Soooo Different . . .

Just one quick note tonight, then I'll write more tomorrow.  I was thinking about how different my kids are, and also about how much you forget the little things that you think you never will.  In those moments, you wish you had taken time to write things down a little more carefully, to reflect on the uniqueness and the development and the temperament of each of your children a little more often, and to just soak in every memory, every laugh, every frustration, every everything.  So - forgive me if I catch up on a few here tonight!

Isaac is generally content to just be by himself, watch a movie, read a book, play with toys, etc.  He LOVES cars and animals and building blocks!  He also loves jumping and running and yelling and banging things and throwing things.  We're working on teaching boundaries and limits with that one! ;-)  Unless he needs something, he isn't really clingy.  But when he wants your attention, he doesn't want to be told no.  I have gotten him to say, "Up, please!" when he wants to be held, and we are trying to get him to take a breather and not pitch a fit when he doesn't get his own way.  And when he wants to cuddle, he is a terrific cuddle bug!  He could sit with you on the sofa and watch a movie or read a book or look at family pictures without interrupting you for . . . a long time.  I guess I've never actually timed it, but sometimes it seems he would never tire of these things.  He's all boy, though!  Dave says he just has so much testosterone running through his body that he doesn't know what to do with it all right now! Hahahaahaha!  That's a guy's explanation.  I say that he doesn't mean to be rough and tough and hurt anyone, but he doesn't realize that he's playing hard.  He's just playing.  He loves to get up on the sofa next to me, count to ten (yes, he counts to ten VERY CLEARLY), and then when he gets to five or ten or wherever else he wants to break, he jumps on me and says, "Ugh!" and then laughs his head off and does it again . . . and again . . . and again.  I'm trying to get him to jump from the sofa to the sofa's cushions on the floor -- but I guess Mom is so much more fun!  I'm also searching Craigs List every day to try to find him a little trampoline.  I think he would LOVE it!

And when he wakes up from his naps or when he is playing by himself or riding around in the car, you will OFTEN hear him singing.  His favorite songs are "Love One Another" - "Teach Me To Walk" - "Ring Around the Rosie" (yes, he thinks this is a song) - "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" - and the fair song from "Charlotte's Web" (harder to decipher until he gets to the part where he yells out, "glut, glut, glut, glut" at the top of his lungs).  He also LOVES to count to ten . . . and to sing the color/rainbow song with Mommy.  He also makes up songs sometimes, and when we ask both of them what they want to sing as a night-time song, they ALWAYS answer, "TEMPLE!!!!" - no hesitation whatsoever.  Abby is also a singer, no matter where she is or what she is doing.  She LOVES "The Wheels on the Bus" (especially when the babies go "Wahh, wahh, wahh") - "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" - "The Intsy-Wintsy spider" - "Love One Another" - and "Twinke Twinkle Little Star."  But no matter what we are singing, if we're introducing a new song at bedtime or whatever, she listens, tries to sing along, then says, "Again!" a few times when you are through, just to pick up on a few more words/cues. And I'll be darned if she doesn't catch on . . . really, really, really fast!

Isaac is a little more cautious than Abby when it comes to trying new things.  The other day we took them to the park for FHE.  He wasn't that adventurous -- not really wanting to climb the big set of stairs to get to the top of the big slide, taking quite a while to work his way to the top, and he tired quickly of the big slide, not enjoying the height/adventure for nearly as long as we had hoped. Or maybe it was the fact that a bunch of other little kids started taking turns, and he got bored with waiting!  I don't know.  But then he saw the puppy a little girl was leading around on a leash, and he b-lined it after that puppy and followed it around the park with zeal!  Nothing was distracting him from that puppy.  He was the same when he saw the birds flying in the trees - he chased them for a good 15-20 minutes, looking around every now and then to make sure I was there, but still totally focused on the birds.  And when he saw the large yellow butterfly -- woah!  That caught his eye.  It was SOOOO cool!  He asked me what it was, and I told him, and then he followed it until he couldn't see it any longer.  And when he saw the big boys having a sand fight in the sand box/climbing wall, he was ALL OVER THAT action!  He started throwing the sand all over - in front of him, behind him, in his hair, etc.  He was in heaven!  Abby, on the other hand, LOVES to climb the stairs as fast as she can and go down the tallest slide as many times as we will let her.  And she will spend 30 minutes on the swings, asking to go higher, never really done.  She has no fear when it comes to new things.  Scary, I know!  But so fun to see her looks of pure delight that I almost forget that it means I have to watch her that much more closely! :-)

Isaac is a very neat eater.  At our church party last Saturday, we gave he and Abby a HUGE piece of watermelon.  Isaac didn't like it at first because of the mess, but then the taste was so great that he decided he didn't care.  Still, he carefully nibbled little bites until he got tired of it.  Then he told me he was done, that his hands were messy, threw it away, and was done.  Abby wasn't so careful.  She used her hands, her face, her shirt, etc. to get at that watermelon!  By the time she was done, her pink shirt was soaked with the juice, and she was having the time of her life trying to get every last bite possible out of that thing.  The same happened with the cotton candy.  Isaac didn't like the texture of it and quickly shunned it.  Then he asked me, "Help, please!"  So I tore off pieces, wadded them up, and gave them to him.  He was content.  Abby on the other hand had it all over her sticky little face, just loving and giggling at herself with each bite!  It reminded me of their first birthday.  When we gave them the cake for them to make the infamous mess all over their little faces and everything else in reach, Isaac stopped as soon as he realized the frosting was stuck to his hand.  He just sat there, shaking his hand and reaching out for someone to clean the frosting off.  Abby, on the other hand, dove right in . . . to her cake and Isaac's, making almost enough mess for the two of them together!

Abby couldn't sit through an entire movie or even to let you read her an entire book (without her taking over and doing it herself) if her life depended on it.  She wants to know where I am at all times.  Sometimes, if I'm in the kitchen (cleaning, cooking, etc.) and she's playing in the living room, I'll hear her say, "Mommy?"  "What Abby?"  "Where are you?"  "I'm in the kitchen." "Okay."  Today I went down to my room to change into my workout clothes.  I had barely turned the corner when I heard Abby running down the hall as fast as she could, yelling, "Mommy . . . Mommy . . . I coming . . . coming . . . coming!"  She didn't want me to leave her while I went to my room.  If I go to the bathroom without leaving the door open for her to follow me in, she lays on the floor outside the door and screams as if her life has just ended. 

She is also such a little mother.  For example, Isaac bumped his head on something in his room tonight.  He came out to the kitchen where the rest of us were just crying his little heart out.  Abby reached over, touched his arm, and said, "Isaac, what's the matter?  You hurt?  Isaac?  What's the matter?  Are you crying?  Hurt your head?"  Isaac will just say, through sobs that are DEMANDING a hug and kiss, "Yeah -- yeah! Ohhhhhh . . . . !"  It's really very cute.  Then there was the day a few weeks ago when she went and got his clothes out of my hands and said, "Isaac -- get dressed, go bye-bye, okay?  Isaac, get dressed, go bye-bye, okay, Isaac?"  Or when I tell them to go and get their toys or their shoes or whatever else and Abby grabs Isaac by the hand and says, "C'mon -- c'mon, let's go."  The other night when I ran to the store, Dave put them to bed by himself.  Isaac gets really wound up at night and likes to be all over the place just for the sake of being rambunctious and all over the place.  Abby follows suit to follow suit and get attention.  However, when it comes to calming down and saying prayer, Abby is usually really easy to settle and ready to say her prayer.  Isaac, on the other hand, needs a lot more patient coaxing and . . . patience. . . and coaxing.  It's like he doesn't want to do it unless it's his idea.  So in my absence, Abby stepped into the Mommy role.  She knelt down next to him, got right up in his face, and told Isaac, "Kneel down. Prayer, okay?  Isaac, prayer - okay?  Isaac.  Isaac.  Say Thank you!  Isaac. Thank you."  However, this morning after I gave them breakfast and had prayer with them, I walked away from the table for a minute and turned back around to Isaac saying a prayer all by himself.  Abby's arms were folded, listening to another prayer on the food.  Isaac got caught in the thank you part, so I helped him get to the end.  And he was so proud! 

Isaac's just one of those kids that you might mis-read, thinking he isn't getting anything.  Then you find how wrong you were when he just goes and does whatever it was he "wasn't getting" all by himself, without prodding or guidance in any way. Just give him space and see what he can do!  And he can do a lot!

They're both sponges for everything, and whenever they see anything new, they say, "What's that?"  And then repeat whatever you tell them. Sometimes we play the "What's that?" game for quite a while, them asking me what something is, even when they already know the answer, and sometimes they even answer themselves before I get the answer out.

I would say they are very polite as well.  Abby almost always says thank you, without invitation.  And if you don't say you're welcome right away, she says it for you!  Isaac often says your welcome instead of thank you -- but we're getting that straightened out!  Hey - at least he knows you're supposed to say something there, right?  Another thing -- my sister Lisa started teaching them to say, "May I please have some . . . " when they stayed with her and my mom while Dave and I packed up the condo.  It wasn't a habit when we picked them up, but I heard Lisa trying to get Isaac to say it and picked up on the fact that they had at least been introduced to and working pretty hard on it.  So we kept it going.  Isaac really gets it now.  He smoothly says, "May I please have some" and fills in the blank without missing a beat.  Abby's rendition goes a little more like this - and this is in as sing-song, exaggerated of a voice as you can imagine from an almost-two-year-old, "May . . . I . . . . Please . . . Some . . . ice! milk! water! - No!  Huh-uh -- that!"  And again, if I don't fill in my answer of "Yes, you may" immediately, she says, "You may" for me, followed by "Thank you" AND "You're Welcome."  It's hilarious!  I don't even have to say anything - she carries on the entire conversation for me!

So those are some things that have made me smile today!  I love my children!!!  I can't imagine a world without the color of Abby and Isaac!

Sweet Abby; Sweet Isaac!

Abby woke up screaming in the middle of the night.  I went in to check on her, and Isaac started to cry.  I went to get them some milk, since Abby had asked for milk and it's really a comfort thing for them.  They, of course, sat behind the closed door, on the floor, screaming at the top of their lungs while I disappeared to the kitchen to fulfill her request.  When I got back with the milk, I noticed that the floor where Isaac had been laying was REALLY hot for the amount of time he had been laying there and I had been gone.  I felt his head and . . . sure enough . . . fever!  Dave got him some medicine, we tried to get them calmed down, I sang to them for a while, and then Isaac fell asleep for the night.  Abby, however, had a harder time of it.  Makes me wonder if she isn't sick as well.  Then she wet through her diaper and clothes and woke up at 4:30 this morning.  Bless Dave's heart -- he took care of it all for me.  Not that I wasn't awake during all of it, but at least I didn't have to get UP and be even MORE awake.  Then Isaac woke up screaming again at 6:30 -- fever of 101.4.  I gave him Tylenol, he threw up, and he has wanted to be held but not quite able to get comfortable all day long.

Anyway, in the midst of this, when he first got up after his nap this afternoon, I told Abby that he was sick and she needed to leave him alone today.  The following is what I heard from the kitchen as I rinsed out the syringe from giving him medicine.

Abby: Isaac -- are you sick?
Isaac: (Groan) -- Uh huh; yeah.
Abby: Need a pillow?  Isaac?  Pillow?
Isaac: (Starts to cry because he is NOT in the mood to be touched by ANYONE right now, and I just assume from my position in the kitchen that Abby is trying to touch him or climb up and sit next to him or whatever else I had asked her not to do when I explained that Isaac was very sick).
Abby: (Apparently does not stop because Isaac continues crying, or at least that's what I think from the other room.)
Enter Mommy, stage left. I come in to save Isaac from Abby, ready to tell her firmly to leave him alone -- again -- because he is really sick.  What do I see?  Abby looking anxiously at Isaac, his pillow from his bed in her hand, trying really hard to lift it up with one hand while trying to simultaneously lift up Isaac's head with the other.  All the while saying, "Pillow?  Isaac?  Pillow?"

A humbled Mommy takes the pillow and gently puts it under Isaac's head, thanking Abby for being so thoughtful and getting it for him.  They really are mindful of each other in ways I forget they are capable of sometimes.  And that little Abby is a mother!  A tender-hearted and sometimes very moody, but always very thoughtful little mother!

TIME OUT!!!!

I need a time out!  No, really.  A good one.  Like a week with quilting frames, no kids, my sewing machine, someone to cook healthy food for me to keep me fueled, and time . . . time to finish all my projects and get my house perfectly in order and start thinking about baby #3 . . . . .

And I need a Time Out with just Isaac.  Time to play and to sing and to dance and to jump and to count to ten and build a sand castle and bury him in the sand and chase birds and play ball and crash his cars into walls and find safe things for him to bang 'til his heart's content . . .

And I need a Time Out with Abby.  Time to sing and color and dance and swing on the swings for hours and hours and slide down the highest slide at the playground and play with her "baby" and buckle buckles over and over and over again and cuddle and read stories and jump off the sofa onto the floor and . . .

And I need a Time Out with Dave.  Time to talk and play games and read books and go backpacking or just for long walks on country roads and go to the temple and take pictures and make memory books together and take dancing lessons and sing off key and rock out to AC/DC and Michael Buble and lift weights at the gym and go for a nice evening run or a long bike ride or a day hike to a waterfall or a 2,000-year-old tree and cook some elaborate-tasting dessert to go with his famous BBQ Ribs as we host a summer BBQ and play ultimate frisbee or other games with friends. 

Someone needs to invent Time Out Land -- where families re-connect for as long as they need.

Until then, however . . . I guess I better figure out how to create my own Time Out Land!  When I get it pulled together, I'll send out invitations! ;-D

Pregnancy, Shmegnancy!

Okay - I know that I have many friends who would LOVE to have a pregnancy woe day!  So I'm not trying to be ungrateful here, but I have to say that I am SOOOOOO not a fan of pregnancy right now!!!  Why? 

My friend Amanda, who was one of my weight-loss buddies after I had the twins, is NOT pregnant right now and is gathering songs to workout/run to.  As I listened to MY FAVORITE running album -- Collective Soul's "Afterwords" -- to give her some titles to look up and run to, my heart and mind were taken back to last November, pre-foot surgery when my plans and hopes to run a half-marathon in January were cut short -- to the days when I ran two to seven miles on the Chipman Trail, headed out the Troy highway, often with no one and nothing else in sight. 

And for a few minutes, I was full of energy and drive and determination and hopes and all of those feelings you get when you're running and training and pushing and moving and away from kids and house stress and . . . life . . . for just a moment.  When you feel invincible, like you can do anything and you are GOING to do EVERYTHING you ever dreamed of . . . it's all within your reach.  And I remembered the things that used to go through my mind as I ran, my thoughts often turned towards dreams of making my life or other people's lives better . . . of changing lives - maybe even through exercise - or encouraging people to be more than they were, to dream bigger than what was in front of them, to find happiness and joy in their reality, to do hard things and find the strength to do even harder things.  That is what running gave me -- every. single. day. 

And I am so, so, so, so, so thankful that Dave made time every day to come home and give me an hour in the middle of his 14- to 18-hour days to get out and have that moment, feel that release, feel that energy, feel that hope, feel ALIVE and capable of still doing and accomplishing and becoming something more than . . . run-down mommy, at the mercy of my children's schedules (or lack thereof) and whims and mood-swings and messes and developing ability to assert themselves however they wanted (which they have since perfected QUITE WELL, by the way).

And it isn't pregnancy's fault that it stopped -- I mean, my friend Sarah ran almost EVERY SINGLE DAY of her pregnancy, right up to the day before she gave birth.  (You're my hero, Sarah -- and next pregnancy, I'm going to try to follow your awesome example of energy and drive and insanity!!!!)  But pregnancy is the longer-lasting and more permanent of the two accumulating evils, so it gets the bad wrap!!! ;-D

And it is really my hope that six weeks postpartum, we'll be through with allergy season in the Antelope Valley and I can hit the pavement again, Collective Soul drowning out everything but the positive hopes and energy and strength and determination and success that I am really missing right now! It's a little discouraging to think I'll be starting out all over again, working up to running miles one, two, and three, but it will be all the more fun and sweet because I'll remember how much I have MISSED and looked forward to and LONGED for the ability to START OVER AGAIN and . . . .FINISH!!!!

And lest I forget, I'll have this post to remind me . . . :-D

Oh the CYCLE . . .

You know it, right?  Can't sleep, can't function; can't sleep, can't function. 

With Dave being on an "in bed by 9:00 p.m., up by 5:00 a.m. EVERY day -- even Sunday" schedule to keep himself going and make the two hour round-trip commute to work every day (plus fit in workouts at the Base gym), I'm a little OFF!  Not that I don't need that much sleep, but I'm just having a hard time coordinating EVERYTHING going on in this little body right now.  I mean . . . sleep, countless trips to the bathroom all night long, inevitable heartburn that wakes me up at least once a night . . . not to mention all the thoughts of the things I should have gotten done that day and HAVE to get done the next.  But then daytime hits, the twins wake up, and I'm somehow EXHAUSTED and not functioning up to par.

And so the cycle continues . . . .

Can't sleep . . . can't function . . . . can't sleep . . . . can't function . . . .

Air Conditioning . . .

So, I really haven't had air conditioning much in my life.  We had a swamp cooler growing up, and I don't think I ever honestly realized there was a difference between that and air conditioning.  Then I went to college and . . . I mean, seriously, WHO has air conditioning while they're in college?

HOWEVER, when we moved to the middle of nowhere desert-ville California, it was a MUST MUST MUST on our list.

Why?  Well, at around 3:00 this morning when I was up with horrible heart-burn and mourning the latest update on Preslee Jo, I noticed a little power surge.  The power didn't go all the way out, but there was a shortage for an instant.

And at 5:00 this morning when Dave woke up to get ready for work (I was STILL up, mind you -- just could NOT sleep last night), I noticed that it was already 78 degrees in the house, even though the air conditioner was set to 72.

Yes I called Dave (he says it's probably the compressor - I learn a LOT about things like this from him).  Yes I called the landlord.  No, no one has been able to help yet.

And it's not even noon yet.  And it's 83 degrees in here people!!!

Where are we going to go for the afternoon . . . me and my two investigate-everything-in-sight-ers?  I have NO idea!!!

Finding Strength

Among other things, today my thoughts have been centered around a little girl I have never met but pray constantly for.  Her name is Preslee, and she fell into a canal last week and was retrieved by a farmer a few miles down the canal from where she fell in.  She is still alive, but she has considerable brain damage.  The hope is that the damage is temporary and she can recover all of her abilities and live without machines very soon.  Right now, she and her parents are at Primary Children's in Salt Lake -- where she is heroically overcoming many obstacles and fighting for her life, strengthened I am sure by her parents' love and constant care.

As I looked at her pictures, I saw my little Abby!  And I wanted to run into her room, wake her from her nap, and just hold her and cuddle her and sing to her and make her laugh and never. let. go.

Of course, I didn't.  I sat contentedly with Isaac and just cuddled with him, content that he was content to sit with Mommy for a few moments without getting up and running off to explore and conquer! 

And I thought about how great it is to be a mom!  How hard it is almost every day, and yet it is also so rewarding.  I don't know what I would do if, in an instant -- or worse, over the course of several days or weeks of helplessness -- it was all taken away from me.  There would be an inexplicable void -- and I don't know that anything or anyone could ever fill it again.

And I prayed for a miracle for this little girl and her parents.  A miracle to serve as a capstone to the many tender mercies they are already experiencing.

Amid these thoughts and my other worries/concerns about things going on in life right now, I read a scripture from the Book of Mormon this morning that humbled me and brought me peace:

"[H]ow is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."  ~ 1 Nephi 7:12


From that moment, my prayer for this family and for myself is simply that the Lord will help us remember that together (He and me), WE can do ALL things according to HIS will.  And that's so much nicer than my rattling brain trying to do it all on my own!  I'm sure that is why this family has so much strength and so much peace!

Stay strong, Preslee! 

Small and Simple Things

Wow - I don't even know where to begin with this post.  I have been thinking today about how small things really do lead to great things . . . how sometimes an inch really is a mile.  Some background:

Shortly after we moved into the condo, we had a huge rainstorm.  Fortunately for us, Dave soon discovered that our laminate flooring around the balcony door was all wet . . . a puddle, actually, of water.  It took us almost two years -- with plastic taped to the glass doors and buckets out at all times -- before the Home Owner Association finally got the problem fixed.  Thank heavens for Home Owner's Associations!!!

Well, as we were preparing to move to California, we wanted to leave the condo in PRISTINE shape because we decided to keep it, refinance it, and rent it out next year.  Well, the night before we left for California, Dave pulled the paint tape off the ceiling in one of the bedrooms . . . and pulled off the ceiling with it.  It had water damage that had completely seeped through the sheetrock.  Impeccable. timing.

Well, we called the after-hours number for the HOA manager, sent her an e-mail about what was going on, and drove away the next morning at 5:30 a.m.

Less than two weeks later, we found out that the water damage was actually severe mold and water damage.  In fact, it now appears that there are at least three beams in ceiling that have to be completely replaced, not to mention the sheetrock and paint and beams between the bedrooms in our condo.  And if they don't get them replaced, well the ceiling will soon collapse, making even more fun trouble to deal with later.  What is the estimated cost of this project so far?  $14,000.  No - I'm NOT kidding!

And do you want to know what caused all of this damage?  The original contractor that built the condos didn't seal off the dryer ducts properly.  That's it.  Such a small thing that led to incredible damage, could have even led to life-threatening damage had the beams collapsed while someone was living there, completely oblivious to the fact that there was any looming danger whatsoever.  And the mold danger/effects?  If we were still living there, we would have to move out because of the mold.  So. fun. 

On the flipside, I wrote in the last post how things were less than stellar here and California had gone to no great lengths to lay out the red carpet of welcome when we arrived.  Even things at church started out a bit rocky (like no one showed up to help us move, even though we had called ahead and made arrangements -- yeah -- not a good first impression). 

Then I decided that this was going to be fantastic! (Dave coaxed me in that direction quite a bit -- so glad I have such a strong spouse to remind me when I just want to cave and go home!)  The next Sunday at church, I started introducing us to everyone I met -- the people sitting outside in the foyer with us during Sacrament Meeting, the people I sat next to in Sunday School, the Relief Society (Dave went to Nursery with the kids to let me go to my meetings -- SUCH a gem!!!!).  Anyway, by the end of the day, I had signed up to take food for the service project to serve a meal at the Homeless Shelter, signed up to take waffle toppings for the ward waffle breakfast/clean the chapel service project, and we had been asked to speak in church the next Sunday.  And you know what?  I'm already feeling attached to the people I've been talking with, serving with, etc.  It's made everything here seem SO MUCH MORE DO-ABLE than it was before.  Someone suggested an OB/GYN for me to go to.  I don't feel quite so alone, and I am really thankful that Dave is home in the evenings and on the weekends to let me participate in some of these things.  I've really missed all of this. Small, simple things.

So back to small and simple things.  No matter which way you spin it -- positive small things that make a huge difference in your attitude about and/or experience with something or negative small things that end up taking so much more time and money to fix later when they should have/could have just been done right to start out with -- small and simple things really DO bring about GREAT THINGS.  Those things might be a mighty change of heart, a much-needed lesson learned, a course correction to put you back where you want/need to be, new beams in the ceilings and walls in the condo, a casual acquaintance that you find is really a kindred spirit and eternal friend you didn't even know you were missing, an opportunity to discover and build a talent, an opportunity to overcome a weakness or get rid of a negative characteristic you've been fighting for years, etc.

And when the twist is less than positive, nip it in the bud at the first sign!  Stop any further damage from hitting, revise your plan, course, job pursuit, etc., and MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS by getting rid of anything that would stand in your way and filling in with the things you can control, you CAN change, you can IMPROVE upon. 

By the way -- six months pregnant, and I am just now FINALLY getting into a steady routine of doing my prenatal workout videos (four days down -- twelve weeks to go).  Once again, a small thing that will -- with persistence, endurance, and consistency -- lead to a great thing!  And, allergies or no allergies, once this baby is born and I can get on some good allergy medication and even use a strong inhaler, I am going to find a way to train for and run AT LEAST a half-marathon! 

One. day. at. a. time. . . .