So remember when you were (perhaps still are) single and had anti-Valentine's Day parties with all of your girlfriends and non-boyfriend boys who were your friends to just get together and celebrate (with a hint of longing and bitterness) that you were single and unattached and therefore NOT going to waste your time on a silly holiday about LOVE unless you got to have a party to make fun of it? Love-schmove, right? Well, I'm NOT single. And as I was making dinner last night while Dave read over the lesson he was teaching in church today, we suddenly had the following conversation:
Dave: Melinda, we need to talk about our Valentine's Day budget/plans.
Me: (wondering where in the WORLD that came from and where in the WORLD it was going since I wasn't aware we HAD a Valentine's budget category OR plans) Uh-huh?
Dave: Yeah, like I don't want to spend ANY money on this holiday.
Me: (staring at him for a long time to try and determine if this is a trick because he already spent money on me but doesn't want to be outdone or . . .) Are you being serious?
Dave: Yeah. I mean, really, look at what this holiday has turned into - people thinking they have to go out and spend ridiculous amounts of money on candy and flowers and dinner and jewelry and who knows what? No! That's not what love is about. So I think we shouldn't spend any money. We can get a babysitter to watch the kids while we go for a walk or something, but I don't want to buy into all the commercialism surrounding "love."
Me: (amused, not gonna lie - and with all that has been going on the last few weeks, I hadn't really given the day any thought yet) Okay - sounds good to me. I really hadn't thought about it yet, but I don't mind not spending money.
Dave: Okay, good.
Me: Okay, good.
Is it strange that I totally get where he's coming from and really, really, really DON'T mind NOT spending money on THE day of buy or make people things to show them you LOVE them? Or do I really secretly WANT him to have gotten me a gift or to give me permission to do something romantic for him that would require me spending money to either have something to give or to buy the stuff I need to make something to give? Does this mean we are Valentine's Day SCROOGES or say something about our relationship? I would say it says we're cheap if it was me that came up with the idea cuz - frankly - until we are 100% debt-free, done with Dave's education, done having children, settled and more established, I am CHEAP about all things spending money. But Dave -- Dave isn't. Dave's the one that talked me into working fun money for each other AND our family into our budget. He isn't cheap. He's frugal - sometimes with some friendly persuasive reminders from yours truly, but he isn't cheap.
Overthinking - totally overthinking!
Hmmmm . . . I wonder how we'll feel about it in 10, 25, 50 years down the road? :-0
7 years ago
2 comments:
Okay, so I've thought about this same thing A LOT! Bill has always been concerned with how much we spend on each other, etc. I feel that it really doesn't matter how much money is put into a gift rather than the thought that goes into it. I'm constantly reminding him that I'd rather have a thoughtful handmade card than an expensive box of chocolates. YES, it is nice every once in a while to get a nice gift...but really, I just want to know that my husband thinks about me and if he can portray that in a FREE walk in the park, then by all means!
Um deep down I would be wishing he secretly got me a gift. But usually when I hope Ike has something up his sleeve I always get let down. To each his own. Hope our Vday is great no matter what.
Post a Comment