Pregnancy, Shmegnancy!

Okay - I know that I have many friends who would LOVE to have a pregnancy woe day!  So I'm not trying to be ungrateful here, but I have to say that I am SOOOOOO not a fan of pregnancy right now!!!  Why? 

My friend Amanda, who was one of my weight-loss buddies after I had the twins, is NOT pregnant right now and is gathering songs to workout/run to.  As I listened to MY FAVORITE running album -- Collective Soul's "Afterwords" -- to give her some titles to look up and run to, my heart and mind were taken back to last November, pre-foot surgery when my plans and hopes to run a half-marathon in January were cut short -- to the days when I ran two to seven miles on the Chipman Trail, headed out the Troy highway, often with no one and nothing else in sight. 

And for a few minutes, I was full of energy and drive and determination and hopes and all of those feelings you get when you're running and training and pushing and moving and away from kids and house stress and . . . life . . . for just a moment.  When you feel invincible, like you can do anything and you are GOING to do EVERYTHING you ever dreamed of . . . it's all within your reach.  And I remembered the things that used to go through my mind as I ran, my thoughts often turned towards dreams of making my life or other people's lives better . . . of changing lives - maybe even through exercise - or encouraging people to be more than they were, to dream bigger than what was in front of them, to find happiness and joy in their reality, to do hard things and find the strength to do even harder things.  That is what running gave me -- every. single. day. 

And I am so, so, so, so, so thankful that Dave made time every day to come home and give me an hour in the middle of his 14- to 18-hour days to get out and have that moment, feel that release, feel that energy, feel that hope, feel ALIVE and capable of still doing and accomplishing and becoming something more than . . . run-down mommy, at the mercy of my children's schedules (or lack thereof) and whims and mood-swings and messes and developing ability to assert themselves however they wanted (which they have since perfected QUITE WELL, by the way).

And it isn't pregnancy's fault that it stopped -- I mean, my friend Sarah ran almost EVERY SINGLE DAY of her pregnancy, right up to the day before she gave birth.  (You're my hero, Sarah -- and next pregnancy, I'm going to try to follow your awesome example of energy and drive and insanity!!!!)  But pregnancy is the longer-lasting and more permanent of the two accumulating evils, so it gets the bad wrap!!! ;-D

And it is really my hope that six weeks postpartum, we'll be through with allergy season in the Antelope Valley and I can hit the pavement again, Collective Soul drowning out everything but the positive hopes and energy and strength and determination and success that I am really missing right now! It's a little discouraging to think I'll be starting out all over again, working up to running miles one, two, and three, but it will be all the more fun and sweet because I'll remember how much I have MISSED and looked forward to and LONGED for the ability to START OVER AGAIN and . . . .FINISH!!!!

And lest I forget, I'll have this post to remind me . . . :-D