Daddy Records a Day with Brianna

Dave is working each week on documenting our year through a weekly journal he is creating in Publisher.  That was one of his goals for the year, and he is always GREAT at accomplishing his goals! And then at the end of the year, we'll have a fantastic journal created by Daddy and some filler stuff from the blog that I always write but never . . . illustrate. :-)  So here is this week's entry.  A day with Brianna - a Sunday at that.  I'll post the last few weeks' pages in separate posts.  Without further adieu . . .

Brianna is ONE YEAR OLD Today!!!

One year ago today I was NOT sleeping in a hospital room, nurses were waking me up every hour to ask me about Baby Jane Chaffee's poop and urine routine, Dave was coughing on the sofa next to my bed, and I was wishing we were having a nice candle-lit Steak and Cheesecake Dinner followed by a peaceful night's rest at Gritman Hospital in Moscow, Idaho!  On the home front, Abigail was breaking out in horrible hives, Abby and Isaac were sick with an undetected strep throat, Dave was about to start coughing uncontrollably and be diagnosed with mono (unheard of at his age).  The storms were a-raging, friends!

But through it all, there was a perfect, nameless angel with strawberry hair lying next to me.  And the chaotic events of those days meant that I got some real one-on-one time to take in her wide-eyed wonder, her jaundice-y moments in the light of the sun that turned her reddish hair into a halo of fuzz above her head, her calm disposition and love for cuddling and nuzzling, and the tender moments of her learning to breastfeed.

One year later, our love for that baby is indescribable!  A few of my favorite things that Brianna has brought to our home, hearts, and lives!
* Hearing her wake up and call to us in the morning (Ddd-AAAA!)
* Hearing her run after and away from the twins up and down the hall (giggling every minute)
* Her smiles and first words and signs and contagiously frequent laughs
* Her tantrums when her brother and sister take her toys away
* Sitting and bouncing and playing together during peaceful evenings on the trampoline, which end in me getting out and putting my arms out for her to follow me and her walking towards me with a huge smile on her face and then turning just before she reaches me and running away laughing
* Her overwhelming love for the bathtub and water and absolute shrills of laughter when she gets into the bathroom undetected or finally gets a turn to take a bath and play with the water and the toys
* Watching her fold her arms when we say any prayer or having her sit herself on my lap as we kneel as a family for prayer each night
* Her love for books!!!  She'll go and get a book and sit and flip the pages, mumbling to herself, or listen to Daddy or Mommy read or just stand behind the twins when she hasn't been given a seat of honor on Daddy's lap during story time because she doesn't want to be left out
* Her singing clean up every time we tell the twins to clean something up or she sees us start to pick up toys or food or anything to her singing e-i-e-i-o and laughing at how smart she
* Her dancing in circles in the kitchen during dinner clean up while the rest of the family is boogying all over the place and then begging to be picked up and swung around in ways she can't quite move on her own yet but sees others doing and wants to be a part of
* Her kisses -- such great kisses!!! -- She is always so eager and happy to show her love and share her slobbers with each of us, particularly when we put the twins to bed together before taking her to her own bed during our nightly routine
* Her determination to do things her own way (yes, already)
* Those oh so tender moments when she just climbs up on your lap and lays her head on your chest and says "wuwoo" (I love you!).

Oh this little girl!!!  How we all love, love, love her!  She completes us in ways we could not have imagined one year ago!  And her brother and sister have been mostly mindful of her every need, her every move, her every laugh, her every tear, her everything from the moment she entered this world!!!

For her first birthday, I kind of slacked on planning it.  But I put a plea for help out on Facebook and pieced together a few of the suggestions, all while staying in our budget.  So here's how our wonderful celebration of Brianna's first year and welcoming party for her second year went:

Dave went to work at 6:00 tonight, so we had the whole day together; and I remembered why I don't put too much into these birthdays -- time or money! We took the kids to the dollar store to find a toy for Brianna from them (thanks to Tiffany's suggestion), and the toys were so horrible that we didn't find a single one we would really want them giving her. (Isaac wanted to give her a fire truck and Abby wanted to give her a snake! Um -- no thank you!!!) So we went to WalMart to find the perfect gift from the entire family!!!

She has really started loving the phone (as in, she pitches a HUGE fit if we take it away from her for even a moment!!!), so we were going to get her a phone. But then we found this cute little caterpillar, and the lights and colors were so much more fun that we opted for it. But after giving it to her this afternoon -- well, she lost interest really soon because it's too big to carry around. Isaac played with it more than she did, and she really didn't seem to mind the fact that he was doing so.  So I'm taking it back tomorrow and getting . . . the phone!!! ;-D

We also bought some clearance cupcakes -- we're avoiding sugar and didn't want a ton around to tempt us or to throw away something expensive or sample something homemade as we were making it. And that was a hit -- but I accidentally licked my fingers on an impulse when taking them out and then HAD to have one . . . or two or three! I ditched the frosting, does that count? Next time - Dave puts them out and I stay away!!! ;-D

We also got mylar balloons at the dollar store -- a pink star for Abby, a blue star for Isaac, and a purple Happy Birthday balloon for Brianna. (Bonnie's suggestion!!!)  And those balloons kept them busy ALL DAY LONG!!! They insisted on having them tied to their beds to go to sleep tonight as well - dollars well spent!!!  And the best part is that we can use them to play the balloon game as the helium starts to wear off!  Double great!

We also stopped and got cheeseburgers (we had a price limit for the whole day and stayed in it, but we haven't eaten out for so long that it was a fun treat - or so I thought). Dave and I got salads, but it literally took Abby five hours to eat that cheeseburger, and Isaac was so interested that he took it outside and left it on the ground for the bugs!  So next time -- no eating out for a treat!!!  Money down the drain!!!  I'd rather make stuff that is salvageable and re-heatable at home!!! ;-)

The kids had a hard time the entire afternoon.  We had planned on going to the park and having a picnic, but by the time we got the shopping done and a quick meal to take to the park, they were literally exhausted and asking to go home!!!  So, after lunch we all took a nap so Dave could rest up before working all night and the kids could rest up before driving me insane all night.

As a side note, Abby or Isaac or Brianna put a toy in the toilet two days ago, so we have been down to one toilet; and having to run clear through the house for the twins to go to the bathroom every time they have to go is NOT working very well with potty training.  So we spent about an hour trying to take care of that clogged toilet without success.  Looks like Daddy is going to have to remove it, get the toy from the bottom, and replace it (fingers crossed he doesn't break it and that the drano we used before we figured out it was a toy doesn't destroy the enamel on the toilet or come out and eat Dave's skin while he's working on it).  Oh what fun it is to ride in a three-kid-dominated sleigh-hay!

After naps, we took pictures and a video of her first cupcake/candle experience!!!!  Dave lit the candle and put it in front of her as we sang happy birthday.  Then we were trying to show her to blow it out by blowing just hard enough that it started to flicker and she could tell we were blowing but not hard enough to actually blow it out.  She grabbed at the candle, looked at us like we were crazy and this must be some sick joke to put something like that in front of her, grabbed at the candle again, looked at us again, then grabbed the frosting below the candle and put it in her mouth!!!  Instant success!  And instant loss of interest in the burning candle or blowing it out!  After a few more prods as she contentedly dipped her fingers repeatedly into the frosting and into her mouth, we finally just blew it out for her!!!  It was hilarious!

We got so caught up in the cake/candle experience and the Isaac having to run back to the back bathroom and trying to get Dave out the door that we completely forgot the present that was sitting right there on the table in front of her!!!  Just as he was walking out the door, he came over to say goodbye and looked at the present and said, "Um - we need to open her present!"  So we got the cameras back out and Isaac helped a clueless Brianna open her present!!!

Though there were many other things we could have done to make it "out of the ordinary and special" - the things we DID do were definitely out of the ordinary and special!!!  I think they all had a great time.  And I know that any more would have been the straw that broke the camel's back -- another K.I.S.S. moment (keep it simple, sweetie)!

Sleepless in California

I'm having a hard time sleeping tonight. Probably because Brianna was having a hard time sleeping and I fell asleep with her at 8:30 and then woke up at midnight to an adrenaline rush from killing a huge cockroach in my bathroom!  But whatever the reason . . . here are some things on my mind:

• I love rainstorms.  A really good rainstorm has always taken me back to Ricks College and dancing in the parking lot with my roommates, drenched through and through and LOVING it, splashing each other with mud puddles, laughing our heads off each and every time.  Today, though, I got a new rain memory.  My two-year-olds hearing the rain while they played in their room and running through the house to the back sliding glass door, anxiously asking me to please open the blinds and screaming with excitement as large raindrops turned to large puddles, which turned to a large-though-shallow lake across our patio, which turned to large splashes in the lake.  And once Brianna heard them, she crawled in as fast as she could and squealed with them, standing up next to the window, tapping the glass and laughing in excitement!  Once it was over, nothing could keep those two inside!  They begged me to let them jump on the trampoline, and after stripping them down to their diapers and pulling Abby's hair up, out they went!  They literally played until the huge 1" deep lake was all dried up.  And that memory - of them splashing and kicking water at each other, crawling under the trampoline and back out, throwing water from their little cup all over each other, stomping and squealing with glee and surprise every time they got splashed, etc. - will always bring a smile to my face!
• I love a clean house!  In fact, there are few things that make me happier than sitting in my house with nothing to clean, enjoying the order and spirit and freshness and liberation of it all!
• Tonight we read a few books on the sofa together - just me and my twins!  I treasure those moments! It never ceases to amaze me how much they are like little sponges, wanting to interact and interface with everything in sight!  They would seriously jump into every book we ever read if they could.  And they already ask questions to understand the story/pictures better -- but then again, Dr. Seuss invites questions sometimes, doesn't he? ;-D  And as we read the ABC book in English and I had them repeat the words in Spanish and they scurried off to find any objects in the book that they have in real life, I just smiled!  Our nighttime song tonight was "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" because X stands for Xylophone and they ran and got their xylophone - and that's the only song I have sat down to learn how to play on it!  And since they threw the stick under the stove where it just might stay forever . . . we played it with the hooves of Abby's "Forsey" (horsey).
• I'll never get over cockroaches, no matter how many times I have to kill them - big or "small" (less big, but still BIG).  I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them.  And I know this is an irrational feeling towards such strange little bugs . . . but I really stopped caring a long time ago!  Yep - I am SOOOO over the fact that my hate is irrational!  And hate it truly, truly, truly is!
• Simplicity.  Oh the power of that word!  I have grown to LOVE and SEEK simplicity!  Easy dinner of sliced lettuce, diced grilled chicken, cottage cheese, and salsa - sign me up!  Can I use the same plate and cup and utensils all day to avoid a ton of dishes?  Yes, yes I can!  Can I pack away clothes that are cute but we really don't need and/or get around to wearing and I realize that having them just gives me excuses to put off doing laundry and more laundry to do when I finally get around to it?  Yes, actually!  And I do so with GLEE!!!  Do I pack away toys that the kids only play with when they're throwing them out of the toy box in search of the toys they really want and I find myself spending more time cleaning them up than the kids spent dumping them out?  I do, I do, I really do!  And I don't feel bad when they discover the boxes/bags of said toys and throw a tantrum because I won't open them up and let them dump them all over the room/house again.  Nope - not one bit.  Why?  Because simplicity frees me up to enjoy more things - like story time on the sofa with my kids because dinner didn't take an hour to clean up after and the toys didn't take an extra fifteen minutes to get them to clean up after.  And it frees me to hold Brianna's hand and walk down the hall or across the room with her a few more times during the day.  And it lets me sit unabashed and watch my kids play in the water outside or *gulp* - and I'm still perfecting this one - go out and play WITH them.  And at the end of the day . . . everyone is just that much happier!
• Brianna . . . oh my dear little angel girl!  There is only one room in the house she is really outlawed from entering un-accompanied.  And it is precisely that room that she hovers outside of in unsuspecting moments and crawls toward as fast as she can whenever she sees the open door opportunity, letting out squeals of delight that give her away and let me intercept her just as she finally makes it in: the Bathroom!  And today, she just started clapping and smiling whenever she hears someone say yay!  And we played like that for a while, me pretending to ignore her and then randomly screaming, "Yay!" and her face lighting up as she realized that was her cue to start clapping again!  It was really a fun game!  One I got a very tired girl to repeat for Daddy after much prodding at the dinner table tonight.  Now we're working on "Hip-hip Hooray!" with her arms high above her head!  And by working on it I mean that it's my focus of playtime tomorrow!
• We bought all the stuff to make these really cute 4th of July 'Smore suckers I saw on The Idea Room website.  We invited people over to join the fun.  We made the 'smores and we melted the chocolate.  And it didn't melt like we had thought it would.  So Dave added some milk to smooth it out/liquify it a bit more so we could dip the 'smores in it and . . . you are already laughing?  So you realize that you should NEVER add milk to melted chocolate?  Why didn't you tell me?  And next time, we will freeze the 'smores and then stick the sticker stick in them and THEN try dipping them in our non-milky milk chocolate dipping sauce.  It'll be fabulous enough to take pictures!!!  And no, we didn't throw the chocolate out.  Dave is freezing it for one day in the future when we aren't on a no-sugar-besides-on-holidays kick and he can make his chocolate praline pecan cheesecake for some lucky friends to enjoy with us.  I really can't wait!
• I really love brushing my teeth!  In fact, if I had time to brush my teeth five times a day, just to have that fresh, minty, clean feeling all day long, I would totally do it!  Well, if I wasn't watching money like a hawk and felt that doing so was quite unnecessary and even potentially wasteful.  Cuz I would think of something like that. :-)
• Budgeting.  If budgeting were chocolate, my sister would be an addict.  And I would be the one sitting by, watching her eat, licking my lips and wishing I could have a bite - a morsel - a lick even some days!  But today I spent hours - for the umpteenth time this year - trying to work out a budget for the next year.  Knock on wood because EVERY SINGLE TIME I have done this in the last six months, something has happened that required enough money to completely blow my budget out of the water and send me back to the drawing board, resigned to the fact that we would never have money in savings again!  But this time -- this time I really hope it sticks!  We're trying to get back to grad school, hoping to move back to northern Idaho/Eastern Washington in the process and - try as I may to get around it - moving and grad school mean lots of sacrifices and money!  So I'm praying we can cut and shave and pinch and sell and make it. 
• Friends are like . . . well there are a lot of phrases I could use to end that statement.  Chocolate. A sunny afternoon. A walk on the beach.  A pile of clean laundry.  But tonight I am thinking that friends are just plain good to have.  Cuz I'm a "people who need people" person, not gonna lie!  And not having people could quite possibly be one of the hardest things for me in this world!  And by people I mean friends!  Maybe it's because I fear that I could pass through an entire stage of my life completely unnoticed, no one caring I was there or missing my presence when I left.  I think anywhere you go, everywhere you live, everything you do, etc. - you need real friends.  Even if it is just one.  One golden friend who will accept you for who you are, not judge you when your house is a mess or your kids are bouncing off the walls and ceiling and kitchen sink and . . . . One golden friend who truly cares about what you are doing during the day, even if it really isn't anything at all.  One friend you are comfortable having drop by your house when you're still in your pajamas at 3:00 in the afternoon and your kids are running around in nothing but diapers or perched on the sofa watching Dora the Explorer for the fifth time that day.  Better still, one you can drop in on without feeling like an imposition, even if you might be one at the moment.  One golden friend who you gladly let use your bathroom without worrying that the entire world will hear that your toilet hasn't been cleaned in a while - or make microwave popcorn with without worrying that the spaghetti-splatted microwave you didn't have time to stop and clean in the moment and consequently haven't had triple the time to clean since will get you "the look".  And definitely a friend you can spend holidays with and, more importantly, cry with.  And after typing this I just realized that I am married to him.  And that makes me smile.  But that means I also have to change this entire paragraph to TWO friends!  You need TWO such friends! :-)

Solo Play, Necklaces, and Overhead Lights

I've been a little MIA this week.  There have been a lot of things constantly pulling at my time.  I've been dreaming some big dreams and doing some intense research.  And that's usually good. ;-D  And I taught the lesson in church today -- on Honesty.  I learned a lot, reflected a lot, repented a lot (at least, I am working on that one), and have a new respect for what it means to have an honest heart and a new determination to have one.  I also realized, among other things, that I need to be more deliberate about making my children a priority and not treating them like they are in the way of me getting "things I need" done.  They are very much not in the way!  And I realized that I have too often been treating them like they are lately - or trying to find things for them to do to give me time to do "me" things.

Isaac and Abby have been going through some hard phases lately.  Abby is becoming so independent and so very into her little sister!  And Isaac has been left out quite a bit.  Sometimes he wakes up and immediately goes looking for Abby to play.  And Abby, instead of welcoming him, literally yells at him to go away and leave her to what she was doing.  Then a rejected Isaac comes to find Mommy.  This week he even took the phone with Grandma on the other end of it out on the trampoline and said, "Grandma!  We jumping trampoline, Grandma!"  Oh I almost stopped making breakfast right then to go and play with that little man!  I'm trying not to make too much out of it, though -- I'm sure it's just another phase!  And she is really cute with Brianna - getting down on the floor with her and laughing hysterically every time she gets in her face.  Or surrounding her with all the sofa pillows and putting a blanket on her to send her "night-night."

And don't forget the independent little girl who now wakes up and gets herself dressed before she leaves her room!  Not to worry - she also changes those same clothes a few times a day.  And it's a good thing her wardrobe is so well matched. Cuz she always goes for pink, pink, and pink! ;-D  It's her favorite color -- and Dave often remarks on how her bottoms and tops so often end up being pink on pink or changing to . . . pink on pink!  It's fun to see her so grown up!!!  Well, most of the time! :-)

Today in church, we were singing the opening song, Dave holding Brianna, Abby between us, Isaac on the other side of me.  Abby was holding the hymn book between she and I when she suddenly realized that Daddy didn't have a book.  She said, "Oh - " and quickly moved the book so that Daddy could see it, too. Then she sort of bowed her head, like she KNEW she had just done something really nice! Dave beamed and gave her a hug and told her thank you.  It was so thoughtful it made my heart smile.

An older lady - a lot like Great-Grandma Larson - sat on the other side of us and helped entertain the kids through Sacrament Meeting.  She had a pocket-sized folding mirror that she let them play with.  And she even gave Isaac her necklace from around her neck.  It made me cry - it was just the kind of thing Great Grandma Larson would have done.  And she would have laughed when they got really excited and screeched at the top of their lungs, "Look, Mommy!!!"  She would have even chuckled, her eyes dancing, when Abby turned off the lights when the Bishop was welcoming everyone.  I was totally caught off guard and took longer than the rest of the congregation to realize why the lights had just gone off and remedy the situation.  The Bishop said we were apparently ending a little early today.  "Granny" said that sounded good to her!

Isaac took that long necklace she had given him to play with and walked deliberately over to me, getting up on his tiptoes, placing it gently around my neck, and then lovingly running his hands down to the curve to straighten it out and tapping it.  "There go, Mommy!" he said, as he lovingly and sweetly looked at me like, "So pretty!"  I said, "Thank you, Isaac!"  He beamed back at me, "You welcome, Mommy!" and he gave me a big hug!  I told him to tell "Granny" thank you for sharing her necklace with him - I said, "Say thank you, Granny!"  Dave tapped her arm and said Isaac was trying to tell her thank you.  She said, "Oh. Thank you?"  Isaac said, "You welcome, Granny!"

And Brianna?  Well - Brianna hasn't said Ma-ma-ma-ma since last Sunday.  I guess that was her Mother's Day present to me!  But Miss Brianna did have to go to the doctor for a double ear infection that had kept us up at night for too many weeks.  And that means we found out that she is OFF THE CHARTS in height!!! 32 inches at 7 months!  And her weight is just above the 70th percentile - 18 pounds, 5.6 ounces.  We're so proud!!!

Is it any wonder why I love my kids?

My Favorite Things

This has been a "My Favorite Things" weekend.  In fact, it's almost as if Dave decided that my Mother's Day gift this year was going to be him giving me a weekend filled with all of my favorite things!  When he came home from work Friday night, he brought a movie.  And we had an amazing date night, just sitting together and watching the new Chronicles of Narnia movie.  When we were dating, we used to read Chronicles of Narnia together on Sunday nights.  And whenever we traveled, we listened to it on tape in the car.  That has ALWAYS been one of my FAVORITE things.

Saturday we went for a LONG walk.  We walked everywhere we needed to go that day.  And when we came home, we put the kids down to bed and cleaned the ENTIRE house to have everything ready for a nice, relaxing Sabbath!  Once we got everything clean, we had a laundry party/movie night.  We washed and folded and put away all but one load of laundry.  And we watched a few episodes of "The Ghost Whisperer" - a show I used to watch all the time at my mom's while I was literally FLAT in bed (on the sofa that was my bed) sick with Brianna.  He had never seen it -- and it was fun to see some episodes "where it all began."  It was also nice to NOT have him rushing off to do something that NEEDED to be done, returning home exhausted and not interested in doing anything more than going to bed.  AND working TOGETHER - doing laundry or sorting through boxes or cleaning or cooking or whatever - is also one of my favorite things!

Because the laundry took a long time to completely pull together, Dave fell asleep on the sofa Saturday night.  At least, I thought he stayed out on the sofa because he was too tired to get to bed.  But in reality, he had plans for Sunday morning.  He got up at 5:00 this morning and made me CINNAMON ROLLS - which definitely top the list of my favorite things (if you get a good one - but you already know my feelings on THAT topic).  And he did pretty well with the recipe he chose.  It wasn't the BEST, but it was far from the worst!  In fact, we ate an entire pan today . . . and I decided to let what happens in Mother's Day stay in Mother's Day and NOT count those additional sugar calories for the week!  When the kids woke up, he kidnapped them and got them to help him finish his job for mom.  And then he got them all dressed in their Sunday clothes and came into the room (where he had kindly requested I stay put until he came to get me) to present me with breakfast "in bed."  The kids were SO excited!  I could tell they had a LOT of fun cooking me breakfast with Daddy.  And those moments are some of my FAVORITE things.  He also got me a very small bag of a licorice mix you can buy in bulk at WinCo that has always been a favorite/temptation for me.  Like I said, it was a small bag -- and the kids loved it as much as I did and even got most of the colors right when they requested some of them.

I did Abby's hair as I ate my cinnamon roll breakfast.  Just as I was finishing, Dave came into the room.  Her eyes BEAMED up at him as she simply said, "DADDY?!?!?" anticipating that he would tell her how pretty she looked with her hair done.  And Daddy sure did rise to the occasion.  He said, "ABBY!  I thought you were so pretty this morning when we got your dress on but now . . . with your hair done . . . you are just so BEAUTIFUL!!!  Come here, give me a hug!"  And she beamed and she twirled and she ran into his arms and gave him a hug that even I felt just watching it!  And those moments - moments when I know that my daughter has a daddy who treats her like a PRINCESS and teaches her every day that she is beautiful, irreplaceable, the apple of his eye, and everything in the world to him - those moments are among my favorite things.  Because in those moments my daughter is learning how she should be treated and gaining the confidence that will help her find an eternal companion who treats her the same.  Isaac coming for "his turn" of Mommy doing hair and his big, thankful hug after I comply with some hairspray or even a butterfly clip temporarily in his hair is another favorite thing! ;-D

After church we ALL took a nap - also a pastime that has been MISSING in my life as of late.  I woke from my nap to the sound of Isaac, not calling me to come and get him, but singing at the TOP of his lungs so I would KNOW it was time to come and get him.  The song, sung under the door and echoing down the hallway to my room, went something like this: "Twinkle, twinkle, e, f, g, la, la, la, la, what you AAAAAARE!!!"  And then he moved away from the door and continued to sing a song that went something like this, "I yuv you; you yuv me; hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, yuv me TOOOOOOOOOO!"  Hearing my children sing is one of my VERY favorite things!

Once everyone was awake, Dave made dinner.  Now, we would have had kebabs - another favorite thing - but that would have required one of us to go to the grocery store last night instead of enjoying the night together.  So we opted instead for his homemade spaghetti sauce over cooked shrimp with some Romano cheese on top and a mixed green salad on the side (hey - had to make up for the cinnamon rolls somewhere, right?).  It's always been one of my favorite meals and doesn't take long to throw together.  Consequently, the kids didn't fight us clear through dinner!  And a meal without fighting kids to get them to eat is DEFINITELY a favorite thing.

While Dave cooked, I went back and laid on my bed to feed Brianna.  Soon Abby and Isaac joined me, playing in my quilt, hiding from each other, playfully wrestling each other, giggling that contagious giggle that they get right before they hit their too-tired-to-sleep point.  But it was fun tonight because, as I lay there feeding Brianna, Brianna started kicking her feet at the sound.  And Isaac, who originally came out fully loaded to yell at her to stop kicking him, saw her face and simply asked her not to kick him.  However, when she saw him peek out from under the blanket to tell her to stop, she thought he was playing peek-a-boo with her and started just giggling like crazy!  And Isaac's annoyance literally melted away as the two of them had a hide-and-seek-and-tag-each-other giggle fest!  It is SOOOO much fun to see my kids playing together, hear them laughing together, watch them working together.  And to see their infant sister be included as ALL THREE of them CELEBRATED EACH OTHER tonight -- oh, it was a tender mommy moment.  And I KNOW it will continue to be one of my favorite things!

We got them to bed and played a game of Quiddler - also one of my favorite things!  And though he was over 40 points ahead of me going into the LAST hand - well, he got a whopper hand dealt to him and so did I.  I managed to beat HIM by over 40 points!  And, I'm not gonna lie - that's also one of my favorite things! ;-D  And, hey - it's only at Quiddler that I EVER beat him, so I have to take what I can get!

In the midst of all of this, Dave surprised me by telling me that he took Monday and Tuesday off so we could go hiking/camping.  That tops my list of top ten favorite things, for sure!  And if we can find a safe place to go, we're escaping this crazy city life and taking a much-needed break.  We probably won't stay the night . . . the weather took a turn and Brianna is too young still for really cold/roughing it camping.  But if we can build a fire and do tin foil dinner and smores with the kids at the end of a day hike . . . it will be HEAVEN to me!


Oh - and I can't forget to add that Brianna said "Ma-ma-ma-ma" for the FIRST time today!  And hearing my kids say Mama -- most of the time, at least -- is DEFINITELY one of my FAVORITE things!  Hearing it for the first time from her -- PRICELESS!!!

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Exhilarating . . . Until Tomorrow

That's right!  Tonight I am clapping and laughing and cheering and yelling and encouraging and giddy with excitement because . . . . BRIANNA IS CRAWLING!!!!

Tomorrow it all sinks in that my life just got A LOT harder!!!

And just because I forgot to write it down - she's also been feeling really empowered this last week by the fact that she can SIT UP ALL BY HERSELF, anytime, anywhere she wants.  We were taking a video of Dave taking pictures of the kids last Sunday when all of a sudden . . . she sat up!  Right there in the middle of the photo shoot, camcorder focused on her and her crazy siblings.  So THIS has been an eventful eight days for Miss Brianna!

Now to start cleaning and vacuuming every day and picking things up behind the twins like crazy to keep choking hazards off the floor and out of reach.  AHHHHHHH!!!!!

Then again, I think I'll just enjoy the fun of this moment tonight.  I'll tackle tomorrow . . . tomorrow!

Is that a SMILE?

I was just feeding Brianna when I looked down at her smiling face and realized she had a mouth full of TEETH - like a REAL, non-baby smile!!!  "What?!?!?!" thought I, in disbelief!  I reached down and moved her upper lip and rubbed my finger over her gums - and sure enough, she has the outline in her gums of the teeth that have FINALLY begun to break through! YAY Brianna!  Another milestone!

Middle Child Syndrome

I realized this morning that I have been SO LAX and a SLACKER extraordinario in recording all the things my little Brianna girl is accomplishing in her life right now.  So a couple of milestones for her:
1) She's eating solid foods.  They say you should start eating solids when you're around six months old.  But Brianna was ready and tracking and reaching with intensity by five.  I waited a little but caved around five and a half months.  She LOVES to eat with everyone else.  If one of us is eating, she's salivating/smacking her lips, eyes fixed on her prey (usually food she can't eat).  Seriously! ;-D  And she cries if she gets left out.  I mean, she often gets left out because her siblings still have her on getting attention from mom.  And she does okay with that for a while, watching me walk back and forth between twins and food and twins and water and twins and dishwasher and twins and paper towels to clean up their spills and twins and . . . . but then she hits her limit and it's like, "Um, MOM!!! Hel-looooooooo!  I am totally starving here and you keep going and getting food for everyone but ME!"

She LOVES sweet potatoes.  She won't touch sweet peas (which is crazy because those were the twins' favorite food!).  At first taste, she all but spit green beans, sweet peas, and ground up meat (who wouldn't, though?) back at me.  She'll try a bite or two - to her credit - but when she decides she isn't liking it, she pierces her lips together really tight and stares at me like, "Really, Mom?  How many signs do I have to give you for you to get it that I am NOT eating that food?!  Bring out the good stuff.  I know you have it."  She's come around on the green beans and the meat (maybe she was starving when I tried them for the second time?  I dunno!).  So it's been fun!  But she LOVES sweet potatoes more than anything else, even applesauce or bananas or pears or anything.  She's her momma's girl!


2) Rocking!!!!  This is really exciting for me.  I don't remember when the twins started getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth, but Brianna has just started doing that in the last few days.  Like two.  And it is so fun to watch her!  Every time the twins and/or Mommy get on the floor, she observes like a hawk!  And then you see her scooted back in a corner or under the table or piano bench or something, somewhere she has had to stop and can't scoot back anymore every time she tries to go forward, and pretty quickly she is up on all fours and rocking -- just one or two rocks, but rocks nonetheless.

I know you may be thinking that this is all normal and you can read in the textbooks that she is on track for her age.  And honestly, I'm okay with that.  Cuz I'm just tracking HER textbook.  And it is SO MUCH FUN!

3) She loves to be UP!  All the time!  Observing everything she can and trying to imitate it.  She even found Abby's sippy cup of water on the floor the other day and had maneuvered it to her mouth and was trying to drink out of it.  She just wants to be a grown up.  And when you sing to her - you have never seen a child get SO excited - she starts smiling, laughing, kicking her legs, flapping her arms - she just LOVES it!

4) She can almost sit up on her own.  All she has left to do is figure out how to scoot her legs to get them up.  She's got the cork-screw turn down pat, though; and she is flexible beyond words in getting turned around and halfway up!  So I think she'll be sitting up SOON!

5) She is intense like Isaac was.  When my sister's friend, Georgia, met Brianna, she later told Lisa that she had never seen a baby so focused and intense before - like she was looking right into your soul.  Isaac was like that - and Brianna is intense in her observations and diligent in her imitations.

6) Her disposition.  She is the sweetest, sweetest, most chillaxed baby you have ever met!  Or at least I have ever met.  She is patient beyond words -- like I said, even when she is hungry she will watch me take care of everyone else and just sit there patiently until she has had it - which is sometimes 20-30 minutes after I put her in her chair and start getting her food ready.  She puts up with a LOT from these toddler twin siblings of hers.  A LOT.  And she takes it all really well, mostly wanting to be a part of it more than anything.  Abby and Isaac love her - sometimes a little too much and sometimes with a little tough love, but she takes it and is usually really patient with them.

So hopefully I've redeemed her a little bit from suffering the middle child syndrome of being overlooked and overshadowed.  I DO have pictures -- but they're mostly on my nieces camera right now.  So those will - yet again - have to wait until later.  But she is still holding onto her little strawberry blond hair, and I am really excited about that!  Her eye lashes are a beautiful auburn, and I wouldn't mind one bit if she took after her aunts and had rich, thick, beautiful reddish hair!

While You Were Sleeping

Abby finally got wrestled to sleep at around 11:30 last night. She was exhausted but wouldn't stop moving to let herself sleep.

Isaac woke up at 12:30, along with Brianna - Mom was still downstairs, so I called her on her cell phone and asked her to bring milk up with her because he said he wanted milk.

2:00 a.m., a crying Isaac climbs in bed with me and says, "Mommy, please have some milk?" I tried to stave him off, ignore him, cuddle with him, but he just cried and cried. Then he started saying that his leg hurt. Every time I tried to cover him with a blanket, he screamed and said "hurt leg, hurt leg" and he would guide my hand to where it hurt, so I would massage it for a while and then try still to get him to sleep. But he kept asking for milk. Mom said he was also tugging on his ear.  Why not?  He's only been on antibiotics for seven of the ten days. I finally gave in, went downstairs to get him milk and ibuprofen for the ear and apparent growing pains and went back upstairs.

To a wide awake and crying Brianna. I fed her again. Then I asked a still-fussy Isaac if he was hungry. He said yes. Mom said not to go downstairs to just give him to her to cuddle and drink his milk. I said, "No- he says he is hungry and I'm going to make him the freakin' sandwich. I'm NOT doing this every two hours for the rest of the night." First time I can remember saying freakin' in my life. I made him a PB sandwich.

When I came back upstairs with it, he was crawling all over the bed, hyper as hyper, playing with Brianna, and Abby was awake. Wow! Awesome.

He devoured the sandwich. Abby said she wanted one. Back downstairs to make Abby a sandwich. Got up with it, she said she didn't want it. Just wanted milk and to cuddle. Grandma ate the sandwich.  I changed Abby's diaper, put them both back in their beds. It took about another half hour to get them from climbing in and out of each other's beds, hitting each other, laughing, tickling each other, etc. Then Abby asked for another sandwich and I told her no to just go to sleep. Oh. the. patience. But I finally got them to go to sleep and held Brianna's hands down and rubbed her tummy to get her to sleep. That was around 4:00 this morning.

I had dreams of rats attacking me and my sister shunning me. Not very restful.

Brianna woke up crying at 5:20.
And at 8:00 this morning, Abby was WIDE.AWAKE. Woke everyone else up, of course, asking for breakfast and milk. I spent ten minutes forcing her to eat the Lucky Charms in her bowl.  NEVER thought I'd be doing THAT! 

Her eyes have black circles under them and when I was changing her diaper last night I noticed a small rash appearing on her stomach - little tiny bumps. I have no idea if those are from the medicine for her double ear infection or what. Something's up, though. You think? ;-D
 
And yesterday Isaac told me he was running away.  Which he repeated to me this morning as I gave him breakfast.  I said, "Who is running away?"  He proudly patted his chest and said, "Isaac run away!"  I said, "Oh, no! Is he running back, too?"  He got excited and his eyes lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July - I mean, it was sounding like I was on board and it involves running afterall.  "Yeah - I run back, too!"  Perfect!  His five-year-old niece who really turned 13 instead of five on her last birthday taught him that.  Fortunately he has no idea what it means.  Safe for now.

I was checking on Brianna and trying to find her lost pacifier when Mom called me on her cell phone and said she needed me downstairs.  What is up?  Oh, Madison and Abby were playing instead of getting dressed and Madi got her foot stuck in between the bed and the wall and it might be broken.  So she's in the chair until her mom gets home from work to take her to the doctor. Looks like a movie day for us - yay!

Grandma took the dogs out for their morning potty break.  She called me from the kitchen to go and see that my kids, Abby dressed only in her diaper and Isaac without shoes or socks, had gone and gotten towels and blankets to sit on the steps and watch grandma with the dogs because, "Mommy, we cold!"

My mother-in-law called while I was trying to finish getting everyone else breakfast and before I could finish my conversation with her, Abby had dumped her yogurt in a nice pile on the table and began finger painting her chest and arms with it. 

I cleaned that up and realized that I had left Brianna upstairs for a minute . . . about an hour before!  I ran up to get her and bring her down. My foot hadn't hit the bottom step on my way back down before I had a huge blow-out on my hands.  Quite literally.  I hit the floor running but was stopped dead in my tracks by an open deepfreeze door and the twins standing in front of it, a box of pretzels on one side of them, the bag of frozen pretzels on the other, both of them saying they wanted one.

After last night, I'm letting them eat almost anything they ask for.

I pick up the pretzels and am quickly reminded of the blowout.  By the time I get it cleaned up and the pretzel cooked, they've totally lost interest.

But Isaac did find a half-full 44 oz cup of water to drink . . . and spill all over Grandma's hard wood floors!  Glad I caught that earlier rather than later.

And all of that between 11:00 last night and 11:00 this morning.

And yes, I edited myself a few times to keep some not-so-choice words from leaving my brain through my mouth.

Stick a fork in me a week ago. This is just burnt to a crisp!

I Have TWO Little Hands

Brianna has discovered her hands . . . and her fingers.  Yesterday I went up to mom's room to get her and change her diaper and feed her and Mom told me to just watch her for a minute.  She went to put her hand in her mouth like she always does and then stopped short. She looked at her hand and slowly moved each one of her fingers and just stared at them.  It was like she had realized for the first time that when she moved her arm, that thing in front of her moved.  And when she moved her fingers, those things on that thing in front of her moved.  It was truly fascinating!  She repeated it a few times in the five minutes I was standing there, but Mom said she had been doing it for quite a while.  And Gramma was getting QUITE a kick out of watching Brianna discover . . . Brianna.  She kept telling her - "Those are Brianna's hands!  Brianna can do that, Brianna can move them!  Yeah - see?  Those are Brianna's hands!"

It was also super cute that five-year-old Madison followed up Gramma's cues by telling her, "Yeah - those are Brianna's hands.  And you are Brianna!  See?"

Oh discoveries and entertainment all around.

I am sure this is probably a developmental milestone - but I don't know much about that.  I just know that it is really cute and really fun to watch her discovering these things right now!

My Heart Took a Picture

Abby and Isaac and Brianna are all sick.  Oh, wait - let me show you my surprise face . . . . Yeah, I don't really have one.  This scene is all too common and familiar!  Draining me and my budget!  But that's a story for never a day! ;-D

The night before last, I went upstairs to my mom's bedroom where we are all sleeping.  The routine is that I put the kids to bed in "Gamma's bed" and then move them when they are asleep.  Oh, and I have to mention that they find their way back to Gamma's bed several times a night, but the intent is to have just two in the bed instead of five.

Anyway - as I was putting them to bed, they kept hitting each other, pushing their feet against each other, rubbing the wall, rolling on top of each other on "accident" and just doing the typical sibling stuff.  And after over an hour -- they were NOT SLEEPING.  And momma was NOT HAPPY.  So I did what a smart mom would have done from the beginning: laid in between them. 

Now in the midst of all of this not-sleeping accident-happening fanfare, I had reached over and held one of each of their hands.  Not that it had the impact I had hoped because they still got creative with their other hands and feet.  But I gave it a good shot.

When I laid in between them, Isaac held on tightly to the one hand he had been holding.  And then he took the other hand and started petting my face, like I do to them to gently close their eyes when they aren't sleeping.  But I saw it as just one more distraction to keep him awake, so I turned my head towards the other twin.  Then he started stroking my ponytail.  And there we laid, my hand in his, his other hand gently stroking my ponytail until he fell asleep. 

Did I mention he fell asleep holding my hand and stroking my ponytail?  Just checking.

It was really sweet.

One of my dear friends wrote a post a few days ago about how there are times when you have to create moments that will be memories for your children.  You make the mess in the kitchen to make the cookies inspite of the mess in order to have the memory of making the cookies and the smiles and giggles on your children's faces when you do.

I agree with her SO MUCH!  But this little moment with my little man taught me something else.

Sometimes you just have to quiet your heart down enough for it to take a picture of the moments you did not and could not in a million years create . . . or ever forget!

In this moment, no mess necessary, no elaborate plan put into motion, no calories for the sake of my children having a fun memory with mom -- my heart took a picture.  And lest I forget, I'm writing it down.

It reminds me of another picture my heart took the last time we were here at my mom's - after Brianna was born when Dave was so sick for so long.  I had taken the twins up to put them to bed.  Same scene, different day.  I was holding Brianna.  Isaac was pitching fit after fit.  Finally he looked at me and said, "Mom - I hold Beenana, I hold him."  I reluctantly gave in after a few persistent requests.  And he laid there still as a board and held her on his arm, his little head touching her little head, the most peaceful expression on his face as they slept.  And he didn't move a muscle.  And this mommy heart took a picture of a little boy loving and protecting and cuddling with his baby sister. 

I hope there are many more picture-taking moments like these to record, just in case my camera breaks or forgets with old age or gets a full card that I can't sort through to find the specific pictures I'm looking for! ;-D

Let your heart be quiet today -- see what pictures it has been taking all along!

My Fearsome Threesome

Life moves on so quickly!  And it is so easy to get lost in the middle of it all and forget that time is moving forward, you aren't just standing still; you aren't just treading water; you aren't just enduring and waking up at the end where you started.  I look at my family - my children in particular - and am so amazed at how much, how quickly, they change!  Just a few things I want to remember one day because, as I've often been reminded lately -- Childhood doesn't last forever!

Abby's hair is getting SO LONG!  It is so pretty with it's little waves and curls!  She loves to comb her hair with anything - comb, brush, pick, whatever she can find - and say, "That bo-tee-foal! So pitty!"  And it is beautiful! So pretty! Even better is the glow in her eyes and the way her face transforms when she says it!  You have never seen anything so truly BEAUTIFUL!  I hope she always has that confidence and glow! I hope no one ever makes her question it or makes her cry because of it!

Isaac is usually quick to join in, "Yeah, Ab, pretty!" And he gets the cutest smile on his face as well.  Just tender, sweet comments for his sisters. The other day I had Brianna in a dress and Isacc walked in the room and saw her and said, "Brianna! You're so pretty, cute girl! Yeah. Pretty!"  It made me smile!  But not as much as it made me smile when he tried on Abby's very FULL slip one Sunday afternoon - he insisted that he get to try it on, crying when I took it away.  I finally gave in - I didn't really have any reason not to - and he ran down the hall saying, "Cute!  Yeah!  I cute!"  The fact that the slip barely covered his diaper because his legs are SO much longer than Abby's only made the moment that much more KODAK!!!  Wish we had THAT on video for his dating years! :-)

Two days ago, Abby was playing with Isaac's bear.  She grabbed a tissue from the tissue box and had torn it into small pieces.  I looked away for a second and when I looked back, she had draped the tissues on the bear and then looked at me, her face squinting and her mouth open in the cutest little triumphant smile/laugh and said, "Wow - that BO-tee-foal, Mom!"  Isaac quickly grabbed the bear and said, "No! My bear!" and tore the tissue off, and Abby looked like she didn't quite know what to do as she glanced at the torn tissue on the ground. She had been so proud - I really wanted to cry!  But she took it really well, her expression quickly changed from hurt to casual acceptance, she picked up the tissue paper and went on her way, playing with something else.

There are days I am amazed by their love and tenderness with each other; and there are days I see the bully brother and the tender-hearted sister.  And there are days when she will tackle that boy to the ground in .2 seconds flat EVERY.TIME.SHE.TRIES.  Sometimes she is the tender mother, hugging him when he cries or gets disappointed, "Are you okay, Isaac? Uh-oh, what happened?  Come 'ere!"  Sometimes she is the bossy mother, "Isaac - come 'ere right now . . . 1, 2, 3.  Right now, Isaac!"  He has his share of the little boss and the protective brother, too - don't get me wrong.  One of my favorite moments was last week when Dave told Isaac for quite literally the sixth time that he needed to stop or start doing something - I don't remember what.  Abby looked at Dave and said, "Daddy - don't spank Isaac any more!"  How could we help but laugh at that?  I promise he isn't an abused child! ;-D  And in the end I am reminded that they are incredibly special, incredibly bright, incredibly talented, incredibly loving -- but they are still just siblings, just human, and experiencing all of the emotions that come with it.  I'm trying to learn how to encourage the love to grow, how to weed out the bossy moments and nurture the tender ones, but some days that is also hard to know how to handle and what to do - or sometimes to even think about it in the midst of just living.  Cuz in the end, I'm just human, too! :-)

Brianna is so big!  There is nothing that makes my heart smile like seeing her face smile - watching her legs start to kick wildly and her eyes get really big and excited when I walk into the room!  I love to make her laugh!  And she has the cutest little, short, almost gasping giggle!  It's not full-blown laughter very often.  It rarely lasts longer than two seconds at a time.  It's just a quick giggle or shrill of laughter - but always, always, always there is her sweet and tender smile, so easily won, so freely given, such complete and utter heart-melting material!

Her face is so round right now!  She's like a soft, silky little airy marshmallow!  It's so fun to see and to feel her face and snuggle her close as she nestles into me!  Tonight she was fussing and Dave picked her up.  She calmed a bit but not completely.  Then I went in and she looked at me and started to "talk" to me, so I picked her up.  That was it. She nestled close, put her cheek next to mine, and was just as content as could be.  I said, "You're right, Dave, she really is momma's little girl."  He said, "Yes she is - but that's okay cuz I have her whole life to change that!"  PUNK!  He's right, though -- Abby is Daddy's little girl - whether he's wrestling, having a tickle war, pulling her around on his leg, whatever - she cannot get enough of him!  She smothers him with kisses and conquers him with hugs.  She gives the BEST bear hugs you have EVER received!  The other day she took his face between both her hands and got right up close and kissed his lips and said, "I love you, Daddy!"  And every night afternoon for her nap or night after prayer, I tuck her and she calls after me, "I love you, Mamma!  Mom?  I love you!"  I love you, too, Abby!  More than you know!  Tonight she started crying, and I just went in and held her for a minute and covered her face and hair with kisses and rubbed her back and told her it was okay!  I LOVE those moments!

This afternoon I told the twins to choose a book for us to read.  Abby picked a counting book and started to read it to ME.  Isaac got an Arthur book - yes, a young reader version that has very few pictures and too many words/pages.  He sat by me on the sofa and laid his little head on my shoulder and listened.  And then he started to talk like he was in the middle of a very grown-up conversation. Finally, he had HAD it.  He looked up at me and growled right into my face -- and then the little puppy dog was off to find the fire engine and save the world!  He has such an amazing imagination!

The other day I realized he had been quiet for longer than I was comfortable with.  I called as I walked through the house, "Isaac.  I--saac!  Where are you?"  I heard the teasing reply, "I no know!"  I kept the game going.  "What? Where are you?"  "I no kno-oooow!"  I found him under a laundry basket in his bedroom, quietly hiding for who knows how long, waiting for me to come and "seek" him out.  He often plays hide and seek, and often with the laundry basket!  He can play by himself forever, and then when he gets tired of that he will come and find me or Abby or Brianna and play by himself next to us.  Sometimes - often, really - they play together.  But he really is good with either situation.  And when he decides to be cute and tender and soft and loving - he IS cute and tender and soft and loving!

And when Brianna sees Isaac and Abby or hears them playing or they stand around the bouncy seat and play with her and talk to her and push her seat (sometimes a LOT too hard), she is just enthralled.  She's quick to let them know when she has had it - but she is also quick to forgive when they have been too rough.  Her eyes get so big, just in awe of everything they do and all the love they give her.  And I am learning to not protect her too much and make them feel like the bad guys.  They are almost always just as concerned as I am when their play gets too hard or not mindful enough of her as it should be and she starts to cry.  Isaac is almost always first to say sorry or ask her what happened.  And if I pick her up to rescue her, he always asks me to put her back so he can keep playing with her.

He also loves to hold her -- they both do, but he seems to request it more than Abby does, though Abby will stay with it longer when she does "hold" Brianna.  I am learning that I don't give them that opportunity often enough.  And they EAT IT UP every time I do.

And when Brianna boogies on my lap, she's as limber as Michael Jackson -- she has some smooth moves!  And she loves every second of it!  And Abby and Isaac always ask to boogie, too!  But they're not as easy to hold and zip and zoom across the room.  Today I was doing a workout video in my room while the girls slept and Isaac played in the living room.  Pretty soon he came to find me.  After a few seconds of trying to follow the moves and moving my handweights from here to there a few times, he said, "Mommy - I wanna watch exercise movie!  I want watch the music!"  I've got singing, dancing stars on my hands.  I LOVE it!

Still Here?

Yes, we're still here.  But we're not still there . . . in Boise, I mean.  We have been home now for officially one week and a few hours.  And I JUST got my clothes put away from the trip.  Yep.  Awesome.

There are a few cute things I've been wanting to put on here all week.  But I haven't had time.  And now I can't remember them.  So they'll have to wait.  But I thought this super cute picture of Brianna couldn't wait, even though Dave said I should wait to post pics until we have some of Abby as well.  So it's just a sneak peak, I guess.  TTFN!!!

Oh I can't get enough of her!

Dark Clouds with Silver Linings

I realize that my blog update a few days ago was a bit negative.  I would apologize, but I'm kind of coming to realize that bad days or bad seasons are what they are.  They are part of this life experience that make it what it is.  And though there are silver linings to dark clouds, the silver wouldn't shine through without the contrast of the darkness of the cloud.  Sometimes you can be depressed without being clinical and you can have a bad day without being cynical. ;-D

That said, throughout all of this, I was constantly reminded to see the positive by my dear husband.  He's amazing at always seeing the positive.  Even as he has been in bed, taking every drug possible, completely exhausted, locked away from the kids, and totally out of the first week of Brianna's life and all the tiny little moments that I am so blessed to experience, he still says, "In all honesty, Melinda, this week hasn't been that bad.  I've been able to keep going to work, we have an extra room where I can go to stay away from the baby and the twins, and your mom is here to help fill in the gaps.  So really, we've been blessed!"

And we have.  So here are some silver linings I've noticed and sought to see along the way (and by silver linings I mean Heavenly Father's hand and tender mercies gifted directly to us in packages of all shapes and sizes):

1) If Dave's fever hadn't broken the first time, he wouldn't have been there for Brianna's birth.  Which might not have been a bad thing, you might say, since it would have kept her from being exposed to whatever he has.  HOWEVER, that's another silver lining because I am sure Heavenly Father surrounded her with angels to protect her from this mystery flu and allow him to at least be there for her birth and the first hours of her life.

2) If the hospital stay had been more pleasant and Abby hadn't broken out from the allergic reactions to her medicine, my husband would not have taken her to Quick Care that night and have put off yet again going to the doctor to get help for his symptoms because -- let's face it -- who wants to go and sit for hours and hours at "Quick Care" after one long day at work and before another?  NO ONE!  So thankfully, I was inspired to get out of there; Abby was broken out and needed someone to take her in; and Dave had no way to avoid getting to the doctor.  Sure, it was inconclusive, but it was also a starting point.

3) If Brianna hadn't been jaundicey, I wouldn't have had a quick follow-up the next day and wouldn't have talked to the doctor who told me there was no way Dave had strep throat while on antibiotics.  And now that doctor is overseeing and ordering all of the other tests to try and find out what Dave DOES have.

4) If Abby hadn't had a SECOND allergic reaction to the benedryl for her FIRST allergic reaction, we wouldn't have been in to see the doctor and wouldn't have found her double ear infection or strep throat.  Then we wouldn't have gotten Isaac in there to be diagnosed either.  AND, to top off those tender mercies, the doctor was good enough to give my mom sample antibiotics to get her through all of this because she has medical conditions that would have made it REALLY bad for her to have gotten the strep throat (like hospitalization bad).  And with Idaho Medicare as her primary insurance, she couldn't see or be treated by a doctor in California.  She can only go in Idaho.  So it was an amazing blessing that she was able to get the medicine she needed to avoid and/or work through all of this crazy sickness stuff that was hitting the kids.  AND . . .

5) My mom having antibiotics made it possible for her to take care of the kids worry-free while I kept my little Brianna away from them until they had been on medicine long enough to not be contagious anymore.  Had she not been "treated" and/or had she gotten the strep infection, I would have had to find a way to keep Brianna at a distance while taking care of FOUR sickleys.

6) Brianna has been the best, best, best baby EVER!!!  Yes, she has the cold.  And no, it's never fun for a newborn to have to deal with all that cruddy flu stuff when they're still trying to figure out this mortal body of theirs and how it feels and works and what not.  HOWEVER, she didn't get all the symptoms.  She's been protected (from breastfeeding or angels or a combination of both) to not get anything else that's flying around in this house.  And she has handled it really, really well.

7) My delivery could not have gone smoother.  Events and circumstances surrounding the delivery definitely could have.  But the delivery itself was everything I had been praying for for the entire pregnancy.  I had very little internal tearing; once she came, she just came; I didn't have to have a c-section or anything else; and even the post-pregnancy pain has been very bearable in comparison to what I experienced last time and could have experienced this time.  The only thing I feel I have to watch is doing too much -- picking up the twins or whatever.  And that is SUCH a HUGE blessing!!!

8) Modern medicine!!!  I mean, they have the initial strep test and the lab where they send the swab away to make sure they diagnosed it correctly.  They can draw your blood and run tests for any number of diseases and have answers within hours or a few days.  Truly a blessing!

9) Abby and Isaac!!!  I was worried about them waking up and not being around.  But I went into the hospital after we put them to bed and we had a baby about an hour before they woke up, so they were able to come and spend the first hour of her life with us in the hospital!!!  The timing could not have been more perfect!!!  And they have love love loved her!  Tonight as we drove back from a small road trip to look at potential places to live, Abby held Brianna's hand for the entire last leg of the trip and sat back there saying, "Shhhhh, baby -- it's okay!"  And Isaac is the first to run and tell me if she's crying and always says, "What wrong Anna?  Why cwying, Anna?  You hungee?  Huh?"  They have had a hard road with a new baby, Mommy being locked up in the bedroom with her so many hours of the day, Daddy being locked up in the office so much they forget he's around, etc.  But they have done really, really well with it all.  They are such a blessing to each other and to this new little baby -- not to mention to me!!!

10) My mom, my mom, my mom!  I can't say enough thanks for all she has done and the way things lined up for her to be here through all of this!  It hasn't been the tranisition time she or I had planned on, but it has been so nice to not be alone through all of it, to be able to rest and to take care of Brianna without worrying about the twins.  It's been nice to not be alone and to have someone to talk to and laugh with and even eat all that junk I'm not supposed to be eating right now with.  She has been an angel, a true Godsend!!! 

11) You know how they say that you don't appreciate something until you've lost it.  I love love love and appreciate David so much!!!  I miss being with him, laughing with him, talking with him, having him hold me while we make dinner and the kids run around or wrestling with the kids to see who gets to sit next to him right after he's come home from work.  I miss holding hands when we pray or laying my head on his shoulder while we read scriptures at night.  I miss him having energy to do things and being able to talk to him without him being so exhausted that it's never a good time.  I miss watching movies with him at night because he's always too tired to stay awake through them, even on the weekends.  Just so many things that have been gone for so long but have REALLY been completely gone this last week. 

12) The sun before the storm.  In the Triage, I was doing "labor lunges" - I got them from one of my workout videos.  He thought it was HILARIOUS and took a picture of his "hard core wife."  And we had so much fun playing Quiddler and talking and laughing and arguing about whether or not I was going to get the epidural.  And I'm thankful for those small moments before everything else hit.  And I'm looking forward to having them again VERY SOON!!!!

13) My sister Monique.  She has held the fort taking care of my 94-year-old grandma, two five-year-old cousins that don't always see eye to eye, a buddingly independent two-year-old, and a 10-month-old baby.  NEED I SAY MORE about what a HUGE blessing it has been for her to take on such a HUGE load to allow my mom to be with me. 

It's late!  That's all I can think of/remember tonight!  But if I think of something else, I'll add it to the list!

And doesn't that gray cloud look so much prettier somehow with all of that beautiful silver surrounding it?  I sure think so! ;-D

P.S.

P.S. -- I am going to write a silver lining post tomorrow to highlight all of the tender mercies I've noticed/searched for in all that has happened the last month.  But for tonight, I just want to add that in the midst of all of this, Abby has decided she is ready to be done with diapers.  As in I literally have been taping her diapers on her with duct tape to keep her from taking them off whenever she pees or poops in them because I just can't handle it and the already few accidents she has had in the process.  *sigh*  Any potty training resources or ideas for fast and painless that you want to pass on would be MUCH appreciated.

In the meantime, Isaac went to sleep without his pacifier tonight.  *peaceful smile*

And Brianna hasn't learned yet that at one week old, she isn't supposed to be able to roll over onto her side or her stomach.  Which, after finding her face down last night and freaking OUT, I have decided to tell her she is way too young to do things like this.

And I have decided that breastfeeding is God's gift to mothers.  How else do you get to have a few precious moments of undisturbed closeness to your newborn to figure them out in the most personal, intimate way?  Even if toddlers and life distract you throughout the day, there are those silent, fleeting moments in the middle of the night when you get to look into their inquiring eyes, hold their little hands in yours, and have mommy/daughter popcorn and hot chocolate talks that will never go beyond the two of you and leave strong, deep impressions of love and safety for them.  It is precious and tender indeed.  Such a blessing!!!

More about Bri, Bria, Brynn, Beanie, Beaners . . .

This is for you, Shawna.  I hope it isn't too boring and a complete disappointment.

So, many of you remember my petition for baby girl name ideas.  And I have to say that this was some poetic justice that it was hard for me to choose a name because my sister always has a hard time choosing a name with HER impossible husband who likes every name she doesn't and doesn't like every name she loves.  And I never understood how HARD it can be to be in that choosing a name game situation with a man who likes names like Ursula -- or Dagney in my case.  So it serves me right for all the times I pestered her about why she hadn't just chosen a name already and when they were going to choose one.

And silver lining around the dark cloud that was my last post includes me seeing a tender mercy in the birth certificate lady CONTINUALLY hounding us for a name and even bringing us a book of 40,001 names.  Thank goodness for that last one, or maybe Brianna would still be nameless! ;-D

Anyway - here's the brief story of how Brianna came to be called -- well, I'm still not exactly sure what she will be called, but at least she will forever be NAMED Brianna.

I had the hardest time getting Dave to sit down and look at and choose a name -- any name -- an option, a starting point, an inkling of interest.  The one time he did, he came across Dagney when he got to the D's and pretty much closed the computer and spent the next . . . forever . . . talking about how it was the PERFECT name.  And he never did sit down at another list after that.

So, after explaining to him EVERY SINGLE TIME that Dagney was NOT a name for a little girl, I finally got him to talk about names as we drove down to pick my mom up at the airport (and don't think I didn't subtley suggest every ONE of your suggestions without getting the LEAST degree of interest or reciprocity from him on ANY of them -- thanks anyway).

On that trip, Dave decided that he really liked Naomi Grace - and we would call her Gracie.  Now, I actually liked that name.  That was actually okay with me EXCEPT for the fact that it didn't really have a good namesake, not one that would produce a book for our namesake library for this little girl.  I mean, Naomi was a wonderful woman, exemplary really.  But there aren't many books devoted just to her or much about her.  I guess I could have been the first to write one . . . but, you get the idea.  So pretty much that name stayed at the top right up to the end.  But I'm jumping the gun here.

Other names that Dave liked included Samantha and Natalie -- he REALLY liked Natalie for some reason.  And I had always thought that I would like those names.  But then I started thinking about calling my little girl Sam or Sami or Nat or Natty and -- I just couldn't do it.  Those names are so masculine.  It just didn't jive with me.

When Dave left me at the hospital with the charge to choose a first name from Naomi, Natalie, and Samantha and a middle name from Jane and Grace, I have to say that I looked at my little girl and tried every name on her and all of the nicknames as well.  And to me, she was a Gracie through and through.  Not just because the name seemed to fit her little pixie face and cute red hair but because of the meaning of the word Grace and all that implies and all this pregnancy meant for me personally and all that has happened since she was born.  Gracie was just HER.  And I was leaning more and more towards the Naomi Grace idea with the given that I would just have to write a book about Naomi from the Bible for my little namesake.

But just as I was about to say, "Final answer," I remembered that Dave's sister is due in November and told me they were naming their little girl Katherine Grace.  And since she told me that months ago, she kind of has dibs on the name.  And I wasn't sure if she was planning on calling her Grace or Katherine and didn't want to step on toes (of all of his sisters, she is the MOST sensitive and would be perhaps the only one to actually take offense at something like that).  So, rather than play ignorant I did what any good sister-in-law would do and called to ask what they were planning on calling their little girl.  I got her husband, who told me that they were naming her Grace Katherine so - duh - they would be calling her Grace.  Okay - sorry - my bad.  Scratch Gracie.

And that left me with nothing, and a bit heartbroken I will admit.  I could also really see her as an Emma, my favorite name from the onset.  But Dave's heart had not left his opposition to that name, even when he said, "Go ahead."  And she's his daughter, too, after all.

So when Dave came back to find that I was on my way home, and I explained that Grace was out and Naomi Jane just didn't feel right because I didn't want to call her Jane and couldn't see myself calling her Naomi or any sort of nickname combination of the two, we went to "the book."

We started looking at all of the lists.  Ironically, the list of names for strong women had almost ALL of my favorites on it, all of which he had already vetoed.  So we turned to other lists.  And he read off some names that he liked, none of which seemed very special or appropriate to me.  And after he read quite a few names from one list, I asked him to read the entire list.  After all, it had caught his attention on more than one name already, so it might just be a winner.

Brianna was on that list.  When he told me it meant strong, virtuous woman and I looked online and found that it also means one who ascends, I liked it.  When I thought about nicknames like Bri, Bria, and Brynn, all feminine and cute names for what would be a strong name when she got older and didn't want the nicknames any more, I decided I could handle that.  And it went perfectly with Jane.  When Dave said he could handle it as well, it stuck.  And Birth Certificate lady got there just in time for my discharge from the hospital.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about this name -- still, a week later, I'm not sure that I love love love it.  But I've learned that with all of my efforts to choose a strong namesake from a strong, noble woman who has shaped the past, I have also given a name to a person who will define how that name is seen in the future by what she does with her life.  And since it means virtuous and strong and ascension in a time when virtuous women are scarce and strong women are anything but in my mind -- and a time when women will NEED to ascend in ways they have never had to before . . . well, I think it's perfect!  And I'm excited to see what she does with her name and what namesake she leaves for future generations.

Everything you didn't want to know about my life . . .

First of all, welcome to Brianna Jane -- 7 lbs. 4 oz, 20 1/2 inches long, born at 6:26 a.m. on Sept. 29 after way too many hours of labor, particularly in this hospital (oh to be divinely blessed to have a baby at Gritman again!!!! *sigh*).  And she is an angel, a jewel, the most chillax baby ever, and keeper of the newly-grown segment of mommy's heart.  We love love LOVE her and cannot imagine life without her, even though I am still self-confessing to have a hard time imagining life WITH her.  It's going to be a CRAZY, crazy ride!!!  I really hope the chillax-ed-ness stays, cuz with her older brother and sister, I'm going to need it!  Heck, we're ALL going to need the balance!!!

Second of all, I feel like life the past week has been a living hell.  Yes, I just wrote that "out loud" and even used "that word."  And both after describing our new little angel as an angel and totally chillax and the BEST BABY EVER!!!  Let me expound.

About 10 days before Brianna was born, Abby started screaming in the supermarket -- the kind of scream that isn't a two-year-old tantrum and that no mother could ever ignore.  And it didn't stop.  For hours.  After a way-too-long wait at "Quick Care" (like three hours), all with a screaming-in-pain toddler and me nine and a half plus months pregnant, carrying her up and down the hall with a diaper bag full of toys and books to keep her happy during our wait (none of which ever left my bag or distracted her from her obvious pain), we learned she had a double ear infection.  Awesome.  Got the prescription, got the drugs, headed home for another sleepless night of crying and trying home remedies to calm her down and almost setting the house on fire (pretty sure I already wrote about all of this somewhere).  Thought that was the end of another ear infection story.

Fast forward a few days -- Sunday.  We were in the mother's lounge, just trying to get through with the twins, when I got distracted by another new mommy in the ward. I'm still trying to make all the friends I can and find my niche.  And it was great fun until . . . Abby started screaming in pain!!!  Isaac had got her fingers caught on the inside of the shower stall door.  Look away for two seconds . . . . The nursery leader brought her to me an hour or so later and told me she was pretty sure Abby had dislocated her finger because she wasn't using it, it was swolen to her knuckles, and she cried whenver anyone touched it.  Awesome.  Back to Quick Care.  Good news: Same doctor as diagnosed her ear infection; Isaac didn't have one, Abby's was almost all cleared up; the finger was fine!!!  Home again, home again, jiggidy-jig.  To Daddy who was home sick from church.

About five days before Brianna was born, Dave started with cold chills and a fever.  I can't remember if he missed work this time around or not.  It all blends together already.  But needless to say, I was wondering if I was going to have a baby by myself while my husband nursed a fever and my mom watched two crazy toddlers.  And it wasn't looking too promising.  Then two days before, he said the fevers had stopped; he was fine.  We could have her anytime.  Perfect.  Thought that was the end of another Dave-fevers-aches-exhaustion-missing-work-or-church story.

Brianna was born!  It wasn't as relaxing as Gritman had made having a baby.  It wasn't ideal in any sense of the word.  There was no mommy-daddy-new-family-bonding or rest and relaxation while the nurses watched the baby for the first 48 hours and treated the new couple to one last meal all their own by candlelight.  Nope - cuz this hospital leaves the baby with you all the time and doesn't do anything special like that.  But that's another story.  SO -- as Dave and I are trying desperately to get some sleep, keep up with a nameless baby Jane, document every feeding, how long, which side, what kind of diaper came from it, at what time, blah, blah, blah.  And while the nurses kept coming in (or sending someone in) every hour to check on me and keep up with their regulations to incessantly come in and wake me up just to be able to write down how I was sleeping and doing and feeling.  And while the birth certificate lady kept calling us to find out what we were naming our little girl and if we needed a book of names and "I'll bring one right up" and then keep calling you until you make a decision.  And while the breastfeeding expert finished her entire schpeal even as I was struggling more to keep my eyes open than you would in the most boring lecture EVER after only a few hours of sleep in the preceding 72 hours.  And while the wall let out a high-pitched squeal every time someone next door turned on the water in either sink or flushed the toilet or anything.  And while you thought someone else was coming in every time anyone opened a door on either side of your room because it shook and banged your door EVERY SINGLE TIME . . . .

While all of this and more was going on, Dave started getting a sore throat (again) and a horribly throbbing headache.  And kept trying to get some sleep on the makeshift bed in my room.  About noon-ish, after no sleep for two days, he decided to run home and shower and change and steal a quick nap before coming back to get through one more night in the hospital. (Baby Jane was jaundicey and not eating and producing like they thought she should, so they wouldn't really let us go home -- or so we thought at the time).  And he left me with the strict instructions that I was to have a name chosen by the time he got back (I had Samantha, Natalie, and Naomi for approved first names and his stamp of approval on Jane and Grace for middle names -- so I got to draw the lucky combination from a hat and make a decision before he got back -- lucky me!  you can see how well THAT went!).

Meanwhile, back at the Motel-6-disguised-as-the-Palace, I decided I had HAD it with this hospital, staff, hourly visits to make sure I was sleeping and that Baby Jane was peeing and pooping on schedule while I was getting my rest, etc.  So I told them I wanted to go home NOW.  Dave didn't get the memo until later, but I really didn't care anymore.  I vented to one nurse who told the Charge nurse who called the pediatrician and OB.  Dave came back a few hours later, having spent some one-on-one time playing with the twins instead of napping, and we got back to the business of choosing a name so they would let us leave with our "Baby Jane."

Oh, but I forgot to mention that just after Dave got back, he told me he'd had a horrible cough hit and should get a mask from the nurse's station.  Which he did.  And while he was doing that, my mom called and asked me if Dave had mentioned that Abby was broken out all over her body with 1/4" hives and that she was struggling to breathe so much that mom was really worried about her.  No.  He didn't mention either of those things.  Huh.  I pointd mom towards the inhaler on Abby's dresser, was informed by Dave that her hives weren't "that bad" and to not worry too much.  And the birth certificate lady called.  And we were back to choosing a name.

We finally did choose.  And got home.  And Abby's "no big deal" hives were getting worse.  As was Dave's cough.  So we sent Dave and Abby to "Quick Care" and got Isaac in bed and started to settle new baby Brianna Jane into her new home.  And we waited.  And I started to worry about how late it was and how tired Dave was and how early his morning and long his day at work were going to be.  And we waited.  And I called Quick Care and was told they couldn't give me any information -- which I insisted was garbage and pressed further until she told me they must be back with the doctor because she didn't see them in the waiting room.  And we waited.  And four hours later, they came home and announced:

"Abby doesn't have chicken pox but is deathly allergic to amoxicillin -- like the last dose you skipped when she was having a hard time breathing could have cut her off entirely. I, on the other hand, have an upper-respiratory infection, a double ear infection, and strep throat."

Gasp. sigh. cry. stare in disbelief and amazement. escort new baby to bedroom to never leave again.

I couldn't believe it!  It was horrible!  And he's been there from birth to Quick Care visit.  He even cut her umbilical chord.  Totally exposed.  Wow.

But at least Abby got some benedryl and a prescrpition for the next few days and was going to be okay.  Or so we thought.

Dave locked himself in the office (where he still sits today, sometimes lays, on his ever-so-comfie cot), my mom and I started spraying and disinfecting everything in sight, and we restlessly went to bed.

We got Abby's medicine a little late the next day.  So imagine our amazement when a few hours later, she was totally and completely . . . . no, not healed, BROKEN OUT AGAIN!!!  This time the hives were so close on her arms that they were just large lumps.  And on her hands and ears and feet and legs.  And she was pale and swollen all over . . . and an absolute bear!!!  What. the. heck.  With General Conference playing on the internet in the background, I called the Pediatric Allergist and got a prescription of . . . some really powerful medicine.  And we were instructed to bring her in on Monday.

Monday I got Dave in to see a doctor because when I took Brianna in for a jaundice check and me in for a whooping cough vaccine and strep throat check, the doctor told us that it was almost medically impossible for Dave to have strep while on antibiotics for his tooth extraction a week or so before.  So I talked to my friend Emily and my mom and decided he had mono.  But when he went to Quick Care Sunday night, they told him they wouldn't test him for mono because his joints didn't ache.  So I got him in to see the doctor Monday after work.  And they tested him for strep.  And were blown away that the test was positive.  And wouldn't test him for mono but told him to finish out his second, double-strength prescirption of amoxicillin and come back if things didn't improve.  Pins and needles all week long, much hand-washing, hand sanitizer everywhere, etc.

Tuesday we took Abby to the doctor - and her allergy was cleared up.  But her double ear infection was not.  And she had either Fifth Disease or . . . well, he tested her for strep.  Good news! She had strep!  No need to go back for a nasty blood draw that afternoon.  Nope. Isaac and I just got to go back for a strep test that afternoon.  And Isaac tested positive.  One shot in Abby's leg and two prescriptions later, we thought we were finally over the hump!

Until Dave went to the doctor today because he has only gotten worse.  And was told that the long test had come back negative for strep.  So he has a virus.  And they drew blood to test for mono.

But what the heck?  How do Abby and Isaac have strep when Dave has mono . . . .

Or do they all have something else entirely?

Here we sit like birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness.  Here we sit like birds in the wilderness . . . waiting for our food.

Oh, and Abby got some cold virus in all her office visits.  Which, in spite of all of my best efforts and keeping Brianna behind locked doors almost 24/7, not even touching her in the same clothes I had been wearing outside of my bedroom -- Brianna now has.

And my mom flies home on Wednesday.  And I'm praying we have this all figured out/straightened out by then.  Praying . . . praying . . . praying . . . praying.  Please join me!!!!

Who would have ever thought that bringing home a new baby would be the LEAST stressful part of my week?

Like I said, she's an angel . . . an absolute gem!!!

Wanted: Advice!

So we are in our last month of pregnancy.  And, as usual, the thing weighing the most on my mind is my twins and how this is all going to work for them.  I can kind of remember the things I struggled with the most when I brought my babies home from the hospital, and many of those things will be diminished or non-existant with one baby instead of two.  HOWEVER, a newborn is still a newborn.  And toddlers will be toddlers.  So many of the "I wish I would have . . . ." things I have read and rememberd are pretty much null and void because I realize I WILL have two OTHER children still.  And I won't, for example, be resting when the baby rests because the two-year-olds DON'T do rests but once a day, sometimes not at the same time, despite my best efforts, and for periods from 30 minutes to an hour and a half. (I haven't been lucky enough to have kids that take one two-to-three hour nap in the afternoon . . . EVERY afternoon!  Bless you who do!!!  I can't imagine how that ONE THING would completely change my LIFE!!!)

So for those of you wise sages out there who have been down the road of bringing a newborn home when you have a toddler (or two) waiting for you to come back and just be Mommy, what advice do you have for me?

Some things I've thought about:
* I'm making schedules up for anyone (Daddy, Grandma) that comes so the twins will still have some sort of routine -- eating routine, bedtime routine, morning routine, etc.
* I'm making a menu for the first month (or two, if I can) and hope to have freezer meals for a lot of it.  I even thought today that I might ask if any sisters in my Relief Society would mind putting together freezer meals if I get them recipes and all of the ingredients, cuz let's face it - I still don't have a TON of time on my hands right now to be spending in the kitchen!!!
* I've stocked up on diapers and wet wipes for newborn AND toddlers that will keep up from going to the store for the essentials -- nope, didn't do the environmental thing of cloth diapers with the twins, and now I have lost all desire I may have once had to do so!  No offense!
* I'm planning a Spring Cleaning of the entire house over the next few weeks -- Daddy included, of course! :-)
* I've stocked up on shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, cleaning supplies, stain remover (for clothes), laundry detergent, toilet paper, and dishwashing detergent -- again, so we don't have to worry about going to the store for the "essentials" when we're so tired that we don't even want to leave the house!
* I'm trying to put together a list of activities to do with the kids every day -- to break up the monotony and help them feel like they are having special times and memories with grandmas and daddy and mommy along with the baby.

What else?  What am I not remembering or not thinking about here?  What are the things that you did or someone did for you that SAVED you?  What do you wish you had done the second time around but didn't learn until the third time around? 

Fortunately, we have a lot of room here in our California rental, so everything is pretty easily organized, though there are a few boxes we still need to get through and we are considering having a yard sale before the baby arrives.  However, that might just be one of those things that can -- of necessity -- wait.  I have also given up on the idea of getting all my unfinished project finished.  Just not in the cards right now.

So share, please!!!  And no, I don't have a decorated room all ready and haven't decided yet if I need to split the twins up into their own rooms or what.  We have a diaper changing table, we have a pack and play, and we have a bassinett -- all courtesy of garage sales and Craigs List.  And that is about all the "new" stuff we have.  Though I am going to buy that one new outfit and also plan on making her a flannel blanket. :-)