Prayer of the Children

We just found out that Dave's nephew went in to have his wisdom teeth removed and had a seizure.  His wife, who also had her wisdom teeth removed, posted on Facebook to request prayers in his behalf.  I called all of the kids in to kneel down and say a prayer.  I showed them TJ's picture, Beau's daddy, and Shaylee's picture so they would know who they were.  Then I explained that TJ was sick and in the hospital and needed our prayers.  Of course, they ALL wanted to say it!  So we knelt in a family circle and I let each of the kids say a prayer for them.  We talked about praying for Shaylee as well that she would have peace.  Isaac asked me what peace was.  I explained that peace is happiness, when the Spirit touches you and helps you feel good and know that everything is going to be okay.

It never ceases to amaze me how mature my kids are.  That Isaac asked me what peace was and then took that prayer VERY SERIOUSLY!

Each prayer also touched me.

Isaac: Please bless that TJ will be okay and won't be sick anymore and that Shaylee will have happiness from the Spirit.

Abby: Please bless that TJ will get better and that Shaylee will be happy.  And please bless we can get in our new house and have flowers and horses.

Brianna: Please bless that TJ will get better and that Shaylee will have the peace.

Happiness from the Spirit.  That was Isaac's take-away understanding of peace. And isn't that so fitting?  And as he said it, he was sincere and focused -- no lightness or laughter in his voice like he often has when he's praying.  I guess maybe he feels like daily prayer is a dress-rehearsal or redundant.  But when it counts, he's present.

Abby remembers to ask for our new house and flowers and horses in EVERY prayer!  She is so focused on what she really wants and needs, and she takes it to Heavenly Father in faith every chance she gets.  It is no wonder that we have had miracle after miracle in the timing, signing, and closing of our new house.  Another example from my life of people saying, "It's impossible -- it probably won't happen -- be prepared," and things being POSSIBLE, HAPPENING, and getting prepared being a waste of energy and time. I am SO THANKFUL for that constant pattern in my life.  And that my kids are LEARNING it in theirs as well!

I was very touched and actually started to cry when my little 2-year-old was the only one that simply asked that they be blessed with peace.  I often think she is too little to understand and remember things.  She was the only one who didn't ask.  The only one who didn't jump in on the discussion about peace and clarifying language.  And after the discussion and two prayers from her older siblings, she still simply asked . . . for peace for them.  I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, except that I am amazed by her love.  I am amazed by her simple understanding.  I am amazed that she remembered and . . . obeyed isn't the right word, but something along those lines.  And I was amazed at her focused, humble, quiet, reverent tone. 

I love my children.  I am so thankful I get to be their mom.

In the Still of the Night

It has been such a long - LONG - time since I wrote anything.  It all started with my mom, sister, and niece being here from Idaho! 

We went to the San Diego Zoo's Safari Park, an island near San Diego (Carlsbad?  I'll have to check - it was definitely unforgettable and worth recording), and Disneyland to celebrate the twins' THIRD birthday BEFORE they were actually three and we had to pay to celebrate it there with them. (Incidentally - if you ever go, check Craigslist for tickets!  We got two adult Park Hopper tickets for $100 - and an evening and night at Disneyland is TOTALLY worth $100. I mean, you'll pay $50 just for dinner for two at a fancy restaurant these days!!!  The parade and fireworks and night show on the lake, the Casey Junior ride with all the little model towns lit up, the night lights on the town and the gorgeous buildings -- all AMAZINGLY magical! And if you have a chance to go with someone who is handicapped, even better!  We got to go through a special line and rarely had to wait more than FIVE MINUTES for EVERY ride!  In fact, I don't think I'll ever go there again without my mom . . . . or I'll just rent a wheelchair and strap on my "boot" from my foot surgery and enjoy!  Just kidding . . . sort of! ;-D  But in all seriousness, hats off to Disneyland because it was such great fun watching my mom RIDE THE RIDES with my kids -- and that is something she would have NEVER been able to do if we'd had to fight through traffic and crowds with her!)

We made these AWESOME Family Home Evening boards.  I'll have to post pictures later, but since I've wanted a Family Home Evening Board for the last THREE YEARS, it was that much greater to put our noses to the grindstone and our pedals to the medal to drive around for FOUR days, through FOUR towns until we got JUST the right accessories to do everything JUST the way we wanted it.  (Incidentally, since you might not know what an FHE Board is: think job chart where you rotate assignments, except it's for fun things -- song, scripture, prayer, activity, treat -- these are the things we include in our once a week family night that is just that - a NIGHT set aside for the family to have some quality, focused, fun-filled time together!)  And since I have my other sister for Christmas - she got an early Christmas present and now has one as well!

A few days after my family went home, Dave's family flew/drove down to have a long weekend with us as well.  And what was supposed to be another fun-filled weekend turned into an IMMENSE tender mercy and testimony of how aware God is of the SMALLEST DETAILS of our lives, preparing the way even before we know a way needs prepared!  Isaac was sick, so I kept he and Brianna home with me while Dave drove down to pick his sister up at the airport to drive over and meet his brother and sister-in-law for dinner.  His sister-in-law had been in Los Angeles for the month to spend time with her family while her husband - Anson - was finishing his tour in Afghanistan.  WHILE THEY WERE EATING DINNER WITH MINIE, she got a Facebook message that said, "I heard about Anson - I am so sorry!  Let me know if you need anything."  She had NOT heard about Anson.  And when she made calls, she was told that there was an accident but he was fine - just a few minor scrapes and bruises.  So they continued to have a fun-filled night.  But when they got back to Lancaster, his sister said that she just didn't have a good feeling about it.  At 6:00 the next morning, we got a call from their mom that Anson had been hit by a grenade and was in a coma, on his way to a hospital in Germany.  And that news began an intensely emotional roller coaster of a weekend that ended with Anson being flown from Germany to Bethesda, MD to the Naval Hospital there.  It has been a long row to hoe.  Most of Dave's family has flown back there to see him.  Dave and I couldn't afford to fly there with the kids, so we took some time and went and spent a few days with Dave's dad while we all waited to see what would happen with him.  It soon became clear that he would be in a coma for a long time and there would be complications, infections, blood transfusions, etc. along the way that would and continues to make it a difficult journey. 

And through it all what continues to shine through is our faith!  And knowing that from the beginning (incidentally, the accident happened almost EXACTLY at the moment that Dave was picking his sister up from the airport to go over and have dinner with Minie - and Dave's other sister had decided the NIGHT BEFORE to also fly down and spend the weekend with us), God was in the details!  Dave's family NEVER gets together!  NE-VER!  And Anson's family lives in Louisiana.  So to have five out of the seven kids accounted for when he was injured was pretty miraculous!  The support, the love, the coming together, the laughter over tears, the tears over tears, the prayers as we knelt together, the fasting together that Sunday morning, the last-minute flights and travel plans, the offers to take care of their children while Minie was with him, just EVERY SINGLE DETAIL and EVERY MOMENT OF FAITH AND HOPE AND LOVE were obvious love notes from a very aware and loving Heavenly Father to His children.  As was the incredible blessing of modern technology as we were able to spread the news quickly to so many people and begin immediately to receive added prayers and support and love from friends and strangers alike!  It has been a MOST humbling experience!

The twins turned THREE on Monday!  Since we had already spent a lot of money on Disneyland, we had a simple birthday party here.  We got a discounted cheesecake sampler and the cheap a la cheap strawberry ice cream from WalMart.  And we picked up Dora and Diego toothbrushes so they would have something to open!  They were so thrilled!!!!  Then their nursery teacher, Sister Black, came over and brought them magnetic trains and coloring packets.  Nursery leaders are the BEST!!! You'd think she plays with them for two hours every Sunday and knows what they like or something!  Isaac didn't put that train down!  They even snuck it into the bathtub that night (and I learned why they had been playing so contently for over an hour and a half)!  And he sleeps with it and would eat with it if toys were allowed at the table!  It was great, great fun!  And I am amazed and humbled that they are getting SO BIG, SO FAST!!!  Tonight Abby asked me what I was looking at.  When I told her I was looking for recipes, she said, "You're looking at recipes?  Oh.  That's cool."  And when Isaac tells me, "Mommy - please don't spank my bottom.  That not very nice!  That make me sad!"  I realize over and over how GROWN up my kids are!  It's been fast and furious, but I really would not change a moment!  And I pray every night that I get to enjoy a lifetime more with them!

Also on Monday, my nephew Jared, who has had seizures for years, went through some pretty intense testing to see if they can do surgery to stop the seizures.  The family took turns sitting with him - he couldn't be left alone for a single minute for like three days of testing - and in the end, we are hopeful they were able to get some good information and a better solution for him and his family is very near!!!  I am amazed at the strength of his family and thankful that my family always pulls together, however they can!

We went to Dave's work for family day the Friday before the twins' birthday.  It is the only day you are allowed past the security gates and locks.  We got to see really cool airplanes, including the one Dave has been involved in testing.  And they had a barbeque and shaved ice and a giant blown-up trampoline with an attached slide!  The kids LOVED it!  And Dave said they ordered the 108 degree weather just for us to appreciate what they go through out there in the desert where it is ALWAYS hotter than we get here . . . in the desert! Whatever!  I know he planned it just to have something to complain about and try to get me to feel sorry for him.  Total manipulation at it's worst! ;-D

And yesterday we took the kids to the fair!  They actually handled it pretty well when we told them we didn't have money for the taunting rides and souvenirs.  But they didn't handle it so well when we pulled them away from the animals in the animal barns!  Abby had a meltdown every time!  They LOVED the goats and sheep and chickens and turkeys and chicks and ducks and rabbits and -- oh the excitement when Abby saw a "MAMA!  Mommy, Mommy, it's a MAMA" (llama) in the petting zoo!  She would NOT leave its side for more than a few seconds before she was looking everywhere to find where it had walked away to!  And by not leave its side, I mean she literally had her hand on its side, patting it reassuringly as she moved wherever it did!  Brianna would whip around me from side to side, eyes and mouth wide open when an animal would walk past us or try to eat my clothes in search of food!  Though she was never sure enough to pet them more than a few pats, she was still incredibly intrigued!  Isaac was equally intrigued but demonstrated it differently.  Like when he pulled the already angry turkey's tail feathers just minutes after I had pulled him AWAY from the practically hissing bird.  Or when he walked right up to the potbelly pigs in the petting zoo, contently sleeping lazily on the side of the fence, and pushed them so hard they actually started to ROLL OVER before I snatched him back (and the roley poley animals rolled right back to their original places)!  I managed to keep his fingers out of the bird cages, but it was incredibly hard when the ducks encouraged him by quacking BACK when he quacked in their faces!  They both wanted to jump on the goats' backs and ride them -- I mean, who wouldn't?  That's what you do, right?  And I was certain we were going to have a few toddlers overboard in the fountain/wishing well!  Add in the sheep roundup with the sheep dogs and I think you can begin to imagine how much FUN our night at the fair was!

Tonight we played a game of Dora the Explorer's Candy Land.  Abby is great at games!  It is so much fun!  Isaac doesn't have the same zeal/attention span for it! But it's still really fun to actually be SITTING DOWN TOGETHER as a family and playing games!  We also have a little hummingbird that has popped up in the last few weeks and likes to fly in front of my kitchen window!  I'll have to see if I can find a reasonably-priced feeder to bring it back!  That would be a fun thing to watch with the kids every day.

In the meantime, Brianna is literally walking CIRCLES around everything and every room!  Seriously she is so proud that she can walk that every time we applaud her - still a bit surprised to see her everywhere and into everything - she gets a proud smile and starts walking in circles, like she's showing off on just how WELL she really IS doing!  She loves it!  And tonight she sat at the table with ALL of us for dinner - no tray between her and the family!  She is saying a few words very clearly, like when she calls for Daddy ("DA!") or shouts "HI!" as she waves to anyone lucky enough to be within range!  Of course she says "Ma-muh - Ma-muh!" and tonight even started saying, "Na-nuh" for night-night!  She has two front teeth and is incredibly adventurous!  And more than once we caught her dancing away on top of Dave's shoulders as we heard music while walking around the fair.  I've just started weaning her, and she loves to drink water from her cup (we're still working on milk -- the weaning from mom process has been a little hard for her, for both of us really as it has gone a lot more quickly than I intended because my milk took the first cue and headed south for the winter).  And she is really the sweetest little angel with the most amazing laugh and contagious smile!  She also sings a LOT!  The most recognizable is "E-I-E-I-O!"  And she LOVES to play with and around the kids.  Tonight Isaac was tackling her and pulling her and patting her head and even trying to ride her!  And through it all, she was as gleeful and giggly as could be!

As for Dave and I -- the other night he told me how much he has realized in the last few weeks that he REALLY WANTS TO DATE ME!  So I guess you could say we're doing pretty good! ;-D  With Brianna weaning from me and this sudden realization after three and a half years that we like each other enough to "date" - life is great! :-)

It is late, but I couldn't let another week go by without updating.  It has been a fast and furious few months.  But life is too short to let those moments go by as just moments!  And if anything were to happen to any of us, we would ALL treasure more than anything the fact that we have even these vague notes to go back to and learn and grow and remember!  And that is priceless!

And if you've stayed with me to the end of this update from the last few months, you get a gold medal!!!  Or at least a gold star of appreciation.  I mean, THAT is true friendship! :-)  And you can never have enough such friends!  Thank you!

Life's Desserts

I've been thinking about some things this morning.  I have three amazing kids! They all came at times and in seasons that I probably would not have picked.  But I am seeing more and more each day the WISDOM and PERFECT ORDER of each of those times and seasons . . . and of each of our children joining and creating our family.  But there are those moments . . . .

At the Easter Egg hunt last week, I LONGED . . . LONGED . . . to be a volunteer coordinator again, planning community events and projects like that and at the front lines and cross roads heading it all up and basking in the joy I knew I was making possible for those kids to have.  In fact, in this large metropolis that is really a distant extension of L.A., there are SO MANY needs in the community that I wish I could be a part of fulfilling.  And whenever I drive by the college I think about how much FUN it would be to teach again . . . or even tutor people who need extra help . . . because I know I am GOOD at those things.  And they make my heart sing!  I'm working on pinning it down to one thing I CAN do - through service somewhere once a month or once a week - but the time.  The time involved.  The time and opportunity and the time necessary to find the opportunity.  And then finding something to do with my kids while I TAKE the opportunity.  It gets complicated.

In the midst of all of this, I had the thought -- what if I just had one child.  Or what if I had a part-time job.  Or what if I had successfully put off having children and didn't have any right now . . . .

And then I picked Brianna up off the floor where she had been contently, even excitedly, playing with . . . a sock and a measuring cup.  And she started kicking her legs and flapping her arms and smiling and even laughed in glee as soon as I picked her up.  And in came her wide-open mouth up to my cheek to give me a kiss as I pulled her in for a hug.  And down the hall, the twins came running in -- Abby running away from Isaac as they played tag (except she always shuts the door behind her so he can't get her -- I guess she's still learning that doors aren't really a part of the game of tag).  They were both laughing hysterically, Abby half-dressed with her shirt on backwards (because she dresses herself these days and is VERY adamant about it) enjoying every second and calling to me to protect them!

And my heart smiled.  And took a picture. The other things . . . those are pictures I already have in my heart . . . or even pictures I have plenty of time to take someday.  But these children.  These pictures.  These only happen now.  These are irreplaceable.  These aren't planned or budgeted in or even aptly recorded more than in my heart and mind most of the time.  And they are fleeting . . . so fleeting!  And when they are through, I will have created more than a moment . . . but a life.  A life that will live a lifetime and beyond.  A life that will affect other lives.  And create other lives.  Right now I have three of them, actually -- and that's a lot of living I need to be concerned with right now!  That's a lot of time I need to be focused on right now.

So I typed this as my Facebook Status: 

If we didn't have 3 kids, we would have a lot more money and time to do things like game nights, hobbies, working out, backpacking, vacations, traveling, date nights OUT, cruises, gadgets, new clothes --- we would have a LOT LESS smiles, laughs, hugs, slobbery kisses, adoration, emulation, discoveries you take for granted every day, perspective, hilarious one-liners, water fights, dirt fights, "I yuv you may much!" and other things that melt your heart 1,000 times over, tickle fights that make your sides hurt even if you AREN'T a part of them (not to mention your EARS!), cuddles and snuggles to your heart's desire, story time whenever you want, snack time five to six times a DAY, the list is endless. The trade-off? TOTALLY worth it. And those other things - there's a time and a season for everything!

"If dinner was always dessert, what joy would dessert hold?"  Originally I thought of that in terms of all the things I was missing right now as I focus on my dinner and long for my dessert.  But then my heart took a picture that reminded me that these kids are a lifetime of desserts.  Dinner is the daily grind . . . necessary, but not necessarily monumental or memorable most days of the week.  The rest of the things that my kids are and bring to me . . . that's all desserts.  And I need dinner to really appreciate them.  So I'll bask in and be thankful for both!

Making the Cut(s)

My friend invited me to a Pampered Chef party, and I realized I would love to go, but I would be tempted to buy because I absolutely LOVE Pampered Chef.  But right now . . . THIS minute, THIS month, THIS summer, we are saving every penny to try and fill some needs in my extended family and build up our food storage and put away money for a rainy day (or national disaster or terrorist attack - small things like that).  On top of that, we are trying to put any extra money towards paying off Dave's student loans as quickly as possible.  Why?  Well, for obvious reasons.  Not the least of which is the fact that I believe we have a prophet of God on earth today, that he is a prophet, seer, and revelator, and that he has counseled us -- in fact, prophets for decades have counseled us -- to get out of debt and stay out of debt!  To put away a three-month supply of food that is part of our normal diets for emergency situations.  To put away a year's supply (per person) of food that is for long-term use.  To have a 72-hour kit for each person on hand.  To put away enough money to live for three months (eventually for one year) without any income.

Yes, all these things need to be tackled in wisdom and order.  But it is in GOD'S WISDOM and ORDER, not man's.  Men have a way of putting order to things that leaves the essentials at the bottom of the list of things that never get done while the niceties rise to the top of the list of things that never get left undone.  Hence the reason we are in such economic strife right now - we don't know how to say enough, live within your means, separate needs from wants and put your house in order before you buy the extras.  )Take care of your own country before you lend money and support to the world to look good to them, all the while leaving yourself without oxygen when the airplane crashes!).  Let go of the Joneses and live like the "Chaffee's" and be content with what you have until you can AFFORD to have something more.

And it is in lieu of all that is happening in the world today,the disorder and the major things that are happening DAILY, without notice or respect of persons . . . my wisdom and order thermometer goes RED to the point of breaking at the urgency of these situations and the need to make TODAY the day that I "dam the torpedoes, full speed ahead" find a way to FOLLOW the PROPHET!  To be prepared so that I "will not fear."

All of that said, there are small things that pull on my heartstrings every day.  Things like Pampered Chef parties, sugar-free candy splurges, family vacations, things that would make living in the middle of the desert a LOT more comfortable for three small children, marathons I really want to be training for and gym memberships and running shoes I really can't afford that would help me get there, vacations and outings I would love to participate in, babysitters for me time and us time three or four times a week that I would love to be able to afford, gas for day trips or family weekend trips to L.A. or trails we can "hike" with the kids; money to make trips home for birthday parties, baby blessings, concerts, barbeques, so many things.  I would love to have a sewing table and craft corner all set up in my room.  And I would love to have money to buy fabric to start making Brianna's quilt, to take lessons at the quilt stores or do a block a month there.  And it would have been nice to buy the kids matching Easter outfits, fourth of July outfits, Christmas outfits.  I would love to fly my mom down for a week or two to do some fun projects together (also getting a babysitter a few hours a day to have time to DO a project or two without the kids) . . . or take the kids on some fun adventures I really can't handle on my own.Or go to a community theater production or Broadway or other musical with my husband (tickets are NOT cheap even for community theater).  Or the Circus that is coming to town - that would be a lot of fun, too, right?

And I think about the extra hour and a half a day that we don't have with Dave anymore because gas got too expensive for him to drive so he now rides the commuter van and has to work around its schedule.

These are just small things that have come up in the last week or two -- things I have smiled and said no to or cried inside about or walked away from or watched someone else do with longing.

And for a minute, I saw that those doing and/or inviting have just one baby . . . and family nearby . . . and husbands who have worked in their careers more than a year . . . and part-time jobs of their own, doing things they are passionate about and making money they can use to splurge for their wants (not to be confused with the friends I have who work to meet their NEEDS).  And I thought for 60 seconds that they somehow have it better.  But then I realized that it isn't about better or worse.  It's about them living their lives within their means, following what their heart tells them to do and me doing the same.  And at the end of the day, I only have to be at peace with and happy about MY decisions.  And right now Dave and I are CHOOSING to make the cut . . . . make all the cuts necessary to simply FOLLOW THE PROPHET and BE PREPARED!

Defining Moments

Yesterday at Sam's Club, the lady checking our basket as we left had buttons on her jacket with pictures of her little boy.  Curious George and his co-pilot, Curious Georgina quickly noticed and asked her, "What's that?" pointing to her buttons.  She told them it was her little boy playing baseball.  Then they pointed to the other button and said, "What's that?" and she explained it was the same boy playing soccer.  Then she said, "Except he just plays soccer now - he doesn't want to do baseball anymore.  And it's expensive, but gotta keep 'em active so they keep out of trouble.  No other way to raise kids these days."  I smiled, thanked her, the kids enthusiastically called and waved, "BYE!" as we left.  And it stuck with me.

Today as I drove home from getting food for the week, I heard an interview on a Christian radio station.  The gist of the conversation was on how to save your kids in today's world.  They talked about how things have changed, how sensuality has changed the focus of our society, even for young children.  They talked about how many kids and teens say they would rather die than be seen as uncool - or for girls (and I DO mean girls) as un-"sexy."  Mortality rates due to eating disorders have apparently risen; and parents teaching the biblical teaching of abstinence is seen as a thing of the past - an almost laughable thing of the past since most kids see anywhere with anyone at anytime as completely acceptable and normal.  And they talked about how the media has influenced and shaped this even more than a teen's peers.  IN FACT, the MEDIA has become this generation of teens' #1PEER GROUP. 

My mind jumped to a few other conversations:
1) A woman spoke to us about our church's family night and said that it was an IDEAL time to discuss difficult topics like sex, pornography, and drugs.  In fact, in one of their family night discussions, they spoke in detail about pornography: what it was, where it was found, why it was bad, what to do if they were ever confronted by it at school, on the computer, etc.  Their fifth-grader returned home later that week, running into the house and up to his mom and told her, slightly out of breath, "MOM!  Remember that P-word stuff we talked about in family night on Monday?  So-and-so brought a magazine to school today and showed me some, and I told him to put it away because I don't look at stuff like that."  A FIFTH grade boy.  That mother shared that perhaps the reason a teen is said to turn to and listen to his peers is not because those people are most important to him but because his parents throw him into those groups instead of making home and family their core group where they spend the majority of their time.  Parents register them for every activity on the planet, keeping them busy to keep them out of trouble but never register them for time with the family where they will REALLY learn about the things that will keep them out of trouble.  The radio talk show also addressed the fact that one of the first thing a parent who has a troubled teen in an emergency situation needs to do is schedule a date with that teen on a weekly basis -- not to lecture or discuss the emergency, just to hang out, connect, become friends, be together. Truly, the FAMILY, is central to God's plan to protect and support and sustain us in times when society will fail.

2) In church we had a lesson on Pornography.  A lady shared that her 12-year-old nephew had been introduced to it after a church activity by some members of his church group.  They had subsequently ALL become addicted and it was some time before their parents caught on to what was happening and were able to intervene.  I say intervene - because overcoming pornography is something that many of my friends can attest will take a LIFETIME of intervention and committed dedication.  And the scars it leaves on the wives and children stuck in the process will take at least that long to heal. I have realized many times that pornography doesn't just pop up for those seeking it or in chat rooms or grocery lines.  And the fact that PARENTS are addicted means that more CHILDREN become exposed.  And those children share.  And church groups and homes are not necessarily sanctuaries from these things.  We have to make a conscious effort to MAKE them sanctuaries but also be on top of KEEPING them sanctuaries by being involved in our kids lives and KNOWING what is going on, not just assuming that weekly church attendance and a picture of the prophet on the wall and christian hymns on the radio or ipod are going to secure our home is protected.

3) While I was at my mom's we were watching an episode of "The Doctors."  They were talking about sexually transmitted diseases and how they need to give condoms to THIRD GRADERS because of the number of instances of STD's - particularly life-long and incurable ones like HIV - that pop up in hospitals among those THIRD GRADE children.  They said parents need to pull their heads out and realize that this is a reality and go to bat for their kids by giving them condoms and education that will protect them from ruining their lives so young by contracting these STD's. 

4) My sister, who teaches Family and Consumer Sciences in a predominantly-Christian area, is forbidden from speaking about sex, sexuality, protection, etc. in all its forms.  Even to her high school students.  She presented a lesson plan which included her having her students make bookmarks of 101 ways to say I LOVE YOU without having sex.  She was told she could NOT teach something like that and would be written up if she dared.  She is teaching, after all, in a very Christian community; and the parents of her students do not feel comfortable with someone mentioning sex or teaching sex education in such a public arena.  Those same students laugh at her whenever she talks about dating do's and dont's and tell her that they are WAY beyond talking about kissing among their friends with "benefits."  And they make it clear that those benefits are NOT holding hands and kissing.  A few students have even come to her to ask her what they should do about an unplanned pregnancy because they can't tell their parents - they'll be shunned and thrown out of the house if their parents know.

So here I sit with two-year-olds, trying to put into words and a plan in my mind what to do with all of this information in a quickly-changing world whose morals, I am afraid, have spiraled downwards way more quickly than anyone foresaw.  I say anyone, but the youth pamphlet that my church puts out has addressed these things for years.  I'm thankful to be a part of a church community where there are resources - even though I am learning that this is DEFINITELY not going to be nearly enough!  But it is still nice to have watchmen on the towers!  And now it's up to me to not be ignorant and to be proactive about all of this.

Be Still, My Soul

Just a few thoughts that are running disjointedly through my head.  Sorry my blog isn't a picture book - I guess my world doesn't happen in pictures! ;-D

"Be still, my soul - the Lord is on thy side!" I am really feeling the tender mercies of the Lord today.  I feel so incredibly blessed.  When you do all you can, He truly does make up the difference.  Sometimes "all you can do" takes you to the very edge of what you have the strength to bear.  And when He has tested your heartstrings and found He still has center place in your heart, He makes it all a little easier to bear, helps you even to feel it is a blessing to struggle and a blessing to have the struggling lifted or even removed. 

"Be still and know that I am God."  In the end, this is what He is working for.  He doesn't worry about depleting funds.  He doesn't worry about sickness or disease or death or trial.  He is all about HAVING your heart.  Having us KNOW that He is God - God over all.  In and about and through and over everything you could ever experience or struggle with.

"Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin . . . .Wherefore, if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith. Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself."

And there is the real test - seek the Kingdom of God and all other things will be added unto you. Don't pull up or cast away the seed of faith because of fear or doubt or lack of answers.  The Lord is on YOUR side.  And He will take care of everything you need if you will just give Him your heart.

And finally, Neal A. Maxwell taught, "As you submit your wills to God, you are giving Him the only thing you can actually give Him that is really yours to give. Don't wait too long to find the altar or to begin to place the gift of your wills upon it! No need to wait for a receipt; the Lord has His own special ways of acknowledging."

'Tis the Season

It's been a hard last four months, but today I want to write about how watchful and mindful of us the Lord has been.

Remember when I was in Boise with sick kids, waiting for Dave to recover and trying to get home?  He got a call one afternoon that essentially told him that if he didn't drill by the end of that day, he was being discharged from the National Guard.  Which led to me getting a call from my husband that I better not take the kids to the doctor until future notice.  I called the insurance and verified that we did, in fact, lose all coverage effective the date of discharge.  And I cried.  A lot.  There were other unknowns and are other repercussions of his discharge that came with it, but nothing hit me as hard as losing health insurance.

A few weeks went by.  Dave called and left messages, trying to find out what was going on, when his discharge day was, if he had already been discharged, etc. And we never heard back.  Then Abby got sick.  So Dave went on base and got into his records and found out he hadn't been discharged yet.  So I took her to the doctor.  Then I got sick.  Then Isaac.  Each time, it was okay, we were still on, we could still go to the doctor.  Then one day a woman called and told Dave that his official discharge date was Dec. 20.  And she apologized left and right for the way it had all been handled and the lack of communication on their end.

That was great until Tuesday when Isaac and Abby were diagnosed with chronic ear infections -- meaning there is fluid on their ears that won't go away with antibiotics and has to be manually drained in an outpatient surgery when they put tubes in their ears.  We were referred to a doctor, she couldn't get us in until January.  We had planned on switching insurances in January, so we thought - "No big deal, we'll just wait until the new insurance kicks in and get it taken care of then."  Then Abby woke up crying this morning and told me, "Mommy, ear hurt, need go to doctor."

Great.  So we have two children with ear infections that won't respond to antibiotics, fluid that is building up and causing them extreme discomfort/intolerable pain, a doctor that can't see us until January, insurance that ends on Sunday.  I called the doctor back and said that I needed some help knowing what my options are and what I should do with these two toddlers.  She called back and told me to try another ENT Specialist.  So I called, and they can get me in tomorrow; however, THURSDAY (today) is the doctor's surgery day, so the soonest they could get operated on would be next Thursday, which is only if the hospital has room on the schedule to put in two more patients.  And, either way, we won't have insurance.  The nurse at the ENT specialist's office also told me the worst-case scenario is that the fluid will build until the ear drum breaks and the fluid comes out.  And the ear drum will generally heal itself, we would just probably need antibiotic drops to get the kids through it, which without insurance would cost us around $260 for the two kids.  Do-able.  Not favorable, but do-able.  She explained the protocol for taking care of the kids if the ear drums did break, bathing procedures, etc., and said that without surgery a broken ear drum could, in the long run, lead to hearing damage/loss.  I listened to it all and took notes on everything she said -- worried, relieved, etc. Though in my mind I was already crying at the thought of watching them go through that much pain for that long until the drum just broke on its own.  I went ahead and got them the appointment for tomorrow.

And then I did what any good parent would do and started to pray HARD.  I called and told Dave what had happened and asked him if could please try to get in touch with the Sergeant in charge of his discharge and see if, by some chance, the paperwork had fallen through the cracks again or they were waiting on someone to get back from vacation and it hadn't been signed or SOMETHING that might make it so we had insurance longer than the previously-established date of December 20.

And I called my mom who urged me to talk to Dave's work and see if, since he had involuntarily lost insurance coverage, there was a way to get on insurance prior to the date they had given him already.

I was about to go and look up a number to call when Dave called me and said, "Um - so I talked to Sgt. ???????, and we have coverage until December 31, at least, possibly longer than that.  She said she can't guarantee coverage past that, but she can guarantee we will have it until December 31."  I was speechless and got out something like, "How?  Why?"  And he said she was basically holding it for signatures through that date as a favor to us because of this situation and -- I think -- because she still felt bad about the lack of communication throughout all of this.

Or maybe you can scratch all of the above - or loop it all together - and just say that Heavenly Father needed me to know today that He is still aware of ME and is watching out for us because He knows we are doing all we can do.  And that is the story I am sure I can join with countless others this holiday season as many people see and feel the hand of the Lord and His miracles in their lives.

But you know what?  I don't think it's limited to this season.  I think this is just the time when we have eyes to see and ears to hear.  And I hope I can do better at seeing and hearing all the time to take note of and offer thanks for the miracles that happen in my life, and the lives of those I love, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Update 12/17: We went to the ENT Specialist this morning and have surgery scheduled for next Thursday, Dec. 23.  I am incredibly nervous as a mother - it is going to be so hard to see them go through all of the pre-op stuff and get put to sleep.  And I know they are going to seriously FREAK OUT!  I'm crying already at the thought.  BUT, I also know that this will be the end to a LOT of misery and pain and sleepless nights.  And for that, I am so thankful for modern medicine and that they don't have to get to the point of having so much fluid build up that their eardrums break on their own.  They'll be able to hear better and sleep better and not have Tylenol and Ibuprofen on the top of their best friends forever list.  After last night's tears and cries all night from Abigail, I think that would be even more miserable to watch.

Prayer of the Children

Can you hear the prayer of the children on bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room? Empty eyes with no more tears to cry turning heavenward toward the light.
Last night the kids were so moody and wound up that we decided, after a lot of attempts to get them settled down, some yelling and spanking for them not listening, some time-outs, etc., etc., etc. - to split them up and have one-on-one prayer with them.  Isaac and David had banged heads a little more than he and I had, so I took a broken-hearted and overtired Isaac into his room to have prayer while Daddy got a hyper-active, bouncing off the walls Abby.

When we entered his room, he immediately knelt down on the floor.  I followed suit.  He climbed up on my lap for a minute, and I gave him a hug, and then he knelt down in front of me and said,

"Dear Heavenly Father - thank oo this day, please bless Isaac, no more spankins, in the name of Jesus Kist - Awmen."

It was all said very quietly, through a few leftover sobs.  I was speechless.  I didn't even say amen because I didn't know what to say.  His tired, tearful blue eyes looked up at me.  He climbed up on my lap and got another hug and then quickly knelt back down and said his normal prayer. 

During all of this, I hadn't said anything.  And I realized he probably noticed I didn't say amen and decided he hadn't said his prayer right and needed to say it again.  I softly said amen this time, not wanting to send the wrong message, and pulled him into a big hug and told him I had loved BOTH of his prayers and was very proud of him and that we had had a really hard night but we loved him very, VERY much. 

He got right into bed, and I went to find his cup of milk.  And paused en route to tell his daddy what he had just prayed.  Then Daddy took a minute to go in and talk to his tender-hearted little boy.  He left Isaac laughing, smiling, and Isaac returned David's "I love you" with "Yuv you" - which has become less common as an immediate response lately.

Can you hear the prayers of the children?  They're walking through the shadows of so many unknown rooms, trying to figure out what it's all about, what their boundaries are, what their voices are, what they can do and what it's okay to feel and when it's okay to just say now or no or enough or "I no want it" or stop or help or "please bless Isaac, no more spankins."

I was amazed and so thankful that my little two-year-old has already learned the concept of prayer and asking for what is in your heart.  Because I know from so many experiences that THAT is what will get him out of those shadows.  That THAT is what will put him in tune with the LIGHT that he will need in unknown rooms my crazy imagination hasn't even visualized.  And I know that he has just reminded ME of this fact because sometimes I forget.

And I know we make so many mistakes along the way with him - with both of them - with each other, even.  But I guess that's what walking through and kneeling in unknown shadows is all about - learning, gaining enlightenment, coming to know -- know our limitations, know our strengths; know our hearts, know our way, know when to crawl, when to walk, and when to stop and kneel; know how to rise and walk and apologize and laugh and love and sleep and wake and try again -- another day.

And all this speechless mommy can say to this whole experience is: Amen, Isaac!  Amen.

Christmas Around the World

I don't want to take away from my last post.  If you love Beauty and the Beast, you HAVE to read it.  But I am also really excited about our Ward Christmas Party this year and wanted to write about it.  I mulled over a lot of ideas!  And in the end, this one just felt RIGHT.  Dave found a free Christmas card on the web and used it to create our announcement.  Isn't it so amazing?  He did a great job!!!!  Without further adieu . . .

What I really wanted to do for this activity is focus on the strong testimony I have of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World, Emmanuel, the Beginning and the End, the Light and the Life of the World - and His incredible life that began with such a humble birth.  We have two accounts of His life and teachings, including His birth.  One in the Bible, another in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.  I wanted to remind our Ward members that we are so blessed to know that the Earth received her King, not only in Jerusalem where the bright star shone over the humble stable in Bethlehem but also in other parts of the world.  We have record, for example, of the sign of his birth in a town called Zarahemla on the American continent.  There wasn't a star, but there was a day and a night and a day without darkness.  The Light of the world had come, and that was the sign to believer and non-believer alike - a night bright as day.  It will be amazing someday to see what other signs the Lord used to communicate to His other children around the world at that time that Jesus Christ, of whom the prophets had testified and witnessed and prepared the world, had indeed been born on that day.  We now call it Christmas.  And it is celebrated all over the world, in different ways by different cultures.  And it has always been an international event, celebrated and announced in different ways but representing the same, unifying occasion: the birth of Christ.

So that was the focus for the theme.  Not just on the spiritual side of Christ being born but also on the secular side of Christmas and giving and all the joys and traditions, different though they may be, around the world.  I found the idea on the web, though I don't remember where, and we tweaked it a bit for our little area.  Here's the general outline, in case you are ever interested in doing this or something similar:

Date/Time: Friday, December 10 - 6:00 p.m.

Theme: Christmas Around the World

 

Dinner:

Tri-Tip Steak and Ham

Baked Potatoes and Baked Sweet Potatoes/Yams

Green Salad

Green Beans

Desserts

* We are going to pass around sign-up sheets on Sunday for people to bake the potatoes and bring desserts.

 

Decorations:

Christmas Trees in each of the Four Corners

Country-themed Table Decorations

Lights and Garland around the gym

* We are going to pass around sign-up sheets on Sunday for people to volunteer to do a centerpiece representing different countries.  

We'll fill in the gaps for the rest of the tables and serving tables

 

Program:

Ward Choir and youth will do their numbers from the Stake Nativity Night/Program.  Then there will be a few other special numbers.  As many as possible will include the music in different languages, performed by people who lived or served in other countries and members of the Ward of different nationalities.

 

MEANWHILE back at the ranch . . .

 

We'll do Christmas Around the World activities with the children.  

 

Activities/Countries will include:

Germany -- Graham Cracker houses and Gingerbread Cookies to decorate

England -- Christmas cards for missionaries and/or snowflakes

Japan -- Fans and Origami Swans

Mexico -- Shoes with candy and Paper Plate Morraccas

Phillipines -- TBA

After the children are done, we'll have them come out and sing the last song on the program and then have a ward sing-along of both traditional songs and hymns until Santa comes in.  Then we'll have him go to another room where the children will be invited to sit on his lap and have a picture taken.

 

Giving Tree

We are going to do a money giving tree, a fabric tree with buttons for hanging Christmas die-cuts with amounts written on them.  Then the Bishop will take the money and distribute it to needy families to provide food, pay bills, buy Christmas for their children, etc.

 

Publicity

Bulletin

Larger Poster for our spot in the hall

Fliers

* We're going to ask everyone to take one for themselves and one to give away to a friend.

I am WOMAN! (And LOVE it!)

Of all the debates out there in the world today, there is one that never ceases to blow my mind.  It's that whole "equality" issue.  All of these specific groups calling for their "rights" -- and all of them centered around the argument that we all have to be equal.  And I am really starting to wonder what that even means, if we even know, or if we've gotten so used to throwing it around in the name of all things "unfair and unjust" that we have totally LOST sight of what EQUALITY really is.

I remember a conversation I had my first or second year of college.  I was talking to a fairly flamboyant and proud-of-her-feminism young woman.  As I listened to her, I wondered if she knew how hard and ridiculous she was sounding.  Finally I said something like, "Well - I don't know about all of that.  And maybe you do want to be everything a MAN is and do everything a MAN does.  But me, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE A MAN.  I just want to be a really strong woman!"

I've thought about that a few times since.  I mean, if I had lived during the time of Abigail Adams -- I would have been a die-hard feminist in every sense of the word for the things SHE was fighting for and felt strongly about.  The same with Jane Addams.  And Jane Austen.  Oooh -- there are so MANY amazing "feminists" in history that make me smile just thinking about them.  But by my definition of righteous feminism, I wouldn't be a feminist with Nancy Peolosi or Hillary Clinton or so many others in today's world.  In fact, I am sad that when you do a search on influential women, you find so many women listed whose lives have stood for things that I would rather NOT have had influence history.  And these women have redefined what it means to be a "woman" and what our "gender roles" should be.  Ironically, few of them have had very much time for motherhood at all.  Or they had their one token child and that was it.  They seem to have been so caught up in living lives that put them on equal ground with men -- and being the "first" woman to do what has culturally been done by men -- that they forgot to make time to do one of the things that ONLY WOMEN CAN DO.  And that's just one example! :-)

Maybe seeing some of these women and what they would try to do to and with "womanhood" in the name of equality and personal rights is what led Elder Neal A. Maxwell to wisely observe,

"When the real history
of mankind is fully disclosed,

will it feature
the echoes of gunfire or

the shaping sound of lullabies?

The great armistices made by military men or

the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods?

Will what happened in cradles and kitchens

prove to be more controlling than

what happened in congresses?"

I remember Sister Margaret D. Nadauld speaking in a General Conference  on the "Joy of Womanhood" and she said,
"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."

And lets just be honest!  To be a woman who is tender, kind, refined, filled with faith and goodness and virtue and purity -- that is NO SMALL TASK!!!  I mean, after studying Proverbs 31, I think I could work my WHOLE LIFE to just become a woman of virtue! I wonder how many women in the world spend their time thinking about and striving to become these things.   


This has since become one of my favorite quotes!  Not only does it provide an AWESOME example of PROFOUND alliteration, but it also provides an AWESOME standard for where women of today have to FIGHT to get back to because of the direction some of the women of yesterday have taken in the name of "gender equality."

When I was majoring in Creative Writing at Southern Virginia University, I wrote this poem:

As society seeks to build

Strong Women,

I fear I will

have to Be Stronger

to Be a Mother

not only to my own children but

to my

Neighborhood,

Country,

World.

I am grateful I am a woman!  I am grateful that I have things I CAN do and MUST do that men will NEVER be able to do!  I am grateful that my husband is a man.  I am grateful that he has things that he CAN do and MUST do that I will NEVER be able to do!  And I am grateful that I get to learn even MORE about strength in gender as I mother my children and learn and grow from their DIFFERENCES every day!

The Happiness Leak . . .

"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."
The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Doesn't this picture just FILL you up with HAPPINESS (and these aren't even YOUR crazy kids)?!?!?!?!!? I mean, look at the looks on their faces, the absolute joy, the complete lack of any inhibition. The laughter that comes from deep down in their bellies, the kind you can't help but let out -- no matter how silly or annoying or obnoxious it might sound to other people.  You can feel that they just HAVE TO LAUGH because they are JUST THAT HAPPY! My kids experience it and pull it out of me EVERY DAY! They KNOW happiness!

But you don't get this out of adults as much as you get it from kids. Why is that?

I especially notice this in big cities -- like when I visited Chicago while presenting at a national conference a few years ago. No one looked up -- everyone rushed to and fro on the busy sidewalks, trying to get where they were headed as quickly as possible. And heaven help you if you accidentally bumped into one of them and detained them for even a moment from their course. No one was smiling. No one was talking with their friends or casually making eye contact with, saying hello to, and smiling at the people passing them by.

If you haven't read The Pig of Happiness, I HIGHLY recommend it!!! HIGHLY! My dear friend, Emily, gave it to me for Christmas after the twins were born, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!

It's about a pig, a pig that is completely ordinary -- EXCEPT that this pig HATES the mumbling and grumbling that is so naturally the way with other pigs. SO the pig decides to change it!

"I know," thought the pig. "I shall become an EXTRAORDINARY pig! From now on I shall stand for everything that is LIGHT and BEAUTIFUL and TRUE and WONDERFUL. I shall see the BEST in EVERYONE and the BEST in EVERYTHING! I shall become the PIG OF HAPPINESS!"

And the pig DID . . . to the point that the happiness eventually (in a few short pages) seaped out from inside of the pig and was absorbed and reflected by others around it . . . and THEY became happy, too!

And so it goes when we follow Christ! We stand for everything that is LIGHT and BEAUTIFUL and TRUE and WONDERFUL and denounce everything that isn't. And then, we see others as children of God, see the BEST in EVERYONE and the BEST in EVERYTHING!!! And we are HAPPY! Truly HAPPY! And then that happiness spreads . . . it spreads to our children, to our neighborhoods, to our workplaces, to our schools, to our world. Just one bold denouncement of "evil" in all its forms at a time.

Imagine that deep-down-in-the-belly, genuine laughter of happiness echoing all over the streets of this crazy world! Hey -- it could happen!

I Am A Child of God

I read my friend Carrie's post on one line in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and it reminded me of something I don't think I've recorded anywhere yet.  So here's the PERFECT opportunity!

My mom had told me for as long as I could remember that I would only be able to go to college if I got scholarships, because neither she nor my dad would ever be able to help me financially.  She also taught me that I should follow the Lord's counsel, as given through His holy prophets, and stay out of debt.  I think it went something like, "Marriage is hard enough without you placing your educational debts on your husband's back to have to pay off someday."  So, I did everything I could to get good grades, make myself a well-rounded individual through community service and school leadership opportunities, and then I applied to schools. 

The first year was completely paid for!  I don't remember even having to get a job that year. 

The second, however, was a different story.  I remember spending the summer before applying for every scholarship I could find.  And I worked three jobs -- one at a local laundry mat, one as a tutor in the Reading Lab, and one on the weekends in a hotel.  As the beginning of the school year neared, I was still short $1,500 -- and that was WITH me budgeting in work at two of the three jobs throughout the school year. 

About three weeks before school started, I was talking to my mom, telling her I didn't know what else I could do.  I had paid my tithing and done everything I could, but I was still short.  And I hadn't heard back from my school about a few scholarships I had applied for.  So she suggested I call them and see if they had made any decisions or could tell me when they might have a decision made on their scholarships and go from there. 

I did.  And after putting me on hold to look at my file, the woman came back and said, "I don't know what happened, but we have a leadership award for you for $1,500 that we've been waiting to hear back from you on whether you accept it or not.  I guess you didn't get the award letter yet.  I'll put another one in the mail today.  Be sure to send your acceptance back as soon as possible so we don't assume you don't want it and award it to someone else."  Wow!  A scholarship in the EXACT amount that I had been short.  And I knelt and said a prayer of thanks before I went and told my mom what had happened.  Heavenly Father knew who I was and what my situation and desires were, and He had responded accordingly. 

Fast forward eight years and many, many more experiences like this one.  After finishing my B.A. and M.A. single and entering the workforce, I realized that I had met the man of my dreams and decided (after two years of being friends and dating) to marry him.  We felt right about each other, right about our decision, and right about the date we had chosen -- December 15. 

There was just one glitch: He had been married before, and we needed clearance from the First Presidency to be sealed together for time and all eternity in a Temple of the Lord.  NOT getting married in the Temple was NOT an option.  It just wasn't.  So we did everything we needed to do and submitted our request in early October. 

And then we waited.  And our date neared.  And we waited.  And our families started to wonder if we were having a wedding or not.  And we waited.  And our invitations sat, stamped and addressed, but not quite ready to mail yet.  And we waited.  The holidays neared, and we began to wonder if the fairly new First Presidency would be meeting regularly or taking breaks that would detain them from receiving and responding to what I could only imagine were mass amounts of mail from members all over the world. 

So, we fasted and prayed the first weekend in November that the First Presidency would receive our appeal before Thanksgiving, before they might be separating for the holidays, and we would hear back in time to get everything pulled together for our wedding.

Through all of this, many people cast doubts in our way, telling us stories of couples that had waited six months to a year before they got clearance, of couples in our area that were still waiting.  Someone even told me that they had only heard of one case that was faster -- the nephew of one of the prophets had gotten clearance in a few months; but HE, of course, had connections. 

For a moment, I was discouraged.  But then the thought came clearly into my mind, "Melinda - who was HE and who are you?  He wasn't the nephew of a prophet; he was a son of God.  And YOU are a daughter of God.  The only person whose connections you need, you already have."  So I prayed again that Heavenly Father would put His hand in our situation and make sure our appeal reached the First Presideny's desks and whisper in the prophet's ears that we needed to get married December 15.  And if it wasn't too much trouble, I asked that He pull everything together before Thanksgiving.  Talk about specific . . . and BOLD!!! ;-D

I had a bridal shower after Thanksgiving, and we still had not heard anything from the First Presidency.  In fact, the night before my shower, Dave finally gave me my ring on a rose -- the closest thing to a proposal I got from him.  (He said he had been waiting for the letter, but he wanted me to have my ring for my bridal shower.) 

That evening as I was closing at work, Dave came and knocked on the glass door.  I was so surprised to see him!  He had been at Drill all day and had a night with the boys planned.  I opened the door, and he just waved an envelope in front of me.  I screamed, hugged him, and we opened it together, tears in our eyes (though he'd deny it to his DEATH), our hearts overflowing!  We said a prayer of thanks and then proceeded to call the Temple and schedule a date and call our families and friends and let them know we could move ahead with everything. 

Later, when I was looking at the letter and just feeling over and over again how thankful I was, I was struck by the date.  It had been signed two days before Thanksgiving.  It had just taken a little longer, with the holidays, to get TO us.  But our prayers had truly been answered in every detail!  And we were sealed for time and all eternity just two weeks later!

I am a daughter of God.  You are a child of God.  There is nothing more or less exceptional about me than that -- certainly nothing that would make me an exception in receiving specific and miraculous blessings from God that others could not also receive!

One of my favorite scriptures is found in Romans, Chapter 8: 16-17 --

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that
we are the children of God: 

And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and
joint-heirs with Christ;

if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also
glorified together."

I need to do better at remembering all of this!

God's Family . . . My Family

I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I am celebrating FAMILY this month with some other fantabulous bloggers in the virtual world of the internet . . . and the anniversary of The Family: A Proclamation to the World.  Today's focus is on the fact that Family is CENTRAL to God's Plan of Happiness.  And He is central to OUR happiness.  Check out this post.  And now, my two bits (cuz you may have noticed that I ALWAYS have SOMETHING to say! ;-D):

This is actually really good for me to remember today.  There are a few things that I have had to work really hard for in my life -- MOTHERHOOD is at the TOP of that list.  Marriage is another.  Then there are those daily, weekly, hourly things that pop up and you deal with or simply put out of your mind for sanity's sake because you know you do not have and will not get answers right away, so there's no point dwelling on and worrying about them.  My friend Kristen once reminded me that "worrying does not empty tomorrow of it's troubles, it empties today of its strengths."  I try, TRY, try, T-R-Y to remember that. 

But of all the things that I have had to work hard for, work hard to achieve, to learn, to understand, to overcome, etc., there is one thing that has always been a part of me, always been so obvious and so real to me:  It is my knowledge that I am a daughter of God and that He loves me -- and my commitment to do anything to please Him and to make it back to His presence again some day.  I may not always remember this from day to day as I struggle along down the path of life, but I do ALWAYS -- and I mean always -- KNOW it! 

One of my favorite scriptures is where God is speaking to Moses and says, "For behold, this is my WORK and my GLORY -- to bring to pass the IMMORTALITY and ETERNAL LIFE of man."

Imagine that! I mean, really imagine it!  I'm an English major -- TWICE, crazy me -- and I know how important diction is to get your meaning across.  And God uses the words WORK and GLORY together.  What comes to mind when you think about, try to envision, the GLORY of God?  Words cannot express or describe, right?  And yet with all of that, He tells us that WE are His GLORY!!!  That our success . . . our receiving immortality and eternal life . . . is HIS life's GREAT WORK and is what brings Him His GLORY!!!  And can you see God WORKING on anything that isn't a SUCCESS?  I mean, He is GOD, after all -- and if He's working on it, He has ALL resources at His fingertips to make it a reality -- the GREATEST of which is the Atonement of Jesus Christ!

Now hopefully you won't feel so small today!

And when I think about my family, I realize that if that is what He is doing for me, that is what He is doing for my children -- HIS children. 

How is the FAMILY central to God's Plan of Happiness?  We are all the Family of God!  Individual families are just off-shoots, but collectively we ARE the children and FAMILY of God.  Nothing comes before or after that fact!  It's really ALL about family.  And HIS goal is to have HIS family -- every single one of His precious children -- back in His presence one day.  One HUGE and HAPPY family reunion!  (Who would want to miss THAT one?) 

And if I can hold onto THAT as I work to raise and rear and care for my off-shoot of God's family -- my branch of His marvelous Family Tree -- I can't help but know that HE is in it!  And after all I can do -- even all my mistakes and short-comings, try as I may -- HE will make up the difference for HIS children and make sure that THEIR needs are met so that they CAN return to Him.  Hard as it may be to imagine, He wants more for them than I do.  And He is much, much more capable of making that a REALITY than I will ever be!

You, too, by the way!  He's working for YOU today -- for YOUR success and happiness!  So, get to it! ;-D

Celebrate Family

Okay, so maybe you did and maybe you didn't notice the new button on my sidebar.  I don't add many, so hopefully it caught your eye without any extra distractions.  And I want to blog about this Month-Long blog party celebration of the FAMILY through the Family Proclamation. (Which is celebrating it's 15th YEAR!  Can you believe it?  I remember when it first came out!!!  Oh, boy . . . I remember when . . . that's a sign that I'm getting old, isn't it? ;-D)

First of all, if you don't know what the Family Proclamation is, or are feeling a little rusty since the last time you read it, you can read it here.  I took a minute to go back and read it; and I am so glad I did!

There are a few things that are constantly on my mind these days:

1) The condition of the world, particularly as it affects and will continue to affect my children.  I think about how I want to raise them, where I want to raise them, where they are going to best learn the values I work hard every day to teach them, where they will be the most free to grow and develop AWAY from the world and it's ever-digressing and changing ideologies, media, rhetoric, etc., so that they will be prepared to ENTER the world and face and CHANGE the falsehoods.

2) How I can be a better mother and LOVE LOVE LOVE every moment of this great adventure.  I am constantly looking for books, craft ideas, discipline tactics, activities, etc. that will help me to fill my children's lives with everything that is wholesome, good, praiseworthy, etc.  I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I struggle with this Mommy business . . . really struggle.  (Movie time, anyone?  Like two or three times a day sometimes?)  But I never stop seeking new ideas, greater strength to make it through with flying colors, a better way to understand and communicate with and teach my children, etc. And you know that JUST when I "think" I've gotten it down pat, they're going to move away to college! ;-D  Oh, well . . . as long as I'm prepared for it! :-)

3) That said, a third thing that I am very passionate about is making the world a better place.  I mean rolling up my sleeves, digging into, and even creating among all the wonderful resources there are out there for people trying to make a difference one.day.at.a.time.  In fact, sometimes I have this huge internal conflict between #2 and #3.  I'm working on it, though -- a work in progress for sure!  Even when I found this amazing blog, I was thinking, "See, now why didn't I think of doing something like THAT?  I would LOVE to be involved in planning and carrying out something like this!"  Well . . . I can!  And I'll try to NOT feel like I'm getting the crumbs off the table! ;-D

Tonight as I read this blog post about the MONTH-LONG CELEBRATION OF THE FAMILY and the Family Proclamation, I felt like I had some prayers answered. It's ALL right there, isn't it?  The answers to my daily struggles, fears, hopes, dreams, ambitions, etc.  It's ALL addressed in The Family Proclamation!  A a lot easier than what I keep trying to make it.  A LOT simpler.  And it gives me focus and parameters to keep me in line when I might be tempted to go out of bounds every now and then.  (After all, the grass really ISN'T greener on the other side . . . it's just someone else's grass!)  And I am so excited to join this month-long focus on the one thing that matters the MOST in my life!

What better way to prepare for the arrival of this new little baby at the end of that month?  I think this is just what I needed! (Well, one thing, anyway! Hahahahaha!  Wouldn't it be easy if this could answer ALL of my pre-baby needs/questions and take care of every bit of preparation?)

I hope you'll join as well!

Finding Strength

Among other things, today my thoughts have been centered around a little girl I have never met but pray constantly for.  Her name is Preslee, and she fell into a canal last week and was retrieved by a farmer a few miles down the canal from where she fell in.  She is still alive, but she has considerable brain damage.  The hope is that the damage is temporary and she can recover all of her abilities and live without machines very soon.  Right now, she and her parents are at Primary Children's in Salt Lake -- where she is heroically overcoming many obstacles and fighting for her life, strengthened I am sure by her parents' love and constant care.

As I looked at her pictures, I saw my little Abby!  And I wanted to run into her room, wake her from her nap, and just hold her and cuddle her and sing to her and make her laugh and never. let. go.

Of course, I didn't.  I sat contentedly with Isaac and just cuddled with him, content that he was content to sit with Mommy for a few moments without getting up and running off to explore and conquer! 

And I thought about how great it is to be a mom!  How hard it is almost every day, and yet it is also so rewarding.  I don't know what I would do if, in an instant -- or worse, over the course of several days or weeks of helplessness -- it was all taken away from me.  There would be an inexplicable void -- and I don't know that anything or anyone could ever fill it again.

And I prayed for a miracle for this little girl and her parents.  A miracle to serve as a capstone to the many tender mercies they are already experiencing.

Amid these thoughts and my other worries/concerns about things going on in life right now, I read a scripture from the Book of Mormon this morning that humbled me and brought me peace:

"[H]ow is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."  ~ 1 Nephi 7:12


From that moment, my prayer for this family and for myself is simply that the Lord will help us remember that together (He and me), WE can do ALL things according to HIS will.  And that's so much nicer than my rattling brain trying to do it all on my own!  I'm sure that is why this family has so much strength and so much peace!

Stay strong, Preslee! 

Teach the Children

As I have continued to reflect on the small and simple things and how these things will affect my children, I was drawn to this statement from a talk given by Elder D. Todd Christopherson of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Our teaching [in our home] should draw upon our own faith and focus first and foremost on instilling faith in God in the rising generation. We must declare the essential need to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before Him in soberness, or in other words, with reverence. Each must be persuaded that service and sacrifice for the well-being and happiness of others are far superior to making one’s own comfort and possessions the highest priority.

This requires more than an occasional reference to one or another gospel principle. There must be constant teaching, mostly by example. President Henry B. Eyring expressed the vision we strive to attain:

“The pure gospel of Jesus Christ must go down into the hearts of [our children] by the power of the Holy Ghost. It will not be enough for them to have had a spiritual witness of the truth and to want good things later. It will not be enough for them to hope for some future cleansing and strengthening. Our aim must be for them to become truly converted to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ while they are with us. . . .Then they will have gained a strength from what they are, not only from what they know. They will become disciples of Christ."

Elder David Bednar, also of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles, stated the following:
"May every spouse, every child, and every parent be blessed to communicate and receive love, to bear and be edified by strong testimony, and to become more consistent in the seemingly small things that matter so much. . . . In these important pursuits we will never be left alone. Our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son live. They love us and know our circumstances, and They will help us to become more diligent and concerned at home."

So I have a few questions for you: 

1) How have you made the transition from single woman to wife and mother in terms of your personal spirituality?  What have you learned?  What do you do differently to ensure you still get the quality of study and preparation when you don't always have time for the quantity?  How do you keep yourself spiritually in shape even when your husband is rarely home to give you time or even if you have to stay at home with sick kids on Sunday (or many Sundays) or if you sit by yourself with your kids during Sacrament Meeting/church while your husband fulfills other assignments/duties?

2) What specific traditions do you have in place (not generalities like scripture study, prayer, family home evening -- I know all of those, but I'm wondering what you do WITH those things - or what you are trying to do, have done in the past, hope to someday do because you know someone else who does it, etc.) to teach and prepare your children to go to battle with the full armor of God?  How have you changed/incorporated new things at different ages and stages in your children's lives and development?  What have you learned through the process/tweaked with subsequent children?  What has worked best . . . and what hasn't worked, for that matter?  What have you included during holidays or Sabbath days (to teach reverence without snacks, for example) or whatever other days?

For myself, I am working to establish a habit of morning prayer, mealtime prayers, a weekly story from the Friend for Family Home Evening, and a nightly hymn/children's song and family prayer before bed. For now, Dave and I have a second FHE together to focus on the things we need in order to be a family, prepare our family, and work through our individual challenges.  One other thing we do differently for FHE with the babies is sing a few fun songs -- Popcorn Popping, Book of Mormon Stories, etc. -- that we wouldn't sing in our nightly bedtime songs but are still interactive to do with the kids and have fun together.  We rarely miss companionship prayer (morning and night) and scripture study (Conference Talks from the Ensign). There are moments when I have read from the Book of Mormon with my children, though not many and usually just a verse.  We also used to watch General Conference together every morning as prepared/they ate breakfast.  Then I started to reconsider multi-tasking mealtime and haven't found a time to put it back in yet. That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

PLEASE SHARE!!!!

The Little Things

". . . by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6

This has been a crazy week for me, and it's only two days into it.  First I was involved in a pretty intense discussion about an article published in the New York Times by an ex-sister-missionary about her experiences on her mission (I don't think I have to spell out that it wasn't a positive article, particularly for me as a returned missionary who LOVED my mission and cannot fathom the idea that anyone could feel otherwise).  Then I returned to Facebook tonight and was looking up old friends that I haven't kept in touch with in many years.  I didn't get far before stumbling across the page of a young man I actually considered marrying at one point.  Imagine my immense sadness to see that he is presumably atheist now, drinks, smokes cigars, jokes around about using and dumping women to his heart's desire, talks about his support of people who divorce their parents and sees the absolute need for it in some cases, jokes around about visiting the LDS church and taking the sacrament just to throw the cups back in their faces and call them idiots for serving water when Jesus drank wine, . . . . the list goes on.

How do people reach this point?  Seriously. How in the world do these things happen?  Dave and I have had quite a few conversations in the last few days (to the point that he's kind of sick of hearing about certain topics/conversations over and over again -- sorry, Dave!) about testimony.  We have talked quite a bit about expressing your viewpoints when you don't agree with other people and where/when to draw the line.  We have talked quite a bit about our mission experiences, about invitations and council that we have received from the Lord and perhaps not followed through on quite as strongly as we should.

Essentially, it really does all boil down to a number of small things.

• Did you read your scriptures today?  Did you actually study them or did you just skim them?  Do you remember what you read?  Have you thought about how to apply it to your life and how it relates to your personal struggles, joys, life changes, etc.?  If you are married, did you take time to have a meaningful gospel-related conversation and/or study something together and discuss how to apply it in your marriage, home, and family? Have you made and/or taken time to have a testimony-building or affirming conversation with your children, to bear testimony to them and give them a chance to feel the power of the Word of God?
  
• Did you pray today?  How many times?  For what purpose?  With what intent?  Do you remember what you said?  Did you take time to listen and hear and feel that God was listening to you and what His message might be to you regarding the things on your mind?  Did you start your day with a prayer, end your day with a prayer, and actually pray throughout the day as you felt to give thanks, feared and needed peace, doubted and needed answers, etc.?  Did you TALK to your Heavenly Father?  Did you feel His love for you?  Did you include the invitation from Pres. Monson to pray that areas that have not yet allowed the Gospel into their borders will be opened, even that miracles will occur to make it possible? Have you prayed with your spouse? Have you prayed with your children?  Could they hear repetition or sincerity and love and reverence in your prayer, even the short ones for tiny ears and short attention spans?
  
• Have you paid an honest and complete tithing this month?  Last month?  In the last three months? Six? Year?  Where is your heart when you pay?  Is it joyful, bitter, content?  Do you look for ways to NOT pay tithing on perhaps more questionable areas of increase for you and/or your family?  Have you contributed to the other funds of the Church, paid a generous fast offering no matter your situation?  When was the last time you fasted? Do you remember what it was about? Did you receive instruction, peace, answers to questions in your fast, etc.? Are you teaching your children about tithing and fast offerings - through your own action/attitude and through identified/prepared moments specifically set aside TO teach them?
  
• Did you watch General Conference last month?  If you missed it, have you made up for the time you missed and began working to catch up on the messages/instruction/etc.?  How do you feel about General Conference?  Do you look forward to it each and every time it comes around?  Do you feel bothered by the time you have to take out of your schedule, looking for reasons to miss or skip one session or another?  Are you excited to receive further light and knowledge from the Lord's servants?  Do you use the time to give your children testimonies of a living prophet of God and apostles on the earth today?  Do you watch it to critique everything that is said, find faults you can pass off as mortal weaknesses in imperfect men?  Do you get a copy of the Conference Ensign and anxiously begin to study the messages given and apply them to your lives?  Did you make sure to include your children in Conference, find ways to point out things that apply to them/take moments to testify to them in word and action of the blessing of modern revelation?
  
• Do you attend the temple as often as you can?  Do you look for excuses to NOT make it one week or one month, etc.? Do you take time to prepare for your experience - mentally, physically, spiritually?  Do you pay close attention to and look for ways you can improve in applying the covenants you have made?  Do you sleep through every session, arrive late or just barely on time, and leave as soon as it's over?  Do you look forward to the meal before or after more than you do to the session itself?  What music are you listening and conversations are you engaging in as you drive to and home from the temple? Are you spending so much time trying to find something new that you are missing the value of applying the basic, "old," and obvious parts of the ceremonies? Have you followed Pres. Hinckley's invitation to double your temple attendance . . . . and re-applied it . . . . and re-applied it?  Do you think about the interview questions that qualify you to be there each time you attend and reassess your worthiness and how you can improve? Do you take your children to the temple and testify to them about the work done within its walls and the blessings that affect them personally?
  
• Do you worthily partake of and prepare for the blessing of partaking of the Sacrament each week?  Do you meditate each week on your covenants, on your personal repentance and salvation, and on your relationship with the Savior? If you have kids, is sacrament meeting something you are teaching them about?  Do you and your children practice reverence each Sunday?  Is your sabbath-day observance something that starts when you arrive late for your meetings and ends when you get home, eat dinner, and take your Sunday nap?  Do you arrive early, prepared to receive and feel and grow; to be sanctified and purified; to renew your covenants and rejuvenate?  When you are getting ready, are you thinking about what people will think about your hair, makeup, clothes, etc. - or that of your children, for that matter - instead of on the covenants you will be renewing, the service you will be rendering, etc.?
  

These are just a few of the things I have been thinking about these past few days.  This list and these questions are not exhaustive, nor are they meant to add even more unnecessary heartache and doubt and disappointment for those days when you are doing your best and still finish with a less than stellar performance.  I know that I have more improvements to make than things I feel confident and comfortable about. And I know I need to use those recognitions to build and improve and not to beat myself up and pull myself down because of them.

But this week's events/conversations have been a real wake-up call for me.  I have re-realized that there are some things you cannot afford to leave to chance.  There are some things you cannot afford to let slide without correction.  There are some things you have to MAKE happen every day, things you cannot afford to leave undone as you drift off to sleep.  I think myself as a sister missionary a few years ago would have a whole lot to say to the me staring at her in the mirror now.  And it's ironic that it has become more difficult to do some of these things as I have become a wife and mother, now when it's even more important that I do them because it isn't just ME that is depending on me to do them.  I am shaping the future of my children, the attitudes they will have, the opportunities they will have to feel and recognize the Spirit for the first time and subsequent times when they need to draw upon it the most.  And I am doing it in the moments they don't even know are happening right now.

". . . by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6