed to scare people.  In fact, it's ghost CODE that they have to scare people, right?  And Feklehump was no different.  But he found out really fast that he had a very. serious. problem.  Every time he opened his mouth to scare people, it came out like this . . . ."

Then he took his hands and started to reach towards the terrified kids before suddenly yelling, 'Hahahahahaha!'" as he started to tickle them!

In seconds, fear turned into surprised delight, and they were ROLLING on the floor, laughing.  Abby was laughing that laugh that only comes to little girls when they are OVERtired and can't keep the laughter from coming out, no matter how hard they try.

And that was just the beginning . . . . .

And the ending of a PERFECT day with Daddy!

I Love to See the Temple

A few weekends ago, we took the kids to meet up with my dad and my sister's family to walk through the Brigham City Temple Open House.  It was such a special experience to be able to take them.  I hope their little minds and hearts - which seem to absorb EVERYTHING these days - really took in the Spirit and the joy they felt there.  I am SO THANKFUL we were close enough to attend an Open House before the temple is dedicated. 

One of my favorite quotes from the introduction to the temple that day was by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "I don’t know how to speak of heaven . . .in the traditional, lovely, paradisiacal beauty that we speak of heaven…I wouldn’t know how to speak of heaven without my wife, or my children.  It would not be heaven for me.  Now, you can say that’s wishful thinking, you can say, ‘ Well that’s just because you love each other and you’ve gotten cozy here on earth and you like each other’s company.’ It’s a lot more than that.  There is something eternal in the statement that neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord.  That isn’t just good sociology it’s good theology, it’s eternal" (Holland, Between Heaven and Earth).

I, too, would NOT be in heaven if David and our children were not there with me.  An eternity without them would be an eternity of hell.  I am SO THANKFUL that I don't have to know that misery.  And the hope of it makes me want to live to be worthy of it SO MUCH MORE during my time with them each and every day on this earth.

One of my favorite moments at the Open House was with Isaac.  He couldn't get enough of the 12 Oxen - symbolic of the 12 Tribes of Israel.  When he saw them, he said, "Wow!  Mom - look at that!" And as he stood at the head of the Baptismal Font, he exclaimed, "That is just PERFECT!"  Then he proceeded to explain to me the differences between oxen and cows and bulls and yaks.  I still don't even know how he knows what a yak is, but these ARE my kids who request to watch Animal Atlas and Word Girl on Netflix! LOL!  We had talked about the oxen and looked at pictures online, but I honestly don't remember ANY mention of a yak! :-)

One of my other favorite moments was when we first got there and my sister's little boy, Elliott, asked where his brother, Isaac, was.  With SO MANY girl cousins, I'm SO GLAD these two have each other!  I think they will always be great friends, even more so as the age gap narrows. And since his last visit with the girl cousins on Dave's side of the family ended with him asking in his prayers that they never had to come back again, I'm glad we live close enough that he can enjoy some "boy" time with Elliott.  Just this last weekend when we got together with them, they were making all sorts of animal noises and grunts and growls at the breakfast table.  When we asked them to stop, Elliott said, "But we boys!" LOL!  Already, they're getting each other into trouble! :-)

I LOVE Living in Utah

NEVER thought I would say that.  But I do. Let me count the ways . . .

1. Dave only works FOUR DAYS a week and gets home just 15 minutes later than he did the ENTIRE time we lived in California. AND we are within five miles of any small town we could ever want to live in.  Which means he can also bike to work - and we save about $200 in gas every month.  PLUS we get to have fun family days EVERY WEEK, no extra sacrifice required.  LOVE it!
2. I am NEVER afraid to open my garage door and see huge cockroaches scatter.  And really, even the biggest spider I have killed here was STILL smaller than the smallest cockroach I killed there. I will actually step outside my door without shoes here because I don't have to be prepared for the worst all the time.  And the only thing I'm afraid of the kids finding in the backyard is mud . . . that they made themselves with the sprinkler.  Not a bad trade, if I do say so myself.
3. We live SO CLOSE to so many temples!  Within 30 minutes, we can have a fun family getaway and be home again in the time it would have taken us to GET to the temple in Spokane or Los Angeles.  HUGE blessing!!!  And I may actually get to go to the temple while breastfeeding a baby this time around without having to plan my entire life around it.  I may go by myself, but with four children ages four and under, I am SURE there are worse things than a temple trip all by yourself!
4. The weather here is getting PERFECT for family outings.  We can take the kids walking, hiking, camping, biking, it's PERFECT!  And great as well for an early-morning getaway before the kids wake up.
5. There are so many things you can do in Salt Lake without having to LIVE like you live near a big city.  We have access to all the cultural and social perks that we could ever WANT to take advantage of without having to live in the middle of all of those who want the ones we wouldn't choose.  We can be to the country with cows, horses, farms, barns, and fields within 10 minutes of our house.  Or the city within 30.  Great arrangement!
6. My sister lives close enough that we can get together once a month.  I don't even have to PLAN a trip to her house if I don't want to.  And since I am pretty sure Isaac is FEELING his lack of male cousins, it's great to be around the only one his age for them to grow up together (however long it lasts) and not get ganged upon or left out by all the girls.

So those are my top six.  And with such a FABULOUS top six, do I really NEED any more?

Last Sunday we went for a family trip to the Salt Lake Temple and took pictures of the kids.  We also ran into some friends who have recently moved here from California as well.  So even the difficult time making friends here so far may have just been solved!  Heavenly Father has blessed us SO MUCH.  Our entire family dynamic has changed.  And I am SO THANKFUL for that.  

Natural History Museum - Los Angeles

I set a goal to start writing at least once a week.  That was last week.  But the only thing that really happened this week is we had the stomach flu hit, and that pretty much was our week.  I did get the Styrofoam blocks down for a very fun afternoon, which I'm going to write about and will post pictures of when we get it finished.

HOWEVER, last week we took the kids to the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles.  It was really a fabulous day out, and the first time we've escaped as a family in a long time.  The week before, we had planned on going.  Dave had made eggs for breakfast, with lots of cheese on top, and put it out for the kids to eat while we hurriedly got everyone ready.  And he asked Isaac to take one bite.

Needless to say, we learned our lesson the second time and didn't put him eating ANYTHING as a stipulation on family activities or rewards that we really, really, really want to enjoy with him from that moment on.  After two hours of determined non-compliance, we canceled our trip to Los Angeles.  Or rather postponed it a week.

The kids LOVED it!  There was some confusion over all the animals that weren't moving (I still don't think they got it, thankfully).  But they were in heaven time and time again as they looked at, sat in front of, tried to play with, and otherwise were just really excited about the day.  At one point, Isaac walked over to a bench, pulled it up to an exhibit, and just sat and studied it.  I went over and asked if I could sit by him and he said, "Sure, Mom," and then turned his attention right back to the beavers, as if I wasn't even there and he was watching the most interesting thing in the world.  So I started to talk to him about how amazing the beavers were and how they used their teeth and tails to build the dams.  That was just one of many such moments, and all in all it was just a perfect day!  My kids LOVE animals!  They are fascinated by them and ask so many grown-up questions it leaves me needing to know more just to keep up (like the argument that went on for I don't know how long about whether the Killer Whale is a Killer Whale or an Orca -- and Abby would NOT let up on the fact that it is an ORCA and NOT a Killer Whale "Right, Mom?"  I tried to say it was both, but that was not acceptable -- it just HAD to be one or the other, and it WAS an Orca!)

Brianna fell in love with this little turtle statue the kids could sit on.  She kept taking my hand and leading me back to it over and over again.  And when I was distracted by the kids and couldn't find Brianna anywhere -- I looked at the turtle and there she was, grinning proudly and waving at me!  We left the room it was in, but 30 minutes later when she saw we were nearing it again, she started crying again and pointing and pulling my hand back to the room where the turtle was!  It's the small things, right?

The other high point of that trip was the dinosaur show we had gone down there to see in the first place.  Two recordable moments happened during that show:

After about five minutes, Abby looked at me and said, with a VERY furrowed brow and confused expression,  "Mom - um I think that's actually NOT a dinosaur!" At almost the same moment, a terrified Isaac, who had been asking to leave from the moment we told him the dinosaurs were coming and literally cried in fright when the baby t-rex entered the stage, looked at Dave with an almost angry expression and said, "Dad!  That's not a dinosaur!  That's just a PEOPLE!"

A few minutes later, Abby asked me if she could PLEASE go and pet the baby dinosaur.  I told her that we had to sit where we were, we couldn't go and touch him.  Then the lady asked for a volunteer and picked an older girl in the front row.  Abby's eyes were literally dancing in anticipation as she watched the girl stand up to pet the baby T-Rex.  Then the host said to the volunteer, "Oh, I think he likes you!"  Abby turned to me, the biggest smile on her face, and said, "Mom, I think he would really like me, too!"  I smiled and said, "You're probably right, Ab!"  She got really serious and turned my face to her and said, "No, MOM!  He would REALLY LOVE ME!"

I don't think it's possible that a child could love animals more than these kids do! 

Christmas Time is HERE!

The second big event I am updating on was CHRISTMAS!!!  How can you NOT write about Christmas?  We spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas by ourselves this year.  And it was SO FUN to see Abby and Isaac BLOSSOM through this holiday!  Their eyes glowed at every thought of every aspect of the season!  Santa, reindeer, snowmen on t.v., Christmas lights, Christmas music/songs (Brianna sings Jingle Bells more clearly and often than anything else -- Isaac uses it to annoy us at the top of his lungs whenever he wants to get a point across or feels ignored), cookies and candy-making, caroling to friends and neighbors, you name it!  And we tried really hard to give them opportunities to give and to thank and to celebrate . . . and to get really excited about Christmas coming!!!!  We didn't put any presents out because they ALL would have been opened if we had.  So you would pretty much convince a rattlesnake to give you his fangs before you could convince Abby or Isaac that SANTA didn't bring them ALL of their Christmas presents.  Brianna was oh so cute as well!  Oh - boy!  That is an understatement!  How did I get the cutest kids in the world?  How indeed, indeed, indeed!  Without too much detail, here's the breakdown:

Isaac: Isaac started the season by telling Santa (and everyone who would listen) that he wanted a dinosaur for Christmas.  He proudly announced it on Santa's lap at the ward party and then repeated to everyone who asked that Santa was bringing him a T-Rex for Christmas! One morning as the girls were asleep and we were cuddled on the floor watching Toy Story 3, Isaac watched the final scene with the little girl wanting Woody.  He told me, "He doesn't share very well." I explained it was hard because he really loved Woody.  Isaac said, "Know what he should REALLY DO, Mom?  Trade her.  He should get the dinosaur back and just let her HAVE Woody!"  His expression was saying, "This boy is CRAZY!  He just gave up the DINOSAUR for that silly COWBOY?!?!!? Doesn't he know ANYTHING?!??!?!"  The problem: We bought him a Melissa and Doug Train Set for Christmas -- on a super, duper Groupon coupon sale that could NOT be returned.  So I went to Toys R Us on Christmas Eve to find him a dinosaur of some sort -- to NO avail (without going WAY over budget, anyway).  Fortunately for me, Daddy had gone to the Dollar Store and bought a T-Rex for our little boy.  Isaac saw it in his stocking as soon as he walked down the hall, yelled, "Santa got me a T-Rex!!!" and was M.I.A. for the rest of the day (week) with that thing.  Good thing we spent so much money on the train set!


Abby: Abby told Santa she was getting a horsey!  And her heart was set on it.  After a LOT of research and some help from some horse-loving friends on Facebook (and finding out that my mom got her a My Little Pony Mother/Daughters play set), we got her a 20" horse that was on sale at Target.  And the 18" doll that was on Clearance to go with it.  And she LOVED it!  Absolutely loved it!


Brianna: Oh our sweet Brianna!  Two years ago, we bought a cabbage patch doll for Abby on a SUPER Black Friday sale.  Two years later, we gave it to Brianna.  Skeptically, because Abby never really latched onto her baby doll from Dave's mom and I didn't know if Brianna would like dolls either.  WERE WE EVER WRONG IN OUR SKEPTICISM!!!  Bria LOVED that little baby -- she hugged it and kissed it and put it down and quickly picked it back up.  Then she handed it to me to give it hugs and kisses and smiled, bowing her head in approval, before eagerly taking it back from me and giving it more hugs and kisses.  And then she didn't let it out of her sight!  Until, that is, Abby opened her doll and Bria decided that Abby's doll was . . . better? prettier? simply Abby's doll? . . . who's to say?  But after Abby pitched a fit and we got the correct doll to the correct owner again, she was still happy.  She also got an 18" plush rocking horse that makes noises and sings galloping songs.  She was a VERY HAPPY almost 15-month-old girl!  


We have a Christmas Tradition in our family: Each person gets three gifts, like the gifts of the wise men.  They get an ornament that represents something about or from the year.  They get a book -- we LOVE books and any excuse to gift and read them.  And they get a toy.  In their stockings, they get an orange and something else.  This year the something else was a coloring book and crayons.


The ornaments we got them this year:
Isaac got a picture-holder train.  Up until the dinosaur, I PROMISE he was LOVING his trains!  But more than that, the train for him is all things boy and adventures.  He is ALL boy!  And he has the most imaginative and creative and adventurous mind.  I'm going to start keeping better record of where that mind takes him (them, really) this year because between the two of them . . . I just might have all the material I need for that children's book series I have always wanted to write.  So our little adventurous boy got a train ornament for Christmas.


Abby got a picture-holder wreath made out of buttons.  This was a very tender ornament for me to find.  Because Abby has truly been - many, many times - the buttons that held things together for me this year.  She is the sweetest little girl!  She will often find me upset about something and quickly smile at me and say, "But Mommy, we HAPPY!"  She loves to play with Brianna and is so soft and tender with her.  I can put them in Abby's room for hours and never worry about Brianna being played with and loved and taken care of.  She is a little mother to Isaac, giving him love even when he is in trouble and needs some tough love for a minute.  And she is fiercely loyal to and defensive of him in those moments.  When she is making bad choices, all I have to do is look at her and tell her in a soft voice that that's not a good choice, and she almost always calms right down and apologizes.  And when my ALL BOY three-year old is tearing me apart at the seams, many times Abby comes right along and buttons me back up until I can pull the threads back together.  She blesses ALL of us that way!


Brianna got a picture-holder angel.  She is truly our little angel!  I was TERRIFIED to have another baby with the twins still so young.  And when Dave got sick just after she was born, I was even more terrified.  2011 was a difficult year!  And God sent us the PERFECT spirit to experience it with us without breaking us.  She is so even-tempered, so slow to anger, so quiet, so peaceful, so cute, so cuddly, so sweet, so full of laughter and music and dancing and all things JOY!  She balances out and adds to each and every one of our lives and, for that, has truly been our little angel sent from Heaven to move our family one step closer to Him!

Picture This . . .

No camera for these moments, but a few memories I don't want to forget:

*Tonight at our church Christmas Party, Dave told the kids they had to have ONE BITE of all of the food on their plates: ham, potatoes, green beans, and a roll.  Only THEN could they have a cookie.  Isaac took a bite of the ham.  And a few more.  He tried a bite of the beans.  And one was enough.  Then the potatoes.  One bite was all, friends -- just one small bite.

Fast forward AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER!  The band had played, the crowd had sung, Santa had circled the gym on a skateboard with lights on it, and all the while . . . there sat Isaac, completely silent, refusing to swallow that ONE BITE of potatoes.  And Daddy determined it was a battle of the wills that Isaac was NOT going to win.

We tried everything -- "Isaac, here hold the cookie - all you have to do is swallow the potatoes and you can eat the cookie!" (He tried stuffing the cookie in beside the potatoes in his mouth -- but it didn't work very well, so he just held it!)  When Santa left the room, "Isaac - hurry and swallow your potatoes so you can talk to Santa!  You can't talk to Santa and get candy if your mouth is full!"  Nothing!  He just looked at us, taking it all in.  A young man in the ward gave him a box of nerds.  Again, he tried really hard to fit them in next to the potatoes.  But again, he sat and listened to all the prods to just SWALLOW the potatoes and quietly shook his head.  Dave said, "Well - I guess we have found a solution to the days when he is so loud we need an off button."  I said, "I think you should just take him to the bathroom and let him spit it out!"  But he wasn't "giving in." As we waited in line to see Santa, someone tried to get him to swallow by making it a competition, see who could swallow first.  Isaac just stared and did nothing.

Then, just as we got to the door, Isaac threw his head forward and spit those potatoes all over the floor!  I don't think it was intentional -- he was covered and looked pretty flustered by it all.  I think Abby started to faint because I heard someone say, "No - Abby! Don't touch!" and I turned to find her falling on her knees almost RIGHT IN the mess on the floor - which she would NEVER intentionally do because she HATES being dirty.  I handed Brianna off and went to clean Isaac up as Dave dashed to the bathroom for paper towels to clean up the mess.

In the bathroom, I said, "Isaac! Why did you spit the potatoes all over the floor - why didn't you just SWALLOW them?"  He said, "Because I wanted to talk to Santa!"  I guess he was listening after all . . . . And you have NEVER heard a more proud and excited boy than the one who ran up and climbed up on Santa's lap and told him that he wanted DINOSAURS for Christmas.  He talked about it the whole way home - that he sat on Santa's lap and talked to Santa and got candy!

And, I might add, beat Daddy in the battle of the wills!  Who learned a lesson tonight?

Two other memories I need to record:
* I walked into the kitchen to make dinner only to find Brianna . . . sitting in a pile of broken glass and salsa!  YIKES!  Fortunately we grabbed her, discovered the blood all over my arm was just from a small cut on her right hand, and got her into the bath before more damage was done.  Tender, tender mercies!  With the size and the extent of the shattered glass, it could have been much, MUCH worse!

* I was changing Brianna's diaper, and she started to just cry and scream and wiggle away from me.  Abby and Isaac came and knelt beside her, and Abby started stroking her hair and saying, "It's okay, Bria!"  Then Isaac took her hand and kissed it and Abby started to sing "I Am a Child of God" to her while I finished.  She calmed right down.  I LOVE how tender my twins are sometimes!

Careful the Things You Say

Wowzer - has it been a LONG time since I posted ANYTHING about our family.  Shame. on. me. for getting so far behind.

First a couple of updates:
~ Brianna said her first prayer!  We were kneeling together as a family when suddenly I realized that she had just "hummed" a prayer with a few syllables added in for effect.  But the intonations were right on, right down to the drawn-out, "A-MEN!"  When we tell her to say her prayers, we usually keep it simple - to thank you, I love you, Amen.  So -- that was a FUN night!
~ Isaac has a few new Isaac-isms.  For one, he has started randomly stopping us during the day or night or whatever and saying, "Mom?" "Yes, Isaac?" "You know I love you the whole world?" "I love you, too, Isaac." "Yeah. I know."  He sounds so disinterested at that moment it is almost laughable!  Another favorite is he has started saying, "Don't freak out" or "Just don't freak out" in random conversation, in answer to unrelated questions, or just when he is playing with his sisters.  And it makes me laugh every single time.  I have even been prone to asking him multiple questions just to keep getting his answer in the same disinterested tone of voice he throws out there sometimes.
~ Abby has started really noticing everyone and everything -- and is sure to correct everyone when they do something that is "a bad choice" (including mom and dad).  She is one of those children I can count on to ALWAYS tell me the truth - even if she's in trouble for whatever it is she admits to.  And she has the most tender heart.  The other day while Isaac was sleeping, Brianna woke up and I took her into Abby's room to play quietly with her while Isaac finished his nap.  I said, 'Abby - Brianna wants to play with you!"  She got a really excited look on her face and said, "Mommy - and you want to play with me, too?"  I almost cried!  And absolutely went in to play with her!  Abby is totally and completely potty trained.  She'll even wake up sometimes to go potty and can be in a diaper all day and never go potty in it once!  She's pretty serious about it, actually, and pretty defiant when you even suggest that she went potty in her diaper.

And now for something I have really been thinking about lately.

I love words!  Love words!  Can you tell from reading my blog?  I am overly verbose to a fault, so much so that you might not guess how many times I thoughtfully review anything and everything I write before I post it for public eyes.  Sometimes I just write -- but I am also prone to censoring myself and editing myself to make sure I have not left any room for doubt or even criticism.  Not that that's entirely possible because I'm way more human than I like to admit and as imperfect as they come.  But I DO TRY.  I have been that way for longer than I can remember.

I would like to say that I do that because I don't want to offend.  But I think the bigger truth is that I don't want to be judged - to have something written that I can't take back, that might paint a negative (real) picture of me that I don't want other people to have or something that captures a time and a thought and a process in my life that even I don't want to remember.  Because I am -- totally and completely human and imperfect on even my best days.  On my mission, one of my companions called me on it and told me that I wasn't perfect.  I angrily told her that I KNEW I wasn't perfect, to which she calmly and lovingly replied, "Yes. But you don't accept it.  And therefore it keeps you from fully accepting the atonement of Christ for YOUR imperfections."

That hurt.  But it was a good hurt.

I have had many moments where my children bring this back to my attention -- how imperfect I am, that they are catching and ABSORBING everything I do, everything I say.  This came to me full-force this last weekend when I caught MYSELF saying that the kids were "freaking out" and it was driving me crazy.  I realized that "I" was the source of Isaac's new favorite phrase.  And it made me wonder how many times I had used it.  And what else I had said that he had been picking up on in pieces and would soon have so ingrained in his mind that it would become HIS phrase, HIS action, HIS attitude.  It was a sobering, sobering thought.

In the midst of this thought, I had an experience with a friend who posted a comment in a Facebook group and was completely ripped to shreds for her comment/opinion.  The aftermath was a twist and turn of events that got worse and worse as pieces were added and taken away from it.  But the context of that conversation left me pondering as much as the conversation itself.  A 14-year-old girl took her life this last weekend - and changed a family and community forever.

It took me back to a funeral I attended not long ago of a man I revered and admired in every possible way.  He had also taken his own life.  And the feelings surrounding that were difficult to grasp.  But the wise Stake President (church leader) who spoke at the funeral service shared a quote about how the battles raging in the quiet rooms of mens hearts are the greatest battles raging anywhere.  It was more eloquent than that, so I ask your forgiveness for not knowing or being able to locate the source and actual quote.  But I know that is a very true principle.  We do not, cannot, will not have the capacity to see into the great battles men and women fight inside their minds and hearts every single day.  And some people - myself included so many times in the last few years - are literally fighting every single day for their very souls, for their very lives, for every breath and step they take in a world that may never even know those battles exist or its effect on them.

So let me try and tie a bow on these jumbled and seemingly disconnected thoughts.

A song that has impacted me deeply from the moment I heard it is from the musical "Into the Woods."  There are MANY thought-provoking songs and one-liners in that musical, and it is very worth the time to watch it if you have no idea what I am talking about.  But there is one song that resonated in my soul, moved me to tears, and even gave me nightmares from the first time I heard it.

Careful the things you say, Children will listen.
Careful the things you do, Children will see. And learn.
Children may not obey, But children will listen.
Children will look to you For which way to turn, To learn what to be.
Careful before you say, "Listen to me." Children will listen.

Careful the wish you make, Wishes are children.
Careful the path they take-Wishes come true, Not free.

Careful the spell you cast, Not just on children.
Sometimes the spell may last Past what you see, And turn against you...

Careful the tale you tell. That is the spell.
Children will listen...


Though I would NEVER put another person's choices at the feet of those around them, I do think that every day of life we are given to live can be such a great gift to ourselves, our spouses, our children, our friends, our associates.  LIFE can be such a great gift.  And such a great opportunity. An opportunity to respect, to forgive, to build, to elevate, to encourage, to flood . . . with love. An opportunity to suspend harsh judgments, to suspend criticism and unkind words, to suspend doubt and fear, to suspend an expectation of perfection that no one can EVER live up to, not even those expecting it of themselves and others.  An opportunity to BE REAL about being real and give other people permission to be and do the same without fearing judgments and unrealistic expectations that set them up for failure every. single. time.  Our children are listening . . . and learning . . . and becoming TODAY! And the best news of all -- the very best news of all -- is that we are given a new day every day to be a little bit better than we were the day before. So I commit to you that I will try to use it more wisely -- and make today and every day, with all of my imperfections, a GIFT!

In the Still of the Night

It has been such a long - LONG - time since I wrote anything.  It all started with my mom, sister, and niece being here from Idaho! 

We went to the San Diego Zoo's Safari Park, an island near San Diego (Carlsbad?  I'll have to check - it was definitely unforgettable and worth recording), and Disneyland to celebrate the twins' THIRD birthday BEFORE they were actually three and we had to pay to celebrate it there with them. (Incidentally - if you ever go, check Craigslist for tickets!  We got two adult Park Hopper tickets for $100 - and an evening and night at Disneyland is TOTALLY worth $100. I mean, you'll pay $50 just for dinner for two at a fancy restaurant these days!!!  The parade and fireworks and night show on the lake, the Casey Junior ride with all the little model towns lit up, the night lights on the town and the gorgeous buildings -- all AMAZINGLY magical! And if you have a chance to go with someone who is handicapped, even better!  We got to go through a special line and rarely had to wait more than FIVE MINUTES for EVERY ride!  In fact, I don't think I'll ever go there again without my mom . . . . or I'll just rent a wheelchair and strap on my "boot" from my foot surgery and enjoy!  Just kidding . . . sort of! ;-D  But in all seriousness, hats off to Disneyland because it was such great fun watching my mom RIDE THE RIDES with my kids -- and that is something she would have NEVER been able to do if we'd had to fight through traffic and crowds with her!)

We made these AWESOME Family Home Evening boards.  I'll have to post pictures later, but since I've wanted a Family Home Evening Board for the last THREE YEARS, it was that much greater to put our noses to the grindstone and our pedals to the medal to drive around for FOUR days, through FOUR towns until we got JUST the right accessories to do everything JUST the way we wanted it.  (Incidentally, since you might not know what an FHE Board is: think job chart where you rotate assignments, except it's for fun things -- song, scripture, prayer, activity, treat -- these are the things we include in our once a week family night that is just that - a NIGHT set aside for the family to have some quality, focused, fun-filled time together!)  And since I have my other sister for Christmas - she got an early Christmas present and now has one as well!

A few days after my family went home, Dave's family flew/drove down to have a long weekend with us as well.  And what was supposed to be another fun-filled weekend turned into an IMMENSE tender mercy and testimony of how aware God is of the SMALLEST DETAILS of our lives, preparing the way even before we know a way needs prepared!  Isaac was sick, so I kept he and Brianna home with me while Dave drove down to pick his sister up at the airport to drive over and meet his brother and sister-in-law for dinner.  His sister-in-law had been in Los Angeles for the month to spend time with her family while her husband - Anson - was finishing his tour in Afghanistan.  WHILE THEY WERE EATING DINNER WITH MINIE, she got a Facebook message that said, "I heard about Anson - I am so sorry!  Let me know if you need anything."  She had NOT heard about Anson.  And when she made calls, she was told that there was an accident but he was fine - just a few minor scrapes and bruises.  So they continued to have a fun-filled night.  But when they got back to Lancaster, his sister said that she just didn't have a good feeling about it.  At 6:00 the next morning, we got a call from their mom that Anson had been hit by a grenade and was in a coma, on his way to a hospital in Germany.  And that news began an intensely emotional roller coaster of a weekend that ended with Anson being flown from Germany to Bethesda, MD to the Naval Hospital there.  It has been a long row to hoe.  Most of Dave's family has flown back there to see him.  Dave and I couldn't afford to fly there with the kids, so we took some time and went and spent a few days with Dave's dad while we all waited to see what would happen with him.  It soon became clear that he would be in a coma for a long time and there would be complications, infections, blood transfusions, etc. along the way that would and continues to make it a difficult journey. 

And through it all what continues to shine through is our faith!  And knowing that from the beginning (incidentally, the accident happened almost EXACTLY at the moment that Dave was picking his sister up from the airport to go over and have dinner with Minie - and Dave's other sister had decided the NIGHT BEFORE to also fly down and spend the weekend with us), God was in the details!  Dave's family NEVER gets together!  NE-VER!  And Anson's family lives in Louisiana.  So to have five out of the seven kids accounted for when he was injured was pretty miraculous!  The support, the love, the coming together, the laughter over tears, the tears over tears, the prayers as we knelt together, the fasting together that Sunday morning, the last-minute flights and travel plans, the offers to take care of their children while Minie was with him, just EVERY SINGLE DETAIL and EVERY MOMENT OF FAITH AND HOPE AND LOVE were obvious love notes from a very aware and loving Heavenly Father to His children.  As was the incredible blessing of modern technology as we were able to spread the news quickly to so many people and begin immediately to receive added prayers and support and love from friends and strangers alike!  It has been a MOST humbling experience!

The twins turned THREE on Monday!  Since we had already spent a lot of money on Disneyland, we had a simple birthday party here.  We got a discounted cheesecake sampler and the cheap a la cheap strawberry ice cream from WalMart.  And we picked up Dora and Diego toothbrushes so they would have something to open!  They were so thrilled!!!!  Then their nursery teacher, Sister Black, came over and brought them magnetic trains and coloring packets.  Nursery leaders are the BEST!!! You'd think she plays with them for two hours every Sunday and knows what they like or something!  Isaac didn't put that train down!  They even snuck it into the bathtub that night (and I learned why they had been playing so contently for over an hour and a half)!  And he sleeps with it and would eat with it if toys were allowed at the table!  It was great, great fun!  And I am amazed and humbled that they are getting SO BIG, SO FAST!!!  Tonight Abby asked me what I was looking at.  When I told her I was looking for recipes, she said, "You're looking at recipes?  Oh.  That's cool."  And when Isaac tells me, "Mommy - please don't spank my bottom.  That not very nice!  That make me sad!"  I realize over and over how GROWN up my kids are!  It's been fast and furious, but I really would not change a moment!  And I pray every night that I get to enjoy a lifetime more with them!

Also on Monday, my nephew Jared, who has had seizures for years, went through some pretty intense testing to see if they can do surgery to stop the seizures.  The family took turns sitting with him - he couldn't be left alone for a single minute for like three days of testing - and in the end, we are hopeful they were able to get some good information and a better solution for him and his family is very near!!!  I am amazed at the strength of his family and thankful that my family always pulls together, however they can!

We went to Dave's work for family day the Friday before the twins' birthday.  It is the only day you are allowed past the security gates and locks.  We got to see really cool airplanes, including the one Dave has been involved in testing.  And they had a barbeque and shaved ice and a giant blown-up trampoline with an attached slide!  The kids LOVED it!  And Dave said they ordered the 108 degree weather just for us to appreciate what they go through out there in the desert where it is ALWAYS hotter than we get here . . . in the desert! Whatever!  I know he planned it just to have something to complain about and try to get me to feel sorry for him.  Total manipulation at it's worst! ;-D

And yesterday we took the kids to the fair!  They actually handled it pretty well when we told them we didn't have money for the taunting rides and souvenirs.  But they didn't handle it so well when we pulled them away from the animals in the animal barns!  Abby had a meltdown every time!  They LOVED the goats and sheep and chickens and turkeys and chicks and ducks and rabbits and -- oh the excitement when Abby saw a "MAMA!  Mommy, Mommy, it's a MAMA" (llama) in the petting zoo!  She would NOT leave its side for more than a few seconds before she was looking everywhere to find where it had walked away to!  And by not leave its side, I mean she literally had her hand on its side, patting it reassuringly as she moved wherever it did!  Brianna would whip around me from side to side, eyes and mouth wide open when an animal would walk past us or try to eat my clothes in search of food!  Though she was never sure enough to pet them more than a few pats, she was still incredibly intrigued!  Isaac was equally intrigued but demonstrated it differently.  Like when he pulled the already angry turkey's tail feathers just minutes after I had pulled him AWAY from the practically hissing bird.  Or when he walked right up to the potbelly pigs in the petting zoo, contently sleeping lazily on the side of the fence, and pushed them so hard they actually started to ROLL OVER before I snatched him back (and the roley poley animals rolled right back to their original places)!  I managed to keep his fingers out of the bird cages, but it was incredibly hard when the ducks encouraged him by quacking BACK when he quacked in their faces!  They both wanted to jump on the goats' backs and ride them -- I mean, who wouldn't?  That's what you do, right?  And I was certain we were going to have a few toddlers overboard in the fountain/wishing well!  Add in the sheep roundup with the sheep dogs and I think you can begin to imagine how much FUN our night at the fair was!

Tonight we played a game of Dora the Explorer's Candy Land.  Abby is great at games!  It is so much fun!  Isaac doesn't have the same zeal/attention span for it! But it's still really fun to actually be SITTING DOWN TOGETHER as a family and playing games!  We also have a little hummingbird that has popped up in the last few weeks and likes to fly in front of my kitchen window!  I'll have to see if I can find a reasonably-priced feeder to bring it back!  That would be a fun thing to watch with the kids every day.

In the meantime, Brianna is literally walking CIRCLES around everything and every room!  Seriously she is so proud that she can walk that every time we applaud her - still a bit surprised to see her everywhere and into everything - she gets a proud smile and starts walking in circles, like she's showing off on just how WELL she really IS doing!  She loves it!  And tonight she sat at the table with ALL of us for dinner - no tray between her and the family!  She is saying a few words very clearly, like when she calls for Daddy ("DA!") or shouts "HI!" as she waves to anyone lucky enough to be within range!  Of course she says "Ma-muh - Ma-muh!" and tonight even started saying, "Na-nuh" for night-night!  She has two front teeth and is incredibly adventurous!  And more than once we caught her dancing away on top of Dave's shoulders as we heard music while walking around the fair.  I've just started weaning her, and she loves to drink water from her cup (we're still working on milk -- the weaning from mom process has been a little hard for her, for both of us really as it has gone a lot more quickly than I intended because my milk took the first cue and headed south for the winter).  And she is really the sweetest little angel with the most amazing laugh and contagious smile!  She also sings a LOT!  The most recognizable is "E-I-E-I-O!"  And she LOVES to play with and around the kids.  Tonight Isaac was tackling her and pulling her and patting her head and even trying to ride her!  And through it all, she was as gleeful and giggly as could be!

As for Dave and I -- the other night he told me how much he has realized in the last few weeks that he REALLY WANTS TO DATE ME!  So I guess you could say we're doing pretty good! ;-D  With Brianna weaning from me and this sudden realization after three and a half years that we like each other enough to "date" - life is great! :-)

It is late, but I couldn't let another week go by without updating.  It has been a fast and furious few months.  But life is too short to let those moments go by as just moments!  And if anything were to happen to any of us, we would ALL treasure more than anything the fact that we have even these vague notes to go back to and learn and grow and remember!  And that is priceless!

And if you've stayed with me to the end of this update from the last few months, you get a gold medal!!!  Or at least a gold star of appreciation.  I mean, THAT is true friendship! :-)  And you can never have enough such friends!  Thank you!

Tender Hearts

A dear friend in our ward passed away on Friday.  She had an aneurism and swelling on the brain.  She woke up Friday morning with a headache and numbness.  Her parents gave her pain medication and told her to lay down.  Her mom went to run errands.  She went to the bathroom.  She had a stroke and went into a coma.  Her dad broke into the bathroom to get her when she didn't answer him.  They called 911, the hospital tried to relieve the swelling and bring her out of the coma, but she never came out of it.  She passed away that night.  It was incredibly unexpected and another heartbreaking death for all who knew her.

I realize after writing all of that how incredibly heartless and factual and empty it sounds.  It doesn't do justice

So in the midst of all of it, I decided I need to do better about documenting the small things, not letting life pass by and having a record of the moments that make us smile and during which our lives are changing in the process of this journey.

The other day, I was making something in the kitchen.  I must have dropped something or something because I suddenly heard Isaac let out a sigh of disgust and say, "My Atlanta! Ugh!" I turned to see him shaking his head in disgust before walking away.  Careful the things you say!  Children will listen. And learn.

The other night before family prayer, we were reading the scriptures and trying to put the stories in context for the kids.  Suddenly Isaac got really serious and climbed on my lap and said, "But, Mommy! Where the scriptures come from?"  I said, "What?"  And he repeated it.  He really wanted to know where the scriptures had come from.  And we had a talk about prophets and how Heavenly Father teaches us.  Is he really two?

We made dinner and cookies for the Mohun family (it's their daughter Chloe who passed away suddenly).  I decided to make peanut blossom cookies because we had some Hershey Kisses from Easter Candy sales in our freezer.  I got the twins to help me by having them unwrap all the chocolates.  But I explained to them that they couldn't eat the chocolate because we were taking it to Chloe's family because they were sad that Chloe had gone to live with Heavenly Father for a while.  Off we went on our cookie-making journey.  Suddenly, I heard Abby say, "No, ISAAC! No eat the chocolate - it for family!" And I glanced over my shoulder to see Isaac popping a chocolate in his mouth and Abby very lovingly unwrapping the one in her hand.  I told him that Abby was right and reminded him that we were making cookies to serve them a little and show them we love them.  Then I told Abby she could go ahead and eat a chocolate, too.  She said, "No thank you, Mommy!  It for Chloe family - I no need it."  Be still my heart!

And last but not least, our nine-month-old Brianna has taken her FIRST steps and throws a fit if I don't give her a sippy cup just like Abby and Isaac have.  She is so big and such a joy in our family every day.  She watches everything they do and imitates it as much as her little body allows her to.  And I am sure in her mind, she is already up and running right along with them, wherever they go.  Already the thinks they are playing tag when she is crawling down the hallway and they come running towards her!  She giggles and turns as fast as she can and starts crawling away from them, them passing her up almost before she even gets turned around and moving again.  And about that time, they've turned around and are heading back her direction -- repeat the giggles of delight and fast turn around to "run" away from them!  It really is so much fun just watching and listening to them as they are starting to learn they can play with her and discovering the joy of making her laugh, without really realizing what they are doing that is causing it! 

Life's Important Lessons

There are a few things we try every day to teach our kids.  To say please and thank you. Not to hit. Not to take things that aren't yours, or even things that are yours when someone else is playing with them at the time.  Tantrums are never okay - using words and explaining your feelings is always more effective.  Sometimes it's okay to simply say you are sad and sometimes you just need to ask for a hug or to be held or cuddled. Naps aren't just for when it's dark.  Time out isn't always fun but is sometimes very necessary. Grown-ups don't always do things right and sometimes require as much patience and forgiveness as children.  You should say I'm sorry when you hurt someone, even if it is an accident or they are just tired and having a hard time.  When someone says I'm sorry you should accept it graciously, with a hug of course.

And then there are the fun lessons like yesterday when I taught the kids how to eat ice cream out of an ice cream cone the RIGHT way: by biting off the bottom and sucking it through, of course.

And tonight, well - when you are wearing white and still learning to eat, you should take off your white shirt before eating a burgundy popsicle.  And there's always time to do TWO fun things at once - like eating popsicles while playing with toy ambulances. And when learning to stand/walk, it is always nice to have something constant, steady, and immovable to hold onto. Lessons learned.

Father's Day Preview

We took pictures of the kids to send a picture to our dads for Father's Day.  Here are just a few of them!  We're still playing with a few others.  So Orlan - Nique - anyone else - don't tell Dad! ;-D  Everyone else, now you can't say I never post pictures! ;-D  And there are a few things we learn from this: 1) We know how to have fun doing things that really aren't that fun. OR 2) They have one Hil-LAR-iouS mom!  Either way, the gift of laughter is alive and well in the Chaffee house!  And I'm LOV-in' it!

Out of Reach and Within the Lines - The Ever-Developing Minds of Two-Year-Olds

Isaac and Abby LOVE their toy animals.  And by toy animals, I mean expensive figurines that Great-Grandma Larson just HAD to buy them for their birthday last year and even sent them home with more every time we visited.  This last trip home, after Great-Grandma Larson passed away, Grandma White bought them a set of baby animals.  And what used to be Isaac's thing (playing with them for hours on end) turned into Abby's thing.  She loves to match up the families and will even corral them in so they are all facing the center in a nice circle, huddled together for safety or company or whatever else her little mind makes up. 

For Christmas last year, Dave's brother bought them a horse lego set.  And man did Abby FALL IN LOVE with that set!  She cannot get enough of her Hu, Hu, Forseys (she has a hard time saying horsey, but we keep practicing - and she's getting better)!

So in the last few weeks, she has developed quite the fascination with the baby animal horse that is brown just like the "Mommy Forsey" from her Leggo set.  Problem: There is one brown colt from Great-Grandma Larson and one black colt from Grandma White.  And the Lego horsey is BROWN.  You see where I'm going here, right?  So she HAS to have the brown baby horsey to have a complete FAMILY of horses in the corral.  And that would be okay if the black colt weren't just a little bit bigger than the brown colt and, therefore, the ONLY acceptable baby horse for BOTH of the twins.  I have taken both colts away on more than one occasion because they couldn't stop fighting over them and would NOT take turns playing with the brown baby horsey.

Today Isaac innocently walked into the office where I was editing some pictures.  He handed me an almost empty wet wipe tub.  He said, "Mommy - please put up!" and pointed to the TOP of the bookcase.  I was confused.  I said, "You want me to put the wet wipe container up here?" and pointed to the top of the bookcase.  "Uh-huh. Yeah."  I took it from him and looked inside en route to the top shelf.  There I saw two wet wipes wrapped around and over one baby brown colt.  I was amused but still complied with his wishes to put the "empty" container up. 

As soon as I had it on top of the bookshelf and said, "There you go, Buddy!  It's up!" he got the most satisfied look on his face.  He looked toward the office door and said, "Mommy!  Now Abby no get horsey!" HA!  Wow the thought process that must have led up to that one!

And not to leave Abby out of today's post . . . . My little girl is growing up just as quickly and is so incredibly SMART right alongside her brother!!!  We went on a date last night - the first since our anniversary in December (except for the adult session of Stake Conference, which doesn't really count).  I laid out coloring books and the matching game and books to read and showed the babysitter their toys and plugged in the "broken" television in case she ran out of ideas.  They colored for a while, then played, then watched Dora and Diego.  And I noticed when I came home that the sitter had sat down and colored WITH them because a portion of the pages were very neatly filled in, within the lines of the images they were coloring.

Tonight as I made dinner, Abby sat at the table coloring.  When I went over to see how she was doing, I saw that she was very focused, coloring as carefully as she could in tiny little scribbles so she could stay WITHIN the lines!  And she did a fabulous job!  And I don't know why looking at and thinking of that beautiful coloring job has brought tears to my eyes all night long.  But it has!  It still is! I'll have to post a scan of it!  You would be proud, too!

And Brianna stood without holding onto anything for a few seconds and even took a few shuffles forward with the bus filled with blocks that Great-Grandma Larson got for the twins for their birthday last year. She'll be walking by the end of the month, mark my words!  That is one DETERMINED little girl!  I LOVE it!

Sheesh - all this talk of things from Great-Grandma Larson is making me wonder if they're going to have any presents to open next year now that she's gone!  I'll buy one from you, Grandma!  I'll wrap it and take a picture for you, too!  Thank you for doing such a FANTASTIC job of loving my children while you were alive!  I miss you!

Today

Today was better than yesterday.  And yesterday was better than the day before that.  With two "better than" days, I have high hopes for tomorrow!

Today I played with my kids.  I had tickle fights with Isaac and Brianna on my bed.  I swung Abby and Isaac around and around and around in the kitchen.  Then I held them like airplanes and did it again . . . and again! And again!

Today we put Brianna in a swing at the park for the first time -- and she LOVED it!

Today we took the kids to the park.  I got a Diet Dr. Pepper.  The family got a Blackberry Milkshake!  Everyone chose the Dr. Pepper over the Milkshake - which was spilled all over the floor under my feet without me realizing it was in the tipped over bag - still almost half full!

Today we had Chicken Fajitas for dinner.  I opted for a carbless one -- meaning I had a Chicken Fajita salad.  Abby ate 1/3 of my salad and asked for more.  Isaac ate Abby's left-over Peanut Butter sandwich from lunch.

Today Brianna crawled giggling away from me as fast as she could as I tried to catch her to change her diaper and get her into bed.  That's the first time we've played "You can't get me, Mommy!"

Today we read It's Raining, It's Pouring - actually, Dave sung it to the kids for their bedtime story.  He doesn't sing.  But somehow his voice was PERFECT for that story! And I wished he would let me get a recording of it for the kids to hear when they can't remember listening to him sing like that before.

Today Abby and Isaac played dinosaur and horsey.  The dinosaurs are scary - they roar and chase you around the house.  The horsey, however, is really nice.  Abby rode Horsey Isaac to storytime.  Then Isaac rode Horsey Abby to find Mommy for prayer. Dave took a picture.  It was HILARIOUS!!!  We were ALL laughing!

Today the kids read stories to me -- stories about creepy crawlies and farm animals and colors and counting.

Today Abby sang with me as we cleaned up the toys in the office - a song she had never heard before.  But she's getting really good at playing sing-along-with-Mommy!

Today Abby told me as she climbed the ladder on the toys at the park that I was too big.  After laughing for a few seconds I asked her if Daddy - who had already climbed the ladder and was waiting for her at the top - was too big.  She gave me that silly-Mom smile and said in her silly-Mom voice, "Oh, Mo-OM!  Daddy not too big!"

Today we had chocolate milk instead of just plain milk.

Today Brianna took a long nap and played with the big kid Leggo blocks!  She even fell on them and cut her head in the form of the circle on top.  But she didn't notice too much after the initial hit.  She's a tough cookie like that.


Today was a good day.  A very, very good day!

Solo Play, Necklaces, and Overhead Lights

I've been a little MIA this week.  There have been a lot of things constantly pulling at my time.  I've been dreaming some big dreams and doing some intense research.  And that's usually good. ;-D  And I taught the lesson in church today -- on Honesty.  I learned a lot, reflected a lot, repented a lot (at least, I am working on that one), and have a new respect for what it means to have an honest heart and a new determination to have one.  I also realized, among other things, that I need to be more deliberate about making my children a priority and not treating them like they are in the way of me getting "things I need" done.  They are very much not in the way!  And I realized that I have too often been treating them like they are lately - or trying to find things for them to do to give me time to do "me" things.

Isaac and Abby have been going through some hard phases lately.  Abby is becoming so independent and so very into her little sister!  And Isaac has been left out quite a bit.  Sometimes he wakes up and immediately goes looking for Abby to play.  And Abby, instead of welcoming him, literally yells at him to go away and leave her to what she was doing.  Then a rejected Isaac comes to find Mommy.  This week he even took the phone with Grandma on the other end of it out on the trampoline and said, "Grandma!  We jumping trampoline, Grandma!"  Oh I almost stopped making breakfast right then to go and play with that little man!  I'm trying not to make too much out of it, though -- I'm sure it's just another phase!  And she is really cute with Brianna - getting down on the floor with her and laughing hysterically every time she gets in her face.  Or surrounding her with all the sofa pillows and putting a blanket on her to send her "night-night."

And don't forget the independent little girl who now wakes up and gets herself dressed before she leaves her room!  Not to worry - she also changes those same clothes a few times a day.  And it's a good thing her wardrobe is so well matched. Cuz she always goes for pink, pink, and pink! ;-D  It's her favorite color -- and Dave often remarks on how her bottoms and tops so often end up being pink on pink or changing to . . . pink on pink!  It's fun to see her so grown up!!!  Well, most of the time! :-)

Today in church, we were singing the opening song, Dave holding Brianna, Abby between us, Isaac on the other side of me.  Abby was holding the hymn book between she and I when she suddenly realized that Daddy didn't have a book.  She said, "Oh - " and quickly moved the book so that Daddy could see it, too. Then she sort of bowed her head, like she KNEW she had just done something really nice! Dave beamed and gave her a hug and told her thank you.  It was so thoughtful it made my heart smile.

An older lady - a lot like Great-Grandma Larson - sat on the other side of us and helped entertain the kids through Sacrament Meeting.  She had a pocket-sized folding mirror that she let them play with.  And she even gave Isaac her necklace from around her neck.  It made me cry - it was just the kind of thing Great Grandma Larson would have done.  And she would have laughed when they got really excited and screeched at the top of their lungs, "Look, Mommy!!!"  She would have even chuckled, her eyes dancing, when Abby turned off the lights when the Bishop was welcoming everyone.  I was totally caught off guard and took longer than the rest of the congregation to realize why the lights had just gone off and remedy the situation.  The Bishop said we were apparently ending a little early today.  "Granny" said that sounded good to her!

Isaac took that long necklace she had given him to play with and walked deliberately over to me, getting up on his tiptoes, placing it gently around my neck, and then lovingly running his hands down to the curve to straighten it out and tapping it.  "There go, Mommy!" he said, as he lovingly and sweetly looked at me like, "So pretty!"  I said, "Thank you, Isaac!"  He beamed back at me, "You welcome, Mommy!" and he gave me a big hug!  I told him to tell "Granny" thank you for sharing her necklace with him - I said, "Say thank you, Granny!"  Dave tapped her arm and said Isaac was trying to tell her thank you.  She said, "Oh. Thank you?"  Isaac said, "You welcome, Granny!"

And Brianna?  Well - Brianna hasn't said Ma-ma-ma-ma since last Sunday.  I guess that was her Mother's Day present to me!  But Miss Brianna did have to go to the doctor for a double ear infection that had kept us up at night for too many weeks.  And that means we found out that she is OFF THE CHARTS in height!!! 32 inches at 7 months!  And her weight is just above the 70th percentile - 18 pounds, 5.6 ounces.  We're so proud!!!

Is it any wonder why I love my kids?

Life's Desserts

I've been thinking about some things this morning.  I have three amazing kids! They all came at times and in seasons that I probably would not have picked.  But I am seeing more and more each day the WISDOM and PERFECT ORDER of each of those times and seasons . . . and of each of our children joining and creating our family.  But there are those moments . . . .

At the Easter Egg hunt last week, I LONGED . . . LONGED . . . to be a volunteer coordinator again, planning community events and projects like that and at the front lines and cross roads heading it all up and basking in the joy I knew I was making possible for those kids to have.  In fact, in this large metropolis that is really a distant extension of L.A., there are SO MANY needs in the community that I wish I could be a part of fulfilling.  And whenever I drive by the college I think about how much FUN it would be to teach again . . . or even tutor people who need extra help . . . because I know I am GOOD at those things.  And they make my heart sing!  I'm working on pinning it down to one thing I CAN do - through service somewhere once a month or once a week - but the time.  The time involved.  The time and opportunity and the time necessary to find the opportunity.  And then finding something to do with my kids while I TAKE the opportunity.  It gets complicated.

In the midst of all of this, I had the thought -- what if I just had one child.  Or what if I had a part-time job.  Or what if I had successfully put off having children and didn't have any right now . . . .

And then I picked Brianna up off the floor where she had been contently, even excitedly, playing with . . . a sock and a measuring cup.  And she started kicking her legs and flapping her arms and smiling and even laughed in glee as soon as I picked her up.  And in came her wide-open mouth up to my cheek to give me a kiss as I pulled her in for a hug.  And down the hall, the twins came running in -- Abby running away from Isaac as they played tag (except she always shuts the door behind her so he can't get her -- I guess she's still learning that doors aren't really a part of the game of tag).  They were both laughing hysterically, Abby half-dressed with her shirt on backwards (because she dresses herself these days and is VERY adamant about it) enjoying every second and calling to me to protect them!

And my heart smiled.  And took a picture. The other things . . . those are pictures I already have in my heart . . . or even pictures I have plenty of time to take someday.  But these children.  These pictures.  These only happen now.  These are irreplaceable.  These aren't planned or budgeted in or even aptly recorded more than in my heart and mind most of the time.  And they are fleeting . . . so fleeting!  And when they are through, I will have created more than a moment . . . but a life.  A life that will live a lifetime and beyond.  A life that will affect other lives.  And create other lives.  Right now I have three of them, actually -- and that's a lot of living I need to be concerned with right now!  That's a lot of time I need to be focused on right now.

So I typed this as my Facebook Status: 

If we didn't have 3 kids, we would have a lot more money and time to do things like game nights, hobbies, working out, backpacking, vacations, traveling, date nights OUT, cruises, gadgets, new clothes --- we would have a LOT LESS smiles, laughs, hugs, slobbery kisses, adoration, emulation, discoveries you take for granted every day, perspective, hilarious one-liners, water fights, dirt fights, "I yuv you may much!" and other things that melt your heart 1,000 times over, tickle fights that make your sides hurt even if you AREN'T a part of them (not to mention your EARS!), cuddles and snuggles to your heart's desire, story time whenever you want, snack time five to six times a DAY, the list is endless. The trade-off? TOTALLY worth it. And those other things - there's a time and a season for everything!

"If dinner was always dessert, what joy would dessert hold?"  Originally I thought of that in terms of all the things I was missing right now as I focus on my dinner and long for my dessert.  But then my heart took a picture that reminded me that these kids are a lifetime of desserts.  Dinner is the daily grind . . . necessary, but not necessarily monumental or memorable most days of the week.  The rest of the things that my kids are and bring to me . . . that's all desserts.  And I need dinner to really appreciate them.  So I'll bask in and be thankful for both!

While You Were Sleeping

Abby finally got wrestled to sleep at around 11:30 last night. She was exhausted but wouldn't stop moving to let herself sleep.

Isaac woke up at 12:30, along with Brianna - Mom was still downstairs, so I called her on her cell phone and asked her to bring milk up with her because he said he wanted milk.

2:00 a.m., a crying Isaac climbs in bed with me and says, "Mommy, please have some milk?" I tried to stave him off, ignore him, cuddle with him, but he just cried and cried. Then he started saying that his leg hurt. Every time I tried to cover him with a blanket, he screamed and said "hurt leg, hurt leg" and he would guide my hand to where it hurt, so I would massage it for a while and then try still to get him to sleep. But he kept asking for milk. Mom said he was also tugging on his ear.  Why not?  He's only been on antibiotics for seven of the ten days. I finally gave in, went downstairs to get him milk and ibuprofen for the ear and apparent growing pains and went back upstairs.

To a wide awake and crying Brianna. I fed her again. Then I asked a still-fussy Isaac if he was hungry. He said yes. Mom said not to go downstairs to just give him to her to cuddle and drink his milk. I said, "No- he says he is hungry and I'm going to make him the freakin' sandwich. I'm NOT doing this every two hours for the rest of the night." First time I can remember saying freakin' in my life. I made him a PB sandwich.

When I came back upstairs with it, he was crawling all over the bed, hyper as hyper, playing with Brianna, and Abby was awake. Wow! Awesome.

He devoured the sandwich. Abby said she wanted one. Back downstairs to make Abby a sandwich. Got up with it, she said she didn't want it. Just wanted milk and to cuddle. Grandma ate the sandwich.  I changed Abby's diaper, put them both back in their beds. It took about another half hour to get them from climbing in and out of each other's beds, hitting each other, laughing, tickling each other, etc. Then Abby asked for another sandwich and I told her no to just go to sleep. Oh. the. patience. But I finally got them to go to sleep and held Brianna's hands down and rubbed her tummy to get her to sleep. That was around 4:00 this morning.

I had dreams of rats attacking me and my sister shunning me. Not very restful.

Brianna woke up crying at 5:20.
And at 8:00 this morning, Abby was WIDE.AWAKE. Woke everyone else up, of course, asking for breakfast and milk. I spent ten minutes forcing her to eat the Lucky Charms in her bowl.  NEVER thought I'd be doing THAT! 

Her eyes have black circles under them and when I was changing her diaper last night I noticed a small rash appearing on her stomach - little tiny bumps. I have no idea if those are from the medicine for her double ear infection or what. Something's up, though. You think? ;-D
 
And yesterday Isaac told me he was running away.  Which he repeated to me this morning as I gave him breakfast.  I said, "Who is running away?"  He proudly patted his chest and said, "Isaac run away!"  I said, "Oh, no! Is he running back, too?"  He got excited and his eyes lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July - I mean, it was sounding like I was on board and it involves running afterall.  "Yeah - I run back, too!"  Perfect!  His five-year-old niece who really turned 13 instead of five on her last birthday taught him that.  Fortunately he has no idea what it means.  Safe for now.

I was checking on Brianna and trying to find her lost pacifier when Mom called me on her cell phone and said she needed me downstairs.  What is up?  Oh, Madison and Abby were playing instead of getting dressed and Madi got her foot stuck in between the bed and the wall and it might be broken.  So she's in the chair until her mom gets home from work to take her to the doctor. Looks like a movie day for us - yay!

Grandma took the dogs out for their morning potty break.  She called me from the kitchen to go and see that my kids, Abby dressed only in her diaper and Isaac without shoes or socks, had gone and gotten towels and blankets to sit on the steps and watch grandma with the dogs because, "Mommy, we cold!"

My mother-in-law called while I was trying to finish getting everyone else breakfast and before I could finish my conversation with her, Abby had dumped her yogurt in a nice pile on the table and began finger painting her chest and arms with it. 

I cleaned that up and realized that I had left Brianna upstairs for a minute . . . about an hour before!  I ran up to get her and bring her down. My foot hadn't hit the bottom step on my way back down before I had a huge blow-out on my hands.  Quite literally.  I hit the floor running but was stopped dead in my tracks by an open deepfreeze door and the twins standing in front of it, a box of pretzels on one side of them, the bag of frozen pretzels on the other, both of them saying they wanted one.

After last night, I'm letting them eat almost anything they ask for.

I pick up the pretzels and am quickly reminded of the blowout.  By the time I get it cleaned up and the pretzel cooked, they've totally lost interest.

But Isaac did find a half-full 44 oz cup of water to drink . . . and spill all over Grandma's hard wood floors!  Glad I caught that earlier rather than later.

And all of that between 11:00 last night and 11:00 this morning.

And yes, I edited myself a few times to keep some not-so-choice words from leaving my brain through my mouth.

Stick a fork in me a week ago. This is just burnt to a crisp!