P.S. Santa

While trying to remove some mystery item from Isaac's mouth yesterday, I was rather surprised to have him bite down and actually have something besides gums there on the top of my finger!  Yes, there were two little prints left as a souvenir!  I was a little more cautious as I checked to see the status of Abby's two bottom teeth that still hadn't broken through yet.  And, though she's a bit behind, they are also through.

So, Santa, you can go ahead and check "My two front teeth" off of Abby and Isaac's wish lists. Isaac got the top two; Abby now finally has the bottom (her FIRST two, I might add!).

Thanks.

And she's off . . . .

Just as she learns the word stop, Abby has also learned to

GO, GO, GO

And go she has!  She started taking a few steps last week with Daddy.  Then yesterday, after watching her walk across the kitchen on her own, I stood her against the sofa and told her, "Walk to Momma!"  And she did.  As she got closer to me, I started to back up; and she kept on walking across the living room and down the hall!  Now I find her bravely taking on larger distances and triumphantly smiling and bouncing up and down while yelling, "Yay, yay, yay!"

Of course this means that every time I clap for Abby, Isaac goes to her starting point and runs toward me as fast as he can and then reaches up with a huge smile on HIS face for HIS accomplishment.  I, of course, comply to his unspoken request and toss him up in the air and give him a huge hug while saying, "Yay, Isaac!" just as he saw me do with Abby.  So they both feel loved!

Yesterday Isaac actually walked up to Abby as she was walking down the hall and put his arms around her to give her a hug!  It caught her off guard, so she fell down, of course, but both were smiling and I wished, yet again, that I had a hidden camera on every wall, constantly taking pictures and recording all these special moments (while never picking up on the dirt or messes, of course!). ;-D

Crafty Crafty

I know I already have a laundry list going for things I want to do in the very near future, but I found a few other things this morning.

#1 -- Christmas Tree ornaments, focusing on our family this last year and Dave's family (since they are coming here for Christmas) for the last . . . . forever.  I found an idea to take six inch blocks of wood, paint them black, trim a picture, paste the picture on the block with Modge Podge (not sure what this is, but I am sure I can find it at Michaels on Black Friday and probably get a good deal), and staple a ribbon on the back to hang them with
. . . . EXCEPT . . . .
I am going to put scrapbooking paper behind the picture and buy a stamp pad to fudge up the edges around the picture a bit.  I think this will make a really personal, really fun tree with ornaments I don't have to worry about my kiddos breaking!  Need I say more? ;-D  I'm thinking I'll print all the pics off in black and white or an antique-looking brown and buy a brown or magenta ink pad, and then I will send a lot of the ones from Dave's family home with -- well, his family! ;0)

#2 -- A family values canvas.  Check it out here.  I really love this idea -- and if you have a cricuit-type machine (or know someone who does), you can make one a year with goals/absolutes for your family for that year and make a tradition of evaluating/changing it each New Year's Eve.  I just thought of that, actually, and I think it is a FABULOUS idea! :-D

More to come, I am SURE!!!!

Pumpkin Custard

With fall in the air, I am feeling the overwhelming desire to BAKE!  And fall always means apple and pumpkin pies!  In the spirit of my quest this year to be more health-conscious, I decided to branch out a bit and experiment.  After making and sharing a delicious pumpkin pie on Sunday, I had some extra pumpkin in the refrigerator and decided to try pumpkin pie without the crust!  It cuts out about 240 calories and 12 grams of fat.  Here's the recipe!  And, yes, it was DELICIOUS!!!!!  Babies and Dave gave it a two-thumbs-up stamp of approval!

Pumpkin Custard
14 oz. canned pumpkin
3/4 c sugar
1 can Skim Evaporated Milk
1/2 cup egg substitute
1 Tablespoon Cinnamon
1/2 Tablespoon Nutmeg
1 tsp. ground cloves
(The spice amounts are approximate.  I just added them until it looked right.  Follow your favorite recipe's amounts, and you should be fine).

Mix them all together in a bowl, pour them into a sprayed pie pan, cook for 15 minutes in a preheated 425 degree oven.  Lower temperature to 350 degrees and cook for another 40 minutes (or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean).  Serve warm or cold, with light whipped topping or without.  I also added some Fiber One for a little crunch!  Seriously. SERIOUS yummi-ness!

Oh, cute!

Abby has a new word today:

STOP!

And she uses it when I'm trying to keep her out of things she wants to get into, when I am changing her diaper, when I am taking her out of the drawer she likes to sit in and jump in like a trampoline, tearing it off its sliders and causing damage we don't want to repair come June. She basically uses it everywhere I have said it to her.  *sigh*

And she tries to put her own pajamas on and feed herself and give herself a bath and brush her hair . . . . and she even feeds Isaac and wants to help change his diaper!  She's little Miss Independent!  Very strong-willed and determined, a definite mind of her own.  And we love her . . . what more can I say?

Yes. Very cute.

One Week . . . .

Actually, it's been a little over a week and a half since I posted that there were 8 WEEKS until the end of the year and gave a holler for making/keeping some New Year's resolutions for 2009.  How are you doing?  I have to admit, I lost steam a bit!  YES, I DID!!!!  I'm only on 2 Nephi 26; I haven't sewn a bit on my tree skirt;  I've hmmmed and hahhhhed a bit over Isaac and Abby's memory books; and I don't even remember the rest off the top of my head.

BUT . . . .

I, like Molly Brown, am basically unsinkable!  I will prevail!  I will re-focus!  I will succeed!  And I will float the Success in '09 river in a cruise ship of my own making.  Just you wait and see . . . .

OH . . .

And there's plenty of room for YOU on that cruise ship as well!  Just so you know! ;-D

UP-date

So, yes, I really did like the movie Up!  Though the dogs were a bit over-kill I think.  Other than that -- SUCCESS!!  I was really impressed with the story and the little discoveries along the way.  Sort of predictable, sort of unpredictable.  Anyway - Nique if you haven't seen it, we'll bring it for Thanksgiving.  Anyone else in Moscow that wants to borrow it -- let me know!  I think it's a PERFECT date night movie.

Our Veteran's Day date:
Hahahahaha!  First of all, if it weren't for the A&W billboard saying that Veterans got a free combo meal on Veteran's Day, I would have had NO idea it was even close!  Sad, huh, considering my husband and dad are both Veterans?  So about a week ago, Dave casually said to keep Wednesday open because we had something he was planning.  I LOVE it when he does stuff like that, so I complied and then slightly put it out of my mind until Tuesday night when he walked in and handed me Up.  I asked if that was what he had planned for Wednesday, and he said, "Partly," and then I started getting really curious but left it at that.

Then Wednesday as I was out running errands and running people with broken cars around and trying to finalize baby shower stuff, I saw the A&W Billboard.  I called Dave and asked him when Veteran's Day was.  And he slyly said, "Um - I'm not exactly sure.  Why?"  I told him he could get a free combo, and he said.  "Huh.  Yeah -- I guess I could." Then he paused and said, "Actually, Melinda, today is Veteran's Day, and Applebee's has free dinner for Veterans, which is the other part of what we are doing tonight."  Though I have to admit that I wish he would have kept it a surprise, and it would have worked because I have just been spacey lately (as in the last two years or so), it was also nice to know because it gave me a chance to do my hair and put on make-up and get READY for our FREE (kind of) dinner and movie. 

We got to Applebee's and had a 25-minute wait (or so they said). Twenty minutes later, we checked in to see how things were going (starving, tired babies in tow) and found out we had five or six people (groups) ahead of us on the waiting list.  FANTASTIC!!!  Dave had just talked to a fellow-soldier in the parking lot who had gotten his dinner to-go; and we made a wise decision at that moment to do the same.  Dave ordered his free dinner, and we went to the car to wait.  But, as any wise Veteran being offered free food would do, we maximized our wait by getting a free appetizer (compliments of Arby's and THEIR free combo meal for Veterans on Veteran's Day).  The kids were DYING at this point, and the Arby's Turkey Swiss Market Sandwich helped a TON to keep them held over - not to mention the two of us with their curly fries.  We got back to Applebee's and still waited another ten minutes before getting our food (good thing we didn't decide to go in and wait).  The babies finished off the sandwich and were still HUNGRY, so we stopped yet again on our way home and picked up appetizer #2 at . . . you guessed it . . .  A&W!  They love cheeseburgers (from the whole three they have had in their lifetime), so a double cheeseburger combo it was!  And we made them wait while we drove the two and a half blocks home. Oh, torture, Mom and Dad! 

Then we got inside, transferred the Applebee's 7oz. steak with mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli to a plate, said a quick prayer, and proceeded to share the official "meal" of the evening (and finish off the french fries and double cheeseburger the kids left once they figured out how YUMMY the mashed potatoes were and how FUN their toys still were).

To be honest, even though it might sound a little white trash in some ways to take advantage of ALL the free food offers, it was really quite fun -- like a traveling dinner date!  I feel a new date night idea coming on . . . . Needless to say, it was a DARN good thing for my diet that I hadn't had much of anything to eat all day!  And that I had three other people to share it all with!

My Little Man!

Isaac is SUCH a little man.  Just one thing to illustrate:

In my living room I have a 10-pound medicine ball.  A few weeks ago, Isaac started to try to lift it off the ground. How did I know?  His cry of frustration every time he tried and failed, his grunts and red face as he pressed on, even more diligent, to get that ball OFF the ground.

And then he DID get it off the ground.

More frustrated cries; more attempts; more red faces; more frustrated cries.

And today . . . amidst those cries and grunts and frustrations . . . that little man lifted that ball clear up to his chest!

Do they have body-building competitions for 14-month-olds? :-)

Up, Up, UP!

So tomorrow's surprise/mystery date has one clue already: Dave came home and handed me Up! -- and that is all I know about that!  Yes, folks, it's true!  We own a movie we have never seen before, intentionally bought it just so we could watch it, and have had a rule for MONTHS now that we can't watch it unless we watch it together.  We don't know what it's about.  We don't know the plot, we don't know a thing about the characters, we don't know the setting or anything more about it than that it is a Disney Pixar film and we . . . . somehow already LOVE it!

  More to come, I am sure!  I can't wait!

Don't Grow Up . . .

Dear Abby and Isaac,

Lately, I have had a really hard time with letting you grow up.  I look at your sweet, innocent faces; I realize how much more I wish I could have given you individually during the last year; I see the world you are entering all too soon; and I wonder if you are going to be prepared.

I want to go into your room sometimes and pull you out of your beds and just sit in the rocker and stroke your cute faces and revel in you in this moment for just a moment longer than the day will allow.  I wish you could talk to me and tell me all the things I'm not getting, all the things you ARE getting more than I know.  I wish I could transfer to your little minds and spirits all of the things I have a testimony of so you can START with that and keep going and going and going until you really GET it, really HAVE all the things you will need to face the battles and stumbling blocks and boulders Satan will put in your path in your lifetime.

I wonder what you are going to be like as teenagers, what you are going to be like as siblings, what kind of relationship we are going to have, and if I am going to have the love it will take to teach you to love . . . . charity, the pure love of Christ, for all people and in all situations . . . . and discernment to know when to give it and when to hold it back.  I wonder who you will date, what kind of a person you will choose to marry; and I want to sit and have popcorn and hot chocolate talk with you now and tell you all the things to watch out for and all the things to hope for.

I want to caress all the cares and worries of the world out of your faces, even though they aren't there yet.  And I want to help you keep every second of the wide-eyed wonder moments you have so many times each day.

More than anything, I hope you know I love you.  I hope you know, even when I make huge mistakes and hang on too tight and maybe even judge too quickly and react too harshly, that I love you more than anything and just want you to be happy and healthy and wise.

I hope you know how much I LOVE your dad, how much I admire and respect him and want very much for you to glean from all of the good that he has to offer and teach you.

I hope you know how much I love our Heavenly Father, how much I want you to know and love Him as I do and to desire first and foremost to return to His presence so that we can ALL be together forever!  I hope you know how much I am relying on Him to teach me all the things I need to know about YOU and to help me prepare you to do all the things He needs you to do and to have all the things He has in store for you in life.  I hope you know how much I love Jesus Christ, how much I appreciate and rely on Him EVERY DAY to make it possible for me to be the kind of mom you need and the kind of person that CAN walk with you back to Heavenly Father's presence; how much you will need to rely on Him EVERY DAY to make it through everything you will face in life and how much STRENGTH He will give you to do ALL THINGS.  I hope you realize with gratitude how much He is in the small things and He makes possible the joy, the happiness, the hope, the peace, the love, the end to suffering, to pain, to afflictions, to torments, to sin.

I hope you love the hymns!  I know your dad won't be singing solos in church or even in the shower any time soon, but I hope you smile every time you hear him sing off tune and that you always sing LOUD and CLEAR all the songs that we enjoy together now.  I hope you always pop, pop, pop when you hear Popcorn Popping and clap your hands when you hear If Your Happy and You Know It and smile and snuggle a bit closer every time you hear You Are My Sunshine and bob your head and bounce up and down when you hear any other number of songs.

I hope you love your bodies.  I hope you LOVE to move in them, to grow in them, to LIVE in them.  I hope you appreciate what a gift they are and that you get joy and strength from exercising and enhancing your physical ability to move, to breathe, to serve, to love, to reach out, to jump, to skip, to run, to lift, to give.  I hope you always make it a priority to nourish your body, to be mindful of its needs, to have the strength to keep your physical desires in check and to enjoy them when it's time to enjoy them and not over-indulge and have regrets (even one more cinnamon roll can be too much sometimes!).  I hope your physical appearance and choices always reflect who you are and what you stand for - truth, righteousness, joy, hope, eternal life.

I hope you love the prophet!  I hope you look forward to opportunities to receive further counsel and implement it in your lives, always hungering and thirsting to have and know and do more, always finding it a joy to do so.

I hope you love the Gospel and the Work that goes along with it, that you desire to serve and share this wonderful message about the atonement of the Savior and the Plan of Salvation and the Restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ and the translation of the Book of Mormon and the good news that Families CAN be together forever and don't have to be separated by death or illness or any number of other things.

I hope you will love the Temple, the House of the Lord; that you will long to be inside its walls and feel the peace you can only find there.  I hope you will rejoice in your covenants and feel that it is a privilege to be worthy to enter its doors.  And I hope you will make it a point to go there often, to look into eternity and find the strength to keep walking towards it, to find the strength to soak it up and bask in its warmth and peace and hope.

And I hope you will always dance, you will always sing, you will always LAUGH, you will always try to learn and get that gleam in your eye every time you do, you will always get frustrated that you can't do more, you will always be proud when you get that one thing you have been trying so hard to figure out for so long, you will always be beside yourself with joy when your dad or I walk in the room after a short (or long) absence, you will always feel safe to cry and to be disappointed sometimes and to forgive so easily and love so freely, you will always light up at the simple things, you will always find JOY in each moment of each day.

So I'll let you sleep tonight while I'm up thinking enough for both of us.  But please know how much I love you . . . and please don't ever grow up too much for that.

Sweet, Sweet, Sweet!

For the first sweet: This morning I got the babies out of their cribs, knelt down, and said, "Prayer." Abby immediately knelt down and said, "Prayer!"  It was really cute!  It lasted about five seconds, but it was still really cute -- might have lasted longer if her brother wasn't so busy taking all the toys out of the box as fast as he could! ;-D  Some of her other new words are bak (bounce), kick, and aIsIc (Isaac).  She's also saying Ma ma ma A LOT, which balances out Isaac's da da da.  And they are really fun, CUTE fans of Moooooo (Abby's sounds like Mo drug out and Isaac's sounds like Mmmmmmm with a little inflection there in his tone).

For the second sweet thing, I came in from my afternoon run and Isaac, playing with the magnet toys in the dining room, sucked in all the oxygen in three rooms with his squeal of delight!  Then he ran over to the door, reached up, put his other hand to his ear, and started dancing.  Any guesses what he wanted?  My headphones!  I started something -- and he LOVES to listen to my music and dance!  It's great!

For the third sweet thing, after I got home from my afternoon run, the babies and I walked Daddy to school.  There is a path on the way to the school that used to be paved but has since been "rocked over" and the trail has been diverted in a different direction.  But the rocky trail IS the fastest way to get to the school.  SO as we were riding across it, we hear the babies start to go "aaaaaaah, aaaaaah, aaaaaah" -- you know, that sound you used to make when you were kids and would ride over the railroad tracks?  Yep - they already figured it out!  On the way home, they almost instantly started chiming in again as soon as we hit the first bump.  It was really cute!

Fourth sweet -- on our way to school, Dave was telling me that Abby is little miss ANIMATION!  He was playing with her when she woke up from her nap.  There's this rhyme/actions thing that his dad used to do with him and now he (and I) do it with the babies.  You say, "Little horsey walk, walk, walk; little horsey trot, trot, trot; little horsey galloping, galloping, galloping; little horsey BUCK!"  Then you move your leg like you're walking, trotting, galloping, and buck them off (catching them, of course) at then end.  He said as he progressed to each stage, she just got more and more excited until she was almost falling off his lap with anticipation and laughter!  Then she couldn't wait to start again -- she actually started bouncing herself over and over and over and OVER and over . . . laughing each time as if it was the first!  Isaac loves this game, too, but he usually just gets this very pleased, sweet smile on his face and waits until you finish to laugh and then start bouncing up and down for you to do it again.  It's fun!

For the last sweet thing -- my tooth!  I have the biggest sweet tooth right now!  EXCEPT -- the only sweet things in my house are raisins, apples, diet A&W Root Beer, and chewable Vitamin C tablets.  YIKES!  I guess my fool-proof system at not tempting myself is full-proof.  So . . . . Vitamin C, anyone? :-)

Baby Shower Facelift

My friend Kristi is having a baby boy.  So my friend Lydia and I decided to throw her an unusual baby shower.  Her baby is apparently coming early, and Kristi and her husband are both in school.  Not to mention they have two adorable little girls they are raising.  So, with the unexpected early arrival, school schedules, Thanksgiving coming all too soon, and her do-everything-myself-without-asking-for-help personality, we decided to throw a shower without an actual shower.  (Read the invite for details.) I'm actually really excited about it.  I'll let you know how it goes.

P.S. - I wrote the poem; Lydia made the invite on her scrapbooking program.  LOVE this program.  I think I might have to get one! ;-D

Eight Weeks

There are eight weeks until the end of 2009.  EIGHT WEEKS!

Know what I've been thinking?  I want to leave 2009 with some solid gold things that I can look back and see and say that I DID in 2009.  So I've come up with a short list:
1) Make a date file for weekly dates with my husband for 2010.
2) Make a memory book for each of my children of their first year of life.
3) Make a family memory book of things that have happened to us this year.
4) Read the Book of Mormon -- here's a 60-day schedule, so I'll have to read ahead a few days, but still! ;-D

I would LOVE to finish my tree skirt/mantle piece; but we'll just have to see how THAT goes.  I may add more later, but I think this is a good start!  I mean, we ONLY have eight weeks, right? ;-D

What unfinished New Year's Resolutions are left on your list?  Any you could still salvage -- I mean, seriously, folks, we have EIGHT WEEKS!!!!! :-)

Teach the Children

As I have continued to reflect on the small and simple things and how these things will affect my children, I was drawn to this statement from a talk given by Elder D. Todd Christopherson of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Our teaching [in our home] should draw upon our own faith and focus first and foremost on instilling faith in God in the rising generation. We must declare the essential need to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before Him in soberness, or in other words, with reverence. Each must be persuaded that service and sacrifice for the well-being and happiness of others are far superior to making one’s own comfort and possessions the highest priority.

This requires more than an occasional reference to one or another gospel principle. There must be constant teaching, mostly by example. President Henry B. Eyring expressed the vision we strive to attain:

“The pure gospel of Jesus Christ must go down into the hearts of [our children] by the power of the Holy Ghost. It will not be enough for them to have had a spiritual witness of the truth and to want good things later. It will not be enough for them to hope for some future cleansing and strengthening. Our aim must be for them to become truly converted to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ while they are with us. . . .Then they will have gained a strength from what they are, not only from what they know. They will become disciples of Christ."

Elder David Bednar, also of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles, stated the following:
"May every spouse, every child, and every parent be blessed to communicate and receive love, to bear and be edified by strong testimony, and to become more consistent in the seemingly small things that matter so much. . . . In these important pursuits we will never be left alone. Our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son live. They love us and know our circumstances, and They will help us to become more diligent and concerned at home."

So I have a few questions for you: 

1) How have you made the transition from single woman to wife and mother in terms of your personal spirituality?  What have you learned?  What do you do differently to ensure you still get the quality of study and preparation when you don't always have time for the quantity?  How do you keep yourself spiritually in shape even when your husband is rarely home to give you time or even if you have to stay at home with sick kids on Sunday (or many Sundays) or if you sit by yourself with your kids during Sacrament Meeting/church while your husband fulfills other assignments/duties?

2) What specific traditions do you have in place (not generalities like scripture study, prayer, family home evening -- I know all of those, but I'm wondering what you do WITH those things - or what you are trying to do, have done in the past, hope to someday do because you know someone else who does it, etc.) to teach and prepare your children to go to battle with the full armor of God?  How have you changed/incorporated new things at different ages and stages in your children's lives and development?  What have you learned through the process/tweaked with subsequent children?  What has worked best . . . and what hasn't worked, for that matter?  What have you included during holidays or Sabbath days (to teach reverence without snacks, for example) or whatever other days?

For myself, I am working to establish a habit of morning prayer, mealtime prayers, a weekly story from the Friend for Family Home Evening, and a nightly hymn/children's song and family prayer before bed. For now, Dave and I have a second FHE together to focus on the things we need in order to be a family, prepare our family, and work through our individual challenges.  One other thing we do differently for FHE with the babies is sing a few fun songs -- Popcorn Popping, Book of Mormon Stories, etc. -- that we wouldn't sing in our nightly bedtime songs but are still interactive to do with the kids and have fun together.  We rarely miss companionship prayer (morning and night) and scripture study (Conference Talks from the Ensign). There are moments when I have read from the Book of Mormon with my children, though not many and usually just a verse.  We also used to watch General Conference together every morning as prepared/they ate breakfast.  Then I started to reconsider multi-tasking mealtime and haven't found a time to put it back in yet. That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

PLEASE SHARE!!!!

The Little Things

". . . by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6

This has been a crazy week for me, and it's only two days into it.  First I was involved in a pretty intense discussion about an article published in the New York Times by an ex-sister-missionary about her experiences on her mission (I don't think I have to spell out that it wasn't a positive article, particularly for me as a returned missionary who LOVED my mission and cannot fathom the idea that anyone could feel otherwise).  Then I returned to Facebook tonight and was looking up old friends that I haven't kept in touch with in many years.  I didn't get far before stumbling across the page of a young man I actually considered marrying at one point.  Imagine my immense sadness to see that he is presumably atheist now, drinks, smokes cigars, jokes around about using and dumping women to his heart's desire, talks about his support of people who divorce their parents and sees the absolute need for it in some cases, jokes around about visiting the LDS church and taking the sacrament just to throw the cups back in their faces and call them idiots for serving water when Jesus drank wine, . . . . the list goes on.

How do people reach this point?  Seriously. How in the world do these things happen?  Dave and I have had quite a few conversations in the last few days (to the point that he's kind of sick of hearing about certain topics/conversations over and over again -- sorry, Dave!) about testimony.  We have talked quite a bit about expressing your viewpoints when you don't agree with other people and where/when to draw the line.  We have talked quite a bit about our mission experiences, about invitations and council that we have received from the Lord and perhaps not followed through on quite as strongly as we should.

Essentially, it really does all boil down to a number of small things.

• Did you read your scriptures today?  Did you actually study them or did you just skim them?  Do you remember what you read?  Have you thought about how to apply it to your life and how it relates to your personal struggles, joys, life changes, etc.?  If you are married, did you take time to have a meaningful gospel-related conversation and/or study something together and discuss how to apply it in your marriage, home, and family? Have you made and/or taken time to have a testimony-building or affirming conversation with your children, to bear testimony to them and give them a chance to feel the power of the Word of God?
  
• Did you pray today?  How many times?  For what purpose?  With what intent?  Do you remember what you said?  Did you take time to listen and hear and feel that God was listening to you and what His message might be to you regarding the things on your mind?  Did you start your day with a prayer, end your day with a prayer, and actually pray throughout the day as you felt to give thanks, feared and needed peace, doubted and needed answers, etc.?  Did you TALK to your Heavenly Father?  Did you feel His love for you?  Did you include the invitation from Pres. Monson to pray that areas that have not yet allowed the Gospel into their borders will be opened, even that miracles will occur to make it possible? Have you prayed with your spouse? Have you prayed with your children?  Could they hear repetition or sincerity and love and reverence in your prayer, even the short ones for tiny ears and short attention spans?
  
• Have you paid an honest and complete tithing this month?  Last month?  In the last three months? Six? Year?  Where is your heart when you pay?  Is it joyful, bitter, content?  Do you look for ways to NOT pay tithing on perhaps more questionable areas of increase for you and/or your family?  Have you contributed to the other funds of the Church, paid a generous fast offering no matter your situation?  When was the last time you fasted? Do you remember what it was about? Did you receive instruction, peace, answers to questions in your fast, etc.? Are you teaching your children about tithing and fast offerings - through your own action/attitude and through identified/prepared moments specifically set aside TO teach them?
  
• Did you watch General Conference last month?  If you missed it, have you made up for the time you missed and began working to catch up on the messages/instruction/etc.?  How do you feel about General Conference?  Do you look forward to it each and every time it comes around?  Do you feel bothered by the time you have to take out of your schedule, looking for reasons to miss or skip one session or another?  Are you excited to receive further light and knowledge from the Lord's servants?  Do you use the time to give your children testimonies of a living prophet of God and apostles on the earth today?  Do you watch it to critique everything that is said, find faults you can pass off as mortal weaknesses in imperfect men?  Do you get a copy of the Conference Ensign and anxiously begin to study the messages given and apply them to your lives?  Did you make sure to include your children in Conference, find ways to point out things that apply to them/take moments to testify to them in word and action of the blessing of modern revelation?
  
• Do you attend the temple as often as you can?  Do you look for excuses to NOT make it one week or one month, etc.? Do you take time to prepare for your experience - mentally, physically, spiritually?  Do you pay close attention to and look for ways you can improve in applying the covenants you have made?  Do you sleep through every session, arrive late or just barely on time, and leave as soon as it's over?  Do you look forward to the meal before or after more than you do to the session itself?  What music are you listening and conversations are you engaging in as you drive to and home from the temple? Are you spending so much time trying to find something new that you are missing the value of applying the basic, "old," and obvious parts of the ceremonies? Have you followed Pres. Hinckley's invitation to double your temple attendance . . . . and re-applied it . . . . and re-applied it?  Do you think about the interview questions that qualify you to be there each time you attend and reassess your worthiness and how you can improve? Do you take your children to the temple and testify to them about the work done within its walls and the blessings that affect them personally?
  
• Do you worthily partake of and prepare for the blessing of partaking of the Sacrament each week?  Do you meditate each week on your covenants, on your personal repentance and salvation, and on your relationship with the Savior? If you have kids, is sacrament meeting something you are teaching them about?  Do you and your children practice reverence each Sunday?  Is your sabbath-day observance something that starts when you arrive late for your meetings and ends when you get home, eat dinner, and take your Sunday nap?  Do you arrive early, prepared to receive and feel and grow; to be sanctified and purified; to renew your covenants and rejuvenate?  When you are getting ready, are you thinking about what people will think about your hair, makeup, clothes, etc. - or that of your children, for that matter - instead of on the covenants you will be renewing, the service you will be rendering, etc.?
  

These are just a few of the things I have been thinking about these past few days.  This list and these questions are not exhaustive, nor are they meant to add even more unnecessary heartache and doubt and disappointment for those days when you are doing your best and still finish with a less than stellar performance.  I know that I have more improvements to make than things I feel confident and comfortable about. And I know I need to use those recognitions to build and improve and not to beat myself up and pull myself down because of them.

But this week's events/conversations have been a real wake-up call for me.  I have re-realized that there are some things you cannot afford to leave to chance.  There are some things you cannot afford to let slide without correction.  There are some things you have to MAKE happen every day, things you cannot afford to leave undone as you drift off to sleep.  I think myself as a sister missionary a few years ago would have a whole lot to say to the me staring at her in the mirror now.  And it's ironic that it has become more difficult to do some of these things as I have become a wife and mother, now when it's even more important that I do them because it isn't just ME that is depending on me to do them.  I am shaping the future of my children, the attitudes they will have, the opportunities they will have to feel and recognize the Spirit for the first time and subsequent times when they need to draw upon it the most.  And I am doing it in the moments they don't even know are happening right now.

". . . by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6

Introducing: RAGGEDY ANN & ANDY

We just had a fabulous Halloween!  Since the babies were just over two months old last year, this was our FIRST HALLOWEEN as a family, and I am so thankful we got to spend so much of it together!  Dave had Drill this weekend, which was originally scheduled to be a three-day overnight trip to . . . . somewhere.  So Friday afternoon, Dave finished his homework, came home, got the ADORABLE OUTFITS grandma had sent in the mail, and helped me get the babies ready to go Trick-or-Treating DOWNTOWN MAIN STREET here in Moscow.  At first, they weren't so sure they liked the whole make-up thing, and they're still NEVER sure about the shoes thing.  But once we got downtown and they saw kids running around everywhere and figured out that when the nice lady/man held out the basket full of colorful packages, they got to reach in and PICK ONE OUT and then, even better, PUT IT IN Mom's BAG, they started to have a LOT of fun!  Isaac even reached a point where he decided to switch things up a bit and take the color form Mom's bag and add it to the nice lady/man's basket -- before going back for an even BIGGER fistful to add to Mom's bag again, of COURSE! :-)  It was really a lot of fun.  And Dave was not the only one who said that our babies were the BEST dressed and had the CUTEST costumes of anyone else. :-)

After going downtown, we went to A&W for a quick bite to eat before heading over to our ward party for about 20 minutes and then rushing home to get Daddy dressed and out the door for Drill.  Dave's sister Rebecca arrived just after we got home, and she and her daughter Hailey spent the evening with me while Dave headed off to do men's work at the National Guard.  (I'm still not sure what they did -- don't think Dave is too clear on it, either -- but it was manly and necessary, nonetheless).  Rebecca headed off to the Single's Dance for about an hour before coming back to crash our MUCH MORE INTERESTING Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory party!  Yes, the new version, which is NOTHING compared to the older version and very WEIRD and CREEPY at times, which makes it a PERFECT Halloween selection! ;0)

Saturday morning came all too early for EVERYONE. Dave headed to Drill, Rebecca and Hailey hung out until they were dressed and ready to head to their Spokane parties, and then I crashed on the sofa!  I have been sick all week, and my body is NOT recovering very quickly.  I had just called the hospital to check on my friend Glenda Holder's condition after her weekend surgery when my friend Desi knocked on my door.  Bye, bye nap time -- but it was a really GOOD substitute! ;-D

We chatted, Abby woke up, Desi graciously played with her while I took a much-needed shower and got ready to face the rest of the day, and when Isaac woke up, we all went for a nice long walk.  It was GREAT, minus the bitterly cold winter wind that we couldn't get Isaac to stay bundled up to get through.  So he was pretty much ice by the time we got back to Desi's house.  For the most part, though, he didn't seem to mind.  He just HAD to see everything there was to see - no way we were covering his face or taking away his exploring and pointing hands. NOT A CHANCE! ;-D  Abby, completely bundled, even her face hidden from view, did the smart thing and FELL ASLEEP!

Then . . . . surprise, surprise, Dave called me to see where I was (presumably from Orofino and some gravel pits they were supposed to dig up this weekend to practice using the BIG equipment).  Turned out HE WAS HOME with a FABULOUS chicken salad dinner just waiting for us to return.  Desi and Austin contributed organic soda MADE WITH REAL SUGAR and NO CAFFEIN OR SALT (how they manage that with cola, I have no idea); it was DELICIOUS!  Picturesque, even -- wish I had a picture to prove it.

After dinner, we got the babies dressed up again and headed over to a party with the Ragsdale's.  They had HOMEMADE DOUGHNUTS and ROOT BEER and a party that spanned THREE APARTMENTS: One for food; one for dancing (also with food), and one for Video Games (also, I imagine, with food).  It was a lot of fun!  HOWEVER, Isaac was stone faced and emotionless the entire time (NOT characteristic of my little man when food, dancing, lights, and singing are involved), and Abby finally just broke out into very LOUD tears.  So we headed out to try to find a few friends to say hello to before going to bed.

It was great -- just so much fun!  And I cannot tell you how THANKFUL I am that the National Guard didn't get things pulled together to be out of town all weekend long.  SO. VERY. GLAD!

Frames, Chalk, Magnets, Oh MY!

So I have been spending some time in the Idea Room as of late, and I am drawn to this weekly menu board.  I love the vintage look/functionality of it!

Problem: As I've been searching the internet for a metal frame I can use to create it myself, I am having a hard time knowing either a) what to call it to bring it up on a search or b) just plain finding something like this.  I think it's more problem a than b, in all honesty, but THAT'S OKAY . . . .

BECAUSE I found some instructions on how to turn any frame into a magnetic chalkboard (or on how to turn a space on a wall into a magnetic chalkboard).  Check out some other application ideas here. I also followed the Idea Room's link to a tutorial on making glass magnets.  So, what, you ask? Oh, friends, the possibilities are endless: job charts, message boards, family home evening charts, to-do lists, gratitude boards, a fun toy for my kids to play with (once they get out of the eating everything in their hands stage, of course), schedules, etc. And it can all have a classy, vintage look (instead of a cluttered list look) that will add to my home!  SO GREAT!  Now to start shopping for inexpensive wood frames.  First stop: Goodwill!

Okay - cute moment number . . . I forget: Dave just walked in the door and Abby started talking from her crib.  He went in and got her and was playing with her for a few minutes when Isaac woke up.  Her face lit up, and she looked down the hall and started talking.  So I asked her, "Do you hear Isaac down the hall?  Do you want to go get him?  Go tell him Peek-A-Boo."  She got the biggest grin on her face, got down off Dave's lap, and started crawling as fast as she could down the hall to our bedroom, giggling all the way.  Dave ran down in front of her and turned the door knob so she could push the door open.  She got there, giggled with glee, pushed the door open, and started talking to Isaac in her high-pitched, happy jibberish.  Somewhere in there she said, "Baaooo!" (Her way of saying BOO!).  Isaac, of course, also started to laugh.  We have a lot of laughter in our house.  It's so great!

Brag Session

I wish I knew how to put videos on here because I have some AWESOME footage of my little ones. 

Like yesterday, Abby asked to get down from the table before Isaac did (she's been sick and has lost some of her appetite).  Anyway, I kept feeding Isaac and then turned around to put the bowl in the sink and wash it out.  I'm talking to Dave (sitting at the table) when I realize that Abby is TICKLING Isaac's feet.  She seriously was -- like, "HA!  You're trapped and can't move, so I'm gonna getcha!"  She makes the cutest "tickatickatickaticka" noise when she's tickling him - or one of us - or herself, as the case may be. 

Usually, though, her tickling moments come like like the one last night when we were getting ready to sing a song and say a prayer before bed.  Dave was holding Isaac and tickling him like crazy.  Abby was playing down the hall.  I looked at her and said, "Abby - come tickle Isaac!  Hurry!  Come get him!"  She got this look on her face like, "Okay, Mom!  I'm on it! I'm not gonna miss out on THIS one!" and then crawled towards us as fast as she could, reached up for me to lift her up on the sofa, and then reached over and joined Dave in tickling Isaac's tummy.  Soon we were all LAUGHING our heads off.  But I don't often see her just go and start tickling him of her own accord.  It's like the Chaffee Family version of the White Family water fights!  Fun TIMES -- So. FUN!

Then today, I got them both up from their afternoon nap and was holding them before putting them down to play. Abby got the biggest smile on her face and started to giggle as she reached in toward Isaac to give him kisses.  Isaac was nestled into my shoulder and didn't see what was going on.  I said, "Give kisses, Isaac."  He thought I meant to give ME a kiss and pulled his head back and giggled his shy giggle before leaning in to give me a huge kiss.  Then I said, "Give ABBY kisses, Isaac."  He looked at her, bowed his head, started to laugh that shy giggle again -- then Abby started to laugh, and then they had a little back and forth game of "give each other hugs and kisses" and kept laughing the ENTIRE time! And I just stood there holding them and laughing my head off as well.  Wish I could have had a camera on the wall to capture THAT moment.  It was truly priceless.

Number three -- during dinner, Isaac was getting impatient and started to squeal his high-pitched, glass-breaking squeal while waiting for me to give him food.  So when I went over to his chair, I said, "Isaac, we don't scream.  Say please."  He stared at me.  Then I took my hand and put it on my chest to show him and said again, "Say please."  He did it and got food.  Miss Abby took in the entire situation, of course.  I gave her some food and then went back to give Isaac some food just in time to see her laughing, reaching for Isaac's hand, moving it over to his chest, and saying, "Plees, plees." Isaac, of course, was laughing as well.  It was SOOOO cute! Yet another KODAK moment (or Nikon, in our case).

Free Readings

My mother-in-law sent me an e-mail to let me know that Deseret Book is offering FREE book links for you to read some of their top books without BUYING them. For example, I just downloaded a copy of 10 Things Wise Parents Know. Check out some of their other books and read away . . . .

Cleaning 101 -- REAL SIMPLE Style

My friend Katelyn posted a link on her blog to a cleaning chart created by Real Simple.  My mom used to tell us about Homemaking Meetings when she was young-er that centered around making files that detailed what you should do, when, etc. to break down your cleaning.  This isn't exactly a file, but it's a simplified version that I think I can really get into.  Enjoy!

Laundry

Thanks EVERYONE for your great ideas!  My friend Amanda just introduced me to this GREAT new site, and they happen to have ideas about doing laundry.  The comments that follow give great tips as well.  Now to just incorporate your ideas with some of theirs, applied to my current situation, and get it all in place . . . . am I excited or WHAT?!?!?!?!  I LOVE to be organized!  Makes life SOOOOO much simpler.

P.S. - I made decisions on the quilts and ALMOST have all of the fabric.  The fabric I already bought is just NOW finishing the pre-wash, pre-dry-and-shrink, and iron-with-starch process.  So now . . . to the Christmas applique.  Buying material tomorrow before the fabric store's big sale ends. (FYI - if you live in Moscow, Quilt Something! is having a 40% off ALL of their fabric sale . . . plus an EXTRA 50% off their Clearance Room fabric, which ends up being 75% off -- $2.50 a yard instead of $10 a yard for the fabric there.  Basically FANTASTIC!!!! I bought the backing for both quilts for under $30.  BUT, it ends tomorrow; they close at 5:00 p.m.)

So much to DO, SO MUCH to do . . .

Do you ever feel like you spend every day, week after week, month after month, just trying to get on top of it all?  Cuz I feel like that is the only message I get out of each and every Sunday meeting: I have REALLY got to get a grip and get ON TOP of my LIFE!!!!  Oh, dear -- I sound like my mother!

But seriously, folks -- I'm having a hard time getting on top of everything.

It's like every night is such a combination wrestling match/marathon that when I get the kids to bed AT LAST, I have to just sit for at least an hour to catch my breath!  And then I wait up for Dave to get home so that we can see each other, read our scriptures, and pray together and have such a hard time sleeping at night when I finally GET to sleep that the morning starts on a sprint . . . . every morning . . . and I am doing good to remember to get food ont their trays or throw a morning/breakfast prayer into the mix with my starving little monkeys before they start screaming their heads off and/or developing lasting feelings of "mommy neglect."

And don't even get me started on discipline, because I know there are people out there who have babies that don't throw their food on the floor to either get attention or to signal that they don't LIKE it (when spitting it acoss the tray/room doesn't get the message out there loud and clear); and I know there are 16-month-olds that kneel and fold their arms and sit quietly for EVERY single prayer and whose parents have nipped any objections to do so in the bud the first time they hit.  But me?  Well - I'm just glad if I remember to say a morning/meal-time prayer or to feel the spirit at night when we pray over their cries and squirms and tired eyes.  For some reason, though, they usually stay quiet during our nightly primary song -- or just sing along.  Is there something wrong with this picture?

And the laundry?  It seems that once every two months I get on top of ALL of the laundry in the house -- it is all in its place in drawers, on hangers, in storage bins and boxes, etc. And I am DETERMINED to stay on top of it and make sure I get one load done every day (or two or three days as demand warrants) and don't have HUGE, DAUNTING piles sitting in various corners of my house just waiting for my attention when I finally get around to them (and being mixed with dirty clothes that got thrown here or there before that happens -- leaving me wondering what is clean and what is dirty and basically feeling like I am starting ALL OVER AGAIN).  Did I mention Isaac's favorite game is "throw the laundry"?  Cuz he LOVES to throw all the laundry over his head into a nice, neat pile behind him and then turn around and throw it all back into another neat pile behind him and then turn around and throw it back . . . . and Abby is quickly catching on, though she prefers endless rounds of peek-a-boo to the make-a-new-pile version of the game.  Yes, it is REALLY cute, until it is the FOLDED laundry they get to throwing!

Basically, I know I just need to get a grip.  I know it should be so easy to go bed at 9:00 at night, laundry and dishes done, toys picked up, and the house in order to start the next day.  I know it should be so easy to wake up at 5:00 in the morning, go running, come home, shower, read my scriptures, write in my journal, check on my calling, make breakfast for Dave, get him off to school, check my e-mail, write in my journal, and make breakfast for the babies so that I get them up with a morning prayer before they even get out of their beds and then have breakfast ready so that they can eat and play until they go down for that perfect morning nap that lasts an hour and a half so that I can work on making their quilts or other Christmas presents/projects while they sleep and get lunch ready so that they can eat when they wake up and we can go on an afternoon walk and play at the park and then go home and let them take another one and a half-hour nap while I work on other home projects I'm trying to get done (or write in their journals so they have an account of what they were like as kids), and then get dinner started so that they can wake up and play for a while and we can hopefully get Daddy home for dinner and sit and eat together as an ENTIRE family and play together and read scriptures together and pray together and get babies in bed together and get Daddy back to doing homework while I clean the kitchen, finish that one load of laundry, and get ready for the next day before reading our scriptures and praying together and going to bed promptly by 9:00 at night to start all over again.

It should be so easy.

Lynette's Wedding

 Lynette and Robert Carlson

October 17, 2009

Columbia River Temple

Richland, Washington

We got to spend the weekend with our dear friend Lynette, her new husband, and their families.  Though the weekend did not go as we had planned (Abby got sick again, starting Friday night), thanks to our dear friend AnnMarie, we got to have a quiet place for the babies to rest and still take the wedding pictures.  It was a perfect day in every way.  Just as the wedding party's shots were taken, the clouds came in (in the most perfect way) and we were able to get some amazing shots of the bride and groom and the Temple.

Congratulations you two!  We wish you the same peace, joy, happiness, and love that you felt (and can so obviously see) in these moments that you will remember for the rest of your lives!

 

 

No Other Success

I have been thinking a lot lately about President David O. McKay's quote that hung on the wall above our door frame at home for as long as I can remember: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."

I don't think I can actually write all of the things that have been on my mind regarding this quote.  But I feel like I need to try because it has been weighing so heavily on my heart in the last month.

One of the things that has significantly impacted the direction of my thoughts is the many friends I have who have gotten a divorce in the last few years; some have even been apart now longer than they were married.  The reasons are all valid in their minds.  I have heard people say, "It's complicated." "We just fell out of love." "I just couldn't stand the thought of being with him/her for another day, let alone forever." "He/she really had it coming for a long time." "Our interests and life goals just weren't heading the same direction any more.  It was better to make a break and each do what we really want than to hold each other back and watch our love die anyway." "I don't know what happened - I didn't even see it coming.  One day he/she just came home and said it was over, he/she wanted out. What else could I do?" "The bishop said that we needed to nurture our love and make it grow again; but I told him that you had to have a seed to make a plant grow and you had to have a seed to make love grow, and we just didn't have a seed."  And at the core of each of these comments has GENERALLY (though not always) been the unexpressed attitude of "it isn't my fault; I'm the innocent victim and now I have to live with the consequences."

Let me first say that I am married to a man who is divorced, so I know that there are situations when divorce is essential for exaltation to be possible.  And even though I can truly say that the greatest pains of Dave's first marriage and the greatest reasons for his getting a divorce were NOT his fault, he has never said that he was blameless. Even so, after years of unhappiness and working and working and working at it to make it work and have a Celestial Marriage, he finally called it quits after a chain of events that included his spouse's excommunication, infidelity, and, finally, their divorce.  There are times when there is no other option, particularly in the case of infidelity in marriage. I can think of nothing, next to suicide itself, that is more selfish and harmful than infidelity - and nothing more EASY to engage in if you go looking for it, let your thoughts entertain it, allow yourself to be flattered by the idea of it, etc. I must also add that infidelity includes the thoughts and intents of the heart; pornography is one of the most destructively subtle, though indirect, forms of infidelity out there. Talk to the spouse of one who is married to someone addicted to pornography if you disagree with me on that. There is more to infidelity than the momentary act of actual sexual intercourse.

That moves me to my other thoughts.  I look at the reasons I have heard for many years from the people who got divorced, and I am appalled that so many good people would let Satan take from them the most important thing they could ever work for or achieve: Eternal Life and Exaltation.  I truly feel that God will approach the breaking of covenants at the final judgment as strictly as he did in the Old Testament when they placed the broken pieces of animals on the altar of sacrifice as a symbol of what would happen to them if they were to break their covenants with God. I fear that we sometimes take these things WAY too lightly, living in and partaking of popular ideas/notions that promote self-centered and often casual thinking about what you want and how you are going to get it NOW instead of looking at the seeds and plants in our lives, identifying the moments when they were planted and allowed to grow or - conversely - when they started to wither and were eventually pulled out and cast aside.

It is so easy to be sidetracked by school, by work, by friends, by media, by exercise, by bills and mortgages and debt, by individual hobbies and interests, by video games and movies and tv shows, by children, by activities, even by callings and service at times. It is SO. EASY. It is so easy to get together with friends and harp on or sarcastically laugh about the faults and weaknesses of your spouse, the things they do that drive you nuts, the selfishness, the thoughtlessness, the ignorance, the stupidity, the lack of time and effort, the oversight. It is SO. EASY.  It is so easy to get casual in weekly family home evenings, using the time to play a game or watch a movie -- week after week after week -- while never looking at the hard things and working to improve in ways that will help you move together towards Eternal Life. It is SO. EASY. It is so easy to do the same for weekly date nights, watching a movie or television show EVERY week, playing a board or card game EVERY week, maybe even alternating between the two, telling yourselves that there isn't any point in or ability to do anything else because you don't have any money, you have children, you are too busy or too tired to plan anything else, etc. It is SO. EASY.

It is so hard to make time each day to talk to your spouse, to play with your children, to let the dishes sit in the sink or the laundry remain unfolded in the basket and spend time reconnecting as individuals, couples, and a FAMILY. It is SO. HARD. It is so hard to put yourself in your spouse's shoes each day and see the work and exhaustion involved in each others daily grind and turn your thoughts to how you can ease your spouse's burden instead of all the ways your spouse doesn't seem to be easing YOURS. It is SO. HARD. It is so hard to look at the imperfections in yourself and spend time talking about and focusing on how to improve those to make you a better person, friend, spouse, parent, neighbor, missionary, disciple and look to your spouse for help and assistance in becoming better. It is SO. HARD.  It is so hard to not focus on the imperfections of your spouse and allow them to turn from a chip to a canyon in your marriage and instead focus on nurturing in yourself and others feelings of respect, love, fondness, and admiration for your spouse. It is SO. HARD. It is so hard to weekly evaluate where you are as a family, what your weaknesses are, what potential storms you should be preparing for before they come or house fires you should be putting out before they burn down the neighborhood and then FOCUS on and PREPARE for those things as a FAMILY in weekly Family Home Evenings (particularly when your children are young and attention spans are short). It is SO. HARD. It is so hard to plan and thoughtfully carry out a date night that allows you to both come together, talk together, learn together, laugh together, grow together. It is SO. HARD. It is so hard to stay awake just a few minutes longer when the day is through to read your scriptures and pray together as a couple. It is SO. HARD. It is so hard after wrestling to get through bedtime routines to wrestle a few moments more to get in prayer and scripture study with you resistant children. It is SO. HARD. It is so hard to face dishes, laundry, cleaning, picking up toys a hundred times, cleaning up messes a hundred times, finding distractions and engaging activities a hundred times, planning and preparing and creating healthy meals four or five times a day when you never get to sit down and enjoy just one by yourself or even sit as a family. It is SO. HARD. And it is so hard to feel empty inside, unfulfilled, unappreciated, and essentially invisible and turn down a much-desired job or hobby or activity for the good of your children and home and family. It is SO. HARD.

"And it came to pass that when Jesus had ended these sayings he said unto his disciples: Enter ye in at the strait gate; for strait is the gate, and narrow [HARD] is the way that leads to life, and few there be that find it; but wide is the gate, and broad [EASY] the way which leads to death, and many there be that travel therein, until the night cometh." 3 Nephi 27:33

That moves me to my next thought: How am I going to make sure that this doesn't become me? How am I going to make sure that the night never comes to settle on my soul, in my marriage, or in my home?

Short and simple: I am going to do HARD things in the STRENGTH OF THE LORD. I am going to remember who I am, that I am a daughter of God, surrounded by imperfect but immortal individuals, able to access the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ for those things that I CAN help and those things that others do to ME that I cannot help. I am going to put first things first and not allow them to get lost in the WORLD, however tempting and/or taunting they may be. I am going to do HARD things until the hard path becomes easy and the EASY path disappears.  I am going to do HARD things, every day, in the STRENGTH OF THE LORD. I am going to KEEP the SACRED covenants I made with God and my spouse, covenants that embrace my children, EVERY DAY.

Salvation IS an individual matter.  Exaltation IS a family matter.  Nothing else matters more for the individual. And nothing else matters more for the family. NOTHING.

Too Many Choices

I have decided (and Dave has agreed) that one of the WORST things you can do is give me options and ask me to make a decision. I don't know why, but it is just nearly impossible for me to choose one thing from many good things.

For example, I decided that my hobby for the next year is going to be quilting -- I am going to make a quilt for each of my babies. And, if I get ambitious, a few other quilts for my future children (don't have them yet, but I figure that now is probably the easiest time for projects in the next 10 years because I only have TWO children right now). THERE ARE SO MANY AMAZING QUILTS OUT THERE -- and I really don't know what I want. I want cute for now but also something that will work for them for years to come. Like maybe until they get a queen-size bed and need to switch things up a bit. Idealistic? Maybe so - but that's what I'm thinking. And I want it to have meaning beyond the face value and the fact that Mom made it for them. My other problem is that I am, for all intents and purposes, a beginning sewer. I say all intents and purposes because I have watched and listened and assisted with SEVERAL sewing projects through the years. But I've never spear-headed something, least of all something like this.

So in the meantime, here are some of my FAVES!!!! Feel free to help the decision process along by casting your vote. For Abby, it's going to be pink and brown -- and I'm thinking more subdued pink vs. bright, here-I-am pink. For Isaac, I'm thinking green and blue -- though primary colors in deeper tones are also calling my name.

Abby Quilts

 Isaac Quilts

With the airplanes, I am thinking of alternating between star, airplane, rocket, kite. I think I'm leaning towards the crazy stars pattern, though.  

 

WANTED!

Item #1:
Good books on parenting, disciplining, raising toddlers, feeding toddlers, sleep habits, etc.

So far, people have suggested: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child; Siblings Without Rivalry; How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. What has helped you?

Brief scenario for you:
Sunday
Scene 1: Abby and Isaac empty their tupperware drawer.
Scene 2: Abby climbs INTO the drawer to play.
Scene 3: Isaac tries to PUSH Abby OUT of the drawer. Abby cries, Mom intervenes by removing BOTH children and closing the drawer.
Scene 4: 10 minutes later, mom hears babies crying and goes to investigate just in time to see Isaac fall backwards, hit his head on the floor, and start to cry. Abby pushed Isaac OUT of the drawer.

Yes, people, they are ONE -- just one!

Item #2:
A good garbage can for my kitchen that will hold my kitchen garbage and also KEEP MY BABIES OUT OF IT!!! They are determined, independent problem-solvers, so it HAS to ACTUALLY be child-proof. Why? Cuz I'm tired of them pulling food and garbage out of it (I think they're bored with what we already have, so I need to be more creative in toys/things to keep them entertained); and I'm REALLY tired of them dumping things INTO it -- yes, my friends: sippy cups, unopened cans of tuna, unopened bottles of juice, toys, you name it! Dump and pour stage, anyone? Well - it needs limits, and mommy saying no just isn't cutting it.

On Monday I was so sick of them pulling things out and putting things in while I was trying to make dinner and do dishes that I moved them into the living room to play and put our camping trunk in the passageway between the living room and dining room/kitchen area. I went down the hall to the bathroom only to have Isaac outside the door a few minutes later, talking to me -- VICTORIOUS over the trunk (did I mention they are determined, independent problem-solvers?). Abby was -- oh, yes, IN THE GARBAGE!!!!! I moved them back into the living room, replaced the trunk and put something heavier behind it, only to have Abby RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE, look at Isaac and jibber something that LOOKED and SOUNDED like, "C'mon, Isaac, let's get rid of this thing again!"

Yes, they are ONE - just one.

The Results are In . . .

SUCCESS! I am so excited about this that I just cannot stop thinking about it! Fantastic! Anyway, here's what we did tonight:

I decided to do a

"How to Have a Happy and Successful Marriage"

theme for Family Home Evening (note: in our Church, families are encouraged to have family night once a week where members of the family get together to just share time and enjoy each other with spiritual lessons and discussions, food, and fun activities - we call it Family Home Evening). I went to lds.org and researched that topic, looking for great talks and quotes I could use. Then I did a comparison between pizza and a happy marriage. Dave had NO idea I had bought these pans (did I mention he LOVES cast iron? Well, he LOVES cast iron). So it was a hit from the start. Here's the breakdown:

For a yummy pizza (happy and successful marriage), you need:
1) Skillet (casing): A complete living of the commandments of the Lord as outlined in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

2) Dough (foundation): Jesus Christ

3) Meat (substance, sustaining ingredient): Temple Covenants

4) Pineapple: Intimacy and fidelity, including honesty, trust, respect, and tenderness between partners.

5) Tomatoes/tomato sauce (*Note: Dave doesn't like fresh tomatoes, hence the reason this represents things you might not like but that add color, flavor, and necessary nutrients in my scenario): Unselfishness in all its forms; choosing your spouse's needs above your own; making personal sacrifices that hurt a little sometimes, losing the battles to win the war, etc.

6) Herbs/Spices/Seasonings (essential ingredients and flavors that are sometimes individually overlooked but make a huge difference to the end product): This quote from Howard W. Hunter covers it all -- "Teach the gospel to your family through regular family home evening, family prayer, devotional and scripture-reading time, and other teaching moments. Give special emphasis to preparation for missionary service and temple marriage. [Fathers], exercise your priesthood through performing the appropriate ordinances for your family and by giving blessings to your wife and children. Next to your own salvation, . . . there is nothing so important to you as the salvation of your spouse and children."

7) Olives (necessary, healthy "fats"; the things you might be tempted to cut out but really need for things to function and progress): Kindness and consideration to keep the love alive and growing (i.e. small, random acts of kindness; love notes; inexpensive just-because gifts; individualized service to let you know you're thinking about each other in the midst of craziness and life demands, etc.)

8) Cheese ( tops it all off; keeps everything else from moving, shifting, falling apart): Humility, forgiveness, repentance. I really liked this thought from Brent A. Barlow of the 70 -- "Many married couples may realize, as we did early in our marriage, that late at night when they are tired is not always the best time to resolve conflicts. But undoubtedly the spirit of Paul's counsel to the Ephesians would motivate us to resolve conflicts quickly so they do not persist and grow more intense over time. The Savior also admonished His disciples to resolve conflicts with dispatch so they could approach their God with pure hearts (see Matt. 5:23-24)."

There are a lot of comparisons you could make, but these were some of the ones that stood out to me and some of the things that have been on my mind lately as Dave and I have evaluated where we stand and how we can improve our relationship to meet our goal of having a marriage where we are both absolutely crazy about each other at 90+ years of age.

I made a large "slide" of each topping and comparison, had them all set out on the kitchen island with napkins covering them until each was "unveiled" and then we discussed. The great thing about this is that we know the general "sunday school" answers (the automatic answers you instinctively know and shout out in discussions but may or may not apply all the time); but covering this in Family Home Evening let us talk about these things in the specific context of OUR marriage. We know what we are doing well, we have plenty of fond memories of doing each and every one of these things, and we have plenty of room to grow and improve on each item. It was a PERFECT night! A MUST-repeat (next time with COOKIE DOUGH and SUNDAES).

Incidentally, I found a blog post with a General Conference tradition of doing Skookies after Priesthood session (with or without the actual pan). LOVED the recipe and the idea.