The Way of a Child: Unconditional, Forgiving Love

I wrote yesterday about what a hit the shiny mylar balloons were that I got for Abby and Isaac.  To say they loved those balloons with heart and soul would be an understatement!  They played with, ran with, sat with, hit back and forth with, and ultimately slept with those balloons.  And they held them during every activity they did today.

Then this afternoon, Isaac and Abby took their balloons outside to play for the third time today.  They had been fighting non-stop for the hour and a half before they went out, so I was hoping the outdoor air would help cool them down (and me take a time out to get sane).  They were running around and the balloons got tangled, for the third time.  But this time, instead of slowing down and getting them untangled, Isaac pulled really hard and started running away from Abby with both balloons.  Well, Abby caught up and pulled her balloon back, and before I could intervene, Isaac's balloon snapped off the ribbon and was gone. 

Oh boy did he cry over that one!  Each tear got less and less consolable as we watched that blue star slowly drift up into the sky until it was out of sight.  As his crying bordered hysteria, I told him we couldn't get it back, that it was going up to heaven so Great Grandma could play the balloon game with kids in heaven.  Great Grandma was famous for playing the balloon game with Abby and Isaac each and every visit.  But Isaac kept crying!!! 

He pleaded with me to get it back, saying that we needed Daddy to get it in his airplane -- that he loved and needed that balloon and to please have daddy get it in his airplane.  And then he cried some more. 

Abby tried consoling him, repeating my explanation that it was gone up to heaven with Great Grandma.  But it didn't help.  Then suddenly she said, "Isaac?  You want my bawoon?" 

Isaac, pausing for a minute as if to assess if she was sincere, said, ". . . Yeah." 

"Okay Isaac - you can have my bawoon, but no yet go, no go up to Great Grandma.  Okay, Isaac?"  As soon as he got it, the little stinker said, "Oops," and let go of the balloon.  Fortunately, it still had the weight on the end of it.  Abby immediately grabbed it, saying, "No - no, Isaac!  No yet it go up be Great Grandma!"  Then she paused just a millisecond before saying, "You want it back, Isaac?"  Isaac said, "Yeah." 

Abby reached out to give it to him with the instructions, "Okay - but hold tight, Isaac - not want be up in sky, no want be go Great Grandma, okay?" 

And then they played together for the first time in two hours!!!  And by played together, I mean they weren't fighting and screaming and hitting, and slamming doors in each other's faces -- they were just playing together and enjoying it.

I was so proud that Abby let him play with her balloon when just moments before he had lost his balloon while trying to keep Abby's balloon from her!  And I was even more proud of her that even when he deliberately tried to throw her balloon up to the sky because if he couldn't have one, she didn't get one either, instead of getting mad and keeping the thing he wanted from him, she showed compassion for how hurt his feelings were and immediately offered it again with the same instructions that he care for it as much as she would if she were holding it to keep it from flying up in the sky to be with Great Grandma!

Man, adults could learn SO MUCH from children sometimes, couldn't they?  Unfortunately, those who need to hear it the most will read it with people who have wronged them in mind, while those who have wronged them are also reading it with the people who wronged them in mind.  But the true grown-up acts like a child, and instead of seeing corrections that need to be made in others, they simply see a need and react to fill that need. 

It was definitely wrong for Isaac to selfishly try to throw away Abby's balloon -- but I don't think I can put into words what a grown-up and compassionate reaction she returned to him in returning the very valuable possession he had just tried to ensure neither of them would ever play with again!

I'm proud of you, Ab!  I hope you will always have that wisdom and compassion and always turn the other cheek and give yourself and others an opportunity to repent, to forgive, to forget, and to be best friends instead of misunderstanding and misunderstood enemies!!!

Brianna is ONE YEAR OLD Today!!!

One year ago today I was NOT sleeping in a hospital room, nurses were waking me up every hour to ask me about Baby Jane Chaffee's poop and urine routine, Dave was coughing on the sofa next to my bed, and I was wishing we were having a nice candle-lit Steak and Cheesecake Dinner followed by a peaceful night's rest at Gritman Hospital in Moscow, Idaho!  On the home front, Abigail was breaking out in horrible hives, Abby and Isaac were sick with an undetected strep throat, Dave was about to start coughing uncontrollably and be diagnosed with mono (unheard of at his age).  The storms were a-raging, friends!

But through it all, there was a perfect, nameless angel with strawberry hair lying next to me.  And the chaotic events of those days meant that I got some real one-on-one time to take in her wide-eyed wonder, her jaundice-y moments in the light of the sun that turned her reddish hair into a halo of fuzz above her head, her calm disposition and love for cuddling and nuzzling, and the tender moments of her learning to breastfeed.

One year later, our love for that baby is indescribable!  A few of my favorite things that Brianna has brought to our home, hearts, and lives!
* Hearing her wake up and call to us in the morning (Ddd-AAAA!)
* Hearing her run after and away from the twins up and down the hall (giggling every minute)
* Her smiles and first words and signs and contagiously frequent laughs
* Her tantrums when her brother and sister take her toys away
* Sitting and bouncing and playing together during peaceful evenings on the trampoline, which end in me getting out and putting my arms out for her to follow me and her walking towards me with a huge smile on her face and then turning just before she reaches me and running away laughing
* Her overwhelming love for the bathtub and water and absolute shrills of laughter when she gets into the bathroom undetected or finally gets a turn to take a bath and play with the water and the toys
* Watching her fold her arms when we say any prayer or having her sit herself on my lap as we kneel as a family for prayer each night
* Her love for books!!!  She'll go and get a book and sit and flip the pages, mumbling to herself, or listen to Daddy or Mommy read or just stand behind the twins when she hasn't been given a seat of honor on Daddy's lap during story time because she doesn't want to be left out
* Her singing clean up every time we tell the twins to clean something up or she sees us start to pick up toys or food or anything to her singing e-i-e-i-o and laughing at how smart she
* Her dancing in circles in the kitchen during dinner clean up while the rest of the family is boogying all over the place and then begging to be picked up and swung around in ways she can't quite move on her own yet but sees others doing and wants to be a part of
* Her kisses -- such great kisses!!! -- She is always so eager and happy to show her love and share her slobbers with each of us, particularly when we put the twins to bed together before taking her to her own bed during our nightly routine
* Her determination to do things her own way (yes, already)
* Those oh so tender moments when she just climbs up on your lap and lays her head on your chest and says "wuwoo" (I love you!).

Oh this little girl!!!  How we all love, love, love her!  She completes us in ways we could not have imagined one year ago!  And her brother and sister have been mostly mindful of her every need, her every move, her every laugh, her every tear, her everything from the moment she entered this world!!!

For her first birthday, I kind of slacked on planning it.  But I put a plea for help out on Facebook and pieced together a few of the suggestions, all while staying in our budget.  So here's how our wonderful celebration of Brianna's first year and welcoming party for her second year went:

Dave went to work at 6:00 tonight, so we had the whole day together; and I remembered why I don't put too much into these birthdays -- time or money! We took the kids to the dollar store to find a toy for Brianna from them (thanks to Tiffany's suggestion), and the toys were so horrible that we didn't find a single one we would really want them giving her. (Isaac wanted to give her a fire truck and Abby wanted to give her a snake! Um -- no thank you!!!) So we went to WalMart to find the perfect gift from the entire family!!!

She has really started loving the phone (as in, she pitches a HUGE fit if we take it away from her for even a moment!!!), so we were going to get her a phone. But then we found this cute little caterpillar, and the lights and colors were so much more fun that we opted for it. But after giving it to her this afternoon -- well, she lost interest really soon because it's too big to carry around. Isaac played with it more than she did, and she really didn't seem to mind the fact that he was doing so.  So I'm taking it back tomorrow and getting . . . the phone!!! ;-D

We also bought some clearance cupcakes -- we're avoiding sugar and didn't want a ton around to tempt us or to throw away something expensive or sample something homemade as we were making it. And that was a hit -- but I accidentally licked my fingers on an impulse when taking them out and then HAD to have one . . . or two or three! I ditched the frosting, does that count? Next time - Dave puts them out and I stay away!!! ;-D

We also got mylar balloons at the dollar store -- a pink star for Abby, a blue star for Isaac, and a purple Happy Birthday balloon for Brianna. (Bonnie's suggestion!!!)  And those balloons kept them busy ALL DAY LONG!!! They insisted on having them tied to their beds to go to sleep tonight as well - dollars well spent!!!  And the best part is that we can use them to play the balloon game as the helium starts to wear off!  Double great!

We also stopped and got cheeseburgers (we had a price limit for the whole day and stayed in it, but we haven't eaten out for so long that it was a fun treat - or so I thought). Dave and I got salads, but it literally took Abby five hours to eat that cheeseburger, and Isaac was so interested that he took it outside and left it on the ground for the bugs!  So next time -- no eating out for a treat!!!  Money down the drain!!!  I'd rather make stuff that is salvageable and re-heatable at home!!! ;-)

The kids had a hard time the entire afternoon.  We had planned on going to the park and having a picnic, but by the time we got the shopping done and a quick meal to take to the park, they were literally exhausted and asking to go home!!!  So, after lunch we all took a nap so Dave could rest up before working all night and the kids could rest up before driving me insane all night.

As a side note, Abby or Isaac or Brianna put a toy in the toilet two days ago, so we have been down to one toilet; and having to run clear through the house for the twins to go to the bathroom every time they have to go is NOT working very well with potty training.  So we spent about an hour trying to take care of that clogged toilet without success.  Looks like Daddy is going to have to remove it, get the toy from the bottom, and replace it (fingers crossed he doesn't break it and that the drano we used before we figured out it was a toy doesn't destroy the enamel on the toilet or come out and eat Dave's skin while he's working on it).  Oh what fun it is to ride in a three-kid-dominated sleigh-hay!

After naps, we took pictures and a video of her first cupcake/candle experience!!!!  Dave lit the candle and put it in front of her as we sang happy birthday.  Then we were trying to show her to blow it out by blowing just hard enough that it started to flicker and she could tell we were blowing but not hard enough to actually blow it out.  She grabbed at the candle, looked at us like we were crazy and this must be some sick joke to put something like that in front of her, grabbed at the candle again, looked at us again, then grabbed the frosting below the candle and put it in her mouth!!!  Instant success!  And instant loss of interest in the burning candle or blowing it out!  After a few more prods as she contentedly dipped her fingers repeatedly into the frosting and into her mouth, we finally just blew it out for her!!!  It was hilarious!

We got so caught up in the cake/candle experience and the Isaac having to run back to the back bathroom and trying to get Dave out the door that we completely forgot the present that was sitting right there on the table in front of her!!!  Just as he was walking out the door, he came over to say goodbye and looked at the present and said, "Um - we need to open her present!"  So we got the cameras back out and Isaac helped a clueless Brianna open her present!!!

Though there were many other things we could have done to make it "out of the ordinary and special" - the things we DID do were definitely out of the ordinary and special!!!  I think they all had a great time.  And I know that any more would have been the straw that broke the camel's back -- another K.I.S.S. moment (keep it simple, sweetie)!

My kids' conversation this morning as they waited for me to come open their doors.
Abby: Mommy, please let me out, I wake up!
Isaac: Abby, Mommy sleeping!
Abby: Oh.  I think Daddy at church.
Isaac: I think Daddy at work.
Abby:  How we gonna get out of here?
Isaac: We need find way out, out of with these scary ghosts!
Abby: But we can't open the dooo-ooor!  Isaac.  What we do get out?
Isaac: I no know, Ab. I need get out scary ghosts.
Abby: (silence)
Isaac: AHHHH!!!!  Abby! A scary shark - look, look!  Ahhhh! (makes scary shark noises)
Abby: A scary SHARK?
Isaac: Yeah! (laughing)
Abby: Isaac, just turn yo light on and play with yo toys!
Isaac: (More scary shark noises.)

They could go on forever!!!!  It's kind of fun sometimes to just sit back and listen.  But of course, being the good mom that I am, even when they wake up an hour and a half early, I didn't make them keep up with their long-distance relationship for long! :-)

Calling Us on It

This weekend is Stake Conference for our church.  That is a time when all of the congregations in a designated geographical area get together for a combined worship service.  There is usually an adult meeting on Saturday night and a family meeting on Sunday.  Since we didn't have a babysitter, I went to the adult meeting last night by myself while Dave stayed home with the kids.  This morning, Isaac woke up, ran up to me, gave me a big hug, and then got the most serious/scolding look on his face and said, "Mommy - why you go to church without me?"  It made me smile!

We've been potty training commando-style for the last week and a half, and they've done great!  But now we are trying to transition and still get them to keep going potty while wearing underwear. This morning after playing around and giving morning hugs and playful "spankings" from Daddy, Dave said with all the excitement of a five-year-old on Christmas morning, "Today, we are going to try wearing underwear!  Won't that be fun?"  Isaac didn't miss a beat - he walked right up to Dave, laughing, put his hands on either side of Dave's face, got right up to where his nose was almost touching Dave's nose and said, "Daddy!  You too big!"  Silly Daddy -- I guess "we" won't be trying to wear underwear today after all! ;-D

Sometimes it's Isaac and sometimes it's Abby, but either way it's certain that one or the other of them will call us on our actions and words.  Sometimes we're right, but sometimes they are.  And all times they amaze me with how quickly their little brains assess and respond to any given situation!

This Isn't Working For Me

While I was loading the dishwasher yesterday, Abby came in and - from out of the blue, with the most serious look and most adult tone-of-voice -- said to me, "Mom, this isn't really working for me right now."  Huh?  Brief moment of silence while I gathered my thoughts.

"What isn't working for you, Ab?"

Exasperated sigh, roll of the eyes, intense look on her face that said, "Ugh, MOM! Do I really have to spell it out for you?"  But she simply said, "THIS!"

Thanks for clearing that up for me. "This? What is this?"

Again the look.  "THIS!!!!!" This time, she reached her arm up in a sweep and pointed from wall to ceiling to wall.

Wow - where did you ever hear that expression and how am I actually having this conversation with my three-year-old? "This . . . . house?"

Immediately her face changed to one of excitement!  Her eyes gleamed, her brows lifted, her smile lit up the entire room. "Uh-huh!"  I don't know if I had really gotten what she was saying or if I had given her something she could work with, but whichever it was, she was happy.  Then she said, "I just really want to go back to Grandpa's house!"  Ah.  Grandpa's house.  The cows.  And horses. And chickens. And real live cats. The garden and picking fresh strawberries. The acres of land to roam and wander. The family walks down country roads.

I explained to her that we really couldn't go to Grandpa's house right now.  But that we would get all of that someday. 

Someday.

I have been thinking about the future - that dreamlike state of mind that sometimes feels so distant I feel like I'd as soon capture a cloud as reach it.  And sometimes it seems so real I have to remind myself that it isn't.  It's easy to get caught up in what you don't have but know you love and want.  Like Grandpa's house!  And it's good to have those moments.  To say at times, "This isn't really working for me right now!"  Because those moments help you define what you really want, what matters the most, what WILL work for you!  And I am a FIRM believer in CREATING the life and conditions you want.  If it is attainable and you really want it, find a way to have it.  Do NOT sit back and wait for things to change or someone to hand it to you.  Do NOT sit back and tell yourself it isn't something you can have, that it is out of reach.  Because the moment you tell yourself that is the moment you are right.  The moment you reject that thought, or the moment you extract it from your mind, is the moment you create a setting for successfully becoming and doing what you most desire in life!

But sometimes you also just have to say, "This is my reality right now and there's nothing I can do about it, so I might as well live, laugh, and love it!"  That isn't conceding.  That's accepting what is real WHILE YOU WORK TO CREATE what is ideal!

Yesterday I spent hours putting together meals-from-scratch that I can freeze to create my own freezer meals for skillet or crockpot preparation on those "crunch" days.  Okay, every day seems to be a crunch day!!! ;-D  I've spent the last few weeks emptying my freezer of all of the "fast-food"-style freezer food.  No worries - I didn't throw it in the garbage!  We actually ate it.  We don't have money to just throw stuff away.  But we were rotating it out . . . for good!  From Weight Watchers to Lean Quisine.  Processed is out.  Made-from-scratch with ingredients I can recognize, those that will actually mold or spoil if left out, is in.  That is a change I can create right now!  That is a goal I can accomplish!  Granted, I only finished one dish.  But if I do 14 servings of one dish every day, or every other day, pretty soon I'll have QUITE the freezer full of DELICIOUS food!

And I'll have weeded out for good just one thing in my life that "isn't really working for me right now."