So we are in our last month of pregnancy. And, as usual, the thing weighing the most on my mind is my twins and how this is all going to work for them. I can kind of remember the things I struggled with the most when I brought my babies home from the hospital, and many of those things will be diminished or non-existant with one baby instead of two. HOWEVER, a newborn is still a newborn. And toddlers will be toddlers. So many of the "I wish I would have . . . ." things I have read and rememberd are pretty much null and void because I realize I WILL have two OTHER children still. And I won't, for example, be resting when the baby rests because the two-year-olds DON'T do rests but once a day, sometimes not at the same time, despite my best efforts, and for periods from 30 minutes to an hour and a half. (I haven't been lucky enough to have kids that take one two-to-three hour nap in the afternoon . . . EVERY afternoon! Bless you who do!!! I can't imagine how that ONE THING would completely change my LIFE!!!)
So for those of you wise sages out there who have been down the road of bringing a newborn home when you have a toddler (or two) waiting for you to come back and just be Mommy, what advice do you have for me?
Some things I've thought about:
* I'm making schedules up for anyone (Daddy, Grandma) that comes so the twins will still have some sort of routine -- eating routine, bedtime routine, morning routine, etc.
* I'm making a menu for the first month (or two, if I can) and hope to have freezer meals for a lot of it. I even thought today that I might ask if any sisters in my Relief Society would mind putting together freezer meals if I get them recipes and all of the ingredients, cuz let's face it - I still don't have a TON of time on my hands right now to be spending in the kitchen!!!
* I've stocked up on diapers and wet wipes for newborn AND toddlers that will keep up from going to the store for the essentials -- nope, didn't do the environmental thing of cloth diapers with the twins, and now I have lost all desire I may have once had to do so! No offense!
* I'm planning a Spring Cleaning of the entire house over the next few weeks -- Daddy included, of course! :-)
* I've stocked up on shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, cleaning supplies, stain remover (for clothes), laundry detergent, toilet paper, and dishwashing detergent -- again, so we don't have to worry about going to the store for the "essentials" when we're so tired that we don't even want to leave the house!
* I'm trying to put together a list of activities to do with the kids every day -- to break up the monotony and help them feel like they are having special times and memories with grandmas and daddy and mommy along with the baby.
What else? What am I not remembering or not thinking about here? What are the things that you did or someone did for you that SAVED you? What do you wish you had done the second time around but didn't learn until the third time around?
Fortunately, we have a lot of room here in our California rental, so everything is pretty easily organized, though there are a few boxes we still need to get through and we are considering having a yard sale before the baby arrives. However, that might just be one of those things that can -- of necessity -- wait. I have also given up on the idea of getting all my unfinished project finished. Just not in the cards right now.
So share, please!!! And no, I don't have a decorated room all ready and haven't decided yet if I need to split the twins up into their own rooms or what. We have a diaper changing table, we have a pack and play, and we have a bassinett -- all courtesy of garage sales and Craigs List. And that is about all the "new" stuff we have. Though I am going to buy that one new outfit and also plan on making her a flannel blanket. :-)
8 years ago
7 comments:
Oh my gosh. Reading your post has exhausted me! You are soooo prepared! But with twins you have to be (I would imagine). We ate lots of chicken nuggets and easy stuff for a while after we brought Scarlett home. I had a couple of freezer meals already but those were gone pretty fast.
I was scared to death to bring home a newborn with a toddler already at home. Chloe was almost 2 when her sister was born. I think I had myself so worked up that when she finally came home it wasn't that bad. The sleeplessness was really hard, it always is. Good idea to ask the RS for help in making meals.
Congratulations on #3! How long are you guys in CA? We are in upstate NY right now for another few months and then we'll go where the Navy needs us. Trevor's going to go out on subs.
Good luck with everything. Just remember that God gave you your children for a specific reason. You and your husband are the best parents for the 2, almost 3, of them. You are doing a great job and things will all settle down once you get your new baby home (might not settle down for a month or so, but eventually it will).
I asked the RS to take Evalie for play dates a couple times a week for two or three weeks. That way I got some just me and baby time. I got to take a shower and clean up a bit, nap if need be, go to doctor appointments. I made 6 freezer meals, that I didn't end up needing as desperately as I thought. And I also realized this is an adjusting time for all 4 of us and that each will deal with it in their own way. Evalie definitely had some adjusting but she got through it and she did a great job. The hardest part to me and still is, is leaving the house with two children, but you've already been there. You'll do great and then it will be over and then you'll realize your baby is 5 months old and that's crazy.
Sounds like you've thought of a lot of things. Almost everything. Except one. Though things will be very busy (though you got a good start with your twins) with 3, remember to enjoy every minute with this little one. Sure, you may not be able to "sleep when the baby sleeps" like you used to (but with twins, could you ever do that?) or stay in your bed all day cuddling, nursing and caressing. But try and take in as much as you can. Because this babe will ONLY be a babe once. For a brief passing moment. And - as you have mentioned before - you know how quick and fleeting it is.
Just enjoy it! It may be crazy but it is Life. YOUR family life. And what can be better than that?!?
I obviously have no experience to add, and you are undoubtedly an attentive and dedicated mom, so my only advice: offer them the best, remembering that the best includes a mother who has recharged her own batteries once in a while. No amount of preparation makes a perfect parent, but you'll raise them more than well enough to deal with their imperfect upbringing and to see how much you loved them (in both the affection sense and in the action sense). :-) You're awesome, Melinda! You'll continue to be an excellent mommy not because you're perfect but because you so clearly care and strive!
P.S. Yes, I know you know all of that. :-) I wish y'all the best with the new little one and making the transition as smooth as possible!
so some things that I did not see on your list and not sure what your plans are or how you do after delivery...I would add breast pads and lanoline (sp) if you are planing on breastfeeding.
not sure about the neighborhood you live in but, get a small rope and tie two knots in it a ok distance apart and start teaching your two children to hold onto the knot.. go on small walks with the baby in a stroller and them walking, practice holding the knots walking around the house and in stores, ect. if you teach it now.. you will not have to worry as much about them wandering off.. not that this stops it but it can make it easier.
rent or have some short movies on hand that they love and when you know you are just way too tired put it in and lay on the couch. It does not make you a bad mom.. it makes you a practical one :) having friends and family help is great.. crying is always ok.. sometimes necessary. coloring books and crayons are a great distraction. Also, buy each of child something that is special for them to bring home from the hospital.. most choose a baby doll with a little bag or something.. Micah was not a fan and so we got him a truck.. he loved it! I remind them to find those toys when they need distraction and I need a minute. a bouncy chair, swing and some sort of front pack are helpful to free up full hand for toddlers also.
good luck.. you can do it.
-karen
I have a great idea!!! Send the twins to Idaho for the first 2 months so that you and the newborn can truley have the bonding experience that each of you deserve. The twins will have a great time and it will give you a much needed break!! Just sayin :)
Post a Comment