Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday was Dave and I's THIRD anniversary!  I seriously feel like we've been on a ride since day ONE.  And that we should have been married for like ten years instead of three -- I mean, in the last three years we have had three children, Dave graduated, we bought a condo, remodeled it from the ground up, bought a car, moved to California, went through sickness and surgery until I can't even talk about it anymore - the list is endless.  And all in JUST THREE YEARS?

And of all the amazing things I could talk about that we have experienced together, there is one thing that I learned on our date last night:

There is nowhere more calming, comforting, peaceful, secure, the list goes on and on - than in Dave's arms.  We sat on the sofa and watched a movie for the first time in months - MONTHS.  There weren't kids running around or dodging in between us or pushing one or the other of us away to have their own cuddle time with Mommy/Daddy.  There weren't fires to put out, messes to clean up, fights to stop, toys to return, time-outs to get through, temper tantrums, high-pitched squeals or cries or laughter or whatever.  There wasn't a welcome but draining dinner guest or game guest or other type of guest to keep our attention at least partially diverted from each other to focus on our visitors and play the role of host and hostess.  There was nothing but us and the movie (until Brianna got hungry, but even she fit very nicely into my little moment of bliss).

And with all my talk of dating before Brianna was born, we somehow forgot completely to date -- or perhaps just the fact that the number one ingredient in our dates is uninterrupted time spent together.

But I have to say that - well, starting at the very beginning is a very good place to start.  And this was the beginning of all future anniversary celebrations.  What a blessing!

'Tis the Season

It's been a hard last four months, but today I want to write about how watchful and mindful of us the Lord has been.

Remember when I was in Boise with sick kids, waiting for Dave to recover and trying to get home?  He got a call one afternoon that essentially told him that if he didn't drill by the end of that day, he was being discharged from the National Guard.  Which led to me getting a call from my husband that I better not take the kids to the doctor until future notice.  I called the insurance and verified that we did, in fact, lose all coverage effective the date of discharge.  And I cried.  A lot.  There were other unknowns and are other repercussions of his discharge that came with it, but nothing hit me as hard as losing health insurance.

A few weeks went by.  Dave called and left messages, trying to find out what was going on, when his discharge day was, if he had already been discharged, etc. And we never heard back.  Then Abby got sick.  So Dave went on base and got into his records and found out he hadn't been discharged yet.  So I took her to the doctor.  Then I got sick.  Then Isaac.  Each time, it was okay, we were still on, we could still go to the doctor.  Then one day a woman called and told Dave that his official discharge date was Dec. 20.  And she apologized left and right for the way it had all been handled and the lack of communication on their end.

That was great until Tuesday when Isaac and Abby were diagnosed with chronic ear infections -- meaning there is fluid on their ears that won't go away with antibiotics and has to be manually drained in an outpatient surgery when they put tubes in their ears.  We were referred to a doctor, she couldn't get us in until January.  We had planned on switching insurances in January, so we thought - "No big deal, we'll just wait until the new insurance kicks in and get it taken care of then."  Then Abby woke up crying this morning and told me, "Mommy, ear hurt, need go to doctor."

Great.  So we have two children with ear infections that won't respond to antibiotics, fluid that is building up and causing them extreme discomfort/intolerable pain, a doctor that can't see us until January, insurance that ends on Sunday.  I called the doctor back and said that I needed some help knowing what my options are and what I should do with these two toddlers.  She called back and told me to try another ENT Specialist.  So I called, and they can get me in tomorrow; however, THURSDAY (today) is the doctor's surgery day, so the soonest they could get operated on would be next Thursday, which is only if the hospital has room on the schedule to put in two more patients.  And, either way, we won't have insurance.  The nurse at the ENT specialist's office also told me the worst-case scenario is that the fluid will build until the ear drum breaks and the fluid comes out.  And the ear drum will generally heal itself, we would just probably need antibiotic drops to get the kids through it, which without insurance would cost us around $260 for the two kids.  Do-able.  Not favorable, but do-able.  She explained the protocol for taking care of the kids if the ear drums did break, bathing procedures, etc., and said that without surgery a broken ear drum could, in the long run, lead to hearing damage/loss.  I listened to it all and took notes on everything she said -- worried, relieved, etc. Though in my mind I was already crying at the thought of watching them go through that much pain for that long until the drum just broke on its own.  I went ahead and got them the appointment for tomorrow.

And then I did what any good parent would do and started to pray HARD.  I called and told Dave what had happened and asked him if could please try to get in touch with the Sergeant in charge of his discharge and see if, by some chance, the paperwork had fallen through the cracks again or they were waiting on someone to get back from vacation and it hadn't been signed or SOMETHING that might make it so we had insurance longer than the previously-established date of December 20.

And I called my mom who urged me to talk to Dave's work and see if, since he had involuntarily lost insurance coverage, there was a way to get on insurance prior to the date they had given him already.

I was about to go and look up a number to call when Dave called me and said, "Um - so I talked to Sgt. ???????, and we have coverage until December 31, at least, possibly longer than that.  She said she can't guarantee coverage past that, but she can guarantee we will have it until December 31."  I was speechless and got out something like, "How?  Why?"  And he said she was basically holding it for signatures through that date as a favor to us because of this situation and -- I think -- because she still felt bad about the lack of communication throughout all of this.

Or maybe you can scratch all of the above - or loop it all together - and just say that Heavenly Father needed me to know today that He is still aware of ME and is watching out for us because He knows we are doing all we can do.  And that is the story I am sure I can join with countless others this holiday season as many people see and feel the hand of the Lord and His miracles in their lives.

But you know what?  I don't think it's limited to this season.  I think this is just the time when we have eyes to see and ears to hear.  And I hope I can do better at seeing and hearing all the time to take note of and offer thanks for the miracles that happen in my life, and the lives of those I love, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Update 12/17: We went to the ENT Specialist this morning and have surgery scheduled for next Thursday, Dec. 23.  I am incredibly nervous as a mother - it is going to be so hard to see them go through all of the pre-op stuff and get put to sleep.  And I know they are going to seriously FREAK OUT!  I'm crying already at the thought.  BUT, I also know that this will be the end to a LOT of misery and pain and sleepless nights.  And for that, I am so thankful for modern medicine and that they don't have to get to the point of having so much fluid build up that their eardrums break on their own.  They'll be able to hear better and sleep better and not have Tylenol and Ibuprofen on the top of their best friends forever list.  After last night's tears and cries all night from Abigail, I think that would be even more miserable to watch.

When Daddy Comes Home

I don't know if I've ever written a post about this or not, because it somehow seems familiar to me.  Maybe I've just written it a few times in my head.

This is a tribute to David as Daddy in our home.  My children LOVE him.  They really, really love him.  And it's no wonder why - he's a pretty lovable guy.  But what has hit me lately is how much he is a PART of them.  There's the age-old debate about whether we are more of a consequence of nature or nurture.  And I don't know that it is an either/or answer.  But I definitely see and feel the nurture part of David in my children.

For example, it's prayer time.  The kids are ti-i-red, and so are we.  As we round up overnight diapers and pajamas and milk and scriptures, they sometimes get more and more rowdy by the second.  Pretty soon, they are running around the house, jumping on their beds, and - BAM - Abby tackles Isaac, screaming, "Tackle" and laughing as loud as she can.  Isaac reacts in one of two ways: He laughs OR he cries.  Not a real cry, but a cry that he thinks is going to get him attention, or at least annoy his sister who just literally PINNED him to the ground in a millisecond!  Abby's reaction to him laughing or crying is usually the same - tackle him again as fast as she can and let out yet another squeal of triumph!

She gets that from Daddy.

Or when Abby and Isaac are mutually playing tackle and loving it.  Suddenly, Isaac lifts Abby's shirt up and bites her on the stomach.  Initial reaction of most toddler mom's: Biting stage, explain biting is wrong, have some sort of punishment, and hope it sticks in.  Not so in our house.  That WAS my initial reaction until an image flashed before my eyes as I was moving to act on my impulse.  The image was one of Daddy coming home from work, tackling the kids, then scooping them up in his arms and pretending to eat them like corn on the cob, tickling their sides with his teeth in the process.

He learned that from Daddy. He's a little sketchy in the particulars, but the general idea was right there.

Or when you're sitting on the sofa, feeding a newborn or reading or typing or whatever.  Suddenly Abby comes up and starts to tickle you as hard and as fast as she can, yelling, "Tickle, tickle, tickle!"  Mostly it hurts, but the concept is there.  And she's laughing as if she were the one being tickled the whole time she's doing it.

She gets tickle wars from Daddy.

Or when we're sitting at the dinner table tonight and Abby, who asked me to help her eat her food, begins to chant, "Chuga tuga tuga tuga woo woo" as I go to put food in her mouth.  Then, just as I'm about to put the spoon into her mouth, she yells, "Stop!  No!  Horsey! Ee up Ee up Ee up -- (whinnies) Ee up Ee up Ee up -- (whinnies)."

She gets that mostly from Daddy.

Or when you go to put food in Isaac's mouth and he pretends to take a big bite and then chew it - over-emphasized chewing of the food that is still sitting on the spoon.  Yes, that also comes from Daddy when Daddy is trying to get them to eat and says, "Okay - Daddy take a bite, Isaac take a bite.  Ready, Daddy (insert fake bite and exaggerated chewing) - and now Isaac (typically insert real bite and chewing -- until recently when he figured it out)."  And he does it with that teasing, silently laughing twinkle in his eye.  He gets that one from Daddy as well.

My kids have the gift of laughter.  And they get a LOT of it from their Daddy!  He plays with them, teases them, wrestles with them. tackles them, tickles them, and loves, loves, loves them.  And seeing and feeling HIM in THEM always makes me smile . . . or laugh . . . (or cry when they get a little TOO into their rough and tumble play).  But always makes me so grateful that they have a daddy like him!

Prayer of the Children

Can you hear the prayer of the children on bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room? Empty eyes with no more tears to cry turning heavenward toward the light.
Last night the kids were so moody and wound up that we decided, after a lot of attempts to get them settled down, some yelling and spanking for them not listening, some time-outs, etc., etc., etc. - to split them up and have one-on-one prayer with them.  Isaac and David had banged heads a little more than he and I had, so I took a broken-hearted and overtired Isaac into his room to have prayer while Daddy got a hyper-active, bouncing off the walls Abby.

When we entered his room, he immediately knelt down on the floor.  I followed suit.  He climbed up on my lap for a minute, and I gave him a hug, and then he knelt down in front of me and said,

"Dear Heavenly Father - thank oo this day, please bless Isaac, no more spankins, in the name of Jesus Kist - Awmen."

It was all said very quietly, through a few leftover sobs.  I was speechless.  I didn't even say amen because I didn't know what to say.  His tired, tearful blue eyes looked up at me.  He climbed up on my lap and got another hug and then quickly knelt back down and said his normal prayer. 

During all of this, I hadn't said anything.  And I realized he probably noticed I didn't say amen and decided he hadn't said his prayer right and needed to say it again.  I softly said amen this time, not wanting to send the wrong message, and pulled him into a big hug and told him I had loved BOTH of his prayers and was very proud of him and that we had had a really hard night but we loved him very, VERY much. 

He got right into bed, and I went to find his cup of milk.  And paused en route to tell his daddy what he had just prayed.  Then Daddy took a minute to go in and talk to his tender-hearted little boy.  He left Isaac laughing, smiling, and Isaac returned David's "I love you" with "Yuv you" - which has become less common as an immediate response lately.

Can you hear the prayers of the children?  They're walking through the shadows of so many unknown rooms, trying to figure out what it's all about, what their boundaries are, what their voices are, what they can do and what it's okay to feel and when it's okay to just say now or no or enough or "I no want it" or stop or help or "please bless Isaac, no more spankins."

I was amazed and so thankful that my little two-year-old has already learned the concept of prayer and asking for what is in your heart.  Because I know from so many experiences that THAT is what will get him out of those shadows.  That THAT is what will put him in tune with the LIGHT that he will need in unknown rooms my crazy imagination hasn't even visualized.  And I know that he has just reminded ME of this fact because sometimes I forget.

And I know we make so many mistakes along the way with him - with both of them - with each other, even.  But I guess that's what walking through and kneeling in unknown shadows is all about - learning, gaining enlightenment, coming to know -- know our limitations, know our strengths; know our hearts, know our way, know when to crawl, when to walk, and when to stop and kneel; know how to rise and walk and apologize and laugh and love and sleep and wake and try again -- another day.

And all this speechless mommy can say to this whole experience is: Amen, Isaac!  Amen.

I Know the Feeling

My mother-in-law sent this to me, and I thought I would share.  Don't you just know the feeling? :-)

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let
him out..

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3.He's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Putting up the Christmas Tree

Tonight we decorated for Christmas.  It was SO MUCH FUN!!!  Abby and Isaac put all of our family ornaments on the tree, plus a few of the crocheted snowflakes from our wedding.  We recorded most of it, but it was fun to see how they both approached it so differently.  Abby wanted to get them on the tree and rush back to get another one as fast as she could.  And she wanted all the pretty ones (like - don't hand me that plain old crocheted snowflake, mom - I want the PITTY one!).  Isaac meticulously and methodically hung each one he received and then came back and asked calmly, "Nother one, please, Mommy - nother one, please."  And if he hung one that didn't hang "just right" - he took it back off and hung another one.  Towards the end, he had four or five snowflakes hanging on the same branch.  I guess he just really liked how they hung there!  I am hopeful that having them take control of decorating it will minimize their interest in touching and taking down and moving the ornaments later.  We'll see.

I also had some window stickers that I bought last year and we put those up on the glass door in the kitchen.  Again, it was really a fun distraction/perfect activity for two two-year-olds.

And isn't it amazing the difference a Christmas tree will make?  Even our small one that my mom thankfully loaned us from our wedding reception.  It's simple and has pre-hung lights attached to it, but it is perfect!  I am amazed that there is a completely different feeling in our home/living room whenever I look at it.

I also moved our kitchen island into the entry-way and put our nativity set on it on a cream table cloth.  And I FINALLY finished the advent calendar my sisters and I started making last year (more to come, including ideas for things to do with young children).  I'll have to post some pictures once we get it hung up.  But it looks SO AMAZING - and we made it ENTIRELY from scratch!!!

Incidentally, if you want to do an advent calendar but don't have a lot of time or money, my friend made one that I WISH WISH WISH I had seen last year, because it is about ten thousand times easier (and cheaper, even shopping sales with extra coupons and discounts) than the one I made!  Hahahahahahha!   Anyway, for a picture and tutorial, go here.

I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving.  We went to Dave's supervisor's house.  It was so wonderful!!!  They have five kids and their entire house is like a toy store -- except you can actually PLAY with ALL the toys!!!  Isaac didn't want to leave.  He cried and cried when we took him away.  I guess we'll have to drive to Rosamond to have play dates.  It would be great for all of us, I think!!!  I also met another girl with whom I really could relate and I think we could be really great friends!  If only they didn't live in Rosamond. :)

Oh, and if you attempted Black Friday sales, I hope you had as much fun/success as we did.  We have a tradition of buying the kids an ornament that represents something from that year (and we have a Christmas journal in which we write down what they got and why) and we also give them each a book and then one more gift.  Stockings are for oranges, nuts, and small pieces of candy (and Dave likes to do wool socks as well!).  This year, we found glass airplanes for like $2.50 a piece after all the sales and extra discounts.  NICE!!!  We bought one for every one of us to represent our first Christmas at Edwards.  I also bought some of the charity Dr. Seuss books at Kohls for my kids.  For only $5 a piece, it was a STEAL!!!  And with that, we're giving them some presents we bought last year for their third gift of Christmas (like the wise men's three gifts -- get it?) and our shopping is officially done!  I also got the rest of Dave's Christmas present, but I can't write about that yet.  Now to finish making Grandma and Grandpa gifts!

I love this time of year!!!

Christmas Around the World

I don't want to take away from my last post.  If you love Beauty and the Beast, you HAVE to read it.  But I am also really excited about our Ward Christmas Party this year and wanted to write about it.  I mulled over a lot of ideas!  And in the end, this one just felt RIGHT.  Dave found a free Christmas card on the web and used it to create our announcement.  Isn't it so amazing?  He did a great job!!!!  Without further adieu . . .

What I really wanted to do for this activity is focus on the strong testimony I have of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World, Emmanuel, the Beginning and the End, the Light and the Life of the World - and His incredible life that began with such a humble birth.  We have two accounts of His life and teachings, including His birth.  One in the Bible, another in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.  I wanted to remind our Ward members that we are so blessed to know that the Earth received her King, not only in Jerusalem where the bright star shone over the humble stable in Bethlehem but also in other parts of the world.  We have record, for example, of the sign of his birth in a town called Zarahemla on the American continent.  There wasn't a star, but there was a day and a night and a day without darkness.  The Light of the world had come, and that was the sign to believer and non-believer alike - a night bright as day.  It will be amazing someday to see what other signs the Lord used to communicate to His other children around the world at that time that Jesus Christ, of whom the prophets had testified and witnessed and prepared the world, had indeed been born on that day.  We now call it Christmas.  And it is celebrated all over the world, in different ways by different cultures.  And it has always been an international event, celebrated and announced in different ways but representing the same, unifying occasion: the birth of Christ.

So that was the focus for the theme.  Not just on the spiritual side of Christ being born but also on the secular side of Christmas and giving and all the joys and traditions, different though they may be, around the world.  I found the idea on the web, though I don't remember where, and we tweaked it a bit for our little area.  Here's the general outline, in case you are ever interested in doing this or something similar:

Date/Time: Friday, December 10 - 6:00 p.m.

Theme: Christmas Around the World

 

Dinner:

Tri-Tip Steak and Ham

Baked Potatoes and Baked Sweet Potatoes/Yams

Green Salad

Green Beans

Desserts

* We are going to pass around sign-up sheets on Sunday for people to bake the potatoes and bring desserts.

 

Decorations:

Christmas Trees in each of the Four Corners

Country-themed Table Decorations

Lights and Garland around the gym

* We are going to pass around sign-up sheets on Sunday for people to volunteer to do a centerpiece representing different countries.  

We'll fill in the gaps for the rest of the tables and serving tables

 

Program:

Ward Choir and youth will do their numbers from the Stake Nativity Night/Program.  Then there will be a few other special numbers.  As many as possible will include the music in different languages, performed by people who lived or served in other countries and members of the Ward of different nationalities.

 

MEANWHILE back at the ranch . . .

 

We'll do Christmas Around the World activities with the children.  

 

Activities/Countries will include:

Germany -- Graham Cracker houses and Gingerbread Cookies to decorate

England -- Christmas cards for missionaries and/or snowflakes

Japan -- Fans and Origami Swans

Mexico -- Shoes with candy and Paper Plate Morraccas

Phillipines -- TBA

After the children are done, we'll have them come out and sing the last song on the program and then have a ward sing-along of both traditional songs and hymns until Santa comes in.  Then we'll have him go to another room where the children will be invited to sit on his lap and have a picture taken.

 

Giving Tree

We are going to do a money giving tree, a fabric tree with buttons for hanging Christmas die-cuts with amounts written on them.  Then the Bishop will take the money and distribute it to needy families to provide food, pay bills, buy Christmas for their children, etc.

 

Publicity

Bulletin

Larger Poster for our spot in the hall

Fliers

* We're going to ask everyone to take one for themselves and one to give away to a friend.

Tale as Old as Time . . .

First of all, super cute moment.  I was expecting Abby to catch onto the whole breastfeeding thing.  And sure enough, she has become a little Mommy to her two babies.  One's name is Marie and the other is named Dollie (of course, right?).  Anyway, she hops into bed next to me or onto the sofa or wherever I am and feeds her babies every time I feed Brianna.  What I hadn't thought about was Isaac picking up on it.  But he has become quite the jealous little man!  He looks for opportunities to steal Abby's babies (which, of course, is like ripping her HEART out and stomping on it 1,000 times), and though sometimes he is trying to upset her for attention, sometimes I think he is just plain jealous.  And today, while I was feeding Brianna and Abby was feeding Dollie, Isaac snatched Marie out of Abby's other hand and lifted up his shirt and started to feed her.  As Abby told David tonight, "Isaac shirt baby feed stomach."  Isaac fed the baby on his stomach.  It was really pretty cute, I thought.

Second of all -- for all of you who absolutely positively think that Beauty and the Beast is one of THE BEST movies of ALL TIME . . . how would you like to own it on Blu-Ray for around $5.00?  That's right, folks.  But you have to act by tomorrow.  Here's how:

1) Go to Disney Movie Rewards and print off the $10 off coupon (if you aren't a member, just create an account - it's free!).

2) Go to Target's Printable Coupons and print off the $5 off coupon for a Disney Blu-Ray $16.99 or above.

3) Go to Campbell's Kitchen and print off the $5 off coupon there.

4) Go to Campbell's Kitchen and print off a coupon for the soup of your choice (one that fills the requirements in the $5 off coupon).

How does it all come together?
Blu-Ray Sale Price: $24.99 until tomorrow.
Less $10 Disney Coupon: $14.99
Less $5 Target Coupon: $9.99
Less $5 Campbell's Coupon: $4.99

The soup should cost around $1, maybe $2.  Add in taxes and a stamp, and you're looking at $5-$7.  Pretty slick deal, eh? Oh, and if you go to your local Wal-Mart and take the Target Coupon and Disney coupon, they should price match and accept them both, and their sale price on Beauty and the Beast is only $22.96 - which makes it that much cheaper, right?  And if you watch Albertsons ads, sometimes they have a double value coupon, so you would save $2 on three cans instead of $1 on three cans.  Which would probably make them free.  As long as everything happens in the next month or so, in time to mail in the rebates, it's totally legit!

Craft Time with Toddlers

A few months before Brianna was born, I was in like UBER organization and schedule mode.  I wanted to have EVERYTHING pulled together and perfect.  I started my quest for things to do with toddlers. 

Now I have to confess that I am NOT a good toddler mother.  Why?  Cuz I haven't gotten over my I-can't-deal-with-messes-and-my-fear-that-you-are-going-to-paint-on-the-walls-and-it-won't-come-off-and-we're-just-renting factor.  Particularly with my two. One I can keep an eye on and work through things with and even stop before things get too out of control.  HOWEVER, my two tend to gang up on me.  I don't know if it's intentional or not (I read online that two-year-olds engage in parallel play, so them ganging up on me would be incredibly out of character for a typical two-year-old; and I'm going to ignore the fact that they do it all the time and even got my two-year-old niece to engage and play off of their antics while we were visiting her; yes, I'm going to ignore all of that because the "experts" say that they aren't aware of each other and are only interested in parallel play right now).

Anyway, I read on my friend's blogs that they have art time with their kids, and creativity time.  And I am totally jealous of that and aspiring to be the BEST mommy with the BEST, most well-rounded kids out there.  So I naturally have to figure out how to do this with MY kids, in spite of my fear of destructive messes (or even messes that take longer to clean up after five seconds of effort on my children's part than I may have to clean them in an entire day).

There are a few books I got in my quest: First Art, The Playskool Toddlers Busy Play Book, and the Toddlers Busy Book.  I don't love the Playskool one, just FYI.  But the other two have great ideas, some more or less age appropriate (or maybe just this parent appropriate) than others.  But otherwise GREAT ideas. Particularly if you're trying to preschool your own children or do a preschool co-op with other moms.  I'm excited for those days!!!  Only two more years to go!!!

But to make a long story short, despite my best efforts, I really haven't done anything they suggested.  Life got crazy.  And even meal planning is NOT my forte right now, let alone activity time planning.

So between me being super mom and my current me, I did make a great purchase in the midst of all of this.  I bought a two-sided easel on sale at Michaels, one for each of course because when you have twins you HAVE to have one for each - particularly when they hit the mine stage.  It's called damage control, putting out fires before they start.  And this particular easel has a chalkboard side and a dry-erase side.  I found a 48-pack of Crayola colored chalk in the clearance aisle for $1.50.  And my awesome mom, who knew about my quest to be the PERFECT mom and have art time with my kids, got my children an art bag for their birthday.  In that bag, she included some washable dry-erase board crayons.  WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?!?!?!?!?  They MUST have had two-year-old twins at some point. 

I have gotten the chalk out quite a few times (what's easier to clean up than dust-it-off-and-go chalk?).  We've used that as our starting point for teaching them to ONLY write on the chalkboard.  Because THAT is where you color and draw with chalk.  It has gone pretty well.  We've had some short art times (because repeated drawing on other things - like walls and doors and your sister and skin - meant we had to stop for that day and try again to learn to listen and obey and JUST write on the chalkboard).  And we've had some long art times.  Mostly with Abby.  Isaac seems to get bored with it - probably because it's too structured for him to JUST draw on the chalkboard?  I don't know.  But Abby LOVES to color!!!

And today I looked at my bored little man and got brave and pulled out the crayons.  Abby LOVED them!!!  I like them better than the chalk because the colors are more vibrant, so when we're working on identifying colors, there is more contrast and they can see the differences better.  They don't come off of our dry-erase board very easily, meaning with lots of elbow grease and almost as long to clean it completely off as it took the kids to fill it up with color.  But that's minimal, as long as they stick with the dry-erase board!  Overall, though, I'm a fan!

And our easels have a clip with them, for clipping things on the easel.  So my next venture, once we master listening and obeying with crayons, is to pull out the finger paint, spread some newspaper on the floor, clip on some paper, and let them go!  But I think that will have to wait a while, not gonna lie!

Still Here?

Yes, we're still here.  But we're not still there . . . in Boise, I mean.  We have been home now for officially one week and a few hours.  And I JUST got my clothes put away from the trip.  Yep.  Awesome.

There are a few cute things I've been wanting to put on here all week.  But I haven't had time.  And now I can't remember them.  So they'll have to wait.  But I thought this super cute picture of Brianna couldn't wait, even though Dave said I should wait to post pics until we have some of Abby as well.  So it's just a sneak peak, I guess.  TTFN!!!

Oh I can't get enough of her!

Almost . . .

Tonight we were driving home, dinner (at 8:00 at night) in the front seat with my mom as I drove.  Here's the conversation:

Abby: Mommy - I hungee.
Me: I know, honey, but we're almost . . . we're getting closer, okay; so please just sit tight until we get there and then we can eat.  Okay?
Abby: (reluctant whine) Okay.

Isaac: Mommy, dink of water, please. Dink of water, please Mommy.
Abby: Almost, Isaac.  Almost.  Isaac?  Almost, okay Isaac.  Almost house, Isaac, okay?

Me: (smile at my sweet girl taking care of her brother and the fact that Isaac asked so politely)

Brianna starts crying uncontrollably.  I reach over the back seat and put my finger in her mouth cuz I cannot reach/find her paci (yes, I'm driving  -- you do what you gotta do sometimes).

Me: Brianna -- it's okay, honey.  We're almost there.  Brianna, honey.  Calm down, it's okay.
(crying continues - light turns green - I focus on the road)
Abby: Honey - okay, Nanna.  Okay.  Almost house, Nanna.  Honey - Nanna - okay, Nanna.

They hear everything, don't they?  Sometimes, that's a really good thing. :-)

I need . . .

A vacation . . .

"Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer."


- Lion from Wizard of Oz

Since my last post, we found out Dave had mono, found out the twins didn't respond to medicine and had to have heavier antibiotics, found out Abby had scarletina during a quick ER stop in a random town on our way to my mom's, found out Abby was allergic to the second round of antibiotics they gave her, and have been in Boise for about three weeks now (one and a half to go - but who's counting?).  And Dave found out yesterday at lunchtime that he's being discharged from the National Guard (yesterday) and we found out that we no longer have health insurance, effective the day of his discharge. 

So now I'm praying Abby doesn't have another ear infection and that no one gets sick until we can get health insurance through Dave's work figured out and to kick in.  And I'm praying that the new insurance doesn't go from January to December, cuz that means we will have just met our first deductible for the other insurance and have to meet it again between now and December for the new insurance and then start all over yet again in January.  But that's trivial, right?  And I'm hoping that we have dental insurance options we can afford to get through all the dental work that Dave hasn't been able to get done yet because he's been sick and our dental insurance is also . . . over and out.

And after one more day of crying, I officially need a vacation.

And the upside of all of this is that they didn't decide to discharge Dave until AFTER Brianna was born and our last month of health chaos (I'm keeping my word choice g-rated on that one ;-D) and over 12 doctor's visits in a month.  And the other upside is that Dave has a job where we can GET health insurance. 

So we're still VERY blessed and officially have NOT hit rock bottom. 

As I laid in bed last night, feeding Brianna and trying again to not cry and to let myself feel peace about all of this, I was thankful that I have my children, that there hasn't been a death in the family, that they keep me happy and make me crazy and make me laugh and sometimes swear (like when Isaac fed my grandma's hearing aids to the dog last week -- yeah, that was NOT a good day!!!) and give me reasons to be thankful and to try hard to learn who they are and what they need and what they are capable of that they need me to help them tap into.  I'm thankful that we all have life and (for now, for the most part) health and family and income and the atonement and opportunities to rise each time we fall (even in things like this).

And that's all I've got --- unless, of course, you want to give me a vacation for Christmas? :-)

Improve the Shining Moments

Abby woke up at midnight, screaming and crying like she was in immense pain.  I watched her, trying to figure out what was going on as she writhed around from the left to the right, onto her stomach, onto her back.  Then I noticed that she was bending her leg back and forth and holding it and letting it go every time she moved into a new position.  I grabbed some Pain-a-Trate to put on it and explained I was going to put some medicine on her leg to help it feel better.  She started to SCREAM and cry like, "No - don't touch my leg, Mommy!  Don't touch my leg!"  I finally held it down and got the cream on, and then she realized that it was helping and it was okay.  But she kept crying.  I asked if she needed some more medicine and she said yeah through her sobs.  Then I went to get some ice and she screamed at me for leaving.  I finally picked her up and carried her in to lay with Grandma while I looked at her leg in the light to see how bad it was. 

She had a pretty intense bruise -- I'm pretty sure she got her leg wedged between two spokes in her toddler bed.  And we got her settled down fairly quickly with some ice on her leg and some tylenol.  But she still wanted Mommy to go and lay her down in her bed; she didn't want to lay on the sofa and cuddle with Grandma.

I laid her down and sang her some songs.  When I sang "I Love to See the Temple" to her, her eyes lit up, litterally sparkled, and she began to sing along with me.  And, dear friends, I truly cannot capture in words the magic of that moment.  It was like we connected, spirit to spirit.  And with all of the ups and downs and ins and outs and changes and adjustments that have happened in the last six months, it was a moment I realized I used to have quite often and have since really missed.  Abby and I were so close that I was sad to find I was having another little girl instead of a boy because Abby was my little girl.  And I have felt a distancing from my independent toddler who wants to do everything herself and seldom accepts or acknowledges a need for Mommy's help.  In fact, when I try to help her, she usually pitches a fit and pushes me away. 

And in that moment in her room, her eyes lit up and our spirits speaking to each other, she was my little Abby girl and I was her Mommy.  And I cried.  I told her to close her eyes and go to sleep, and she immediately complied.  And I knelt there beside her and held her little hand and tried through choked-up tears to hum the temple song to her one more time.  Mostly because I wasn't ready to let that moment go.

Carpe diem, my friends!  Seize the day!  Improve the shining moments - don't let them pass you by!

I was thinking as I drifted off to sleep about the fact that there are only three months left to the year.  And I thought of a few things I can do, a few goals in small doses that I could accomplish, between now and then to finish this year with a BANG!!!  Because of my Mommy 15 blog, I usually think of things in doses of 15 -- like 15 minutes or 15 days or whatever.  And I determined that I need to find a way to have 15 minutes each day of quality, one-on-one, spirit connecting with spirit time with each of my children.  I need to take control and MAKE that a reality in our lives.  And I think they need me to do that as well.  And 15 minutes isn't much, right?  Espeically if I can get Dave in on it and set aside thirty minutes when we each take 15 minutes with each child to celebrate and relax and connect with them without the daily grind struggles and power struggles and messes and stress that sometime cut into our ability to see and feel each other.

Improve the shining moments!  Don't let them pass you by!

Dark Clouds with Silver Linings

I realize that my blog update a few days ago was a bit negative.  I would apologize, but I'm kind of coming to realize that bad days or bad seasons are what they are.  They are part of this life experience that make it what it is.  And though there are silver linings to dark clouds, the silver wouldn't shine through without the contrast of the darkness of the cloud.  Sometimes you can be depressed without being clinical and you can have a bad day without being cynical. ;-D

That said, throughout all of this, I was constantly reminded to see the positive by my dear husband.  He's amazing at always seeing the positive.  Even as he has been in bed, taking every drug possible, completely exhausted, locked away from the kids, and totally out of the first week of Brianna's life and all the tiny little moments that I am so blessed to experience, he still says, "In all honesty, Melinda, this week hasn't been that bad.  I've been able to keep going to work, we have an extra room where I can go to stay away from the baby and the twins, and your mom is here to help fill in the gaps.  So really, we've been blessed!"

And we have.  So here are some silver linings I've noticed and sought to see along the way (and by silver linings I mean Heavenly Father's hand and tender mercies gifted directly to us in packages of all shapes and sizes):

1) If Dave's fever hadn't broken the first time, he wouldn't have been there for Brianna's birth.  Which might not have been a bad thing, you might say, since it would have kept her from being exposed to whatever he has.  HOWEVER, that's another silver lining because I am sure Heavenly Father surrounded her with angels to protect her from this mystery flu and allow him to at least be there for her birth and the first hours of her life.

2) If the hospital stay had been more pleasant and Abby hadn't broken out from the allergic reactions to her medicine, my husband would not have taken her to Quick Care that night and have put off yet again going to the doctor to get help for his symptoms because -- let's face it -- who wants to go and sit for hours and hours at "Quick Care" after one long day at work and before another?  NO ONE!  So thankfully, I was inspired to get out of there; Abby was broken out and needed someone to take her in; and Dave had no way to avoid getting to the doctor.  Sure, it was inconclusive, but it was also a starting point.

3) If Brianna hadn't been jaundicey, I wouldn't have had a quick follow-up the next day and wouldn't have talked to the doctor who told me there was no way Dave had strep throat while on antibiotics.  And now that doctor is overseeing and ordering all of the other tests to try and find out what Dave DOES have.

4) If Abby hadn't had a SECOND allergic reaction to the benedryl for her FIRST allergic reaction, we wouldn't have been in to see the doctor and wouldn't have found her double ear infection or strep throat.  Then we wouldn't have gotten Isaac in there to be diagnosed either.  AND, to top off those tender mercies, the doctor was good enough to give my mom sample antibiotics to get her through all of this because she has medical conditions that would have made it REALLY bad for her to have gotten the strep throat (like hospitalization bad).  And with Idaho Medicare as her primary insurance, she couldn't see or be treated by a doctor in California.  She can only go in Idaho.  So it was an amazing blessing that she was able to get the medicine she needed to avoid and/or work through all of this crazy sickness stuff that was hitting the kids.  AND . . .

5) My mom having antibiotics made it possible for her to take care of the kids worry-free while I kept my little Brianna away from them until they had been on medicine long enough to not be contagious anymore.  Had she not been "treated" and/or had she gotten the strep infection, I would have had to find a way to keep Brianna at a distance while taking care of FOUR sickleys.

6) Brianna has been the best, best, best baby EVER!!!  Yes, she has the cold.  And no, it's never fun for a newborn to have to deal with all that cruddy flu stuff when they're still trying to figure out this mortal body of theirs and how it feels and works and what not.  HOWEVER, she didn't get all the symptoms.  She's been protected (from breastfeeding or angels or a combination of both) to not get anything else that's flying around in this house.  And she has handled it really, really well.

7) My delivery could not have gone smoother.  Events and circumstances surrounding the delivery definitely could have.  But the delivery itself was everything I had been praying for for the entire pregnancy.  I had very little internal tearing; once she came, she just came; I didn't have to have a c-section or anything else; and even the post-pregnancy pain has been very bearable in comparison to what I experienced last time and could have experienced this time.  The only thing I feel I have to watch is doing too much -- picking up the twins or whatever.  And that is SUCH a HUGE blessing!!!

8) Modern medicine!!!  I mean, they have the initial strep test and the lab where they send the swab away to make sure they diagnosed it correctly.  They can draw your blood and run tests for any number of diseases and have answers within hours or a few days.  Truly a blessing!

9) Abby and Isaac!!!  I was worried about them waking up and not being around.  But I went into the hospital after we put them to bed and we had a baby about an hour before they woke up, so they were able to come and spend the first hour of her life with us in the hospital!!!  The timing could not have been more perfect!!!  And they have love love loved her!  Tonight as we drove back from a small road trip to look at potential places to live, Abby held Brianna's hand for the entire last leg of the trip and sat back there saying, "Shhhhh, baby -- it's okay!"  And Isaac is the first to run and tell me if she's crying and always says, "What wrong Anna?  Why cwying, Anna?  You hungee?  Huh?"  They have had a hard road with a new baby, Mommy being locked up in the bedroom with her so many hours of the day, Daddy being locked up in the office so much they forget he's around, etc.  But they have done really, really well with it all.  They are such a blessing to each other and to this new little baby -- not to mention to me!!!

10) My mom, my mom, my mom!  I can't say enough thanks for all she has done and the way things lined up for her to be here through all of this!  It hasn't been the tranisition time she or I had planned on, but it has been so nice to not be alone through all of it, to be able to rest and to take care of Brianna without worrying about the twins.  It's been nice to not be alone and to have someone to talk to and laugh with and even eat all that junk I'm not supposed to be eating right now with.  She has been an angel, a true Godsend!!! 

11) You know how they say that you don't appreciate something until you've lost it.  I love love love and appreciate David so much!!!  I miss being with him, laughing with him, talking with him, having him hold me while we make dinner and the kids run around or wrestling with the kids to see who gets to sit next to him right after he's come home from work.  I miss holding hands when we pray or laying my head on his shoulder while we read scriptures at night.  I miss him having energy to do things and being able to talk to him without him being so exhausted that it's never a good time.  I miss watching movies with him at night because he's always too tired to stay awake through them, even on the weekends.  Just so many things that have been gone for so long but have REALLY been completely gone this last week. 

12) The sun before the storm.  In the Triage, I was doing "labor lunges" - I got them from one of my workout videos.  He thought it was HILARIOUS and took a picture of his "hard core wife."  And we had so much fun playing Quiddler and talking and laughing and arguing about whether or not I was going to get the epidural.  And I'm thankful for those small moments before everything else hit.  And I'm looking forward to having them again VERY SOON!!!!

13) My sister Monique.  She has held the fort taking care of my 94-year-old grandma, two five-year-old cousins that don't always see eye to eye, a buddingly independent two-year-old, and a 10-month-old baby.  NEED I SAY MORE about what a HUGE blessing it has been for her to take on such a HUGE load to allow my mom to be with me. 

It's late!  That's all I can think of/remember tonight!  But if I think of something else, I'll add it to the list!

And doesn't that gray cloud look so much prettier somehow with all of that beautiful silver surrounding it?  I sure think so! ;-D

P.S.

P.S. -- I am going to write a silver lining post tomorrow to highlight all of the tender mercies I've noticed/searched for in all that has happened the last month.  But for tonight, I just want to add that in the midst of all of this, Abby has decided she is ready to be done with diapers.  As in I literally have been taping her diapers on her with duct tape to keep her from taking them off whenever she pees or poops in them because I just can't handle it and the already few accidents she has had in the process.  *sigh*  Any potty training resources or ideas for fast and painless that you want to pass on would be MUCH appreciated.

In the meantime, Isaac went to sleep without his pacifier tonight.  *peaceful smile*

And Brianna hasn't learned yet that at one week old, she isn't supposed to be able to roll over onto her side or her stomach.  Which, after finding her face down last night and freaking OUT, I have decided to tell her she is way too young to do things like this.

And I have decided that breastfeeding is God's gift to mothers.  How else do you get to have a few precious moments of undisturbed closeness to your newborn to figure them out in the most personal, intimate way?  Even if toddlers and life distract you throughout the day, there are those silent, fleeting moments in the middle of the night when you get to look into their inquiring eyes, hold their little hands in yours, and have mommy/daughter popcorn and hot chocolate talks that will never go beyond the two of you and leave strong, deep impressions of love and safety for them.  It is precious and tender indeed.  Such a blessing!!!

More about Bri, Bria, Brynn, Beanie, Beaners . . .

This is for you, Shawna.  I hope it isn't too boring and a complete disappointment.

So, many of you remember my petition for baby girl name ideas.  And I have to say that this was some poetic justice that it was hard for me to choose a name because my sister always has a hard time choosing a name with HER impossible husband who likes every name she doesn't and doesn't like every name she loves.  And I never understood how HARD it can be to be in that choosing a name game situation with a man who likes names like Ursula -- or Dagney in my case.  So it serves me right for all the times I pestered her about why she hadn't just chosen a name already and when they were going to choose one.

And silver lining around the dark cloud that was my last post includes me seeing a tender mercy in the birth certificate lady CONTINUALLY hounding us for a name and even bringing us a book of 40,001 names.  Thank goodness for that last one, or maybe Brianna would still be nameless! ;-D

Anyway - here's the brief story of how Brianna came to be called -- well, I'm still not exactly sure what she will be called, but at least she will forever be NAMED Brianna.

I had the hardest time getting Dave to sit down and look at and choose a name -- any name -- an option, a starting point, an inkling of interest.  The one time he did, he came across Dagney when he got to the D's and pretty much closed the computer and spent the next . . . forever . . . talking about how it was the PERFECT name.  And he never did sit down at another list after that.

So, after explaining to him EVERY SINGLE TIME that Dagney was NOT a name for a little girl, I finally got him to talk about names as we drove down to pick my mom up at the airport (and don't think I didn't subtley suggest every ONE of your suggestions without getting the LEAST degree of interest or reciprocity from him on ANY of them -- thanks anyway).

On that trip, Dave decided that he really liked Naomi Grace - and we would call her Gracie.  Now, I actually liked that name.  That was actually okay with me EXCEPT for the fact that it didn't really have a good namesake, not one that would produce a book for our namesake library for this little girl.  I mean, Naomi was a wonderful woman, exemplary really.  But there aren't many books devoted just to her or much about her.  I guess I could have been the first to write one . . . but, you get the idea.  So pretty much that name stayed at the top right up to the end.  But I'm jumping the gun here.

Other names that Dave liked included Samantha and Natalie -- he REALLY liked Natalie for some reason.  And I had always thought that I would like those names.  But then I started thinking about calling my little girl Sam or Sami or Nat or Natty and -- I just couldn't do it.  Those names are so masculine.  It just didn't jive with me.

When Dave left me at the hospital with the charge to choose a first name from Naomi, Natalie, and Samantha and a middle name from Jane and Grace, I have to say that I looked at my little girl and tried every name on her and all of the nicknames as well.  And to me, she was a Gracie through and through.  Not just because the name seemed to fit her little pixie face and cute red hair but because of the meaning of the word Grace and all that implies and all this pregnancy meant for me personally and all that has happened since she was born.  Gracie was just HER.  And I was leaning more and more towards the Naomi Grace idea with the given that I would just have to write a book about Naomi from the Bible for my little namesake.

But just as I was about to say, "Final answer," I remembered that Dave's sister is due in November and told me they were naming their little girl Katherine Grace.  And since she told me that months ago, she kind of has dibs on the name.  And I wasn't sure if she was planning on calling her Grace or Katherine and didn't want to step on toes (of all of his sisters, she is the MOST sensitive and would be perhaps the only one to actually take offense at something like that).  So, rather than play ignorant I did what any good sister-in-law would do and called to ask what they were planning on calling their little girl.  I got her husband, who told me that they were naming her Grace Katherine so - duh - they would be calling her Grace.  Okay - sorry - my bad.  Scratch Gracie.

And that left me with nothing, and a bit heartbroken I will admit.  I could also really see her as an Emma, my favorite name from the onset.  But Dave's heart had not left his opposition to that name, even when he said, "Go ahead."  And she's his daughter, too, after all.

So when Dave came back to find that I was on my way home, and I explained that Grace was out and Naomi Jane just didn't feel right because I didn't want to call her Jane and couldn't see myself calling her Naomi or any sort of nickname combination of the two, we went to "the book."

We started looking at all of the lists.  Ironically, the list of names for strong women had almost ALL of my favorites on it, all of which he had already vetoed.  So we turned to other lists.  And he read off some names that he liked, none of which seemed very special or appropriate to me.  And after he read quite a few names from one list, I asked him to read the entire list.  After all, it had caught his attention on more than one name already, so it might just be a winner.

Brianna was on that list.  When he told me it meant strong, virtuous woman and I looked online and found that it also means one who ascends, I liked it.  When I thought about nicknames like Bri, Bria, and Brynn, all feminine and cute names for what would be a strong name when she got older and didn't want the nicknames any more, I decided I could handle that.  And it went perfectly with Jane.  When Dave said he could handle it as well, it stuck.  And Birth Certificate lady got there just in time for my discharge from the hospital.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about this name -- still, a week later, I'm not sure that I love love love it.  But I've learned that with all of my efforts to choose a strong namesake from a strong, noble woman who has shaped the past, I have also given a name to a person who will define how that name is seen in the future by what she does with her life.  And since it means virtuous and strong and ascension in a time when virtuous women are scarce and strong women are anything but in my mind -- and a time when women will NEED to ascend in ways they have never had to before . . . well, I think it's perfect!  And I'm excited to see what she does with her name and what namesake she leaves for future generations.

Everything you didn't want to know about my life . . .

First of all, welcome to Brianna Jane -- 7 lbs. 4 oz, 20 1/2 inches long, born at 6:26 a.m. on Sept. 29 after way too many hours of labor, particularly in this hospital (oh to be divinely blessed to have a baby at Gritman again!!!! *sigh*).  And she is an angel, a jewel, the most chillax baby ever, and keeper of the newly-grown segment of mommy's heart.  We love love LOVE her and cannot imagine life without her, even though I am still self-confessing to have a hard time imagining life WITH her.  It's going to be a CRAZY, crazy ride!!!  I really hope the chillax-ed-ness stays, cuz with her older brother and sister, I'm going to need it!  Heck, we're ALL going to need the balance!!!

Second of all, I feel like life the past week has been a living hell.  Yes, I just wrote that "out loud" and even used "that word."  And both after describing our new little angel as an angel and totally chillax and the BEST BABY EVER!!!  Let me expound.

About 10 days before Brianna was born, Abby started screaming in the supermarket -- the kind of scream that isn't a two-year-old tantrum and that no mother could ever ignore.  And it didn't stop.  For hours.  After a way-too-long wait at "Quick Care" (like three hours), all with a screaming-in-pain toddler and me nine and a half plus months pregnant, carrying her up and down the hall with a diaper bag full of toys and books to keep her happy during our wait (none of which ever left my bag or distracted her from her obvious pain), we learned she had a double ear infection.  Awesome.  Got the prescription, got the drugs, headed home for another sleepless night of crying and trying home remedies to calm her down and almost setting the house on fire (pretty sure I already wrote about all of this somewhere).  Thought that was the end of another ear infection story.

Fast forward a few days -- Sunday.  We were in the mother's lounge, just trying to get through with the twins, when I got distracted by another new mommy in the ward. I'm still trying to make all the friends I can and find my niche.  And it was great fun until . . . Abby started screaming in pain!!!  Isaac had got her fingers caught on the inside of the shower stall door.  Look away for two seconds . . . . The nursery leader brought her to me an hour or so later and told me she was pretty sure Abby had dislocated her finger because she wasn't using it, it was swolen to her knuckles, and she cried whenver anyone touched it.  Awesome.  Back to Quick Care.  Good news: Same doctor as diagnosed her ear infection; Isaac didn't have one, Abby's was almost all cleared up; the finger was fine!!!  Home again, home again, jiggidy-jig.  To Daddy who was home sick from church.

About five days before Brianna was born, Dave started with cold chills and a fever.  I can't remember if he missed work this time around or not.  It all blends together already.  But needless to say, I was wondering if I was going to have a baby by myself while my husband nursed a fever and my mom watched two crazy toddlers.  And it wasn't looking too promising.  Then two days before, he said the fevers had stopped; he was fine.  We could have her anytime.  Perfect.  Thought that was the end of another Dave-fevers-aches-exhaustion-missing-work-or-church story.

Brianna was born!  It wasn't as relaxing as Gritman had made having a baby.  It wasn't ideal in any sense of the word.  There was no mommy-daddy-new-family-bonding or rest and relaxation while the nurses watched the baby for the first 48 hours and treated the new couple to one last meal all their own by candlelight.  Nope - cuz this hospital leaves the baby with you all the time and doesn't do anything special like that.  But that's another story.  SO -- as Dave and I are trying desperately to get some sleep, keep up with a nameless baby Jane, document every feeding, how long, which side, what kind of diaper came from it, at what time, blah, blah, blah.  And while the nurses kept coming in (or sending someone in) every hour to check on me and keep up with their regulations to incessantly come in and wake me up just to be able to write down how I was sleeping and doing and feeling.  And while the birth certificate lady kept calling us to find out what we were naming our little girl and if we needed a book of names and "I'll bring one right up" and then keep calling you until you make a decision.  And while the breastfeeding expert finished her entire schpeal even as I was struggling more to keep my eyes open than you would in the most boring lecture EVER after only a few hours of sleep in the preceding 72 hours.  And while the wall let out a high-pitched squeal every time someone next door turned on the water in either sink or flushed the toilet or anything.  And while you thought someone else was coming in every time anyone opened a door on either side of your room because it shook and banged your door EVERY SINGLE TIME . . . .

While all of this and more was going on, Dave started getting a sore throat (again) and a horribly throbbing headache.  And kept trying to get some sleep on the makeshift bed in my room.  About noon-ish, after no sleep for two days, he decided to run home and shower and change and steal a quick nap before coming back to get through one more night in the hospital. (Baby Jane was jaundicey and not eating and producing like they thought she should, so they wouldn't really let us go home -- or so we thought at the time).  And he left me with the strict instructions that I was to have a name chosen by the time he got back (I had Samantha, Natalie, and Naomi for approved first names and his stamp of approval on Jane and Grace for middle names -- so I got to draw the lucky combination from a hat and make a decision before he got back -- lucky me!  you can see how well THAT went!).

Meanwhile, back at the Motel-6-disguised-as-the-Palace, I decided I had HAD it with this hospital, staff, hourly visits to make sure I was sleeping and that Baby Jane was peeing and pooping on schedule while I was getting my rest, etc.  So I told them I wanted to go home NOW.  Dave didn't get the memo until later, but I really didn't care anymore.  I vented to one nurse who told the Charge nurse who called the pediatrician and OB.  Dave came back a few hours later, having spent some one-on-one time playing with the twins instead of napping, and we got back to the business of choosing a name so they would let us leave with our "Baby Jane."

Oh, but I forgot to mention that just after Dave got back, he told me he'd had a horrible cough hit and should get a mask from the nurse's station.  Which he did.  And while he was doing that, my mom called and asked me if Dave had mentioned that Abby was broken out all over her body with 1/4" hives and that she was struggling to breathe so much that mom was really worried about her.  No.  He didn't mention either of those things.  Huh.  I pointd mom towards the inhaler on Abby's dresser, was informed by Dave that her hives weren't "that bad" and to not worry too much.  And the birth certificate lady called.  And we were back to choosing a name.

We finally did choose.  And got home.  And Abby's "no big deal" hives were getting worse.  As was Dave's cough.  So we sent Dave and Abby to "Quick Care" and got Isaac in bed and started to settle new baby Brianna Jane into her new home.  And we waited.  And I started to worry about how late it was and how tired Dave was and how early his morning and long his day at work were going to be.  And we waited.  And I called Quick Care and was told they couldn't give me any information -- which I insisted was garbage and pressed further until she told me they must be back with the doctor because she didn't see them in the waiting room.  And we waited.  And four hours later, they came home and announced:

"Abby doesn't have chicken pox but is deathly allergic to amoxicillin -- like the last dose you skipped when she was having a hard time breathing could have cut her off entirely. I, on the other hand, have an upper-respiratory infection, a double ear infection, and strep throat."

Gasp. sigh. cry. stare in disbelief and amazement. escort new baby to bedroom to never leave again.

I couldn't believe it!  It was horrible!  And he's been there from birth to Quick Care visit.  He even cut her umbilical chord.  Totally exposed.  Wow.

But at least Abby got some benedryl and a prescrpition for the next few days and was going to be okay.  Or so we thought.

Dave locked himself in the office (where he still sits today, sometimes lays, on his ever-so-comfie cot), my mom and I started spraying and disinfecting everything in sight, and we restlessly went to bed.

We got Abby's medicine a little late the next day.  So imagine our amazement when a few hours later, she was totally and completely . . . . no, not healed, BROKEN OUT AGAIN!!!  This time the hives were so close on her arms that they were just large lumps.  And on her hands and ears and feet and legs.  And she was pale and swollen all over . . . and an absolute bear!!!  What. the. heck.  With General Conference playing on the internet in the background, I called the Pediatric Allergist and got a prescription of . . . some really powerful medicine.  And we were instructed to bring her in on Monday.

Monday I got Dave in to see a doctor because when I took Brianna in for a jaundice check and me in for a whooping cough vaccine and strep throat check, the doctor told us that it was almost medically impossible for Dave to have strep while on antibiotics for his tooth extraction a week or so before.  So I talked to my friend Emily and my mom and decided he had mono.  But when he went to Quick Care Sunday night, they told him they wouldn't test him for mono because his joints didn't ache.  So I got him in to see the doctor Monday after work.  And they tested him for strep.  And were blown away that the test was positive.  And wouldn't test him for mono but told him to finish out his second, double-strength prescirption of amoxicillin and come back if things didn't improve.  Pins and needles all week long, much hand-washing, hand sanitizer everywhere, etc.

Tuesday we took Abby to the doctor - and her allergy was cleared up.  But her double ear infection was not.  And she had either Fifth Disease or . . . well, he tested her for strep.  Good news! She had strep!  No need to go back for a nasty blood draw that afternoon.  Nope. Isaac and I just got to go back for a strep test that afternoon.  And Isaac tested positive.  One shot in Abby's leg and two prescriptions later, we thought we were finally over the hump!

Until Dave went to the doctor today because he has only gotten worse.  And was told that the long test had come back negative for strep.  So he has a virus.  And they drew blood to test for mono.

But what the heck?  How do Abby and Isaac have strep when Dave has mono . . . .

Or do they all have something else entirely?

Here we sit like birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness.  Here we sit like birds in the wilderness . . . waiting for our food.

Oh, and Abby got some cold virus in all her office visits.  Which, in spite of all of my best efforts and keeping Brianna behind locked doors almost 24/7, not even touching her in the same clothes I had been wearing outside of my bedroom -- Brianna now has.

And my mom flies home on Wednesday.  And I'm praying we have this all figured out/straightened out by then.  Praying . . . praying . . . praying . . . praying.  Please join me!!!!

Who would have ever thought that bringing home a new baby would be the LEAST stressful part of my week?

Like I said, she's an angel . . . an absolute gem!!!

Just DANCE -- Cuz EVERYTHING in life is SO GOOD!!!

So we're driving down the freeway on our way to meet Daddy for a picnic lunch under the B-52. (A new Friday tradition in our house that my kids just LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! And how many people can say they have picnics under a B-52? Granted, it's a retired B-52 in an outside museum, but it's still a B-52 with a stone picnic table under it's wing to provide shade from the desert sun, and THAT is just SO COOL -- ask my kids!  They BEG me to take them to see Daddy and the airplanes every time we talk about airplanes or that Daddy's at work! :-D)

Anyway -- redirect to freeway drive, center stage:

We're racing down the freeway, me in my sunglasses and pale yellow shirt, the kids in their favorite shirts and summer-time short shorts.  Our hair was being blown by the air conditioner, but we can pretend there was some windows-down coolness happening in our scenario as well! ;-D  I have one of my favorite CDs in the CD player (thank you, Emily) and come across one of my favorite songs, which is PERFECT for my life/mood lately.


And almost as soon as it comes on, Abby and Isaac BOTH start singing, "Bailar!" I look in the rear-view mirror to see them dancing away. And when it's over, they say, "Again?!?!?!!?" So I comply. Over and over again. Me just as happy as they are each and every time.

Sorry if you don't know Spanish, but here's the gist of the lyrics (my translation): Just DANCE, when everything is falling apart and you want to be somewhere else but just can't get there! Just DANCE, when everything is the same old same old and you're looking for a reason but just can't find one. Just DANCE when everything is looking down and you WANT to be better but just can't make it happen. Just DANCE when nothing really excites you more than anything else, and you just don't like what you see reflecting in the mirror! JUST DANCE . . . . You get the idea, right?

Here's the song's link.(Even if you don't speak Spanish, it's worth listening to -- you'll be up and "dancing" in no time! TRUST me!!!) And I HAVE, HAVE, HAVE to come back here and post the BEST video clip of my kids dancing and laughing and wrestling in the kitchen tonight while they waited for a VERY late dinner to finish cooking!  Kids GET how to DANCE!!!

And in the spirit of Spanish music, we found the coolest grocery store the other day. Walking through the Vallarta was like re-visiting a little piece of Latin America, one of my other true loves!!! We went for a weekly family night activity, going to buy cereal on sale, and we were just so "enamored" by it all that we walked around, and I reminisced about my mission (and all the DIFFERENCES between Chilean culture/food and Mexican culture/food). And Dave reminisced about his month-long trek through Mexico the summer before we got married. And we found their POSTRES!!! Desserts like I have NEVER seen in an American bakery but that were a dime a dozen in bakeries all over Chile. Remember how I feel about frosting on cinnamon rolls? I have, have, have to give theirs a try. I think I may have found a store-made cinnamon roll worth it's calories, with JUST the right amount of icing-on-the-cake frosting. HOWEVER, we're on a budget freeze right now so we just treated ourselves to two $.79 postres -- a bavarian cream empanada and this other thing that was like cake rolled in caramel and dipped in nuts. We were more than impressed. The kids loved it, and it's a definite MUST-DO-Family-Evening again. So simple, so rewarding, so fun!

And in the spirit of Jarabe de Palo and Latin America, I'm putting the music video for the other song on my CD that I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Bonito. Beautiful. Basically, it's about how everything is just "beautiful" -- Everything about life is just so good!

I hope you dance . . . and I hope you smile at all the things that are going GREAT in your life!

A Little Inspiration Goes a LONG Way!!!

I thought this was awesome. So I wanted to share. To remember. To have something to look back on when I forget. Because anything is possible. If you really want it badly enough! (Except maybe choosing exactly WHEN your baby will come into the world. But that's a different story altogether!)

Date Night Box

I know I have written about this before, but I wanted to write a more detailed description of what I call the "Date Night Box."

First, the outside:

Source: http://www.katherinebley.com/live_laugh_love_scrapbook/2010/05/altered-gift-box.html

1) Go to your local dollar store (or Goodwill or garage sales or whatever) and find a box that is big enough to hold 3x5 index cards but not so big it will take up a lot of extra space and be bulky.
2) Sort through your scrapbook paper (or scraps, or go to the dollar store or another scrapbooking store) and find two complimentary designs that you think would be fitting for a Date Night Box.
3) Take off any paper, frills, etc. from your box.
4) Cut your scrapbook paper a little larger than the actual size of the box, so you can wrap the edges where needed and also cover any seams.  Combine both color schemes to completely re-cover the box (and lid) -- even the inside, if it doesn't go with your theme and/or distracts your creative eye.

Source: http://www.savedbylovecreations.com/2010/02/decorate-box-with-scrapbook-paper-and.html

5) Using a Cricut or other machine (or just printing your lettering off on the computer and putting in the extra work to do letters out of it), cut out the letters "Date Night!" - or some other catchy phrase of your choice, depending on how you talk about and look at date nights in your marriage/home.
6) Paste or use Mod Poge to put the letters on the front of the box.

You may also want to put magnets on it to put it on the refrigerator or a filing cabinet or something.  Just decide where it is going to be displayed so that it is used and not just gathering dust as a fine new piece of art.

Second, the inside:
1) Buy a pack of 3x5 index cards (colored or plain, lined or not - it's up to you).  You need at least 52 cards!
2) Decorate them to match the outside of the box, or go simple - whichever you choose.  Just make sure that whatever you do doesn't get in the way with you GETTING it done and ENJOYING the PURPOSE of the box.
3) Divide the 52 cards into four piles: one for emotional intimacy, one for intellectual intimacy, one for physical intimacy (NOT necessarily sex, but building intimacy through physical things), and one pile for spiritual intimacy.
4) Decide what your budget for the year is going to be and assign an equal number of cards in each pile a $1, $5, $10, $20, etc. so that the amounts add up to your budget limit.  (This will also help you get really creative in your ideas.)
5) Fill in the cards in each pile with an activity that will help you build/create intimacy in that particular category.  There are TONS of great date ideas out there on the web.  You just have to find them and either use them to come up with your own ideas or tweak them to fit your budget/interests.  A few that I found are here, here, here, and here.  *NOTE* -- It is really important that you do this together.  I don't know about you, but my husband and I are NOT carbon copies of each other, and we enjoy different things to different degrees.  So you want to make sure that both of you are selecting things that sound appealing and give you a good mixture of things you will enjoy and things that will stretch you together.  For example, my friend and I came up with an idea to watch an episode of a dance competition and pretend you are the couple and try to imitate the dancing/dancers.  My husband does NOT dance; I miss it more than I can express!!!  So it would be a stretch for both of us (cuz I'm not professional dance competition material), but it would still be crazy and fun and a MEMORY that wouldn't cost ANYTHING!

6) Mix the cards up.  You can do this however you choose -- color coding, shuffling so you get everything at random, picking a theme for each month on what type of intimacy you want to focus on, choosing a fixed week each month for each type of intimacy, etc.  Decide what will work best for and be fun for you!!!

That's it!!!  And covering the box, depending on how tedious/experienced you are, could take you fifteen minutes.  Filling in the cards could be a fun date night to launch all date nights.  Oh, and you might want to put a wild card in there for the week of your anniversary!!!  And if any other holidays/birthdays conflict with the night of the week you have chosen for yourselves, have a mutual understanding that it will happen the night before or the night after the holiday.  Just make sure you are both on the same page and then . . . work done, play begins!!!

P.S. - Our camera has been out of commission (broken) for a few weeks now, so I don't have pictures of my box to post.  But I did find comparable pictures on other people's sites to give you a few ideas.

Airborne Laser

Since Dave began working for the Air Force in June, he has been sitting in what they call "the cooler" waiting for his security clearance.  Yes, that's right.  He has been sitting for almost three months.  They have filled some of the time with classes on specific areas, which has sometimes been really interesting and great and sometimes just plain boring.

HOWEVER, that is all about to change because his clearance just came, and they just assigned him to a "matrix."  He will be working with the Airborne Laser.  I don't know any more about it than this short video clip (in the post below this one) explains.  But he is excited.  In his exact words, "Yeah - it will be cool, I mean I was worried they were going to have me working on cargo planes, so this is MUCH better than that!"

Yeah -- I guess it wouldn't be that cool to tell people you work on Air Force Cargo planes.  An airborne laser really DOES sound more exciting!

Other than that, he also took the GRE to start applying to grad schools.  As soon as he did, though, his "adviser" asked him what his score was, congratulated him, and told him that if his other interests don't pan out for him, they do have a few programs set up with Georgia Tech and Purdue where their engineers can earn an M.S. while taking classes on-site and save quite a bit of money (like the Air Force pays for a certain percentage of his costs, so it ends up being almost too good to pass up).

So we're still at the drawing board, trying to figure out where our priorities are, where the Lord wants and needs us, where WE want and need us, and what kinds of adventures will be best for our family in the short and long run. (And what sacrifices are worth making in the interim.) 

In the meantime, Dave was called as the First Counselor in our ward's Young Men's Presidency and I was called as the Ward Activities Chairperson.  So far, Dave has had an end-of-summer swimming party, an activity to build a spook alley for the Ward Halloween Party next month, an overnight shooting activity (combine camping and guns and you have some happy leaders -- er, I mean, young men), and they have a temple trip to the L.A. Temple next weekend.  So it has been a busy month, but he is loving every minute of it!

And I can't leave a post about Dave's life without including his 32 birthday!!!!!  And what a life to celebrate adding another year of adventures and accomplishments to!!!

He's had a great month!

And with any luck, September will wrap up with him becoming a daddy again!  This is a month to remember!

Future Weapons Airborne Laser

Run, Forrest, RUN!!!

Okay, so I've been participating in this month-long celebration of the family, which most days has really helped my attitude about my kids and my home and being a mother and a wife and everything.  In fact, I have really enjoyed it and felt uplifted and strengthened and excited about so many things!  And I've found myself researching and seeking answers and inspiration more and more, which I LOVE and miss about myself!  But today . . .

I wanted to run away and never look back!!!

I was snapping at my kids for things like them screaming at me that they just saw a fly . . . or an airplane . . . for the umpteenth time!  I mean, I can get excited with them for a while, but other than getting excited and saying, "You saw an airplane?" "Yeah!" "Wow!  That is SO COOL!" fifteen times before they stop TELLING me that they saw an AIRPLANE (or heard one, in our case, and then dashed to any window to try to spot it) is about all I can do.  I don't know what else to say!  But apparently I'm not giving them the right answer, cuz they just keep telling me over and over again . . . each time getting louder and louder, as if my lack of a correct response somehow means I didn't HEAR them correctly. (But maybe all it means is that they are enjoying having my undivided attention and riding it out for as long as they can!)

And Dear Abby does NOT take well to hearing the word no.  Again, I think she assumes that if I say no, particularly after she says, "May I please . . . ," then I must NOT have heard her or understood her.  Because no is not an acceptable response. EVER.  Like today when I was making grilled cheese sandwiches, using the LAST of the cheese, and she kept asking for a piece of cheese.

Abby: I ont cheese.
Me: I know, Abby.  And I'm making you a cheese sandwich AS WE SPEAK.  So just be patient for a minute, okay?
Abby: (looking confused, like, "Did she just actually deny me some cheese when she has it RIGHT there in her hands?) I ont cheese.
Me: Abby.  I know you want some cheese.  I'm making you a cheese sandwich RIGHT NOW, so just wait a minute.
Abby: (Starting to throw a temper tantrum and sobbing like it's the end of the world.) May . . . I . . . please . . . ave . . . some . . . cheese!
Me: Abby.  I KNOW you want some cheese, but if I give you some, I won't have enough to make you and Isaac a sandwich for lunch.
Abby: (screams at the top of her lungs at this point) I ont some cheese!!!!
Me: Abby.  Get it together.  Stop throwing a fit or go to your room until you are done.
(fit continues)
Okay, Ab -- go to your room until you are done.  I'm not listening to you throw a fit like that.  That is NOT how you get something that you want.
Abby: NO!  I ont cheese!
Me: Abigail . . . . go to your room until you can pull it together.
(I move towards her to help her get to her room.)
Abby: I pull together (and she even did stop crying for a minute).
Me: Thank you.  (I continue making the cheese sandwich.)
Abby: (starts screaming AGAIN) I ont cheese!!!!!

I think I finally distracted her with a banana.  I mean, I probably should have thought of that earlier because she was OBVIOUSLY hungry, but at the time I was just trying to make the sandwich as quickly as possible so it could cool and she could eat it and not be hungry.  So . . . .


And Isaac woke up early . . . both from his night's sleep and from his late-afternoon nap . . . and dutifully woke Abby up in turn.  Which meant I had two un-rested toddlers on my hands from 7:30 this morning on.  Which ultimately means books and movies and children's songs, a walk, a long drive in the car, or just facing the CONSTANT meltdowns.  Or sometimes all of the above . . . three or four times.  After hours of it, we finally opted for a long drive in the car!   At 4:30 in the afternoon because Dave had a late day at work and wasn't coming home at his usual time, and I had HAD it!!!

When he called and hung up and I called him back because I was SERIOUSLY DYING, even in the air-conditioned car with the twins securely tucked away in their seats and the radio playing whatever song I wanted to stop it on, he reminded me he had just gotten to the dentist for his appt. (which I had forgotten about).  I literally cried for like three miles!  Cuz I knew he also had an activity tonight with our young men's group, and that meant he wouldn't be home AT ALL until after 9:00.  And I was on my own all. night. long.  And at that point, I didn't even want to go back home.  If Abby hadn't said, "Mommy - I hungee!  I ont PIZZA!" when we drove by a fast-food place, I don't know how long I would have gone before I went back!  I mean, for some reason we were spotting a LOT of planes on those desert roads and freeways.  And that NEVER gets old for a two-year-old!


So I know I'm blessed to be a mom.  I know I'm going to look back on these days and LONG for them.  I know this is a terrific time of learning and development in their lives.  I know my role is divine and that I should love, love, love and treasure every second of it.  I know they are learning from me to keep their cool or lose it (like I did, quite a few times today).  And I know that movies and television are horrible babysitters.

And today . . . all of that went right out the window!  All I wanted was to ditch the pregnant belly, go back to December 2007, don my best tennis shoes, and RUN FOR MY LIFE!!!!!

There was this song that came on the radio while we were driving, looking at airplanes, and sobbing for miles.  "At last my love has come along.  My lonely days are over.  And life is like a song."  I thought, "Right.  My lonely days began after I found 'my love'; and I have yet to hear a song that really covers it!  Apparently she didn't know about school and work and kids and callings."

And then I thought about it some more.  And I thought, "Or maybe she did."

Maybe she knew all about it and that the hard days -- even seasons that might last a few years -- come to pass.  They are not going to last forever.  They probably won't influence the big picture nearly as much as you think they will.  You'll remember that they happened, but in the face of whatever you are currently (in the future) experiencing and enjoying, they won't seem like much.  And you will realize that even when you didn't physically get to have time together as much as you would have liked, even when you felt like the sum total of your value in life was to make sure that everyone else gets to have and do and become what they want at the expense of all the things you really want at that moment -- you were never alone because you ALWAYS had each other.  And there were enough moments where you got what you needed that you could keep going until the hard times came to pass.  And your children just added even more to that.  And their days -- good and bad -- came to pass as well, and they didn't even remember you snapped at them when they couldn't get over the airplane . . . or fly . . . or flying bug that you trapped in a bowl and finally put in the garage to die in peace (or at least give you peace in the process).  They'll just remember that you were there and that, at the end of the day, they felt secure and loved.  And they got to play in the bathtub with their toys for as long as they wanted!  And they'll even think that bathtime and our one-on-one dinner and bed times were to SPOIL them and not just mom's only solution to sanely get through the evening! ;-D

Cuz love and kids both have that one thing in common -- they're both forgiving and optimistic like that.

And tonight I started to research dates and courses for near-by half-marathons.  Just trying to get back to something that I REALLY WANT and NEED!