My Little Helper

I just need to brag about my Abby-girl today.  That little girl is 3 going on 20!  It's like she has grown up over night, budded and blossomed without me even realizing anything was happening.  A few highlights:
~ Whenever there is laundry to be folded, in the last week or so she is right there as soon as I bring it in, asking if she can please help and beaming with pride when she folds something!  I need to get one of those cardboard folding stations.  My mom has one and my nieces just LOVE it! Of course, I would need two -- maybe three! ;-D
~ Every day, she is in the kitchen asking me if she can help me make the meal.  And she is so excited about it!  She actually falls apart, like her heart is aching at the thought of being excluded, if I don't JUMP on her invitation to help.
~ The other day I realized she had been in the bathroom a bit longer than normal and went in to find her with the bucket out from under the sink, the floor soaking wet with water.  I was a little miffed by the mess and asked her what in the world she was doing.  She said, "Mom, I'm just cleaning the floor!"
~ Tonight a very tired and wired Isaac hit a very tired Brianna while I was getting Abby out of the tub and dried off.  I immediately went in to get Bria next and wrapped her up tightly in her butterfly towel.  When I unwrapped her to put her diaper on her, she fell apart!  So I wrapped her back up and just held her for a minute.  She calmed right down.  Then a naked Abby ran over to me and said, "Oh, sweet Brianna.  I so sorry you got hurt.  Mommy, can I please cuddle and rock Brianna, too?"  So I took Bria and put her in Abby's arms, me having to hold half of her because she really is more than half Abby's size and way too big for Abby to cuddle like a baby. Abby just nuzzled up next to her forehead and closed her eyes before kissing her temple softly.  The sweet look on her face was priceless, and Brianna was LOVING it!  Then Abby looked up and said, "Mommy, I sure wish I had a baby!" LOL! She is just so good and so sweet with Brianna.  They literally NEVER fight -- NEVER!  Isaac and Bria are getting there as well -- he's learning to be a little less rough and tumble and Brianna is learning she doesn't have to have her arms out in defense every time Isaac comes near her!  But Abby -- she is just a little mother heart and really loves her little sister! (And the other morning, she out of the blue said to Dave, "Daddy, do you think we need more babies?"  And then she answered him that we probably did.  How old is she again?  Where is this coming from?  I guess her favorite little boy in Primary just got a new baby brother -- so maybe that's it.)
~ Isaac went outside, half naked, no shoes, without even telling me he was going.  That is a big no-no around here, for obvious reasons!  So I put him in his room in time out, explaining that he didn't ask if he could go outside and he wasn't even dressed to be out there.  Abby asked if she could go out, and I was a little frazzled from Isaac and told her no.  As I was cleaning in the kitchen, I turned around from the kitchen table a few minutes later to see Abby, completely dressed in a clean shirt, pants, and socks, putting her shoes on.  I sad, "Abby?  What are you doing?  Why did you change your shirt and get dressed?"  She told me she wanted to go outside.  I told her that I thought I already said no to that.  She very matter-of-factly, in a voice that said, "Mom, you are being ridiculous and we both know it, but I'm trying to be nice here and not point it out," told me -- "But I thought you'd say yes!" I laughed!  She burst into a smile and laughed with me, then she said, "Now can I go outside?" Of course EVERYONE ended up going outside and playing for an hour before naptime and an hour after!  Abby built a "nest" out of grass and dandelion "flowers" for the baby eggs to rest in.  Isaac broke her heart when he kicked it to pieces because, "But Mom, there ARE no baby eggs!" And I tried to mend it when she fell apart. Then they took turns on the slide, the trampoline, and riding the bike around the patio. In other words, it was a PERFECT "Spring" day for being outside and I am so glad that she lovingly put me in my place when I was, in fact, being utterly ridiculous!

The Way of a Child: Unconditional, Forgiving Love

I wrote yesterday about what a hit the shiny mylar balloons were that I got for Abby and Isaac.  To say they loved those balloons with heart and soul would be an understatement!  They played with, ran with, sat with, hit back and forth with, and ultimately slept with those balloons.  And they held them during every activity they did today.

Then this afternoon, Isaac and Abby took their balloons outside to play for the third time today.  They had been fighting non-stop for the hour and a half before they went out, so I was hoping the outdoor air would help cool them down (and me take a time out to get sane).  They were running around and the balloons got tangled, for the third time.  But this time, instead of slowing down and getting them untangled, Isaac pulled really hard and started running away from Abby with both balloons.  Well, Abby caught up and pulled her balloon back, and before I could intervene, Isaac's balloon snapped off the ribbon and was gone. 

Oh boy did he cry over that one!  Each tear got less and less consolable as we watched that blue star slowly drift up into the sky until it was out of sight.  As his crying bordered hysteria, I told him we couldn't get it back, that it was going up to heaven so Great Grandma could play the balloon game with kids in heaven.  Great Grandma was famous for playing the balloon game with Abby and Isaac each and every visit.  But Isaac kept crying!!! 

He pleaded with me to get it back, saying that we needed Daddy to get it in his airplane -- that he loved and needed that balloon and to please have daddy get it in his airplane.  And then he cried some more. 

Abby tried consoling him, repeating my explanation that it was gone up to heaven with Great Grandma.  But it didn't help.  Then suddenly she said, "Isaac?  You want my bawoon?" 

Isaac, pausing for a minute as if to assess if she was sincere, said, ". . . Yeah." 

"Okay Isaac - you can have my bawoon, but no yet go, no go up to Great Grandma.  Okay, Isaac?"  As soon as he got it, the little stinker said, "Oops," and let go of the balloon.  Fortunately, it still had the weight on the end of it.  Abby immediately grabbed it, saying, "No - no, Isaac!  No yet it go up be Great Grandma!"  Then she paused just a millisecond before saying, "You want it back, Isaac?"  Isaac said, "Yeah." 

Abby reached out to give it to him with the instructions, "Okay - but hold tight, Isaac - not want be up in sky, no want be go Great Grandma, okay?" 

And then they played together for the first time in two hours!!!  And by played together, I mean they weren't fighting and screaming and hitting, and slamming doors in each other's faces -- they were just playing together and enjoying it.

I was so proud that Abby let him play with her balloon when just moments before he had lost his balloon while trying to keep Abby's balloon from her!  And I was even more proud of her that even when he deliberately tried to throw her balloon up to the sky because if he couldn't have one, she didn't get one either, instead of getting mad and keeping the thing he wanted from him, she showed compassion for how hurt his feelings were and immediately offered it again with the same instructions that he care for it as much as she would if she were holding it to keep it from flying up in the sky to be with Great Grandma!

Man, adults could learn SO MUCH from children sometimes, couldn't they?  Unfortunately, those who need to hear it the most will read it with people who have wronged them in mind, while those who have wronged them are also reading it with the people who wronged them in mind.  But the true grown-up acts like a child, and instead of seeing corrections that need to be made in others, they simply see a need and react to fill that need. 

It was definitely wrong for Isaac to selfishly try to throw away Abby's balloon -- but I don't think I can put into words what a grown-up and compassionate reaction she returned to him in returning the very valuable possession he had just tried to ensure neither of them would ever play with again!

I'm proud of you, Ab!  I hope you will always have that wisdom and compassion and always turn the other cheek and give yourself and others an opportunity to repent, to forgive, to forget, and to be best friends instead of misunderstanding and misunderstood enemies!!!

This Isn't Working For Me

While I was loading the dishwasher yesterday, Abby came in and - from out of the blue, with the most serious look and most adult tone-of-voice -- said to me, "Mom, this isn't really working for me right now."  Huh?  Brief moment of silence while I gathered my thoughts.

"What isn't working for you, Ab?"

Exasperated sigh, roll of the eyes, intense look on her face that said, "Ugh, MOM! Do I really have to spell it out for you?"  But she simply said, "THIS!"

Thanks for clearing that up for me. "This? What is this?"

Again the look.  "THIS!!!!!" This time, she reached her arm up in a sweep and pointed from wall to ceiling to wall.

Wow - where did you ever hear that expression and how am I actually having this conversation with my three-year-old? "This . . . . house?"

Immediately her face changed to one of excitement!  Her eyes gleamed, her brows lifted, her smile lit up the entire room. "Uh-huh!"  I don't know if I had really gotten what she was saying or if I had given her something she could work with, but whichever it was, she was happy.  Then she said, "I just really want to go back to Grandpa's house!"  Ah.  Grandpa's house.  The cows.  And horses. And chickens. And real live cats. The garden and picking fresh strawberries. The acres of land to roam and wander. The family walks down country roads.

I explained to her that we really couldn't go to Grandpa's house right now.  But that we would get all of that someday. 

Someday.

I have been thinking about the future - that dreamlike state of mind that sometimes feels so distant I feel like I'd as soon capture a cloud as reach it.  And sometimes it seems so real I have to remind myself that it isn't.  It's easy to get caught up in what you don't have but know you love and want.  Like Grandpa's house!  And it's good to have those moments.  To say at times, "This isn't really working for me right now!"  Because those moments help you define what you really want, what matters the most, what WILL work for you!  And I am a FIRM believer in CREATING the life and conditions you want.  If it is attainable and you really want it, find a way to have it.  Do NOT sit back and wait for things to change or someone to hand it to you.  Do NOT sit back and tell yourself it isn't something you can have, that it is out of reach.  Because the moment you tell yourself that is the moment you are right.  The moment you reject that thought, or the moment you extract it from your mind, is the moment you create a setting for successfully becoming and doing what you most desire in life!

But sometimes you also just have to say, "This is my reality right now and there's nothing I can do about it, so I might as well live, laugh, and love it!"  That isn't conceding.  That's accepting what is real WHILE YOU WORK TO CREATE what is ideal!

Yesterday I spent hours putting together meals-from-scratch that I can freeze to create my own freezer meals for skillet or crockpot preparation on those "crunch" days.  Okay, every day seems to be a crunch day!!! ;-D  I've spent the last few weeks emptying my freezer of all of the "fast-food"-style freezer food.  No worries - I didn't throw it in the garbage!  We actually ate it.  We don't have money to just throw stuff away.  But we were rotating it out . . . for good!  From Weight Watchers to Lean Quisine.  Processed is out.  Made-from-scratch with ingredients I can recognize, those that will actually mold or spoil if left out, is in.  That is a change I can create right now!  That is a goal I can accomplish!  Granted, I only finished one dish.  But if I do 14 servings of one dish every day, or every other day, pretty soon I'll have QUITE the freezer full of DELICIOUS food!

And I'll have weeded out for good just one thing in my life that "isn't really working for me right now."

The Things You Say . . . are Unforgettable!

Abby and Isaac got started on our long haul to update them on their shots about two weeks ago now.  Isaac had the HARDEST time - I could hear him screaming in the waiting room!  Abby did a lot better.  Dave said she cried, but she handled it in stride and didn't even have to be "wrestled" to the table.  When Isaac and I went back in to get Abby -- first of all, I was VERY impressed that Isaac went back in.  He was actually REALLY concerned about Abby and Brianna.  And then I saw Abby and gave her a hug and she said, "Mommy - that doctor not very nice!  He NOT listen and obey!" Of course we had the talk that the doctor didn't hurt them, the shots did; but the shots are to help them not get sick.  But it was SO cute the way her mind worked!

The other night we were kneeling for prayer.  Isaac wanted his shark!  And of course, we don't have toys during prayer time.  But it really disturbed him that he didn't know where to find it and we wouldn't just jump up and go look for it for him.  Finally he calmed down for prayer.  Daddy prayed, Abby prayed, and when it was Isaac's turn he simply said, "Heavenly Father - I very sad - name of Jesus Kist, amen."  After that, we searched the whole house over to find that shark!

Abby and Isaac were eating dinner last night. We have a rule now that we sit at the table for a half hour with them.  Then, if they don't want to eat - they can get down.  And if they want to keep eating, they can but we can then get up and start cleaning up.  It saves a LOT of contention and just makes the whole mealtime experience feel so much nicer!  As I loaded the dishwasher, Isaac was done and got down and started to play.  Abby was not, however, and WANTED to keep eating.  But Isaac started taunting her with his toys, trying to get her to come and chase him and play with him.  She scolded him for that, "No - Isaac - I still eating, Isaac!"  Then he grabbed her favorite toy -- her horsey!  And she fell apart.  Through her tears, once I got her to settle down a little bit, she told him, "Isaac - you makin' me sad!"

I was having a hard time finding something to wear this morning for church -- yep, still fighting through those fun pregnancy pounds!!!  At one point, I tried on something and yelled when it didn't fit.  Isaac was in the bathroom and said, "Uh-oh.  What happened?"  I told him that I couldn't find anything to wear because nothing was fitting me.  He pointed to a skirt and said, "How 'bout THIS one?"  I said, "This one?" and pointed to it.  He said, "Yep - yes. There you go, Mommy!  It fit you!"  His triumphant smile was unforgettable!!!  He just KNEW he had solved all my problems and was the best son in the world for having done it.  Of course, it also made me smile!

As I got ready for church today, Isaac and Abby came into the closet singing, "Follow the Prophet" as they followed each other in circles around me.  Then Isaac took the blocks he was holding in his hand and put them, one on top of the other, on the counter next to me.  He got really excited and yelled, "Look, Mommy!  Temple!"  I said, "Is that the temple?" half laughing at his creativity.  And he smiled that "I'm so proud of myself" smile and said, "Yep - that's the temple!" and then laughed like he had said the funniest thing in the world - then he left.  A few minutes later he came back in and said, "Mommy, please make-em Isaac hair handsome."  And so we did!

Dave decided we were going to camp in our back yard, since we have been rained out and stormed out and distanced out of every other camping trip we have planned in the last few months.  He took a VERY proud Isaac out back to help him set up the tent.  And that became a fun fort for the rest of the day!  Then, just before dinner, we were going out to grill chicken sausages and noticed the VERY dark, looming clouds!  Another one bites the dust!  But we're determined!  We'll make it one of these times!

Not Very Nice . . .

Isaac grabbed an apple out of the drawer while I was making dinner.  It was HUGE and I didn't want it wasted, so I took it to cut it in half.  Abby decided she wanted an apple, too.  In spite of the many times I said, "No, Abby, you can't have an apple," and tried to explain to her that I was cutting Isaac's for her to share, she kept cutting me off in protest because she wanted an apple.  I finally just said, "No, Abby - okay?  You can't get another apple, so close the refrigerator door!"  She slammed it shut and then pouted and gave me that look to kill all other looks and stormed off with, "Mom - that's not very nice!"

Well - I guess she's hearing one thing that I keep trying to teach her! :-0

While You Were Sleeping

Abby finally got wrestled to sleep at around 11:30 last night. She was exhausted but wouldn't stop moving to let herself sleep.

Isaac woke up at 12:30, along with Brianna - Mom was still downstairs, so I called her on her cell phone and asked her to bring milk up with her because he said he wanted milk.

2:00 a.m., a crying Isaac climbs in bed with me and says, "Mommy, please have some milk?" I tried to stave him off, ignore him, cuddle with him, but he just cried and cried. Then he started saying that his leg hurt. Every time I tried to cover him with a blanket, he screamed and said "hurt leg, hurt leg" and he would guide my hand to where it hurt, so I would massage it for a while and then try still to get him to sleep. But he kept asking for milk. Mom said he was also tugging on his ear.  Why not?  He's only been on antibiotics for seven of the ten days. I finally gave in, went downstairs to get him milk and ibuprofen for the ear and apparent growing pains and went back upstairs.

To a wide awake and crying Brianna. I fed her again. Then I asked a still-fussy Isaac if he was hungry. He said yes. Mom said not to go downstairs to just give him to her to cuddle and drink his milk. I said, "No- he says he is hungry and I'm going to make him the freakin' sandwich. I'm NOT doing this every two hours for the rest of the night." First time I can remember saying freakin' in my life. I made him a PB sandwich.

When I came back upstairs with it, he was crawling all over the bed, hyper as hyper, playing with Brianna, and Abby was awake. Wow! Awesome.

He devoured the sandwich. Abby said she wanted one. Back downstairs to make Abby a sandwich. Got up with it, she said she didn't want it. Just wanted milk and to cuddle. Grandma ate the sandwich.  I changed Abby's diaper, put them both back in their beds. It took about another half hour to get them from climbing in and out of each other's beds, hitting each other, laughing, tickling each other, etc. Then Abby asked for another sandwich and I told her no to just go to sleep. Oh. the. patience. But I finally got them to go to sleep and held Brianna's hands down and rubbed her tummy to get her to sleep. That was around 4:00 this morning.

I had dreams of rats attacking me and my sister shunning me. Not very restful.

Brianna woke up crying at 5:20.
And at 8:00 this morning, Abby was WIDE.AWAKE. Woke everyone else up, of course, asking for breakfast and milk. I spent ten minutes forcing her to eat the Lucky Charms in her bowl.  NEVER thought I'd be doing THAT! 

Her eyes have black circles under them and when I was changing her diaper last night I noticed a small rash appearing on her stomach - little tiny bumps. I have no idea if those are from the medicine for her double ear infection or what. Something's up, though. You think? ;-D
 
And yesterday Isaac told me he was running away.  Which he repeated to me this morning as I gave him breakfast.  I said, "Who is running away?"  He proudly patted his chest and said, "Isaac run away!"  I said, "Oh, no! Is he running back, too?"  He got excited and his eyes lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July - I mean, it was sounding like I was on board and it involves running afterall.  "Yeah - I run back, too!"  Perfect!  His five-year-old niece who really turned 13 instead of five on her last birthday taught him that.  Fortunately he has no idea what it means.  Safe for now.

I was checking on Brianna and trying to find her lost pacifier when Mom called me on her cell phone and said she needed me downstairs.  What is up?  Oh, Madison and Abby were playing instead of getting dressed and Madi got her foot stuck in between the bed and the wall and it might be broken.  So she's in the chair until her mom gets home from work to take her to the doctor. Looks like a movie day for us - yay!

Grandma took the dogs out for their morning potty break.  She called me from the kitchen to go and see that my kids, Abby dressed only in her diaper and Isaac without shoes or socks, had gone and gotten towels and blankets to sit on the steps and watch grandma with the dogs because, "Mommy, we cold!"

My mother-in-law called while I was trying to finish getting everyone else breakfast and before I could finish my conversation with her, Abby had dumped her yogurt in a nice pile on the table and began finger painting her chest and arms with it. 

I cleaned that up and realized that I had left Brianna upstairs for a minute . . . about an hour before!  I ran up to get her and bring her down. My foot hadn't hit the bottom step on my way back down before I had a huge blow-out on my hands.  Quite literally.  I hit the floor running but was stopped dead in my tracks by an open deepfreeze door and the twins standing in front of it, a box of pretzels on one side of them, the bag of frozen pretzels on the other, both of them saying they wanted one.

After last night, I'm letting them eat almost anything they ask for.

I pick up the pretzels and am quickly reminded of the blowout.  By the time I get it cleaned up and the pretzel cooked, they've totally lost interest.

But Isaac did find a half-full 44 oz cup of water to drink . . . and spill all over Grandma's hard wood floors!  Glad I caught that earlier rather than later.

And all of that between 11:00 last night and 11:00 this morning.

And yes, I edited myself a few times to keep some not-so-choice words from leaving my brain through my mouth.

Stick a fork in me a week ago. This is just burnt to a crisp!

Please, Mom

Abby in the middle of the night last night: Mom - Beenana cwying.  Please feed her, mom.  Mom?  Please, mom - please feed her!

Me: I'm working on it, Ab - thanks for worrying so much about her.  Now go back to sleep.

Abby: Okay, Mom.  Goodnight, Mom!  I love you, Momma!

Me: I love you, too, Abby!

What a sweetie!

Isaac this mornin with a hair claw in his hand - he walked up to me and said, "Mom - what's that?" as he tried to pinch it onto my skin.
Me: Ow, Isaac - that hurts!
Isaac, as he pats my arm: Sorry Mom - sorry!

Isaac in my brother's arms just before they closed the casket this morning - my brother sobbing: Uh-oh.  What the matter? It okay, Owun - it okay!
He wiped his cheek with his hand and patted his arm.

What a sweetie!

Moments after I found out my grandma was going to pass away in a matter of hours, I walked into the kitchen behind my children - both headed eagerly to the pantry to get their Vitamin C.  I was sobbing.  Their eager shrills of excitement stopped abruptly when they turned around and saw the uncontrollable tears streaming down my cheeks.

Abby: Uh-oh!  Mommy - what happen?  You okay?  C'mere. It okay, sweetie!  It okay!
She gave me a huge, tender bear hug and put her cheek against mine as she took her little hand to wipe the tears away.  I smiled/laughed and gave her a big hug and said thank you!

Isaac: Mom - it's okay, Mommy!  It's okay.  What wong?

Me: Guys, Great-grandma is really sick.  She's at the hospital with the doctors, but she is really sick.  Really sick.

Abby (very matter-of-factly): Gate gamma sick - need to go doctor.  Her ear hurt - need medicine.  Need go doctor.

I laughed and said, "She is at the doctor, Abby, but it looks like she is going to go to live with Heavenly Father for a while to wait for us in heaven."

Abby took a second to process it and then said, "Mom - lets go - lets go find him [her]."

They are so great!  I love them so much!

Mommy, I WET!!!

We went to a birthday party today.  My first ever (that I can remember) in a pizza/game place - or any public place for that matter. There were TONS of people there -- lots of games for people to do.  It was . . . okay, I'm not going to lie.  It was overwhelming and made me think that I never, never, never want to have a birthday party for any of my kids in a place like that!  The amazing hostess paid for pizza and salad and drinks for EVERYONE -- plus tokens to play the games there.  And the super cute cake from Costco.  And then as we're leaving, she whips out these little baggies of goodies for each of the kids that came - candy, water pistols, bubbles, etc.  Whoa!  Since when did you give US something for coming to celebrate YOUR son's birthday party?  Especially after YOU paid for food, drinks, AND game tokens?  I asked her if that was normal - she said they'd always done it at every birthday party she had ever been to with her kids.  This is a mixed-up world!  I've never seen or heard of that being done among ANY of my friends in Idaho.  Must be a California thing.  Thank people who came to your child's birthday party.  Hmmmm . . . I don't get it.  But she was so gracious and did such an amazing job!

Highlight of the party?  Abby spilled her drink on her pants.  Then she told me.  Then I told her it was okay and it would dry.  Then I got food and drinks and utensils for everyone and was just about to sit down when I looked across the table and saw Abby standing on her chair, taking her pants off.  The strangers around us noticed. And giggled. And commented on her little stiriptease for the birthday party. And that she apparently needed to go to the bathroom and didn't care where she was or who was looking. I tried to explain that she spilled water and really doesn't like to be wet at ALL - like even a few drops of water on her sleeve make her change her shirt - yep tried to explain all of that as I ran around the table to her to pull her pants back on, and she just kept saying over and over, "Mommy, I WET!" Poor girl - she almost started to cry.  Then I grabbed the napkins and started to try to soak up the drink.  It worked - she left her pants on. Thank goodness.

Whew - I guess that wasn't as funny on paper as I thought.  But it was funny in the moment.  Really. I promise. 

Prayer for Great Grandma

My 94-year-old grandma is in the hospital again!  Nothing serious -- she is often there for one thing or another and then quickly (as in the usual 12-hour ER visit quickly) sent home.  Abby came in and saw my phone and said she wanted to talk to Grandma.  I said, "She's in the hospital with Great Grandma.  Great Grandma is sick."  Abby said she wanted to talk to Great Grandma.  So we called, and Abby got to talk to both of them.

Then Great Grandma started to cough.  Abby immediately said, "You okay, gate gamma?"  She told Abby that yes, she was okay, just had some things in her lungs.  Then Grandma asked Abby to sing Great Grandma a song.  Abby sang "I Love to See the Temple" - then immediately she started to whisper a prayer and then said, "Prayer, Great Grandma?"  Both grandmas said okay and Abby said her usual prayer - "Heavenly Father, thank-oo this day; thank-oo me famee, please bless" and then I cut her off and told her to bless Great Grandma to get better, and she did, and she ended her prayer.  It was very, very sweet!  She was so proud!

I'm thankful she got to have an experience so young where she got to pray with someone for their needs in the moment when she found out they had some.  She doesn't know that yet, but with practice and time, she'll learn to understand!  And I'm thankful that her inclination to pray came so naturally and was offered so freely!  She's such a tender spirit!  I'm really lucky because in all honesty, even with their usual tantrums and independence and grumpiness and bossiness that comes out sometimes (okay, often actually), they really are both tender, tender spirits!

My Fearsome Threesome

Life moves on so quickly!  And it is so easy to get lost in the middle of it all and forget that time is moving forward, you aren't just standing still; you aren't just treading water; you aren't just enduring and waking up at the end where you started.  I look at my family - my children in particular - and am so amazed at how much, how quickly, they change!  Just a few things I want to remember one day because, as I've often been reminded lately -- Childhood doesn't last forever!

Abby's hair is getting SO LONG!  It is so pretty with it's little waves and curls!  She loves to comb her hair with anything - comb, brush, pick, whatever she can find - and say, "That bo-tee-foal! So pitty!"  And it is beautiful! So pretty! Even better is the glow in her eyes and the way her face transforms when she says it!  You have never seen anything so truly BEAUTIFUL!  I hope she always has that confidence and glow! I hope no one ever makes her question it or makes her cry because of it!

Isaac is usually quick to join in, "Yeah, Ab, pretty!" And he gets the cutest smile on his face as well.  Just tender, sweet comments for his sisters. The other day I had Brianna in a dress and Isacc walked in the room and saw her and said, "Brianna! You're so pretty, cute girl! Yeah. Pretty!"  It made me smile!  But not as much as it made me smile when he tried on Abby's very FULL slip one Sunday afternoon - he insisted that he get to try it on, crying when I took it away.  I finally gave in - I didn't really have any reason not to - and he ran down the hall saying, "Cute!  Yeah!  I cute!"  The fact that the slip barely covered his diaper because his legs are SO much longer than Abby's only made the moment that much more KODAK!!!  Wish we had THAT on video for his dating years! :-)

Two days ago, Abby was playing with Isaac's bear.  She grabbed a tissue from the tissue box and had torn it into small pieces.  I looked away for a second and when I looked back, she had draped the tissues on the bear and then looked at me, her face squinting and her mouth open in the cutest little triumphant smile/laugh and said, "Wow - that BO-tee-foal, Mom!"  Isaac quickly grabbed the bear and said, "No! My bear!" and tore the tissue off, and Abby looked like she didn't quite know what to do as she glanced at the torn tissue on the ground. She had been so proud - I really wanted to cry!  But she took it really well, her expression quickly changed from hurt to casual acceptance, she picked up the tissue paper and went on her way, playing with something else.

There are days I am amazed by their love and tenderness with each other; and there are days I see the bully brother and the tender-hearted sister.  And there are days when she will tackle that boy to the ground in .2 seconds flat EVERY.TIME.SHE.TRIES.  Sometimes she is the tender mother, hugging him when he cries or gets disappointed, "Are you okay, Isaac? Uh-oh, what happened?  Come 'ere!"  Sometimes she is the bossy mother, "Isaac - come 'ere right now . . . 1, 2, 3.  Right now, Isaac!"  He has his share of the little boss and the protective brother, too - don't get me wrong.  One of my favorite moments was last week when Dave told Isaac for quite literally the sixth time that he needed to stop or start doing something - I don't remember what.  Abby looked at Dave and said, "Daddy - don't spank Isaac any more!"  How could we help but laugh at that?  I promise he isn't an abused child! ;-D  And in the end I am reminded that they are incredibly special, incredibly bright, incredibly talented, incredibly loving -- but they are still just siblings, just human, and experiencing all of the emotions that come with it.  I'm trying to learn how to encourage the love to grow, how to weed out the bossy moments and nurture the tender ones, but some days that is also hard to know how to handle and what to do - or sometimes to even think about it in the midst of just living.  Cuz in the end, I'm just human, too! :-)

Brianna is so big!  There is nothing that makes my heart smile like seeing her face smile - watching her legs start to kick wildly and her eyes get really big and excited when I walk into the room!  I love to make her laugh!  And she has the cutest little, short, almost gasping giggle!  It's not full-blown laughter very often.  It rarely lasts longer than two seconds at a time.  It's just a quick giggle or shrill of laughter - but always, always, always there is her sweet and tender smile, so easily won, so freely given, such complete and utter heart-melting material!

Her face is so round right now!  She's like a soft, silky little airy marshmallow!  It's so fun to see and to feel her face and snuggle her close as she nestles into me!  Tonight she was fussing and Dave picked her up.  She calmed a bit but not completely.  Then I went in and she looked at me and started to "talk" to me, so I picked her up.  That was it. She nestled close, put her cheek next to mine, and was just as content as could be.  I said, "You're right, Dave, she really is momma's little girl."  He said, "Yes she is - but that's okay cuz I have her whole life to change that!"  PUNK!  He's right, though -- Abby is Daddy's little girl - whether he's wrestling, having a tickle war, pulling her around on his leg, whatever - she cannot get enough of him!  She smothers him with kisses and conquers him with hugs.  She gives the BEST bear hugs you have EVER received!  The other day she took his face between both her hands and got right up close and kissed his lips and said, "I love you, Daddy!"  And every night afternoon for her nap or night after prayer, I tuck her and she calls after me, "I love you, Mamma!  Mom?  I love you!"  I love you, too, Abby!  More than you know!  Tonight she started crying, and I just went in and held her for a minute and covered her face and hair with kisses and rubbed her back and told her it was okay!  I LOVE those moments!

This afternoon I told the twins to choose a book for us to read.  Abby picked a counting book and started to read it to ME.  Isaac got an Arthur book - yes, a young reader version that has very few pictures and too many words/pages.  He sat by me on the sofa and laid his little head on my shoulder and listened.  And then he started to talk like he was in the middle of a very grown-up conversation. Finally, he had HAD it.  He looked up at me and growled right into my face -- and then the little puppy dog was off to find the fire engine and save the world!  He has such an amazing imagination!

The other day I realized he had been quiet for longer than I was comfortable with.  I called as I walked through the house, "Isaac.  I--saac!  Where are you?"  I heard the teasing reply, "I no know!"  I kept the game going.  "What? Where are you?"  "I no kno-oooow!"  I found him under a laundry basket in his bedroom, quietly hiding for who knows how long, waiting for me to come and "seek" him out.  He often plays hide and seek, and often with the laundry basket!  He can play by himself forever, and then when he gets tired of that he will come and find me or Abby or Brianna and play by himself next to us.  Sometimes - often, really - they play together.  But he really is good with either situation.  And when he decides to be cute and tender and soft and loving - he IS cute and tender and soft and loving!

And when Brianna sees Isaac and Abby or hears them playing or they stand around the bouncy seat and play with her and talk to her and push her seat (sometimes a LOT too hard), she is just enthralled.  She's quick to let them know when she has had it - but she is also quick to forgive when they have been too rough.  Her eyes get so big, just in awe of everything they do and all the love they give her.  And I am learning to not protect her too much and make them feel like the bad guys.  They are almost always just as concerned as I am when their play gets too hard or not mindful enough of her as it should be and she starts to cry.  Isaac is almost always first to say sorry or ask her what happened.  And if I pick her up to rescue her, he always asks me to put her back so he can keep playing with her.

He also loves to hold her -- they both do, but he seems to request it more than Abby does, though Abby will stay with it longer when she does "hold" Brianna.  I am learning that I don't give them that opportunity often enough.  And they EAT IT UP every time I do.

And when Brianna boogies on my lap, she's as limber as Michael Jackson -- she has some smooth moves!  And she loves every second of it!  And Abby and Isaac always ask to boogie, too!  But they're not as easy to hold and zip and zoom across the room.  Today I was doing a workout video in my room while the girls slept and Isaac played in the living room.  Pretty soon he came to find me.  After a few seconds of trying to follow the moves and moving my handweights from here to there a few times, he said, "Mommy - I wanna watch exercise movie!  I want watch the music!"  I've got singing, dancing stars on my hands.  I LOVE it!

Irreplaceable

I am the kind of person who likes to leave a mark on everything I do.  I always dreamed of being the Keynote speaker, the inspiration to women on topics of motherhood, womanhood, child rearing, and patriotism (to name a few).  I love writing and would LOVE to publish a book someday.  I even have a few titles in mind: Perfection Walls or Garbage Bags and Bread Crumbs.  I really enjoy writing cute rhymes and hope to get back to a point where I can write and publish a few children's books - my imaginary friend Sir Belvis in his baggy MC Hammer pants, oversized baseball cap, and blue cadillac being the hero of my adventures and tales.  And I love to write music.  I have written a few songs and even been blessed to perform some of them, and maybe one day I'll get to publish a book of songs.  I would also LOVE to be part of an a capella group again someday (and I do mean L-O-V-E it!).  Add to that list my physical goals and desires, paramount being to run a marathon, maybe even ten or twelve and get to the point that I can actually compete in them and maybe even qualify for the Boston Marathon.  I would also love to run a Community Service/Community Action Youth Program someday, perhaps even putting into motion the program outline I began writing for a non-profit organization in Washington, D.C. before I gave it all up to get married to the man of my dreams.

Among my many wonderful memories that I have gathered in my mind's treasure box through the years is a memory of a three-year-old girl named Kathleen.  Kathleen was the oldest of three girls.  I used to babysit her and her sisters while her parents went to the temple.  I was amazed at how smart and on top of things she was!  She was a mini-me of her mother, and if her sisters hadn't learned lessons and life routines on their own yet, she filled in and often reminded them with things like, "No, Shara, remember Mommy says we don't eat anything until after we say a prayer."  I remember watching and listening to this young three-going-on-twenty-something and having the strongest feeling of awe and reverence come over me.  I thought, "Heaven help this family if anything ever happened to their mother!  And heaven help the woman that tried to fill Lisa's shoes.  She is irreplaceable to them.  And her shoes cannot be filled by anyone else."  I knew it was true.  They might enjoy me for a while, laugh with me, play with me, read books with me, play the piano and sing with me, but I was not and never could be their mother.  And all the things I was doing with them -- well, I was just going through the motions of the foundation their mother had already laid, and laid so well that it could not be easily shaken.

Many times in my life I have feared being replaced, not being an irreplaceable in roles and situations that will forever be one of a kind and irreplaceable to ME.  I have a great fear of passing through this life like the main character in Wit - hardly noticed and completely alone, having lived a life that was full of chasing dreams and aspirations that are ultimately no more meaningful than a name on a plaque or engraved in a cement bench in an empty park.  Before I got married, I even saw myself in Julia Roberts' role in Mona Lisa Smile - the successful, intelligent, innovative, passionate woman who was moving so quickly to accomplish and fulfill her own dreams that she missed out on relationships - chasing a dream that never left her with roots and branches. I am a friend who prizes sincerity first, last, and always.  I try not to say things I don't mean to merely flatter or feel good myself for having said it, intervened, been a "good" friend.  I try very hard to leave no message or phone call unanswered, unreturned. Most of this is because I want people to know they are important to me, and I hope to get the same reciprocity from my friends to know that I matter to them. 

This afternoon I put a movie on for Abby and Isaac to watch while I went in the kitchen and made pizza crust for our dinner "party" we had tonight with their old nursery teacher from church and her daughters.  As I turned to walk out of the room, Abby looked at me and said, patting to the sofa cushion next to her, "Mommy, sit by you?"  I told her just a minute, planning to quickly make the dough and then go sit by her while it rose for 15-20 minutes.  But it just so happened that I never did stop until long after the dough was made, dinner was served and finished, the company left, and my kids were in bed.  And here I sit with the memory of Kathleen and the sweet pleading eyes of Abby etched on my mind.

In her, I finally have my totally irreplaceable role!  No one else (hopefully) will ever be her mommy! And I know there are so many moments in each day when I can do better to make sure that she is getting the most out of me, that the unshakable foundation only I can give her is firmly in place!

Almost . . .

Tonight we were driving home, dinner (at 8:00 at night) in the front seat with my mom as I drove.  Here's the conversation:

Abby: Mommy - I hungee.
Me: I know, honey, but we're almost . . . we're getting closer, okay; so please just sit tight until we get there and then we can eat.  Okay?
Abby: (reluctant whine) Okay.

Isaac: Mommy, dink of water, please. Dink of water, please Mommy.
Abby: Almost, Isaac.  Almost.  Isaac?  Almost, okay Isaac.  Almost house, Isaac, okay?

Me: (smile at my sweet girl taking care of her brother and the fact that Isaac asked so politely)

Brianna starts crying uncontrollably.  I reach over the back seat and put my finger in her mouth cuz I cannot reach/find her paci (yes, I'm driving  -- you do what you gotta do sometimes).

Me: Brianna -- it's okay, honey.  We're almost there.  Brianna, honey.  Calm down, it's okay.
(crying continues - light turns green - I focus on the road)
Abby: Honey - okay, Nanna.  Okay.  Almost house, Nanna.  Honey - Nanna - okay, Nanna.

They hear everything, don't they?  Sometimes, that's a really good thing. :-)

Improve the Shining Moments

Abby woke up at midnight, screaming and crying like she was in immense pain.  I watched her, trying to figure out what was going on as she writhed around from the left to the right, onto her stomach, onto her back.  Then I noticed that she was bending her leg back and forth and holding it and letting it go every time she moved into a new position.  I grabbed some Pain-a-Trate to put on it and explained I was going to put some medicine on her leg to help it feel better.  She started to SCREAM and cry like, "No - don't touch my leg, Mommy!  Don't touch my leg!"  I finally held it down and got the cream on, and then she realized that it was helping and it was okay.  But she kept crying.  I asked if she needed some more medicine and she said yeah through her sobs.  Then I went to get some ice and she screamed at me for leaving.  I finally picked her up and carried her in to lay with Grandma while I looked at her leg in the light to see how bad it was. 

She had a pretty intense bruise -- I'm pretty sure she got her leg wedged between two spokes in her toddler bed.  And we got her settled down fairly quickly with some ice on her leg and some tylenol.  But she still wanted Mommy to go and lay her down in her bed; she didn't want to lay on the sofa and cuddle with Grandma.

I laid her down and sang her some songs.  When I sang "I Love to See the Temple" to her, her eyes lit up, litterally sparkled, and she began to sing along with me.  And, dear friends, I truly cannot capture in words the magic of that moment.  It was like we connected, spirit to spirit.  And with all of the ups and downs and ins and outs and changes and adjustments that have happened in the last six months, it was a moment I realized I used to have quite often and have since really missed.  Abby and I were so close that I was sad to find I was having another little girl instead of a boy because Abby was my little girl.  And I have felt a distancing from my independent toddler who wants to do everything herself and seldom accepts or acknowledges a need for Mommy's help.  In fact, when I try to help her, she usually pitches a fit and pushes me away. 

And in that moment in her room, her eyes lit up and our spirits speaking to each other, she was my little Abby girl and I was her Mommy.  And I cried.  I told her to close her eyes and go to sleep, and she immediately complied.  And I knelt there beside her and held her little hand and tried through choked-up tears to hum the temple song to her one more time.  Mostly because I wasn't ready to let that moment go.

Carpe diem, my friends!  Seize the day!  Improve the shining moments - don't let them pass you by!

I was thinking as I drifted off to sleep about the fact that there are only three months left to the year.  And I thought of a few things I can do, a few goals in small doses that I could accomplish, between now and then to finish this year with a BANG!!!  Because of my Mommy 15 blog, I usually think of things in doses of 15 -- like 15 minutes or 15 days or whatever.  And I determined that I need to find a way to have 15 minutes each day of quality, one-on-one, spirit connecting with spirit time with each of my children.  I need to take control and MAKE that a reality in our lives.  And I think they need me to do that as well.  And 15 minutes isn't much, right?  Espeically if I can get Dave in on it and set aside thirty minutes when we each take 15 minutes with each child to celebrate and relax and connect with them without the daily grind struggles and power struggles and messes and stress that sometime cut into our ability to see and feel each other.

Improve the shining moments!  Don't let them pass you by!

Dark Clouds with Silver Linings

I realize that my blog update a few days ago was a bit negative.  I would apologize, but I'm kind of coming to realize that bad days or bad seasons are what they are.  They are part of this life experience that make it what it is.  And though there are silver linings to dark clouds, the silver wouldn't shine through without the contrast of the darkness of the cloud.  Sometimes you can be depressed without being clinical and you can have a bad day without being cynical. ;-D

That said, throughout all of this, I was constantly reminded to see the positive by my dear husband.  He's amazing at always seeing the positive.  Even as he has been in bed, taking every drug possible, completely exhausted, locked away from the kids, and totally out of the first week of Brianna's life and all the tiny little moments that I am so blessed to experience, he still says, "In all honesty, Melinda, this week hasn't been that bad.  I've been able to keep going to work, we have an extra room where I can go to stay away from the baby and the twins, and your mom is here to help fill in the gaps.  So really, we've been blessed!"

And we have.  So here are some silver linings I've noticed and sought to see along the way (and by silver linings I mean Heavenly Father's hand and tender mercies gifted directly to us in packages of all shapes and sizes):

1) If Dave's fever hadn't broken the first time, he wouldn't have been there for Brianna's birth.  Which might not have been a bad thing, you might say, since it would have kept her from being exposed to whatever he has.  HOWEVER, that's another silver lining because I am sure Heavenly Father surrounded her with angels to protect her from this mystery flu and allow him to at least be there for her birth and the first hours of her life.

2) If the hospital stay had been more pleasant and Abby hadn't broken out from the allergic reactions to her medicine, my husband would not have taken her to Quick Care that night and have put off yet again going to the doctor to get help for his symptoms because -- let's face it -- who wants to go and sit for hours and hours at "Quick Care" after one long day at work and before another?  NO ONE!  So thankfully, I was inspired to get out of there; Abby was broken out and needed someone to take her in; and Dave had no way to avoid getting to the doctor.  Sure, it was inconclusive, but it was also a starting point.

3) If Brianna hadn't been jaundicey, I wouldn't have had a quick follow-up the next day and wouldn't have talked to the doctor who told me there was no way Dave had strep throat while on antibiotics.  And now that doctor is overseeing and ordering all of the other tests to try and find out what Dave DOES have.

4) If Abby hadn't had a SECOND allergic reaction to the benedryl for her FIRST allergic reaction, we wouldn't have been in to see the doctor and wouldn't have found her double ear infection or strep throat.  Then we wouldn't have gotten Isaac in there to be diagnosed either.  AND, to top off those tender mercies, the doctor was good enough to give my mom sample antibiotics to get her through all of this because she has medical conditions that would have made it REALLY bad for her to have gotten the strep throat (like hospitalization bad).  And with Idaho Medicare as her primary insurance, she couldn't see or be treated by a doctor in California.  She can only go in Idaho.  So it was an amazing blessing that she was able to get the medicine she needed to avoid and/or work through all of this crazy sickness stuff that was hitting the kids.  AND . . .

5) My mom having antibiotics made it possible for her to take care of the kids worry-free while I kept my little Brianna away from them until they had been on medicine long enough to not be contagious anymore.  Had she not been "treated" and/or had she gotten the strep infection, I would have had to find a way to keep Brianna at a distance while taking care of FOUR sickleys.

6) Brianna has been the best, best, best baby EVER!!!  Yes, she has the cold.  And no, it's never fun for a newborn to have to deal with all that cruddy flu stuff when they're still trying to figure out this mortal body of theirs and how it feels and works and what not.  HOWEVER, she didn't get all the symptoms.  She's been protected (from breastfeeding or angels or a combination of both) to not get anything else that's flying around in this house.  And she has handled it really, really well.

7) My delivery could not have gone smoother.  Events and circumstances surrounding the delivery definitely could have.  But the delivery itself was everything I had been praying for for the entire pregnancy.  I had very little internal tearing; once she came, she just came; I didn't have to have a c-section or anything else; and even the post-pregnancy pain has been very bearable in comparison to what I experienced last time and could have experienced this time.  The only thing I feel I have to watch is doing too much -- picking up the twins or whatever.  And that is SUCH a HUGE blessing!!!

8) Modern medicine!!!  I mean, they have the initial strep test and the lab where they send the swab away to make sure they diagnosed it correctly.  They can draw your blood and run tests for any number of diseases and have answers within hours or a few days.  Truly a blessing!

9) Abby and Isaac!!!  I was worried about them waking up and not being around.  But I went into the hospital after we put them to bed and we had a baby about an hour before they woke up, so they were able to come and spend the first hour of her life with us in the hospital!!!  The timing could not have been more perfect!!!  And they have love love loved her!  Tonight as we drove back from a small road trip to look at potential places to live, Abby held Brianna's hand for the entire last leg of the trip and sat back there saying, "Shhhhh, baby -- it's okay!"  And Isaac is the first to run and tell me if she's crying and always says, "What wrong Anna?  Why cwying, Anna?  You hungee?  Huh?"  They have had a hard road with a new baby, Mommy being locked up in the bedroom with her so many hours of the day, Daddy being locked up in the office so much they forget he's around, etc.  But they have done really, really well with it all.  They are such a blessing to each other and to this new little baby -- not to mention to me!!!

10) My mom, my mom, my mom!  I can't say enough thanks for all she has done and the way things lined up for her to be here through all of this!  It hasn't been the tranisition time she or I had planned on, but it has been so nice to not be alone through all of it, to be able to rest and to take care of Brianna without worrying about the twins.  It's been nice to not be alone and to have someone to talk to and laugh with and even eat all that junk I'm not supposed to be eating right now with.  She has been an angel, a true Godsend!!! 

11) You know how they say that you don't appreciate something until you've lost it.  I love love love and appreciate David so much!!!  I miss being with him, laughing with him, talking with him, having him hold me while we make dinner and the kids run around or wrestling with the kids to see who gets to sit next to him right after he's come home from work.  I miss holding hands when we pray or laying my head on his shoulder while we read scriptures at night.  I miss him having energy to do things and being able to talk to him without him being so exhausted that it's never a good time.  I miss watching movies with him at night because he's always too tired to stay awake through them, even on the weekends.  Just so many things that have been gone for so long but have REALLY been completely gone this last week. 

12) The sun before the storm.  In the Triage, I was doing "labor lunges" - I got them from one of my workout videos.  He thought it was HILARIOUS and took a picture of his "hard core wife."  And we had so much fun playing Quiddler and talking and laughing and arguing about whether or not I was going to get the epidural.  And I'm thankful for those small moments before everything else hit.  And I'm looking forward to having them again VERY SOON!!!!

13) My sister Monique.  She has held the fort taking care of my 94-year-old grandma, two five-year-old cousins that don't always see eye to eye, a buddingly independent two-year-old, and a 10-month-old baby.  NEED I SAY MORE about what a HUGE blessing it has been for her to take on such a HUGE load to allow my mom to be with me. 

It's late!  That's all I can think of/remember tonight!  But if I think of something else, I'll add it to the list!

And doesn't that gray cloud look so much prettier somehow with all of that beautiful silver surrounding it?  I sure think so! ;-D

P.S.

P.S. -- I am going to write a silver lining post tomorrow to highlight all of the tender mercies I've noticed/searched for in all that has happened the last month.  But for tonight, I just want to add that in the midst of all of this, Abby has decided she is ready to be done with diapers.  As in I literally have been taping her diapers on her with duct tape to keep her from taking them off whenever she pees or poops in them because I just can't handle it and the already few accidents she has had in the process.  *sigh*  Any potty training resources or ideas for fast and painless that you want to pass on would be MUCH appreciated.

In the meantime, Isaac went to sleep without his pacifier tonight.  *peaceful smile*

And Brianna hasn't learned yet that at one week old, she isn't supposed to be able to roll over onto her side or her stomach.  Which, after finding her face down last night and freaking OUT, I have decided to tell her she is way too young to do things like this.

And I have decided that breastfeeding is God's gift to mothers.  How else do you get to have a few precious moments of undisturbed closeness to your newborn to figure them out in the most personal, intimate way?  Even if toddlers and life distract you throughout the day, there are those silent, fleeting moments in the middle of the night when you get to look into their inquiring eyes, hold their little hands in yours, and have mommy/daughter popcorn and hot chocolate talks that will never go beyond the two of you and leave strong, deep impressions of love and safety for them.  It is precious and tender indeed.  Such a blessing!!!

Danjewus!

This morning I came into my room to find Abby sitting on my bed with my sewing box emptied all over the bed and a pair of scissors in her hand (Dave had sewed on a button or something).  My mind IMMEDIATELY raced to all the bad-news-bear possibilities of that little detail alone.  But the look on her face was one of pain, shock, and utter disbelief all wrapped into one.

Me: (rushing for the scissors FIRST and whatever necessary damage control second) Abby!!!  No -- don't get into Mommy's sewing box!
Abby: Yeah . . . hurt (whimper as she shows me the palm of her hand and hands me the scissors) . . . danjewus!
Me: (trying hard NOT to laugh at the cuteness of it all) Yeah - that IS dangerous, huh?  So we shouldn't touch it, right?  Because we don't want Abby to get hurt!
Abby: Yeah . . . Mommy!  Danjewus!  Hurt! (which of course got a kiss on the "hurt" hand -- I couldn't see a thing -- and a huge bear hug)

Yesterday morning she woke up completely soaked through EVERYTHING, which meant an early-morning shower with Mommy.  When we got out, we had two towels I had set out: the pink-and-white-striped beach towel I got for my 26th birthday when I was working at a summer camp and a navy blue towel we got after the twins were born.  Abby is learning her colors, and without prompt from me her favorite color is pink (it's about the ONLY piece of chalk she will use when we have chalkboard coloring time)!  I have taught them the "rainbow color song." (Red and yellow and pink and green; purple and orange and blue.  I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too!)  So whenever they recognize yellow or pink, they yell, "Yellow pink!" because they come together in the song.  So as soon as Abby sees the pink towel, she gets totally excited (so much so that I grab her arm because I don't want her to FALL in the tile shower) and starts yelling, "Mommy!  Yellow pink!  Yellow pink!"

Me: Is the towel pink?
Abby: (totally excited here, people -- like better than Christmas morning) YEAH!!!
Me: Yes it is. Good job!  And over there is the BLUE towel.  See, pink towel . . . blue towel.
Abby: Abby get it!
Me: (not sure I just heard my daughter CALL for the pink towel to be hers, I simply pretend I know exactly what she just meant by what she said)  Yeah.

(I dry myself off and grab the BLUE towel to wrap her in.  But she starts to protest EMPHATICALLY!)
Abby: No -- no, no, no . . . . PINK!
Me: You want the pink one?
Abby: Yeah!  Pink one Abby!

Oh the connections children make!  It never ceases to amaze (or surprise) me!!!

Mommy . . . yucky . . . c'mere!

I was in the kitchen rinsing out Abby and Isaac's cups to give them some milk.  As usual, my little shadow was in there with me, something I realize I am going to miss like crazy some day!!!

I looked over to see her excited expression as she was looking at something under the table.

Abby: Yook!  Fly! (with more excitement than birthdays or Christmas have brought to her little face)
Me: Is there a fly under the table?
Abby: Yeah!!!!

This is not an abnormal occurrence, so I don't really pay much more attention.  Then I see her with her little spoon hitting at the ground.

Me: Abby, don't bang your spoon on the ground, okay? (I mean, we have tile floors -- and it isn't THAT strong of a spoon, and she's banging pretty hard.)

Abby stops, I finish rinsing the cups and go to get the milk when she comes over to me, the sourest expression on her face.

Abby:  Mommy . . . yucky!
Me: Abby, what's yucky?  What do you have in your mouth?  Did you eat a fly?
Abby: Yeah. (whimper) C'mere . . . yook!
Me: Abby, we don't eat flies!  Did you spit it back out?
Abby: (whimper) C'mere . . . yook!

During all of this, she is trying really hard to scrape something out of her mouth.  I take her outstretched hand and follow her into the kitchen.  And to my dismay . . . borderline horror, actually . . . I see a mound of black!  That is, a few eggs that had fallen from their plates or chairs after breakfast COVERED with tiny little black ANTS!!!

Apparently Abby had been sitting in them, because I noticed at that moment that a few were crawling up my arm from the hand that she held with a death grip.  And then I saw that SHE had quite a few crawling all over her as well. 

I woke David from his peaceful slumber on the sofa and told him to come and look.  He brushed me off a few times.  Isaac came, though.  So then I stood there with one child holding each hand, me holding Isaac back from getting in the middle of the mess of coolness that are all bugs to him these days, and INSIST that David wake up and come and look at the ants. 

See, I've asked him to spray for them before (he told me I can't use the spray anymore because I'm pregnant and he thinks I go overboard because I'm paranoid about all things bugs . . . particularly cockroaches . . . and he's probably right).  And I'm sure he hasn't done it because he thinks I exaggerate on my stories of all things bugs. So I know nothing is going to happen unless I can GET HIM TO SEE for himself that we have a SERIOUS ANT PROBLEM around the door in our kitchen.  I gently invite him in AGAIN, I even REMIND him (lovingly) that I have asked him to spray for them FOUR times, and this time our daughter ATE them on her food (how dare they try to eat HER FOOD anyway?).  And this time, there were not only ants on the few scraps of food left over from their breakfast, there was a dark and thick line of them leading from the food to the wall and along the back of the wall -- and I do mean HUNDREDS since they aren't THAT big (sheesh -- for just a few mesely eggs that hadn't been there more than an hour?)!!!

We ushered the kids into their rooms for an early nap, and David sprayed the wall and the middle of the floor, and along the door (again).  YAY!

And I thought the most EXCITING part of today was going to be taking the kids to see the animals at the COUNTY FAIR!!!

I Should Listen to Abby More Often . . .

This morning I woke up at 4:30 with Dave and started my day.  By 6:30 - I was ready for a NAP . . . or another eight hours of sleep!  I had just laid down when I heard Abby wake up.  I decided to do what any good mother in my situation would do: Ignore her until she got the point that it was still night-night time and she should go back to sleep. It has worked before -- and she should have been asleep for AT LEAST another two hours!

Well - it didn't work.  I spent the next ten minutes listening to her cry and talk and cry some more.  Then I finally heard, "May . . . I . . . please . . . some . . . OUT!?"  She wanted out.  And she had to use the magic phrase I've been trying SO HARD to teach her, didn't she?  So I went to get her and nicely PLACE her back in her bed, with an explanation that it was STILL night-night time for Abby and she should STILL be asleep.

And I learned what the jibberish had been between her cries . . .

She was totally and completely naked.  She had wet through her clothes, and when I didn't come, she took her wet clothes off by herself and then took her wet diaper off BY HERSELF . . . .  Yep. Completely. naked. was. she.

Then tonight, while Dave went to the grocery store to get some necessary evils (like cinnamon and apple sauce and MILK), I decided to cook dinner AND give the kids a bath . . . because that is what you do when it is after 6:00 at night and you are fighting the clock and want to keep them occupied and moving TOWARDS bed. I put the rice in the rice maker, turned the microwave on, and chased my excited kids to the bathroom!

After I had soaped them down and it was time for them to have their free-time playtime with all their fun bath toys, I ran into the kitchen to mix up the other ingredients for rice pudding, so that when the rice was done cooking, I could just throw it all in my fancy Pampered Chef rice maker and have dinner by the time they got out of the tub.  Sounds reasonable, right?

But then the can of evaporated milk WOULD NOT OPEN.  I tried everything!  Three or four times.  Still not a budge in the seal!  In the meantime -- and you can imagine that I was getting more and more frustrated with every second that my SIMPLE and QUICK task was dragging on and on and on -- I hear Abby and her jibberish again, telling me something that Isaac is doing.  But she isn't crying, so I know he isn't hitting her over the head with the tupperware container they use to pour and dump water all over each other with such childish DELIGHT every time they take a bath.  And they were actually laughing between her jibberish cries for some sort of help or interference or something.  So I said, "In a minute" and continued to focus on that darn can!

Until I realized that their laughter wasn't so muffled . . . and that Abby had stopped trying to get me to come in . . . and Isaac was making that "BAM" sound he makes when he is throwing something really hard.

Or tossing water . . . all over my floor.

Yes, they had decided that I needed some encouragement to finally mop the bathroom floor . . . and had literally FLOODED it to the point that the rug was POURING water when I picked it up to hang it up to "drip dry," and the water was seeping out into the hallway.  There was at least 1/8" of water ALL OVER MY BATHROOM FLOOR -- and I don't have a small bathroom here.  It was even back behind the toilet!  No, in my haste and exhaustion and frustration, I didn't get a picture.  And I decided that the safest place for the twins while I cleaned the mess was right there in the bathtub, hearing each second how that was not a good choice for them to throw water on the floor, that we DON'T do things like that, that the water should stay IN THE TUB and the glass door should stay CLOSED AT ALL TIMES. It sounds a lot nicer here than it did in the moment, I assure you.

And we still didn't have any dinner . . . or an open can of Evaporated Milk. *sigh*

And in the end I concluded that I really need to listen to my daughter more.  She's a great tattle-tale.  She knows what she (and Isaac) should and should NOT be doing, and she knows when they are making bad choices.  That doesn't stop her from joining the fun, but at least she is POLITE enough to tell me all about it and even invite me to intervene before it gets out of hand . . . each and every single time.

Lesson learned?  I doubt it.  I'm not that quick! :-)

A Few Pictures -- Part 1

My family is having a family reunion next weekend -- like the first in I don't even know how long!  Anyway, my cousin Gina volunteered to make a picture CD for everyone of the entire family and requested pics.  Since our computer and external hard drive were stolen in last weekend's San Diego trip Chaffee family crime debut, I had to do a LOT of work (like we're talking two hours last night and at least four hours today) to get her some pics.  And here is what I came up with.  Incidentally, this was a tender mercy BECAUSE there were pictures we had downloaded to Dave's laptop and the FIRST external hard drive for backup that we hadn't downloaded to the SECOND external hard drive.  And when we went to download the San Diego pics, lo and behold there were some pictures from the originals that were still there.  Not all of them, mind you, but enough that we were so glad we hadn't lost the twins' first trip to the zoo and Dave's faux graduation pictures! (We took them after graduation cuz we didn't really do the whole "walk through the line and listen to people talk about the university and your duty as alums" thing.  Is that un-American?  An insult to academia?  Hmmmm . . . .)

Anyway -- ENJOY!!!

A Few Pictures -- Part 2

Isaac swinging at the ONE park I have found in Southern California with SHADED toys!  Really, people?  This is SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!!!!

He's so red from the heat!  But he was having so much fun!

I love this picture for SOOOOO many reasons.  It was January of this year, which means that getting back to "me" and losing pregnancy weight and body IS possible!  But even more than that, Dave and I had just been taking my friend Dani's engagement pics.  And we decided to take some of me and of us.  He's the kind that will tell me to pose, not smile, look natural, etc.  And I was kind of sick of all of that and just started to PLAY!  MUCH BETTER!  Yes, it was as fun as it looks.  You should see some of the other pictures.  One of my favorites is the moment I told Dani, after hours of posed engagement pics, "You HAVE to try this!  Just break loose -- it's really, REALLY fun!"  Eternal. principle. right. there.

This picture captures Isaac in new situations SO WELL!!!  He wants to LOVE them . . . but there is that hesitancy and trepidation that always comes out right at first.  Then . . . WATCH OUT, you can't hold him back! Oh, and that's a horse he's standing next to.  It would probably scare me, too, to be that close!

Wee!!!!  Every time I tried to get her to stop, she said, "No, no, no, no! More! No! Push!"

It looks like I'm having a lot more fun than he is.  But really, I just know when to smile for the camera . . . and he could care less!  He's probably looking at something he's contemplating running off and doing.

In the leafy treetops . . . . Abby at the Zoo.  Dave put her in the tree, and she thought it was SO COOL!

At Dave's sister's wedding last June . . . how a year FLIES by, huh?

She LOVES her ice!  And I mean . . . L-O-V-E-S it!!!

Yes, he DOES look like his Daddy!

Raggedy Ann and Andy for Halloween!

This picture SHOUTS -- "FINALLY!!!"

Abby's the "dig in and get your hands dirty" kind of gal!  After my own heart!

The look of sheer JOY on their faces is priceless!  Can you tell I photoshopped out the evidence of them being allergic to G & G's farm animals?  I'm new at this -- have patience!  You should have seen the cars I tried to photoshop out of a parking lot.  Whew!  Definitely have a lot to learn!

And Abby approaches new adventures with ZEAL!  She could swing for HOURS without tiring.  And I mean H-O-U-R-S!